Maybe Ross Douthat Should Think More About What’s Wrong With Marriage

Apr 1, 2013 | Posted by: Sei | Full story: lezgetreal.com

(Editorial) Marriage equality is not leading to the decline of marriage, as Ross Douthat seems to think. Rather marriage is suffering for a lot of reasons
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1 - 5 of 5 Comments Last updated Apr 1, 2013

“Equality First”

Since: Jan 09

St. Louis, MO

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#1
Apr 1, 2013
 
Ms. LaVictoire states in the article, "Marriage is declining for a number of intersecting reasons". She then goes on to discuss only one, as if it is the one and only reason. That being the equality of women. While I concede that is is an elemental reason for the waning of marriage itself, I would have liked for her to discuss the "number of intersecting reasons" she claims, if only to name them so that we know she is aware of those reasons.

Sei

Since: Nov 08

Rutland, VT

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#2
Apr 1, 2013
 
RalphB wrote:
Ms. LaVictoire states in the article, "Marriage is declining for a number of intersecting reasons". She then goes on to discuss only one, as if it is the one and only reason. That being the equality of women. While I concede that is is an elemental reason for the waning of marriage itself, I would have liked for her to discuss the "number of intersecting reasons" she claims, if only to name them so that we know she is aware of those reasons.
Actually, Ralph, I did. I just didn't number them-

Women are being expected to work both inside and outside the house.
Women are still being expected to have fairy tale marriages
Women are expected to have perfect husbands
Women are expected to raise children
Men are expected to be the bread winners
Men are considered to not be men if they stay home to raise the family
Men are not expected to get married
Men are expected to have lots of lovers
Men are not taught how to be actual husbands
Men are reduced to being a paycheck

Those were some of the intersecting reasons. The situation is incredibly, incredibly complex. However, another way to enumerate the reasons could be-

Misplaced expectations
lack of a living wage

I hope that this explains it. I'm not always good at explaining things.

However, I think ultimately the biggest problem is how we define marriage, and I don't mean regarding gender. The problem is, no one seems to be really discussing any of this.

“Equality First”

Since: Jan 09

St. Louis, MO

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#3
Apr 1, 2013
 
Sei wrote:
<quoted text>
Actually, Ralph, I did. I just didn't number them-
Women are being expected to work both inside and outside the house.
Women are still being expected to have fairy tale marriages
Women are expected to have perfect husbands
Women are expected to raise children
Men are expected to be the bread winners
Men are considered to not be men if they stay home to raise the family
Men are not expected to get married
Men are expected to have lots of lovers
Men are not taught how to be actual husbands
Men are reduced to being a paycheck
Those were some of the intersecting reasons. The situation is incredibly, incredibly complex. However, another way to enumerate the reasons could be-
Misplaced expectations
lack of a living wage
I hope that this explains it. I'm not always good at explaining things.
However, I think ultimately the biggest problem is how we define marriage, and I don't mean regarding gender. The problem is, no one seems to be really discussing any of this.
Those are all offshoots of the original proposition of equality for women (and men). I haven't given it a lot of thought, but I was looking for other reasons in addition to that one.

“Equality First”

Since: Jan 09

St. Louis, MO

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#4
Apr 1, 2013
 
Sei wrote:
<quoted text>
Actually, Ralph, I did. I just didn't number them-
Women are being expected to work both inside and outside the house.
Women are still being expected to have fairy tale marriages
Women are expected to have perfect husbands
Women are expected to raise children
Men are expected to be the bread winners
Men are considered to not be men if they stay home to raise the family
Men are not expected to get married
Men are expected to have lots of lovers
Men are not taught how to be actual husbands
Men are reduced to being a paycheck
Those were some of the intersecting reasons. The situation is incredibly, incredibly complex. However, another way to enumerate the reasons could be-
Misplaced expectations
lack of a living wage
I hope that this explains it. I'm not always good at explaining things.
However, I think ultimately the biggest problem is how we define marriage, and I don't mean regarding gender. The problem is, no one seems to be really discussing any of this.
Didn't read that properly. You did indeed give me two more reasons, i.e. Expectations and Living Wage. Of course I suppose I was a little to nit-picky in the first place. Sorry.

Sei

Since: Nov 08

Rutland, VT

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#5
Apr 1, 2013
 
RalphB wrote:
<quoted text>
Didn't read that properly. You did indeed give me two more reasons, i.e. Expectations and Living Wage. Of course I suppose I was a little to nit-picky in the first place. Sorry.
It's ok. Sometimes I'll say something in one spot and end up off target by the time I get to the rest of what I say. Perhaps interrelated would have been a better word.

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