And if you **really** want to hammer home a lousy waiter?<quoted text>
For me, the server 's (male or female) personal life and choices do not come in to play when deciding a tip. All that matters is their quality of service, attitude and promptness. The quality of the food doesn't come to mind.
I gave an excellent waiter at Red Lobster a.$50 tip for a $125 meal. The dude was such a good waiter, he's the kind you remember.
However, another time we had this really shitty waitress, the kind that slammed the good down, never asked how the meal was, never refilled the drinks, etc. she came to the table twice; once to take our order and once to drop the check. If she was a single mom that needed extra cash, she certainly didn't act like it. I have her nothing.
Leave your penny/nickle/quarter with her manager-- say, "here's the tip for XXX, it's a wee big generous, I know, but I didn't have anything smaller..."