Senior Gay and lesbian life

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Jan Whitacre

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#1
Aug 25, 2010
 

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I'm finding it difficult to attract and keep new relationships. I still look good, but it's obvious I'm no spring chicken anymore. I would like to hear how others are coping with this. Are we destined to spend our late in life years emotionally and physically celebit?
Jan Whitacre

Mountain View, CA

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#2
Aug 26, 2010
 

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Texas acceptability of a gay lesbian lifestyle is different than California, especially different than San Franciso. In Texas violence is more prevelent. This is changing, but slowly. Older gays and lesbians have are reluctant to come out though because of this. It makes new partner slections very difficult.

“I'm not gay, I'm celisexual!”

Since: Jul 10

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#3
Aug 27, 2010
 

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Jan Whitacre wrote:
I'm finding it difficult to attract and keep new relationships. I still look good, but it's obvious I'm no spring chicken anymore. I would like to hear how others are coping with this. Are we destined to spend our late in life years emotionally and physically celebit?
Unfortunately, the male gay community is not very supportive or appreciative of older gay men. Are you dating men in your own age group?

“I'm not gay, I'm celisexual!”

Since: Jul 10

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#4
Aug 27, 2010
 

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Jan Whitacre wrote:
I'm finding it difficult to attract and keep new relationships. I still look good, but it's obvious I'm no spring chicken anymore. I would like to hear how others are coping with this. Are we destined to spend our late in life years emotionally and physically celebit?
Sorry, but are you male or female? I assumed you were male because your complaint is common among gay men but I haven't heard it from women so much. Your name, however, is Jan.
Rainbow Kid

Alpharetta, GA

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#5
Aug 27, 2010
 

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Jan Whitacre wrote:
Texas acceptability of a gay lesbian lifestyle is different than California, especially different than San Franciso. In Texas violence is more prevelent. This is changing, but slowly. Older gays and lesbians have are reluctant to come out though because of this. It makes new partner slections very difficult.
Sugarbooger; do you have any notion in the ocean where the heck you are?
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Your IP says you're in San Francisco, and you think you're in Texas
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All together now; can we say "alzheimers"
His Own

Wilmington, OH

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#6
Aug 28, 2010
 

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Jan Whitacre wrote:
I'm finding it difficult to attract and keep new relationships. I still look good, but it's obvious I'm no spring chicken anymore. I would like to hear how others are coping with this. Are we destined to spend our late in life years emotionally and physically celebit?
That is a draw back to being gay. The lifestyle is full of vanity and shallow thinking. Lust is the buzz among the bees and if you have dried up and lost your honey....no one cares. They want that lustful feeling to continue and it is not about the person, but about the vanity. Welcome to the gay world as it is. Sex and more sex because the lust has a mind of its own.
His Own

Wilmington, OH

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#7
Aug 28, 2010
 

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The Virgin Queen1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Unfortunately, the male gay community is not very supportive or appreciative of older gay men. Are you dating men in your own age group?
Virgin..."Unfortunately "? are you not a "Christian"? And shall we give advice to a person on the best way to fulfill their sinful behavior? You muze me!
Dr Licole

United States

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#8
Aug 29, 2010
 

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His Own wrote:
<quoted text>That is a draw back to being gay. The lifestyle is full of vanity and shallow thinking. Lust is the buzz among the bees and if you have dried up and lost your honey....no one cares. They want that lustful feeling to continue and it is not about the person, but about the vanity. Welcome to the gay world as it is. Sex and more sex because the lust has a mind of its own.
piffle

“I'm not gay, I'm celisexual!”

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#9
Aug 29, 2010
 

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His Own wrote:
<quoted text>Virgin..."Unfortu nately"? are you not a "Christian"? And shall we give advice to a person on the best way to fulfill their sinful behavior? You muze me!
I didn't get the impression the OP was asking for religious advice.

“I'm not gay, I'm celisexual!”

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#10
Aug 29, 2010
 

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Dr Licole wrote:
<quoted text>piffle
ROFLMAO!! You are the perfect example of how sad gay old age is.
His Own

Wilmington, OH

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#11
Aug 30, 2010
 

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The Virgin Queen1 wrote:
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ROFLMAO!! You are the perfect example of how sad gay old age is.
Virgin...We know that old age is a wonderful thing. I guess it is like any other stage.... has its up and down moments.
Dr Licole

United States

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#12
Aug 31, 2010
 

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The Virgin Queen1 wrote:
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ROFLMAO!! You are the perfect example of how sad gay old age is.
"gay old age?"

Is that more fundie talk?

“I'm not gay, I'm celisexual!”

