Kansas Sperm Donor For Lesbian Couple...

Kansas Sperm Donor For Lesbian Couple Faces Child Support Suit From State

There are 54 comments on the Switched story from Dec 30, 2012, titled Kansas Sperm Donor For Lesbian Couple Faces Child Support Suit From State. In it, Switched reports that:

Kansas state officials are seeking child support from the sperm donor to a lesbian couple in exchange for the state providing the child's mother with financial aid.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Switched.

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#23 Dec 31, 2012
NoQ wrote:
No one wants these perverts to be around children, let alone raise them.
Wrong. Over 45 States approve of gays or lesbians adopting children.

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#24 Dec 31, 2012
barry wrote:
<quoted text>does he have visitation rights? she might be smart by not pursuing paternity support as it might give him an open door to pursue visitation rights.
THINK about what you just wrote.

Was it as painful as it should have been?

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#25 Dec 31, 2012
JohnInToronto wrote:
I'll bet they are mad because they don't want to pay welfare benefits to lesbians. In any case, this is really dumb. The man is the biologican father but should under no circumstances be considered the legal father.
I personally don't believe that people who cannot physically have children - including gays who do not already have custody of a child - should not be bringing more into the world. But reality being what it is, actions like this would certainly deter people from sperm or ovum donation and might lead to greater use of surrogacy, which is an even slipperier legal path.
I disagree. I know this might not be politically correct in some gay and lesbian homes but I feel every biological parent has a legal responsibility to the child they create.

Like I said I feel for this guy. Poor planning all around. But just because this couple are lesbians doesn't me they automatically get my support.

I'm impressed they have 8 children they are raising together even after breaking up. But taking on the responsibility of a child is an issue they should have been more careful about due to the legal aspects most gays and lesbians face anyway in this area..

“Where's my fairy wand!”

Since: Apr 08

Reading PA

#27 Dec 31, 2012
AzAdam wrote:
<quoted text>
I guess it works similarly to Arizona, but it's only a guess. If your married, the husband is the legal father without a court order to the contrary. If your a single woman, straight or gay, the sperm donor can be held responsible if the mother applies for state assistance.
Are donors told that upfront?

Do they have a choice as to who gets to use their donation?

If not, I don't see how they can be responsible.
barry

Fort Payne, AL

#28 Dec 31, 2012
DNF wrote:
<quoted text>THINK about what you just wrote.
Was it as painful as it should have been?
not really, we are foster parents and are very familiar with the state trying to recover support from dead beat parents as well as single parents whether it be from divorce or just outside of marriage who don't want the other spouse to have anything to do with the children. any good lawyer will tell you not to pursue support if you want to avoid a custody or visitation rights battle. however if you turn to the state for help they will want to know.
so since she didn't know why her relative was not receiving support or if she had pursued support i was suggesting that it might be a tactic to reduce the possibility of having to share the children with the father.

so maybe you're the one who should have thought it out or perhaps you're just lucky enough not to have to be familiar with these problems.
AzAdam

Lynchburg, VA

#29 Dec 31, 2012
barry wrote:
<quoted text>does he have visitation rights? she might be smart by not pursuing paternity support as it might give him an open door to pursue visitation rights.
The state pursues him. Her participation is not needed.
barry

Fort Payne, AL

#30 Dec 31, 2012
AzAdam wrote:
<quoted text>
The state pursues him. Her participation is not needed.
only if she is getting state aid. and she would have to identify him. so yes, her participation is needed.

“What Goes Around, Comes Around”

Since: Mar 07

Kansas City, MO.

#31 Dec 31, 2012
Rick in Kansas wrote:
Seriously hard way to learn what the law actually says. I wasn't aware that do it yourself AI nullified any agreements you might have had between the parties. He's stuck because there wasn't a doctor at the helm of that turkey baster. Ouch.
It being Kansas, of course they are going after the guy, there's no way on Earth that they would ever recognize a second parent of the same sex.
Yup. Go figure....Kansass.
SLIF

Brampton, Canada

#32 Dec 31, 2012
Bring back the nobel prize srerm bank.

“ reality, what a concept”

Since: Nov 07

this one

#33 Dec 31, 2012
DNF wrote:
<quoted text>I disagree. I know this might not be politically correct in some gay and lesbian homes but I feel every biological parent has a legal responsibility to the child they create.
Like I said I feel for this guy. Poor planning all around. But just because this couple are lesbians doesn't me they automatically get my support.
I'm impressed they have 8 children they are raising together even after breaking up. But taking on the responsibility of a child is an issue they should have been more careful about due to the legal aspects most gays and lesbians face anyway in this area..
Donors are allowed to surrender both the rights and responsibilities of parenthood for their donations. For opposite sex married couples, this allows the non-biological party to become the parent with all the rights and responsibilities thereof, for non-married opposite sex couples and same sex couples who have squat in the way of rights as a couple, it allows for messes like this.

The real lesson from this is, while the turkey baster method of reproduction is safe, easy, effective and considerably less expensive than the alternatives, it may not be the best suited to your situation. Until our relationships have full legal equality, expect the law to hand you the sh*tty end of the stick.

“Together for 24, legal for 5”

Since: Sep 07

Littleton, NH

#35 Dec 31, 2012
KirkW wrote:
Would he be taking this same action if it were a straight couple who had used a sperm bank because the male was infertile?
Of course not. In the case of a straight couple, the partner who contributed nothing to the child's conception would be considered a parent as a matter of law. So they could go after him.

