Do Gay Men Fall in Love With Women

Since: Apr 10

Location hidden

#3274 Sep 27, 2012
I dont know what happened to my post so you may get twice . I have a direct as possible answer to your question that is a complex and complicated. Love is complex. You sometimes cant help who yuo fall in love with . Unless you train yourself and that comes with experience. We are all wired different and love who we love for many reasons too long to write here. but its just a fact love is complex. I loved and still i do but not like before a gay man . he turned out to be a louse but charming and bright so i was fooled 4 years. Enough time to really get close to him .He bought me some gifts . Took me out even. Treated me well. He had a bf but i would come over and he would put pillows under my feet and say rest . WHo does that? No man i knew. I wish. So i was happy. I thought i had a friend for life and potentially more as he even told me he thought of me all day and asked for marraige once. Sounds lovely but in reality it was confusing and not right. I am sure your guy is not a phony but still. Gay men like men more. They just do. There is a slight chance he can decide to like women sexually but it is so slight i wouldn't count on it. If it happens cool but not likely. So I would be happy with him as your friend and try to subdue the love feelings. thats what i was doing. He may have mentioned marraige for example but i did not . I thought i am the woman here . I better keep things healthy and if it was going to marriage i would let him know not the other way. As i would be happy with his feelings about sex with me and giving up men etc...I would (as i adored him so) of let him go with men once or twice a year as long as he was with me and we had sex too the rest of the year. As i have a friend of a friend who does this in marriage with a gay man/ this is so rare I am not sure you should even think of that. I obviously loved him as i am still on here trying to write others while i forget a little more about him each month. I wish someone could help it go faster for me but what can i say it must have been a strong connection. We really had some kind of soulmate feelings. I dont get to feel much with anyone. It was hard to let that go but sometimes you must. Good luck and tell me if you have any ?'s
Cuahutli Jimenez wrote:
I would like to know a direct answer to this question. Although, i cant imagine this answer being black and white! I think I'm falling for a gay man. I've known him for quite some time and we have so many things in common. Our career paths, and our political affiliations. When I first met him I kind of made a pass at him. He didn't say he was gay,(nor would I expect him too) but he seemed flattered by my complements and said he would call. He did. But we didn't actually hang out until I found out thru Facebook that he was gay and in a new relationship with a guy! You can imagine my devistation! Regardless of his sextual preference he was an amazing guy and I still wanted to get to know him. We hung out and it kind seemed like he was flirting with me. He has been busy with his new relationship and work so we haven't been able to hang out again. But just recently we we're texting and he mentioned how beautiful I was (twice) and how he needed to watch him self with me. What does that mean?! So then I respond and said " don't tease me you know what I would do if you weren't gay" then he says " maybe one day we will really get loose" now what the f** does that mean?!! I already went thru the greaving process for this man, when I found out he was gay! I can't go thru it again! And this comment? I need to either get over the fact that he's gay, or idk! I keep telling myself "he's gay" but I can't help having some kind of hope! I don't know what to make of this!!? I NEED ADVICE!!
Cuahutli Jimenez

San Diego, CA

#3275 Sep 28, 2012
Thanks so much for your reply. I was in the fog with all of this. My friends and family think I'm crazy, but i cant help but know that hes meant to be in my life, whether as a friend of as something else. me and this guy kept talking about our conversation today, and i feel like he might be bisexual.I've been doing some research, I am that paranoid!! i know we cant always believe what we read on the internet but i just feel like it will all be okay. but my only concern is that as a heterosexual woman its already too much to compete with a woman, i could never compete sexual or physically with a man! I think ill see how this all goes. I am a very blunt and straight to the point type girl, so when the time comes i will be asking him. I dont like to be confused or be played like a fool. thanks again bev0309!

Since: Apr 10

Location hidden

#3276 Sep 29, 2012
Cuahutli You are welcome . It helps me too. I am still on here and i have not seen my friend in over a year. I wont get into it. I sure did a lot on here but he hurt me. I can only imagine part of it was as he asked to marry me and i froze with no answer. Never answered or discussed with him only said no to anything he asked about dating me etc... So you being straight and to the point personality can only help. I am but not about love sometimes, I am quiet and confused too much Well. Maybe that is why i am divorced once , unengaged once. But i am learning. and growing And not making those mistakes again. Anyway i hope you both can remain friends. I think that is cool and if more happens then it does but i would not push it or force it or want it as most likely it wont. I even once met a therapist to gay men who married straight women . She was at a wedding i went to sitting near me. I knew my ex friend then and she said from her 20 plus years experience. Its best not to 99.9% of the time. I dont like those odds. ha
Cuahutli Jimenez wrote:
Thanks so much for your reply. I was in the fog with all of this. My friends and family think I'm crazy, but i cant help but know that hes meant to be in my life, whether as a friend of as something else. me and this guy kept talking about our conversation today, and i feel like he might be bisexual.I've been doing some research, I am that paranoid!! i know we cant always believe what we read on the internet but i just feel like it will all be okay. but my only concern is that as a heterosexual woman its already too much to compete with a woman, i could never compete sexual or physically with a man! I think ill see how this all goes. I am a very blunt and straight to the point type girl, so when the time comes i will be asking him. I dont like to be confused or be played like a fool. thanks again bev0309!
Jeensha

