Sometimes, it takes a little sophistication to understand what you are seeing:A kid walked by his mother's bedroom and saw her on the bed masturbating, saying, "Oh god, I need a man. Oh god, I need a man".
Two nights later, he walked by his mom's room and a naked man walked out, excused himself, went to the bathroom, urinated and walked back into his mom's room and closed the door. The boy immediately went back to his room, started masturbating furiously saying, "Oh god, I need a bicycle. Oh god, I need a bicycle."
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his father, "What is this father?" The father, having never seen an elevator, responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!"
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of light with numbers above the wall light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out.
The man said to his son, "Go get your mother!"
========== I opened my favorite jokes file for that. Here's a few more:
(30) The captain of a commercial jet made an announcement over the cabin's PA system informing the passengers that the Grand Canyon was now visible out of the left side of the airplane.
He set his hand set down, not realizing that the voice activation button was still depressed, and that he was still broadcasting to the cabin. He turned to his copilot, and jokingly commented that he could sure use a cup of coffee and a blow job about then. Everybody in the cabin heard him.
In horror, the stewardess began running toward the cockpit to apprise the captain of the situation. As she runs past him, a passenger on the aisle shouts, "Don't forget the coffee!"
(33) A woman has the images of her favorite sex symbols - Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise - tattooed to the insides of her thighs. When the artist is finished, the woman looks down and expresses her dismay at the poor job that he has done.
The artist points out that she is in no position to judge his work, since she is seeing it upside down. So they agree to let a third party – the first one to walk by the tattoo shop - be the final arbiter.
That just happens to be a street drunk, who is stumbling by at that moment. They beckon the drunk enter, and to please try to identify the celebrities between the woman’s legs. He agrees.
After a few seconds of staring, reeling, and squinting the drunk announces,“I can't say who the two on the ends are, but the one in the middle is the spittin’ image of Willie Nelson.”
(33) My neighbor discovered that her pet schnauzer could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The poor dog’s ear hairs were all tangled and matted, so the vet cleaned them both out, and the dog could hear fine. He told the lady that if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should go to the store and get some Nair, a hair remover, and rub in its ears once a month.
The lady goes to the drug store as instructed to get some Nair for her dog. At the register, the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady says, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The druggist says, "Well then, if you're going to be using it on your legs, I recommend that you not wear hose for a few days."
The lady says, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."
The druggist then says, "In that case, lady, you should probably stay off your bicycle for a few days.”