Straight Dope: Should I Let My (Maybe) Gay Teenage Son Have Sleepovers With Boys?

Feb 13, 2013 Full story: City Paper 56

I'm a 37-year-old single father with a 14-year-old son. I've raised him on my own basically since birth, with help from some good friends and nearby family.

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Secret

Anchorage, AK

#1 Feb 13, 2013
Depends on who, does the kid he wants to sleepover with have a bad rep or something like that?
Secret

Anchorage, AK

#3 Feb 13, 2013
I live in alaska like you, are you guys on JBER?
Go fish

United States

#4 Feb 13, 2013
Of course wouldnt you rather he be safe at home?? Hes going to do whatever hes going to do anyway

“ WOOF ! ”

Since: Nov 12

Coolidge, AZ

#5 Feb 13, 2013
Well I say yes.

I remember my parents ALWAYS said that if I ever brought a romantic partner to the house to sleep over, such as for teh Christmas holiday or other holidays or such, they made it CRYSTAL CLEAR, that we were to sleep in SEPARATE BEDS.

In 1980, over the Independence Day holiday, I showed up unexepectedly with my boyfriend, whom they had never met, having driven 600 miles from Huntington, WV where I was attending college, to Huntington, NY where my parents lived (it is an odd coincidence that the WV city & teh NY town have exactly the same name. I didn't choose Marshall University for that reason at all).

When evening came, and I asked my parents where me and my boyfriend were to sleep for teh few days we were gong to be there, I was fully expecting them to give us separate rooms.

Much to my surprise, their words engraved in my mind, they said "You 2 guys use the convertable in teh den." They didn't make an issue of it all.

A few years later, our apartment, in a very large apartment complex, was damaged so severely by the landlord's negligence, that a Suffolk County building inspector inspected it, and forbade anyone from inhabiting it until the unsafe conditions were repaired. If this had happned to us in the place we were living in in West Virginia, I don't know WHAT we would have done.

Fortunately my parents were only 17 miles northwest, and allowed us to live in their home for the 10 days it took to have teh apartment repaired.

Once again, they allowed us to sleep together, and although we had sex frequently while there, we kept it quiet, and my parents never said a word about it.

I think that if I had asked them before they ever met my boyfriend if I coulf have someone over and have gay sex in their house, they would have vehemently forbade it, and would say teh question is ridiculous. But after meeting my boyfriend, tey fell in love wit him and not only treated him as a member of teh family, but they treated him BETTER than his own family did.

And not only that, my brother, my sisters, and ALL my aunts, uncles, and cousins treated him as family.

That's something I didn't expect at the time.

So, I would say let your son have a friend, or friends sleep over, and if he IS gay, I hope he was raised to be discreet when it comes to sex in the house.

(I would say I was raised in a fairly Puritanical home when I was a teenager. And before I came out, at the old age of 23 years, homosexuality was NEVER discussed nor mentioned in my house. In fact, after I came out to my parents, they simply didn't believe it (I am, and always have been very butch just because it's my nature), and I think what finally convinced them that I am in fact gay, was bringing my boyfriend home on the particular Fourt Of July).

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#6 Feb 13, 2013
That was a VERY good article. Better than I expected from "savage".
Harold

Wilmington, DE

#7 Feb 13, 2013
Should I Let My (Maybe) Gay Teenage Son Have Sleepovers With Boys?

I'd like to punch this queer right in the face!
The Worlds Biggest Lie

Dalton, MA

#8 Feb 13, 2013
Get the lad a naked high end call girl and lock him in the room with her for about 4 hours. That'll fix his little wagon.
David Traversa

Buenos Aires, Argentina

#9 Feb 13, 2013
The Worlds Biggest Lie wrote:
Get the lad a naked high end call girl and lock him in the room with her for about 4 hours. That'll fix his little wagon.
I knew you were an idiot but find it hard to believe you're so idiotically naive also.. Dropped on your head..?
Quest

Drakes Branch, VA

#10 Feb 14, 2013
The Worlds Biggest Lie wrote:
Get the lad a naked high end call girl and lock him in the room with her for about 4 hours. That'll fix his little wagon.
In the same way that locking you ion a room with a gay male prostitute would turn you gay?

Nice to know your sexuality is so fluid.

That's not true for most of the population, though.

Since: Mar 07

The entire US of A

#11 Feb 14, 2013
The best way to handle such situations is with the same common sense, the same humor, and the same watchful eye that you would apply if your son was not gay.

Did you raise him to be polite, sensible, and caring? Did you raise him to be careful with other folks feelings, and think of other folks happiness? Can he think for himself? Can he think ahead?

Then, he will likely be fine in whatever situation he finds himself in.

“Headed toward the cliff”

Since: Nov 07

Tawas City, Michigan

#12 Feb 14, 2013
The Worlds Biggest Lie wrote:
Get the lad a naked high end call girl and lock him in the room with her for about 4 hours. That'll fix his little wagon.
It obviously didn't work with you......

“What Goes Around, Comes Around”

Since: Mar 07

Kansas City, MO.

#14 Feb 14, 2013
WeTheSheeple wrote:
<quoted text>
It obviously didn't work with you......
ain't that the truth!
SLIF

Georgetown, Canada

#15 Feb 14, 2013
The Worlds Biggest Lie wrote:
Get the lad a naked high end call girl and lock him in the room with her for about 4 hours. That'll fix his little wagon.
Were you conceived that way?
Concerned

Dalton, MA

#16 Feb 14, 2013
Quest wrote:
<quoted text>
In the same way that locking you ion a room with a gay male prostitute would turn you gay?
Nice to know your sexuality is so fluid.
That's not true for most of the population, though.
Once again a statement without proof.
keith60610

Whitinsville, MA

#19 Feb 14, 2013
Pierre wrote:
<quoted text>
You forgot one important thing. DID HE RAISE HIM TO NOT LET A MAN TAKE HIM UP THE BUTT?
Sexuality has nothing to do with how you're raised, Moron..
The Kisser

Dalton, MA

#20 Feb 14, 2013
keith60610 wrote:
<quoted text>
Sexuality has nothing to do with how you're raised, Moron..


No, but how your raised may have something to do with your sexuality.

“ WOOF ! ”

Since: Nov 12

Coolidge, AZ

#21 Feb 14, 2013
The Kisser wrote:
<quoted text>
No, but how your raised may have something to do with your sexuality.
A person's sexual orientation is hard-wired in the brain and fixed at birth. It cannot be changed any more than one's eye color or chirality can be changed.
The Kisser

Dalton, MA

#22 Feb 14, 2013
Links FaFoxy. Facts. Not assertions. There are many in this world that engage in homosexual/bisexual acts that do not identify as gay.
Some would argue that gay is more of a tendency than anything. Some women in the porn industry state this fact that they are 'less inclined' to be involved with a woman. Therefore they have a less 'tendency' to sleep with a woman and act not upon said tendencies. So even if you are born with such a tendency does not make it right, natural, or normal because nature in the human form tells us that it is a defect.
Free will. Vice. Desires. Passions. Frailties.
Nobody's perfect but it doesn't hurt to honor your own father and mother's original intentions.
The regressive liberal party promotes failure and expects others to pay for it. This can only go on for so long FaFoxy. The breaking point is near.
The Kisser

Dalton, MA

#23 Feb 14, 2013
Somewhere near the equivilant to sleeping with your sister.
CHA-CHING!

“Headed toward the cliff”

Since: Nov 07

Tawas City, Michigan

#24 Feb 14, 2013
The Kisser wrote:
Somewhere near the equivilant to sleeping with your sister.
CHA-CHING!
Only if your sister has 10" swinging down low......

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