My girlfriend wants an abortion And I dont

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Please Help

Los Angeles, CA

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#1
Apr 25, 2011
 

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My girlfriend is 8 weeks pregnant. We went to get a sonogram and can see the heartbeat and development of the baby. I love my girlfriend more than anything and I am extremely happy she is pregnant. She has decided to get an abortion. I am talking to her everyday trying to convince her not to get it. I am financially capable of having a baby and giving it a good life. She changes her reasons for wanting an abortion so I truly don't understand why she really wants to get one. I know she has strong beliefs about being married first before you have a baby but is that enough reason to get an abortion? I would give everything I have to convince her to keep our baby. Any advice for me?

“Beauty on four legs”

Since: Sep 06

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#2
Apr 25, 2011
 

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Please Help wrote:
My girlfriend is 8 weeks pregnant. We went to get a sonogram and can see the heartbeat and development of the baby. I love my girlfriend more than anything and I am extremely happy she is pregnant. She has decided to get an abortion. I am talking to her everyday trying to convince her not to get it. I am financially capable of having a baby and giving it a good life. She changes her reasons for wanting an abortion so I truly don't understand why she really wants to get one. I know she has strong beliefs about being married first before you have a baby but is that enough reason to get an abortion? I would give everything I have to convince her to keep our baby. Any advice for me?
Yup.
Butt out.
It's her decision to make, not yours.
Thanks for asking.

Since: Mar 09

New Orleans, LA

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#3
Apr 25, 2011
 

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Words are empty and nothing. She has an actual physical thing there. You need an actual physical thing to show your commitment. I know you know it's not your choice, and it's cool that you don't seem pissed at her about it, but don't put too much pressure on her. How is her home-life? How secure is she in your relationship? What could you do right now to show her support? I believe that most women want to have children, but feel pressured from many different angles. I've an in-law who is terrified of becoming pregnant because it would ruin her figure, and another who has a disease that would kill her and any offspring she might try to bring into this world. In the end though, just be supportive in her ultimate choice. Not to do so means you were more interested in her reproductive ability than in her. Personally, my beliefs won't let me have a kid out of wedlock, and I've taken steps to prevent that. When my bf speaks of kids I stop him and say I want them, but not till there's a ring. How many baby-daddys do you know? Broken homes? I think we're all trying to avoid such things in our own ways.

“Beauty on four legs”

Since: Sep 06

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#4
Apr 26, 2011
 

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JoyofLife wrote:
Words are empty and nothing. She has an actual physical thing there. You need an actual physical thing to show your commitment. I know you know it's not your choice, and it's cool that you don't seem pissed at her about it, but don't put too much pressure on her. How is her home-life? How secure is she in your relationship? What could you do right now to show her support? I believe that most women want to have children, but feel pressured from many different angles. I've an in-law who is terrified of becoming pregnant because it would ruin her figure, and another who has a disease that would kill her and any offspring she might try to bring into this world. In the end though, just be supportive in her ultimate choice. Not to do so means you were more interested in her reproductive ability than in her. Personally, my beliefs won't let me have a kid out of wedlock, and I've taken steps to prevent that. When my bf speaks of kids I stop him and say I want them, but not till there's a ring. How many baby-daddys do you know? Broken homes? I think we're all trying to avoid such things in our own ways.
Well said, JoL. good job. I am impatient with men who whine after the fact, and your post was very thoughtful hanks for that.

“Blessed Be”

Since: Jun 07

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#5
Apr 26, 2011
 

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I have a hard time believing ANYONE would come onto TOPIX for advice. I believe this is someone making up this scenario to see what PCers will say. It's a trick to try to tag us with the 'pro-abort' misnomer.

Since: Nov 09

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#6
Apr 26, 2011
 

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Bitner wrote:
I have a hard time believing ANYONE would come onto TOPIX for advice. I believe this is someone making up this scenario to see what PCers will say. It's a trick to try to tag us with the 'pro-abort' misnomer.
I agree Bit... There's been a few stories over the years on here that I always found suspect.

“Beauty on four legs”

Since: Sep 06

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#7
Apr 26, 2011
 
Could be. I admit, I sometimes forget how deeply dishonest these creatures are.3690
WinterWind

Kent, OH

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#8
Apr 27, 2011
 

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When you have to carry the baby to term, you can make that decision...I'm sure many women have heard "Oh, you don't have to worry, I'll help raise and take care of our child."...only to have the father walk away and leave yet another single mother to raise and care for her child...It's a personal choice belonging to the woman...if men got pregnant, abortion would have been legal from the get-go and would never have become a social issue...