Cebu City, Philippines

#3277 Sep 30, 2012
its nice to know that im not the only one who's (i think) in love with a gay. i just cant take him off my mind. whatever i do i always think of him & cant wait to go home & tell him what happened to me that day. he said my eyes & legs are sexy. he holds my hand everytime we walk off the street or cross the road, he said he cant sleep well if im not home yet. i dont want to give myself false hopes, coz i might be wrong that he feels something for me more than friends. im kinda confused bcoz he still like some cute/handsome guys. i dont want this feeling. i didnt imagine myself & him making love. im just so contented of hugging him, kissing him on the cheeks, laugh out loud with him & all that stuff, so im not sure if i love him. i really dont know what to do. & i dont want to tell him about this coz id rather suffer than to lose him. i dont want to lose the relationship i have with him right now:(
Dani

Barre, VT

#3278 Oct 3, 2012
Jeensha, You are so not alone. I have gotten myself in a very similar yet complicated situation. I am married with kids and I love my husband, but my soul mate is my gay neighbor. We act like a couple lot of the time, but to him its normal to be touchy feely that is just how he is. He helps take care of my kids, we snuggle together, hold hands,kiss& even sleep with each others clothes to feel close to each other. It started as just friends and then Idk but wow!! All that sappy love shit you hear in songs and see on tv I feel that for him and him for me, we say we have a tainted love I'm married and he's gay and that won't change. I do know that if you don't tell him how you feel it will eat you up, not knowing,but from my personal experience knowing is just as painful. So if you love him ask yourself could you live with the fact that he is gay but loves you, and all the things that you may want from him you may not get. For me it has been an emotional roller coaster it's the greatest feeling to be loved,soul connected to someone ,but knowing that I can never have him the way I want is the most painful thing I live with everyday. I totally see why you don't want these feelings ,but I believe everything happens for reason even if you don't know what it is yet. we talk about it from time to time and have agreed that knowing what we do is between us and not being together would be more painful than doing what we are doing. Hope this help.
e-mail

UK

#3279 Oct 3, 2012
Hi I'm a 50 lesbian. Will chat bout anything lesbian related. Any probs just drop me a line and I'll see if I can help x
Cheryl

Dublin, Ireland

#3280 Oct 7, 2012
Today...I dont know why but I miss my funslave so much it hurts
Jeensha

Philippines

#3281 Oct 7, 2012
Dani wrote:
Jeensha, You are so not alone. I have gotten myself in a very similar yet complicated situation. I am married with kids and I love my husband, but my soul mate is my gay neighbor. We act like a couple lot of the time, but to him its normal to be touchy feely that is just how he is. He helps take care of my kids, we snuggle together, hold hands,kiss& even sleep with each others clothes to feel close to each other. It started as just friends and then Idk but wow!! All that sappy love shit you hear in songs and see on tv I feel that for him and him for me, we say we have a tainted love I'm married and he's gay and that won't change. I do know that if you don't tell him how you feel it will eat you up, not knowing,but from my personal experience knowing is just as painful. So if you love him ask yourself could you live with the fact that he is gay but loves you, and all the things that you may want from him you may not get. For me it has been an emotional roller coaster it's the greatest feeling to be loved,soul connected to someone ,but knowing that I can never have him the way I want is the most painful thing I live with everyday. I totally see why you don't want these feelings ,but I believe everything happens for reason even if you don't know what it is yet. we talk about it from time to time and have agreed that knowing what we do is between us and not being together would be more painful than doing what we are doing. Hope this help.
Dani, thank u so much, im actually crying while reading ur msg. that's bull's eye! im in a painful stage right now. all i can think is I CANT AFFORD TO LOSE HIM! i just CANT! just thinking of it makes me wanna cry :'( but i dont want this feeling. im not expecting him to love me back the way i felt for him, coz i know from the start that he cant. but, IF he will love me? i will accept him. i swear i will, whatever it takes, even he has a boyfriend too. i mean, it will hurt i know, but i knew & love him like that, so i will accept whatever consequences i will face. but for now, i dont have any plans of telling him what i feel. not now or in the near future :'(
Alex

Valparaiso, IN

#3282 Oct 18, 2012
Wow Dani! You and I are in the same position.