[Logically, it seems unlikely that maternity would ever be contested.]
coupon gal 44556

Titusville, FL

#37 Dec 31, 2012
www.extremecouponing.me
grocery coupons, target coupons and more

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#38 Jan 1, 2013
barry wrote:
<quoted text>not really, we are foster parents and are very familiar with the state trying to recover support from dead beat parents as well as single parents whether it be from divorce or just outside of marriage who don't want the other spouse to have anything to do with the children. any good lawyer will tell you not to pursue support if you want to avoid a custody or visitation rights battle. however if you turn to the state for help they will want to know.
so since she didn't know why her relative was not receiving support or if she had pursued support i was suggesting that it might be a tactic to reduce the possibility of having to share the children with the father.
so maybe you're the one who should have thought it out or perhaps you're just lucky enough not to have to be familiar with these problems.
It is my niece herself who chose not to pursue paternity. I think her "reasons" are crazy. The boy knows who his father is. The father knows the boy is his. They have contact so it isn't an issue of visitation.

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#39 Jan 1, 2013
barry wrote:
<quoted text>not really, we are foster parents and are very familiar with the state trying to recover support from dead beat parents as well as single parents whether it be from divorce or just outside of marriage who don't want the other spouse to have anything to do with the children. any good lawyer will tell you not to pursue support if you want to avoid a custody or visitation rights battle. however if you turn to the state for help they will want to know.
so since she didn't know why her relative was not receiving support or if she had pursued support i was suggesting that it might be a tactic to reduce the possibility of having to share the children with the father.
so maybe you're the one who should have thought it out or perhaps you're just lucky enough not to have to be familiar with these problems.
I apologize for getting off on the wrong foot with you. And I'm glad you aren't facing many of these problems. Part of the reason may be due to the fact you are foster parents. You wouldn't be included in many of these issues because you aren't biologically related to the children, so many of these issues wouldn't affect you until you adopted one of the children.

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#40 Jan 1, 2013
barry wrote:
<quoted text>only if she is getting state aid. and she would have to identify him. so yes, her participation is needed.
That is why this became an issue again for her, her son and the boy's father.

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#41 Jan 1, 2013
NoQ wrote:
<quoted text>
If that be the case, then why do you HO:MOS constantly whine about not being able to????
D'uh gee maybe because the laws in those other states don't treat our relationships the same way they treat heterosexual ones, even if we are doing all the same things a heterosexual couple would do in raising a child.

“ reality, what a concept”

Since: Nov 07

this one

#42 Jan 1, 2013
Imprtnrd wrote:
Yup. Go figure....Kansass.
In this case, I think the opportunity to be a right ass and enforce the letter of the law popped up and the bureaucracy ran with it. from what I've read, this is a technicality that can be whipped out on pretty much any couple if they wanted to. Most states have been making the law up in this area as they've run into problems, so they are all over the place as to the legality of such arrangements. There is the unofficial Uniform Parentage Act, which most states have included all or part of in addition to their own ideas and it requires that assisted reproduction have medical assistance in order to avoid fraud. This makes do-it-yourself assisted baby making a potential hand grenade when it comes to your dealings with the state.
barry

Fort Payne, AL

#43 Jan 1, 2013
DNF wrote:
<quoted text>I apologize for getting off on the wrong foot with you. And I'm glad you aren't facing many of these problems. Part of the reason may be due to the fact you are foster parents. You wouldn't be included in many of these issues because you aren't biologically related to the children, so many of these issues wouldn't affect you until you adopted one of the children.
you're right. i just was offering a common reason that a mother or custodial parent was not seeking support from the other/father. we know of another mother who claims and probably was raped and when it came time to deliver the baby told the hospital that she didn't know who the father was. she did not want him to have the opportunity to trace down the child and try to get custody or visitation rights even though she could have used the state to receive support payments from him.

now as foster parents we don't have these issues but we are aware of the issues these kids face and some times it is very sad, very ugly and just down right disgusting.

so whatever your neice's reasons are i'm sure they are well thought out and i'm glad that at least there seams to be an amicable relationship with the father.

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#44 Jan 1, 2013
barry wrote:
<quoted text>.....
so whatever your neice's reasons are i'm sure they are well thought out and i'm glad that at least there seams to be an amicable relationship with the father.
thanks but I wish I could agree. You haven't met this niece. Not trying to be nasty but IMO the girl isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. She takes after her mother more than she admits.
barry

Fort Payne, AL

#45 Jan 1, 2013
DNF wrote:
<quoted text>thanks but I wish I could agree. You haven't met this niece. Not trying to be nasty but IMO the girl isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. She takes after her mother more than she admits.
ok, that's interesting, i guess i'll stick to the issues of my own family. hope it all works out for the best.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Gay/Lesbian Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Maybe god is gay! (Dec '09) 7 min June VanDerMark 10,673
News Columbus veteran, ousted for sexual orientation... 1 hr Gay Peace on Earth 7
News Private Christian university loses appeal at On... 1 hr Gay Peace on Earth 1
News Sanders: Don't blame Islam for Orlando shooting 2 hr ilovedesigirls 885
News 'Free Kim Davis': This is just what gay rights ... (Sep '15) 5 hr River Tam 13,149
News Public nudity ban eyed in San Fran (Nov '12) 5 hr smallballs 79
News Lawsuit Over Public Urinal 6 hr smallballs 7
News Colo. gay discrimination alleged over wedding cake (Jun '13) 8 hr EdmondWA 37,378
News Obama: Notion that being armed would have saved... 12 hr WasteWater 975
More from around the web