I think my girlfriend had an abortion

Posted in the Abortion Forum

Comments
1 - 20 of 33 Comments Last updated Apr 22, 2013
First Prev
of 2
Next Last
Track_Star

Walkersville, MD

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#1
Mar 1, 2008
 
My girlfriend of 3 years suddenly ended our relationship with no warning and I think she had an abortion. I will start with a little background information. I am 24 and she is 22. She goes to college a few hours away from where I live. In the months leading up to the breakup everything seemed to be going great. I visited her several times during the semester and each time she begged me to extend my stay, which I did.
When she came home for winter break, she broke up with me the first day she returned home. I was shocked and repediately asked for a reason and got none, only the standard cliche answers such as we're growing apart, not enough in common, ect. I made it clear that I wanted to be back together but she would not change her mind. I did ask her if we could have sex one last time for my birthday which was in December. She agreed but said she was sick and her doctor ordered her not to have sex for 2 weeks. I was a little skeptical and she went on to further explain that she also wasn't able to bathe during this time, she could only take showers. As the two weeks came closer to it's end I asked again about the sex and she said she would need to be cleared first by her doctor. Despite the effort on my part she never did have sex with me and she left in early Jan to go back to school. At this time she also stopped answering my calls.
In November when I was visiting her I found a grocery bag with 3 pregnancy tests in it. One had the used test which was negative, but the other two only had the empty box. At the time I was out there I asked her why she had them and she said they were from a long time ago. This was definately not true as she had only moved out there 6 weeks earlier, she had been living several hundred miles away for the last year. I highly doubt she would have packed that up with her and brought it along when she made her move.
Over Thanksgiving break, she mentioned that she had a gynecologist exam, saying it was just routine. Obviously, I think it was in regards to the pregnancy and even if not, she still could have found out then and there that she was pregnant. While she was home in December she at one point mentioned that she was switching birth control methods which again begs the question on why.
Unfortunately, I only put all of this together recently, after she left. And now, she isn't answering my calls so I haven't had a chance to ask her about this. I am wondering, is there any other explanation for all of this; the tests, the no sex, no baths, the routine gynecologist apointment, ect. aside from abortion? I looked online and what she said her doctor recommended is exactly what they would have recommended after an abortion. I would love to hear anyone's thoughts on this matter. Thanks.
Track_Star

Walkersville, MD

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#3
Mar 2, 2008
 
Anyone?

“Beauty on four legs”

Since: Sep 06

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#4
Mar 2, 2008
 

Judged:

4

3

3

If she didn't tell you about it, you need to mind your own business & move on. She has. If she wanted you to know, she'd have told you. If she wanted you in her life, she wouldn't have broken up with you. I know it's harsh, but you need to get real & move on. If she did have an abortion, how do you know it's yours? What difference would it make?

“...my medical opinion is...”

Since: Dec 06

La Crosse, WI

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#5
Mar 2, 2008
 
she could have also had a miscarriage. sometimes you have to have a D&C or if it's too far into the pregnancy give birth or have an abortion.

I miscarred twice between my two boys, and had to have a D&C to have all the pregnancy stuff removed. Also - my sister recently miscarried at 5 months - she gave birth. They could have done it like a late term abortion, where as she wouldn't have given birth... but she chose to give birth.

She had not taken baths, had been sick, ect.

Also - due to my struggles to get pregnant, I kept both my pregnancy tests... so perhaps either way she kept them, the negatgive one, threw away, the positive one kept. Or perhaps they simply hadn't been used.

also since the box was empty, they very well could have been old. Both my pregnancy tests from my two boys are now empty boxes with no negative or positive result.

Birth control method changing is normal throughout a womans life. Maybe she just didn't feel it was the right one for her.

Also, women are recommended to get yearly gyno checks. If she was having problems with her birth control, she'd very well go to a gyno for help. Or if she felt something was wrong.

A pregnancy where the egg and sperm latch in the fillopian tubes (can't think of the word right now, sorry) could be likely as well, in which you would have to end the pregnancy because of tedious risks...

You can't say for sure one way or another, you have to talk to her, not some random people online.

“A person is a person no matter”

Since: Sep 07

how small.