Did you tell your friend your feelings for him? I have not told my friend how I feel about him. Even though we fall all over each other, I just feel like I would scare him away.

I would be completely devastated if he didn't talk to me again.

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#3284 Oct 19, 2012
Zelda wrote:
I have had so many gay men become infatuated with me that I'm getting tired of it. I could've had better relationships with these guys if they hadn't gone sexual with it. Some gay guys out there tell me about this phenomenon, because I've had gay guys getting infatuated with me since the age of 16 and then dumping me once they realize I'm still just a woman ... should I be flattered or angry?
You should change your clothes and wear make-up so you look like a girl.
Lateguy

Gatineau, Canada

#3286 Oct 21, 2012
This is really late.
So heres my little sciencey tought.
It's human nature to want to reproduce,
So gay people try to still get a wife to have kids while sexually preferring men and sleeping with them.
But that's just a tought.
Jeensha

Philippines

#3287 Oct 24, 2012
Alex wrote:
Wow Dani! You and I are in the same position.
Did you tell your friend your feelings for him? I have not told my friend how I feel about him. Even though we fall all over each other, I just feel like I would scare him away.
I would be completely devastated if he didn't talk to me again.
i dont want to tell him as well, same reason that he might dont wanna talk to me anymore. i rather suffer alone, than to lose him:(
Vance

United States

#3288 Oct 25, 2012
Bev I haven't heard from you in awhile how you been. I hope I hope everything is going great with you and your doctor friend. I miss writing you. are you still full figured and beautiful and smart.

Since: Apr 10

Location hidden

#3289 Oct 28, 2012
I think its a true thought. I know, i heard them ask and say it. I dont think there is anything wrong with it. Life is not perfect. BUt they have to be more mature in their stage in life i would think and willing to give up men for the most part at least.
Lateguy wrote:
This is really late.
So heres my little sciencey tought.
It's human nature to want to reproduce,
So gay people try to still get a wife to have kids while sexually preferring men and sleeping with them.
But that's just a tought.

Since: Apr 10

Location hidden

#3290 Oct 28, 2012
Vance
Hey how's it goin?? I wrote and i don't see so if you get this twice sorry. I have been great. No doctor for a while. Musician/inventor is back. I am taking my time now with this and not being so impatient. He has been drug free over ten years now. And we get along well. I will enjoy but not get too serious until i know he is really better than whenni knew him ten years ago. NOT perfect just in a better place.
I am still beautiful and smart thanks ha. but i would say i am medium figured not full. Trying to get back to lean figured. It happening slow it this age but happening. So how are you doing:? Whats new? No more VB player gf?
Vance wrote:
Bev I haven't heard from you in awhile how you been. I hope I hope everything is going great with you and your doctor friend. I miss writing you. are you still full figured and beautiful and smart.
Jeensha

Cebu City, Philippines

#3291 Oct 28, 2012
i love him, i love him so much & it hurts:'(
i decided to move on. i will let this feelings go. i know it will take a while, but i have to. i will let him go:(
unicorn

Istanbul, Turkey

#3292 Oct 29, 2012
I am not sure whether he was gay or not and this what I'd like to find out with your help if you can please... Otherwise I'll go crazy...

I had a really weird experience. I met this guy this summer at a holiday resort. We were very much in to each other. Great kiss and highly infatuated with each other. Did not have sex for days but then came the day. He is a great kisser and we made out but when it came to the actual stuff he could not keep his erection (although he was very much in to me). He blamed the 7 GT's he had and the allergy shots which was quite understandable.

Then I had to leave this resort and got back to where I live. We had 2 weeks of separation before he came back to the city too. We texted and talked on the phone, messaged on facebook like crazy. And he wrote to me that he was in love with me. I responded. I was in love with him too. Quite a few of the messages had sexual content too. I was convinced that as soon as he comes back to the city we would be jumping in to bed! We were in love like teenagers (!) and we both found it bizzare and nice at the same time.

Then he came back to the city. We had a great romantic dinner. I stayed over and lots of being together and making out but same thing happened and the same next day and the same the other day. He was having erection problems. He never looked gay or I never sensed it. He told me about his marriage and other past relationships with women... He was very manly when he took me in his arms and hold me, etc but without an erection!

He was always gentle, knew how to cuddle and touch and hug you. He told me that he was so much in love with me after so many years. He said he didn't walk this path for so long and even never before!

And anyway this went on like this for two months all together. One day out of the blue I received an email from him stating that his feelings have changed and he cannot see a future for us together and he wants to break up and he also wrote that I should not think that I could change his mind because he knew what he wanted and made his mind!

Well I wrote back that I was hurt and could not make any sense out of it. One day he says he loves me very much and the next day this. But nevertheless there was nothing to do but accept.

