Open Forum: Do We Have a "Gay Lifestyle?"

Oct 31, 2008 | Posted by: queerunity | Full story: queersunited.blogspot.com

LGBTQ people are quick to be on the defensive when someone invokes the word "lifestyle" with regards to LGBTQ lives. However, do some people actually live a "gay lifestyle?"

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“Equality under the law for All”

Since: Jun 08

Fontana, CA

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#1
Oct 31, 2008
 
If I had the money and transportation I would live the sterotypical gay lifestyle as it does seem like a lot of fun, but hey I don't and none of the other GLBT people I know do either.

Do you know anyone who lives this sterotypical gay lifestyle? Anyone?

Virginia Rae
nina

Canada

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#2
Nov 1, 2008
 
no, there is no such thing as a "gay lifestyle"

first, because there's more than one way to live as a gay person

second,a and more importantly a lifestyle is something you choose

like being a vegetarian, following the Grateful Dead (ie being a deadhead)

how I choose to live my life is not gay

I am a gay person living a rather middle class suburban lifestyle

“Equality under the law for All”

Since: Jun 08

Fontana, CA

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#3
Nov 1, 2008
 
I agree, and I'm a disabled woman living on a very limited income lifestyle and that has nothing to do with my being bisexual. So you might understand why I was just thinking about the sterotype and how it sounded better than the lifestyle I'm living right now, that's all.
nina wrote:
no, there is no such thing as a "gay lifestyle"
first, because there's more than one way to live as a gay person
second, and more importantly a lifestyle is something you choose
like being a vegetarian, following the Grateful Dead (ie being a deadhead)
how I choose to live my life is not gay
I am a gay person living a rather middle class suburban lifestyle
Peter

United States

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#4
Nov 1, 2008
 

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Many successful or lucky or trust funded gay people do live what may be called a 'gay lifestyle'

They buy the best of everything, eat out at the best restaurants, take extravagant vacations, have beautiful homes with the best fine furnishings and drink good wine and spirits- which is really not much different then most well of straight people.

Gay or straight people have to worry about becoming too haughty, self important or pretentious with their good luck. Sadly many gay people can become extremely judgmental of other gay men or Lesbians who have not been as fortunate. This is one of the major problems in the Gay and Lesbian community- economic discrimination. Gay people because most do not have children have less economic burdens and can be more self indulgent on themselves.

There are many Gay people who struggle with everyday life however- like the rest of the population.

“God made in the image of man”

Since: May 07

Sausalito, CA

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#5
Nov 1, 2008
 

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The problem with the word 'lifestyle' is that it is applied almost exclusively to gay people. If it indeed refers to our reading gay publications, dining at gay restaurants, or associating with other gay people -- these are characteristics of anyone belonging to a particular cultural minority. Then there should also be references to, say, people in San Francisco who live a 'Chinese lifestyle' or others who live an 'hispanic lifestyle'. But we never hear that, do we? That's what makes it a disparaging term, used to imply that homosexuality is a frivolous behavioral choice, rather than a physiological reality.

“Trolls, the canker sores of”

Since: Jul 07

the internet.

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#6
Nov 1, 2008
 

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I live a working poor lifestyle. There are thousands of us out there. We are living from paycheck to paycheck.
I work, pay my bills, take care of my partner, our cats and dog.

“We're here! ”

Since: Apr 07

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#7
Nov 1, 2008
 

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Peter wrote:
Many successful or lucky or trust funded gay people do live what may be called a 'gay lifestyle'
They buy the best of everything, eat out at the best restaurants, take extravagant vacations, have beautiful homes with the best fine furnishings and drink good wine and spirits- which is really not much different then most well of straight people.
I'm not trying to be obstinate, but, can we say then that straight people who live that type of "lifestyle" are living the "gay lifestyle"?

Since: Jul 07

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#8
Nov 1, 2008
 

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Gryph wrote:
I live a working poor lifestyle. There are thousands of us out there. We are living from paycheck to paycheck.
I work, pay my bills, take care of my partner, our cats and dog.
Ditto. Does that make me a lesbian?
*smooch?*

“Just call me Das. ”

Since: Jul 07

Parsippany, NJ

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#9
Nov 1, 2008
 

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Urban camping, here. No money, sixth floor walk-up, do my laundry in the bathtub, haul in supplies from Manhattan.

No, I don't see many others doing that.

“Just call me Das. ”

Since: Jul 07

Parsippany, NJ

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#10
Nov 1, 2008
 
Mark in Caledonia MI wrote:
<quoted text>I'm not trying to be obstinate, but, can we say then that straight people who live that type of "lifestyle" are living the "gay lifestyle"?
I think so. "Gay" does mean "carefree," as well as other things.

“Fight bigotry.”

Since: Feb 07

Toms River, NJ

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#11
Nov 1, 2008
 

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What amazes me is that the anti-gay crowd uses the term "gay lifestyle", completely dismissing the simple fact that lifestyles are primarily based on economics, not sexual orientation. I live a relatively middle-class existence, suburban townhouse, two cars (admittedly a luxury, though one of them is a ten year old backup for when my main car is in the shop, and will soon be sold).
The "gay lifestyle" isn't a lifestyle at all, it's just a canard for those who want to lump all gay people, fallaciously, into a single group that can be discriminated against.