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#6
Mar 2, 2008
 

Judged:

1

Track_Star wrote:
My girlfriend of 3 years suddenly ended our relationship with no warning and I think she had an abortion. I will start with a little background information. I am 24 and she is 22. She goes to college a few hours away from where I live. In the months leading up to the breakup everything seemed to be going great. I visited her several times during the semester and each time she begged me to extend my stay, which I did.
When she came home for winter break, she broke up with me the first day she returned home. I was shocked and repediately asked for a reason and got none, only the standard cliche answers such as we're growing apart, not enough in common, ect. I made it clear that I wanted to be back together but she would not change her mind. I did ask her if we could have sex one last time for my birthday which was in December. She agreed but said she was sick and her doctor ordered her not to have sex for 2 weeks. I was a little skeptical and she went on to further explain that she also wasn't able to bathe during this time, she could only take showers. As the two weeks came closer to it's end I asked again about the sex and she said she would need to be cleared first by her doctor. Despite the effort on my part she never did have sex with me and she left in early Jan to go back to school. At this time she also stopped answering my calls.
In November when I was visiting her I found a grocery bag with 3 pregnancy tests in it. One had the used test which was negative, but the other two only had the empty box. At the time I was out there I asked her why she had them and she said they were from a long time ago. This was definately not true as she had only moved out there 6 weeks earlier, she had been living several hundred miles away for the last year. I highly doubt she would have packed that up with her and brought it along when she made her move.
Over Thanksgiving break, she mentioned that she had a gynecologist exam, saying it was just routine. Obviously, I think it was in regards to the pregnancy and even if not, she still could have found out then and there that she was pregnant. While she was home in December she at one point mentioned that she was switching birth control methods which again begs the question on why.
Unfortunately, I only put all of this together recently, after she left. And now, she isn't answering my calls so I haven't had a chance to ask her about this. I am wondering, is there any other explanation for all of this; the tests, the no sex, no baths, the routine gynecologist apointment, ect. aside from abortion? I looked online and what she said her doctor recommended is exactly what they would have recommended after an abortion. I would love to hear anyone's thoughts on this matter. Thanks.
This is certainly a strange set of circumstances, I would hope that if you care about this person that you would be there for her as a friend, especially if she lost a baby through miscarriage or abortion.
just me

Bronx, NY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#7
Mar 3, 2008
 

Judged:

1

1

1

I am so sorry that your child might have been denied to you and especially in such a horrible and grave way.
I just hope and pray that she didnt have an abortion and that there might be a misunderstanding going on.
Sex is NOT for casual play b/c things like that happen when there is no commitment.
just me

Bronx, NY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#8
Mar 3, 2008
 
<<<<<<< <<"If she didn't tell you about it, you need to mind your own business & move on. She has. If she wanted you to know, she'd have told you. If she wanted you in her life, she wouldn't have broken up with you. I know it's harsh, but you need to get real & move on. If she did have an abortion, how do you know it's yours? What difference would it make? ">>>>>> >>

what difference what it make? um...it might just be HIS child being aborted. would it make a difference if she allowed the child to keep growing ? I am sure you would say yes right? suddenly he would have to know?

“Ex nihilo nihil fit”

Since: Mar 07

Middle America

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#10
Mar 4, 2008
 
Rachel McCaull wrote:
Why do you want to know? There's nothing you can do about it now. If you are totally against abortion; take comfort in that you didn't even know to try and stop her.
Chalk this up to "sometimes life really sucks" file it with a note to 'be more careful when it comes to sex' and move on.
If you're taking it really hard, please seek help with someone that can help you and not from annonymous people on an abortion forum. I don't think you'll find the comfort your looking for here.
There are places that will help you better than here. Best of luck to you!
Rachel did you clowns all screw up and get kicked out of YOUR forum leaving only me?

“Ex nihilo nihil fit”

Since: Mar 07

Middle America

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#12
Mar 4, 2008
 
Rachel McCaull wrote:
<quoted text>I'm sorry; I'm sorry. I'm trying; I am.
Please give me another chance; please!
Check this out; I look psychotic or something:

http://www.topix.com/forum/news/abortion/T8P1...

“Ex nihilo nihil fit”

Since: Mar 07

Middle America

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#15
Mar 4, 2008
 
Rachel McCaull wrote:
<quoted text>They removed that thread because of 'problems', but I think you saved it cause they must have been removing it as your comment was being posted. You're my hero FC. lol
Gee thanks Rachel, I am glad to see at least you were not banned~~be careful around here~~:-)

“Ex nihilo nihil fit”

Since: Mar 07

Middle America

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#17
Mar 5, 2008
 
Rachel McCaull wrote:
<quoted text>Ummmmm ya that's right.(whistling and looking at the ground) snicker.
LOL, okay so you go from a hot "thirty something" to a little girl~~you just cannot make up your mind who you are~~:-)

“Reality is better than truth”

Since: Jun 07

Indianapolis

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#19
Mar 6, 2008
 

Judged:

2

1

1

I'm seeing why she broke up with you--you;re self-centered and give the clear impression that your relationship is based on sex. Asking for sex on your birthday even though you understood the relationship was over is pretty much a dead cert clue there.