Since: Apr 11

Los Angeles, CA

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#9
Apr 28, 2011
 
JoyofLife wrote:
Words are empty and nothing. She has an actual physical thing there. You need an actual physical thing to show your commitment. I know you know it's not your choice, and it's cool that you don't seem pissed at her about it, but don't put too much pressure on her. How is her home-life? How secure is she in your relationship? What could you do right now to show her support? I believe that most women want to have children, but feel pressured from many different angles. I've an in-law who is terrified of becoming pregnant because it would ruin her figure, and another who has a disease that would kill her and any offspring she might try to bring into this world. In the end though, just be supportive in her ultimate choice. Not to do so means you were more interested in her reproductive ability than in her. Personally, my beliefs won't let me have a kid out of wedlock, and I've taken steps to prevent that. When my bf speaks of kids I stop him and say I want them, but not till there's a ring. How many baby-daddys do you know? Broken homes? I think we're all trying to avoid such things in our own ways.
Our relationship has been great. I have proposed to her to show my commitment. I am there for her all day. I am fortunate I don't have to go to work all the time like most people. I have been by her side the whole time to get her everything she needs and to try to comfort her in her pain. I do realize I don't have it growing inside of me so I can't fully understand what she is going through. If I could carry it I would. I don't like to see her in pain and have g a hard time. She was very active before. Her only reasoning for wanting to get this abortion is because she doesn't want to feel lazy and she wants to be able to go out again. She hates the fact that she is gaining weight. I try to show my support in every way that I can but it doesn't matter to her.

Since: Apr 11

Los Angeles, CA

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#10
Apr 28, 2011
 

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pbfa wrote:
<quoted text>
Yup.
Butt out.
It's her decision to make, not yours.
Thanks for asking.
That's my baby too just because it's not in me doesn't mean it shouldn't be my decision too. So f*#% off! To bad your parents didn't have abortion with you!!

Since: Mar 09

New Orleans, LA

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#11
Apr 28, 2011
 

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Kawaiso wrote:
<quoted text>
Our relationship has been great. I have proposed to her to show my commitment. I am there for her all day. I am fortunate I don't have to go to work all the time like most people. I have been by her side the whole time to get her everything she needs and to try to comfort her in her pain. I do realize I don't have it growing inside of me so I can't fully understand what she is going through. If I could carry it I would. I don't like to see her in pain and have g a hard time. She was very active before. Her only reasoning for wanting to get this abortion is because she doesn't want to feel lazy and she wants to be able to go out again. She hates the fact that she is gaining weight. I try to show my support in every way that I can but it doesn't matter to her.
That's the kind of question she can ask her doctor. Healthy weight gain is about 20 or 30 lbs. Activity can be maintained at relatively high levels till about the third trimester, and is probably a good idea anyway as studies have shown that women who exercised regularly, had children with stronger hearts and lower risk of heart disease later in life... Sounds like you guys are going in a good direction with the communication though! Sounds promising. My heart goes with you two!
Ocean56

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#12
Apr 29, 2011
 

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Kawaiso wrote:
That's my baby too just because it's not in me doesn't mean it shouldn't be my decision too. So f*#% off! To bad your parents didn't have abortion with you!!
Ah, so for you it comes back to OWNERSHIP, I see. Do you really believe both the fetus (no baby until birth) and the woman are your PROPERTY? Here's a little news flash for you; they AREN'T.

Whatever reasons your GF has for not wanting to continue the pregnancy, it is HER decision to make. SHE will be taking on ALL the risks and possibly serious complications of pregnancy, and has decided NOT to do so. Whether you choose to accept it or not, it is still HER decision to make, not yours.
George

Coventry, RI

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#13
Apr 29, 2011
 

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If you are a Christian, your best bet is to argue in the form a lawsuit filed IMMEDIATELY seeking the right to a baptism for the baby in utero as well as the right to christian burial for the remains. The actual life of the child is outside of your legal control - but the court might give a 'stay of execution' so to speak to determine the matter. Here is a link to the Christian Legal Society: http://www.clsnet.org/society/organization/mi...

Could give you guys some time to think.
George

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#14
Apr 29, 2011
 

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Also, most girls want to have abortions because they are too scared to tell their parents. Tell her nothing. Walk up. Knock on her door. Walk directly to her parents and tell them straight out that she is pregnant. It is going to take real courage - but the chances of the baby being born go up about 40%.

“Women are people, not objects.”

Since: Sep 09

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#15
Apr 29, 2011
 

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Ejaculating into a woman's body doesn't give you authority over her. That's the way rapists think. I hope everything works out for you and your girlfriend, but in the future, you should discuss things like this before they happen. Make sure you're on the same page or at least try to get an idea of what she'll do if this kind of situation arises again.

People don't always react as they think they would in these situations, though. I know women that swore they would never abort but when they had an accident, they were on the phone for an appointment almost as soon as the stick turned blue. I've known men that claimed they would be there and do anything for the woman they impregnated, only to leave them high and dry once they were past the legal cut-off point to abort.