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Aug 31, 2010
 

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His Own wrote:
<quoted text>Virgin...We know that old age is a wonderful thing. I guess it is like any other stage.... has its up and down moments.
Honey, I have yet to "know" anything about old age. But I was talking about old age in general. I was talking about old age as it affects bitter, washed up queens.

“I'm not gay, I'm celisexual!”

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#14
Aug 31, 2010
 

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wasn't.
His Own

Wilmington, OH

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Aug 31, 2010
 

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The Virgin Queen1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Honey, I have yet to "know" anything about old age. But I was talking about old age in general. I was talking about old age as it affects bitter, washed up queens.
Virgin, the vanity of life affects not only "washed up queens", but also washed up heterosexuals as well.
Emily

Oakland, CA

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#16
Sep 15, 2011
 

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Poo Poo trash talk. Being gay or lesbian is sad when you get old. It's also sad when your an adolescent. the best stage of life for being gay is in the spring of 20-40 years. In the beginning there is lonliness and no hope and in the end there is lonliness and no hope. anyone who ssays otherwise is either forgetful or unrealistic. The gay life is hard. even during the spring years, the gay life is just day to day, temporary. in the back of your mind is the awful truth that your not normal. not like everyone else. the longer you put this truth off, the longer you just deceive yourself. when I finally realized and accepted this, I found happiness in celibacy.
Traci

Mountain View, CA

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#17
Aug 28, 2012
 

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we are all self deceivers. we live in our yesterdays and wannabes cause this is just the way our memorys works. gay, lebian, tri-tips, all have problems getting older cause were not getting hit on anymore and are memory longs for them few good times we had when we was younger. we want hot sex, we even creave hot sex even more but just can't get it together. so we get lonlier and sader thinking about it all the time. I just want someone to hold me now. someone to laugh with and tease. I want to travel and hold hands and stare in eyes that stare back. I want some romance not just the hot sex now altho I want the hot sex to. my nauty bits are more sensitive since I got to be 50. I want someone to make my bits and pieces feel good even more. but no one wants a washup. I'm still kinda pretty but have wrinkels and celluite to. I prefer the dark instead of the light so my defects arent so clear. my world is fantasy now. being old sucks and no one wants to suck or lick me again. so I relate to jan whitacre. I hope she finds some peace.
Glinda

Mountain View, CA

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#18
Aug 28, 2012
 

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Listen to me dear ... when your honey hole dries up and your pubes get wrinkled and grey you're just going to spend a lot more money with your therapist asking for insight and advice. It's a waste of money and time when you do because nothing can stop the creep of old age. We spend a helluva amount trying to fight this off, both emotionally and mentally but it does no good. We're damaged goods and other peoples opinions aren't going to change this. Yes, you can learn to live with yourself but doubt and insecurity are part of the package. Just make sure you have enough in y0ur retirement fund to keep paying your therapist, and your doctors for perscriptions to keep you from completely drying up. Get a good vibrator and some warming gel for lube. Go to bed early and play to your hearts content while creating all kinds of mental images to fuel your discontent.

“Equality First”

Since: Jan 09

St. Louis, MO

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#19
Aug 28, 2012
 

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I am seeing a lot of negativity and despair on this thread. It does not have to be so. I met my spouse in 1975 and we have been together ever since. We are monogamous and have a healthy and happy sex life. We are getting older and I can already sense my desire for sex ebbing. I know that some day in the not so distant future sex will be a thing of the past, but it does not frighten me or make my love for him any the less. Our relationship is based on our love, and not our sex. We have talked about it, and realize that as long as we have each other, the lack of sex will not be relevant. And who knows what the future holds after that. Either of us could die and leave the other alone. But in reality, we won't be alone, for we have a large network of friends and family. And upon the death of the survivor, who knows if we will be re-united or not. If we are, terrific....if not......we probably won't care at that point. The bottom line is to love the person you choose as your partner, and both of you work to keep it alive one day at a time. Life will take care of the rest.
Glinda

Mountain View, CA

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#20
Aug 28, 2012
 

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Ralph,

What you say is true. Unfortunatley, not all of us can find love. Sex is more readily available, love not so much. Most lesbian relationships are transient/temporary. Insecurity is usually at the root of this. Lesbians relationship are different than gay male relationships. I agree that love is the ultimate goal, but this is very difficult to find. Acceptability is also very hard to find, despite all the lip service to the contrary. Bottom line? Despair is common. We may never be fully accepted into society. We are misunderstood, hated often, scorned secretley, and in therapy regularly. Not a very happy lifestyle at all. It has its moments of joy, but these become less and less as we age. Aging lesbian women need more sex than aging gay men. Sex is just part of who we are. Our body chemistry and seratonin requirements demand this. Its a vicious cycle throughout our whole lives. So gloom and despair will make us lonely and desparate the more time passes.

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