“Trolls, the canker sores of”

Since: Jul 07

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#12
Nov 1, 2008
 

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Mnmboi wrote:
<quoted text>
Ditto. Does that make me a lesbian?
*smooch?*
Honorary at best little bro.*my girl and I both chuckling*
Ralph

United States

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#13
Nov 1, 2008
 

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My spouse and I have been lucky. We are not rich, but well-off enough. We both had good-paying jobs. I retired with a sizeable portfolio, a generous pension and social security. He will retire with a very much larger portfolio and social security. We worked, saved, had no children, and paid cash for everything we bought, including the condo. We "spread the wealth" to gay causes across the country. We have it in our budget, and send it out on a quarterly basis, or as needs dictate. We live a simple suburban lifestyle, and vacation once a year in England or MA or FL. Please don't mis-understand me here. I am not trying to brag, just relating our circumstances. I have read the forgoingposts, and it occurs to me that the majority of those living in less than the best of circumstances here are women. I suppose this reflects our society at large. My spouse and I adjusted our donations last year to include womens' issues, as well as the issues of gays. When we die we have directed that everything except very personal objects be sold. The money is be distributed to gay and womens causes. Our families are well able to provide for themselves.

“ TRUTH : NOT EXPEDIENCE”

Since: Nov 07

town near Jax, Fl

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#14
Nov 1, 2008
 

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Does 'heterosexual' include wife swopping, three somes, orgies, sex clubs, and on and on? How DO you define "heterosexual lifestyle"?

“A T-Girl in Progress”

Since: Dec 07

St. Cloud, Florida

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#15
Nov 1, 2008
 
Catholic created gay wrote:
Does 'heterosexual' include wife swapping, three somes, orgies, sex clubs, and on and on? How DO you define "heterosexual lifestyle"?
i would call that a PROMISCUOUS lifestyle. And it isn't unique to any sexual orientation.

But it might be fair to say - from what i've sen anyway - that a "gay lifestyle" is a promiscuous one. Maybe it's just the community I live in (very gay neighborhood), but casual sex with multiple partners is very common here, and very open. No one really tries to hide it.

Last night (Halloween) was a major party around here! It was definitely a majorly gay, majorly promiscuous occasion.

Can't wait for the next one,
Shay

“Son of Abraham”

Since: Aug 07

Natural Deviant

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#16
Nov 1, 2008
 

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I live a gay lifestyle. But I also live a 37 year old brown hair hazel eyes five feet eleven inches, and a half, born and raised a redneck likes thai food digs music takes pictures loves the beach lived in nyc and wakes up every morning male lifestyle. In other words, we all live some style of life.

“Equality under the law for All”

Since: Jun 08

Fontana, CA

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#17
Nov 1, 2008
 
Thank you both for all you do.

Um, would you like to adopt me???

Virginia Rae
.
Ralph wrote:
My spouse and I have been lucky. We are not rich, but well-off enough. We both had good-paying jobs. I retired with a sizeable portfolio, a generous pension and social security. He will retire with a very much larger portfolio and social security. We worked, saved, had no children, and paid cash for everything we bought, including the condo. We "spread the wealth" to gay causes across the country. We have it in our budget, and send it out on a quarterly basis, or as needs dictate. We live a simple suburban lifestyle, and vacation once a year in England or MA or FL. Please don't mis-understand me here. I am not trying to brag, just relating our circumstances. I have read the forgoingposts, and it occurs to me that the majority of those living in less than the best of circumstances here are women. I suppose this reflects our society at large. My spouse and I adjusted our donations last year to include womens' issues, as well as the issues of gays. When we die we have directed that everything except very personal objects be sold. The money is be distributed to gay and womens causes. Our families are well able to provide for themselves.

“Equality for all!”

Since: Jul 08

Bedford, Texas

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#18
Nov 1, 2008
 

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Here at college, I've met several gay people who only tell me they're gay after I told them I am because they "don't live the gay lifestyle." They do the same things as I do, class, eat, sleep, yet somehow, because I am out to everyone, I live the gay lifestyle. That can be the only thing that makes me live the lifestyle, in their eyes. And, according to my gay AND straight friends, I am not stereotypically gay...

Social conservatives are doing well in their fight to make gays feel bad about themselves.

“Equality under the law for All”

Since: Jun 08

Fontana, CA

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#19
Nov 1, 2008
 
Yes, promiscuous is a lifestyle that doesn't have any one sexual orientation connected to it. Though it's the thing that bigots think a gay lifestyle is and they're as wrong as you are.

You sound like you live in an area that has more young adults than older ones like the apartment complex I live in. It's the age of the people you live around that could be the critical factor in they're being more sexually active than people like myself.

Just don't assume it's a gay lifestyle when the term promiscuous lifestyle fits best. I make this suggestion as anyone sexual orientation isnít a lifestyle, because one chooses oneís lifestyle but they canít choose their sexual orientation.

Virginia Rae
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Coy Boy wrote:
<quoted text>I would call that a PROMISCUOUS lifestyle. And it isn't unique to any sexual orientation.
But it might be fair to say - from what I've seen anyway - that a "gay lifestyle" is a promiscuous one. Maybe it's just the community I live in (very gay neighborhood), but casual sex with multiple partners is very common here, and very open. No one really tries to hide it.
Last night (Halloween) was a major party around here! It was definitely a majorly gay, majorly promiscuous occasion.
Can't wait for the next one,
Shay
Dave

United States

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#20
Nov 1, 2008
 

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There is no gay lifestyle. The heterosexual dictatorship tries to define gay people to gain control and power over gay people. Whatever the current belief about gay identity is it is not gay, it is largely a heterosexual construct based on heterosexual mythology. Hopefully one day gay people will break free from heterosexual oppressors and be 100% liberated from oppressive and wrong heterosexual ideas.

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