There could be any number of reasons why she wouldn't have sex with you--maybe she just didn't want to and found various reasons to put you off because she didn't want to just knee you in the groin to get you to shut up bout it.

The pregnancy tests would imply to me that she found someone else when finds more acceptable while away at school. Maybe this person doesn't see her as a support system for a vagina, and maybe this person doesn't go through her things to find "clues" that are none of his business.

It's over, grab a clue and move on. She doesn't have to tell you if she had a abortion or a yeast infection or a new boyfriend.
Track_Star wrote:
My girlfriend of 3 years suddenly ended our relationship with no warning and I think she had an abortion. I will start with a little background information. I am 24 and she is 22. She goes to college a few hours away from where I live. In the months leading up to the breakup everything seemed to be going great. I visited her several times during the semester and each time she begged me to extend my stay, which I did.
When she came home for winter break, she broke up with me the first day she returned home. I was shocked and repediately asked for a reason and got none, only the standard cliche answers such as we're growing apart, not enough in common, ect. I made it clear that I wanted to be back together but she would not change her mind. I did ask her if we could have sex one last time for my birthday which was in December. She agreed but said she was sick and her doctor ordered her not to have sex for 2 weeks. I was a little skeptical and she went on to further explain that she also wasn't able to bathe during this time, she could only take showers. As the two weeks came closer to it's end I asked again about the sex and she said she would need to be cleared first by her doctor. Despite the effort on my part she never did have sex with me and she left in early Jan to go back to school. At this time she also stopped answering my calls.
In November when I was visiting her I found a grocery bag with 3 pregnancy tests in it. One had the used test which was negative, but the other two only had the empty box. At the time I was out there I asked her why she had them and she said they were from a long time ago. This was definately not true as she had only moved out there 6 weeks earlier, she had been living several hundred miles away for the last year. I highly doubt she would have packed that up with her and brought it along when she made her move.
Over Thanksgiving break, she mentioned that she had a gynecologist exam, saying it was just routine. Obviously, I think it was in regards to the pregnancy and even if not, she still could have found out then and there that she was pregnant. While she was home in December she at one point mentioned that she was switching birth control methods which again begs the question on why.
Unfortunately, I only put all of this together recently, after she left. And now, she isn't answering my calls so I haven't had a chance to ask her about this. I am wondering, is there any other explanation for all of this; the tests, the no sex, no baths, the routine gynecologist apointment, ect. aside from abortion? I looked online and what she said her doctor recommended is exactly what they would have recommended after an abortion. I would love to hear anyone's thoughts on this matter. Thanks.
cap

Nyack, NY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#20
Mar 22, 2008
 
okie, Now, I know we should not jump to conclusions here, My bf and I live together, I keep pregnacy tests in the house for the hell of it. Now, no bath no sex, have you ever thought about yeast infections or a urinary track infection? Women get this quiet often , espcially in thier early 20's, maybe she was embarseed to tell you she has vaginal dischrage and was taking perscription cream medicine? Wouldent you feel a little humiliated. sometimes these two can cause periods to be late and have other side effects on the body. And going to the gyno a few times a year is perfectly normal, and baths are a no no !!.I hope your situation improved and you are able to get your answers. just please consider the fact wehn us girls get a yeast infection or a uti it is embarssing and we are on antibiotics and stupid cream and cannot have sex for weeks .

good luck :) I really feel sorry , i know it hurts to be left with no explanation.
Ocean56

AOL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#21
Mar 22, 2008
 

Judged:

1

1

Cpetr13 wrote:
I'm seeing why she broke up with you--you;re self-centered and give the clear impression that your relationship is based on sex. Asking for sex on your birthday even though you understood the relationship was over is pretty much a dead cert clue there.
There could be any number of reasons why she wouldn't have sex with you--maybe she just didn't want to and found various reasons to put you off because she didn't want to just knee you in the groin to get you to shut up bout it.
The pregnancy tests would imply to me that she found someone else when finds more acceptable while away at school. Maybe this person doesn't see her as a support system for a vagina, and maybe this person doesn't go through her things to find "clues" that are none of his business.
It's over, grab a clue and move on. She doesn't have to tell you if she had a abortion or a yeast infection or a new boyfriend.
<quoted text>
Excellent points, CPetr, I can't believe this rather self-centered young man had the nerve to ask her for sex AFTER she'd made it pretty obvious the relationship was OVER. Breaking up with him was a wise decision on her part, some men just don't deal with breakups when THEY are on the receiving end.