If this doesn't work out the way you want it to, my suggestion is to find a woman who's willing to have a baby with you. Trying to force or pressure someone into it will only cause harm to everyone involved.
George

Coventry, RI

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#16
Apr 29, 2011
 
Google this legal organization that might take on your case if you seek Christian burial of the remains:

Alliance Defense Fund

I cant post a link in this forum
phil

Goleta, CA

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#17
Sep 20, 2012
 

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WinterWind wrote:
When you have to carry the baby to term, you can make that decision...I'm sure many women have heard "Oh, you don't have to worry, I'll help raise and take care of our child."...only to have the father walk away and leave yet another single mother to raise and care for her child...It's a personal choice belonging to the woman...if men got pregnant, abortion would have been legal from the get-go and would never have become a social issue...
This is an old post and you probably will not ever see my reply but I felt I had to say something to your ridiculous post. I know many male friends that are single dad's because their girlfriends/wives ext... said the same thing and left them high and dry because of different reasons. Women are not the only ones that get screwed over with pregnancies.

Your last sentence about men getting pregnant is one of the dumbest things I have ever read on the internet. I don't like to assume but I bet you have been hurt by a few men in your life and now think that all women are innocent and that men destroy families. Thinking that if men got pregnant "abortion would have been legal from the get-go" and that it would "never have become a social issue" makes me feel very sorry for your distorted and twisted view of life and men.

What if the title read "Girlfriend is pregnant and want to keep it, but I don't want to be a father". I assume you would be saying things like "It's your baby too and you need to take responsibility". So whats the difference? If she wants it and he doesn't, then man becomes evil because he doesn't want to take responsibility for "his baby". But if the women doesn't want it and he does, "It is her choice and you can't force her to do anything".

This is the conundrum I am currently in. Which is why I care so deeply about this situation.
WinterWind

Kent, OH

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#18
Sep 20, 2012
 

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phil wrote:
<quoted text>
This is an old post and you probably will not ever see my reply but I felt I had to say something to your ridiculous post. I know many male friends that are single dad's because their girlfriends/wives ext... said the same thing and left them high and dry because of different reasons. Women are not the only ones that get screwed over with pregnancies.
Your last sentence about men getting pregnant is one of the dumbest things I have ever read on the internet. I don't like to assume but I bet you have been hurt by a few men in your life and now think that all women are innocent and that men destroy families. Thinking that if men got pregnant "abortion would have been legal from the get-go" and that it would "never have become a social issue" makes me feel very sorry for your distorted and twisted view of life and men.
What if the title read "Girlfriend is pregnant and want to keep it, but I don't want to be a father". I assume you would be saying things like "It's your baby too and you need to take responsibility". So whats the difference? If she wants it and he doesn't, then man becomes evil because he doesn't want to take responsibility for "his baby". But if the women doesn't want it and he does, "It is her choice and you can't force her to do anything".
This is the conundrum I am currently in. Which is why I care so deeply about this situation.
Phil...WRONG...I'm a man , a father and a grandfather and your "I've known... " line, doesn't wash...everyone has that answer...someone states a fact that concerns an issue and right away some "know someone who...(oh, and it's etc. for et cetera, not ext.) no matter what you want to believe, in single parent households, women bear the brunt of child-rearing...period...are there men who accept the responsibility, absolutely...but it's the exception and not the rule...the majority of one parent families are held together by a strong mother...not a father...and my quote about men having babies concerns the fact that men have made most of the laws...and I believe if we were the ones carrying around the child for 9 months, abortion would NEVER have been an issue...it WOULD have been accepted and not outlawed...(that is if you could find enough men strong enough to be willing to have a baby...)you're wrong...you may "know many male friends...", but they are the exception...and compared to mother run households, they are in a small minority...my opinion holds true...

“Reality is better than truth.”

Since: Nov 09

Indianapolis

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#19
Sep 20, 2012
 

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Ah, and the worm turns...

You take no risks during pregnancy. She does. She decides which reasons are important, not you. Personally, I would worry bout having a baby with someone who apparently doesn't work.
Kawaiso wrote:
<quoted text>
That's my baby too just because it's not in me doesn't mean it shouldn't be my decision too. So f*#% off! To bad your parents didn't have abortion with you!!

“Reality is better than truth.”

Since: Nov 09

Indianapolis

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#20
Sep 20, 2012
 
I can't even begin to count the reasons that would be unconstitutional. Suffice it to say that RvW makes it clear that ONLY the woman has a say in what happens to the fetus; she makes all the decisions until viability, at which point the state may or may not exert its interest. You don't get to shove your religion into her uterus. There is also no such thing as fetal baptism in the doctrine of any major christian sect. Extreme unction is sometimes performed fopr a stillborn or miscarried fetus, but only AFTER it has left the woman's body. You want a baptism, she will probably be happy to abort so you can hold one. It's certainly easier than dealing with jesus freaks with a sense of entitlement.
George wrote:
If you are a Christian, your best bet is to argue in the form a lawsuit filed IMMEDIATELY seeking the right to a baptism for the baby in utero as well as the right to christian burial for the remains. The actual life of the child is outside of your legal control - but the court might give a 'stay of execution' so to speak to determine the matter. Here is a link to the Christian Legal Society: http://www.clsnet.org/society/organization/mi...
Could give you guys some time to think.

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