While I have no idea if this post is to be taken at face-value or not, I'll admit that the sentiment behind it appears genuinely sweet. I have, more often than not, enjoyed your contributions here Rachel. Your posts have alternated between the hilarious and the harrowing, the irreverent and the illuminating, the poignant and the perverse, the obnoxious and the observant.This is going to be hard for me to write, and with my history, this is probably not going to be taken seriously, although I genuinely mean it, and will from now on, because I don't see myself coming back.
I don't like myself here, I don't like the person I am on here because I'm not that person elsewhere.
To Morgana, I want to apologize to you for what I said to you, and how I twisted your story to suit my agenda, that was not fair of me to do that to you, and I take full responsibility for my actions. I'm very sorry Morgana, and I honestly wish you well.
To Chicky (WHOA) chicky.... we've had our ups, and downs, and they were mostly downs. I went over what I wrote you, and from that I feel the most disgusted with myself. What I said to you, there is no excuse for it. None. You honestly beat me, for me to act so atrociously towards you, tells me that you got the better of me, and I became very spiteful, mean, and just all around ugly.
I think you did an awesome job. I think you have a beautiful family, and congratulations on your adorable grand babies. You are very independent, strong, intelligent, and a good person for people to look up to with your strength, and I know a heart of gold. You do, I've seen it (just not towards me - go figure)
My apology is sincere, and I hope it's accepted even though I won't blame any of you for not accepting it.
I've been horrible to everyone on here at one time or another, and to those people, please note, I may not remember specifics, but I remember how I was/am on here, and chances are most of you came under my line of fire.
I wanted everyone to know, that really, that's not me, it isn't. I wish the circumstances which 'we' met were different, because I know my behavior would have been different.
I honestly feel horrible about what I said/did on here, and the only way I feel I can rectify that is to leave. I don't like ME HERE. I don't like what I was capable of, I don't like what I did. That's NOT me, and it's too bad that not any of you will really know that, because if we met in real life, I'm liked... honestly I am. I know it's hard to believe but generally I'm a really, really nice person. I've been on here for years, and the majority of the time I .... I cringe. How could I have gone so long being that type of person, and not see it?
So again, and for the last time, I'm sorry. If it's any consolation, I learned a lot about myself, and realize it's not that I really need to change, it's just that I need to change what I'm capable of. And in all areas of my life, this is the one (topix) that I can't get a handle on, so the way to fix that, is to not hang in such a controversial issue thread.
Please note that I am truly sorry, I feel absolutely disgusted with myself, and in trying to fix that, I have no choice, I better leave.
I know, I know, you guys don't want me to, but Chicky's troll be gone spray really really did work.
You've been a self-professed troll with few of an actual troll's attributes--at least half of the time, you had something worthwhile to say.
Here's hoping we haven't seen the last of you but, if we have, my very best as always...