TrackStar, accept that this young woman doesn't want to continue the relationship with you and move on. And that you're not entitled to "know" whether or not she had an abortion.

S.I.N.= Self Inflicted NONSENSE
sympahetic listener

London, UK

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#22
Mar 23, 2008
 
1) Firstly you need to move on . and think of number one: yourself
2)Relationships with distance do not work.
3)If you have unanswered questions with your :ex
whether she had an abortion or not?, it is your right to ask!
4)You need to know to move on, i hope you get your answers
I personally think that she became pregant and had an abortion. Now , if she tells you the real reason she left ,you might not like it....be prepared for the worst
move on , trust me , the real person is out there for you .

“Yeah, it's me.”

Since: Nov 07

Salmon Arm, Canada

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#23
Mar 23, 2008
 
just me wrote:
<<<<<<< <<"If she didn't tell you about it, you need to mind your own business & move on. She has. If she wanted you to know, she'd have told you. If she wanted you in her life, she wouldn't have broken up with you. I know it's harsh, but you need to get real & move on. If she did have an abortion, how do you know it's yours? What difference would it make? ">>>>>> >>
what difference what it make? um...it might just be HIS child being aborted. would it make a difference if she allowed the child to keep growing ? I am sure you would say yes right? suddenly he would have to know?
I don't know about anyone else, but the father of my daughter was an ass, so I didn't tell him I was pregnant. I decided life was better off without him, and that my daughter would be too. And watching people I know fight over custody and child support and crap like that, I'm glad I did.

And no, he didn't hit me, or verbally abuse me, or drink or do drugs or anything like that, he just wanted sex and that was it.

“Reality is better than truth”

Since: Jun 07

Indianapolis

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#24
Mar 24, 2008
 
He also needs to understand that he has the right to ask and SHE has the right not to answer. So get an answer or not, but then drop it. The way this guy posted, he has all the potential in the world to be a stalker.
sympahetic listener wrote:
1) Firstly you need to move on . and think of number one: yourself
2)Relationships with distance do not work.
3)If you have unanswered questions with your :ex
whether she had an abortion or not?, it is your right to ask!
4)You need to know to move on, i hope you get your answers
I personally think that she became pregant and had an abortion. Now , if she tells you the real reason she left ,you might not like it....be prepared for the worst
move on , trust me , the real person is out there for you .

“Exercise Your Brain”

Since: Jun 07

Planet Earth

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#25
Mar 25, 2008
 
sympahetic listener wrote:
1) Firstly you need to move on . and think of number one: yourself
2)Relationships with distance do not work.
3)If you have unanswered questions with your :ex
whether she had an abortion or not?, it is your right to ask!
4)You need to know to move on, i hope you get your answers
I personally think that she became pregant and had an abortion. Now , if she tells you the real reason she left ,you might not like it....be prepared for the worst
move on , trust me , the real person is out there for you .
#3 WRONG! She has no obligation to tell TrackStar anything whatsoever.

BTW, did you notice the part where she won't answer his calls? Are you encouraging stalking?

It's over, he needs to let it go.
Dove

Evans, CO

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#26
Oct 16, 2008
 
I love my boyfriend and would tell him right away if there was a possibility that I was pregnant. But that stage of trust took me a long time to reach. I once had a man walk out on me during a pregnancy scare, and as a result, my automatic reaction to a possible pregnancy is to pull away from everyone else and start sustaining and taking care of myself. I was so traumatized by a man leaving me in that state that I found it hard to ever trust anyone not to leave me in that state again, meaning that I would have to take care of myself.
In other words, there are reasons that women have abortions without telling their partners.
I'm sorry that this has been so hurtful for you. I wish that there was some way for you to let her know that you're still supportive of her. But as it is, it sounds like it's time to let go.

Next time, in a sexual relationship, talk about what happens if a pregnancy occurs, before having sex. My current boyfriend gained my trust in that way. He told me straight off that he would under no circumstances leave me, and that he considered a pregnancy to be an equal responsibility, involving both parties.
Tonya

Williamsburg, VA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#27
Nov 11, 2008
 
Even if she did have an abortion, she may have not wanted for you to experience what she experienced. I can understand u being upset about the sudden breakup but maybe don't dwell too much on this.

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

•••