The Adaptive Function of Masturbation in a Promiscuous African Ground Squirrel

Nov 13, 2010 | Posted by: Noodly James | Full story: www.plosone.org

Studies of animal mating systems increasingly emphasize female multiple mating and cryptic sexual selection, particularly sperm competition.

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“Shaggin' Wagon.”

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#1
Nov 15, 2010
 

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Aw Cmon!!!

“Pissing people off since 1949”

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Nov 16, 2010
 

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"Funding: This research was funded in part by a National Science Foundation ( http://www.nsf.gov/ ) grant (IBN0130600). The funders had no role in study design, data collection and analysis, decision to publish, or preparation of the manuscript."

Sheesh.

“Tactful & Classy”

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#3
Nov 16, 2010
 
I wonder if any of these squirrels have migrated to Orlando?
rubygoober

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Nov 16, 2010
 

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sanka wrote:
I wonder if any of these squirrels have migrated to Orlando?
I've been tracking them and the last I heard they've only made it as far south as Valdosta, Georgia~~
but they did stay at a Holiday Inn...

“talk to the kitteh”

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Nov 16, 2010
 

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MikeF wrote:
"Funding: This research was funded in part by a National Science Foundation ( http://www.nsf.gov/ ) grant (IBN0130600). The funders had no role in study design, data collection and analysis, decision to publish, or preparation of the manuscript."
Sheesh.
Why am I laughing? This is some serious shit, it could have some practical long-term ramifications influencing/relating to human sexual activity, i.e., the introduction of postplay to avoid infection. Does this mean I get to watch after?:)
rubygoober

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Nov 16, 2010
 

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nanoanomaly wrote:
<quoted text>Why am I laughing? This is some serious shit, it could have some practical long-term ramifications influencing/relating to human sexual activity, i.e., the introduction of postplay to avoid infection. Does this mean I get to watch after?:)
It's going to be on pay-per-view~~
Promiscuous african ground squirrels gone wild...

“Nihil curo de ista tua stulta ”

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Orlando

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#7
Nov 16, 2010
 
sanka wrote:
I wonder if any of these squirrels have migrated to Orlando?
I'll be on the lookout for them.

<eye roll>

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Nov 16, 2010
 

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Kong_ wrote:
<quoted text>
I'll be on the lookout for them.
<eye roll>
Here,
you dropped something.

“Shaggin' Wagon.”

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#9
Nov 16, 2010
 

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rubygoober wrote:
<quoted text>
It's going to be on pay-per-view~~
Promiscuous african ground squirrels gone wild...
I love the 6 squirrel tits. There's nothing hotter than that.

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#10
Nov 16, 2010
 

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Noodly James wrote:
<quoted text>
I love the 6 squirrel tits. There's nothing hotter than that.
With that face you're gonna need some super sweet nut lures for even the most unihibited squirrel slut to give you a lapdance. What you gonna do with six tatas anyway? Let me guess, you're hoping for the mother of all gnarly consuelos?

“Shaggin' Wagon.”

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#11
Nov 16, 2010
 

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nanoanomaly wrote:
<quoted text>With that face you're gonna need some super sweet nut lures for even the most unihibited squirrel slut to give you a lapdance. What you gonna do with six tatas anyway? Let me guess, you're hoping for the mother of all gnarly consuelos?
I'll make that trollop squeak. That's what she gets for masturbating in front of the research crew.

“What, me worry?”

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I'm a racist caricature!

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#12
Nov 16, 2010
 
Are these unladen African squirrels?

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#13
Nov 16, 2010
 

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Noodly James wrote:
<quoted text>
I'll make that trollop squeak. That's what she gets for masturbating in front of the research crew.
The article said that the boys "groomed" their penises after gangbanging the girl squirrel. You posted it, you shoulda read it; admit it, you went all twitchy over the word masterbate. How old are you?

“Shaggin' Wagon.”

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#14
Nov 16, 2010
 

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nanoanomaly wrote:
<quoted text>The article said that the boys "groomed" their penises after gangbanging the girl squirrel. You posted it, you shoulda read it; admit it, you went all twitchy over the word masterbate. How old are you?
I'm only 12 years old. What does this mean? Oh, I FREELY admit it. It's a masturbating squirrel. Just use the sound effects from "The emperors last groove". Squeek squeety squeek squeeken. SQUEEK OH GOD SQUEEK!!

“Shaggin' Wagon.”

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#15
Nov 16, 2010
 
LowellGuy wrote:
Are these unladen African squirrels?
No no. They have to carry coconuts.

“Maccullochella macquariensis”

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#16
Nov 16, 2010
 

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This new learning amazes me, Sir Noodly. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.

“Shaggin' Wagon.”

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Nov 17, 2010
 

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Bluenose wrote:
This new learning amazes me, Sir Noodly. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.

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#18
Nov 17, 2010
 

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LowellGuy wrote:
Are these unladen African squirrels?
Since when was it decided that squirrels were allowed as substitution for swallows?

“Maccullochella macquariensis”

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#19
Nov 17, 2010
 
No no no, it was not substitution, the swallows had been turned into squirrels by a witch practising to turn credulous villagers into newts.

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#20
Nov 17, 2010
 

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Bluenose wrote:
No no no, it was not substitution, the swallows had been turned into squirrels by a witch practising to turn credulous villagers into newts.
Don't look at me, I'm not a witch!

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