The next day he unfriended me on facebook and even blocked me!

Now can someone who has an idea of what this was about tell me something please!??
unicorn

Istanbul, Turkey

#3293 Oct 29, 2012
Oh also, he was very much concerned on what I was wearing, always making compliments when he liked and or criticizing gently when he did not. This is a nice bikini too but the other one was better kind of thing. Or oh this is a very elegant dress you are wearing, better then the rock 'n roll stuff you had the other day. Wilst passing by a shop window, he could spot a nice dress and show it to me saying it would suit me very well, etc... He was also paying too much attention to aesthetic details in everyting... Architecture, decorations, whatever...
vance

United States

#3294 Oct 30, 2012
bev0309 wrote:
Vance
Hey how's it goin?? I wrote and i don't see so if you get this twice sorry. I have been great. No doctor for a while. Musician/inventor is back. I am taking my time now with this and not being so impatient. He has been drug free over ten years now. And we get along well. I will enjoy but not get too serious until i know he is really better than whenni knew him ten years ago. NOT perfeooct just in a better place.
I am still beautiful and smart thanks ha. but i would say i am medium figured not full. Trying to get back to lean figured. It happening slow it this age but happening. So how are you doing:? Whats new? No more VB player gf?<quoted text>
bev it's good hearing from you.the volleyball player woman have moved on she was stange she was nice to people who she knew ment her nogood.but she was mean to me most of the time. I thought she would change but she never did. Im glad I dumped her sorry behind. Bev I can only wish I could find a girl like you who I can be proud of? I will one day. I hope when I dofind her I not to old to have a real loveafair.lol I miss you bev lol. I that lesbian woman thinks her body is power for some reason. I think god I got rid of them befor I got stuck with oneof them and their mean arogant ways. Are ustill singing?

Since: Apr 10

Location hidden

#3296 Oct 31, 2012
Vance
Yeah I know how you feel . I have had several recent and past dissapointing situations with men. It almost at times makes me wish i never divorced my ex. He gave me a secure and a adored feeling. I miss that. It means a lot to have it now i see . Now that i don't have it . Or with my ex fiancee for that matter. I date on the internet sometimes as i want to find a nice man but there are so many that are not. I just had this one man write me something so rediculous i blocked him and had to tell him how he is so off. He says " I think you are beautiful and so smart and nice but i don't know if i am ready to be mature enough and settle down for you, lets meet and see". I said no thanks. And i am not sitting home waiting for you to grow up. I am out there meeting my own immature men until the right one comes along. GET LOST What a thing to say. Those kind of things make me(even though i honestly had not much love for then, hence i am divorced and unengaged)miss my ex h and ex fiancee. I would rather be with a man who loves me and i am indifferent about him as we both are nice than deal with jerks who think too much of themselves to even have a grip on reality. I am a really good woman but i am HUMAN and until i find the right man . I will go out with wrong ones . I stick with one. The musician and i do not want to spread myself all over the place ha. and then i will be alone again. right now i am enjoying him wanting me. But i am ready to dump his "a" if he gets out of hand believe me.
Sometimes i think i was spoiled by two super kind wonderful men. Many women never get that .How could i have left that??I pray i find something like this again and now i will NEVER let him go. NO WAY, now that i know what it is really like out there. I did not know that when i met them Now i do. So sorry about your women and how they are too. I pray we both meet someone we deserve and enjoy to be around. Until then i enjoy myself. and continue to grow and learn new stuff. I am still singing yes. i cant stop i try to but my whole body(mind) wont let me, that sounds freaky ha. and the musician is teaching me good guitar for free( hes pretty good. I never thought so as he is such a jerk sometimes). Well there is always a price but i am ok with paying it right now as it doesnt feel like paying ha. Never mind. I cant believe i wrote that . I am enjoying the whole thing for the most part. I am sure at any moment that can change and i will find another guitar teacher thats all, that i will pay money for lessons only. I love writing so i will write you here. I tried to find a pen pal . So far i am not comfortable with the whole internet pen pal thing but maybe someday. Just like you are not ok getting a profile and writing me private here i guess. Ok talk soon but not too soon. Ihope you take a week to respond so i dont write on here too much ha
vance wrote:
<quoted text>bev it's good hearing from you.the volleyball player woman have moved on she was stange she was nice to people who she knew ment her nogood.but she was mean to me most of the time. I thought she would change but she never did. Im glad I dumped her sorry behind. Bev I can only wish I could find a girl like you who I can be proud of? I will one day. I hope when I dofind her I not to old to have a real loveafair.lol I miss you bev lol. I that lesbian woman thinks her body is power for some reason. I think god I got rid of them befor I got stuck with oneof them and their mean arogant ways. Are ustill singing?

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