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“serious about music , love rap”

Since: Oct 12

Huntsville

#53 Mar 3, 2013
Finally:)
Shini

Seoul, Korea

#54 Mar 3, 2013
^ That was RRC's post. I'll judge this in a bit.

“serious about music , love rap”

Since: Oct 12

Huntsville

#55 Mar 3, 2013
Shini wrote:
^ That was RRC's post. I'll judge this in a bit.
Umm Shini i don't see it?

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#57 Mar 3, 2013
Yea. Dont see it

“Get money ”

Since: Sep 11

Chicago

#58 Mar 3, 2013
I don't see it

“Get money ”

Since: Sep 11

Chicago

#59 Mar 3, 2013
I see it my bad

“serious about music , love rap”

Since: Oct 12

Huntsville

#60 Mar 3, 2013
Shinis post?
Shini

Korea

#61 Mar 5, 2013
I will have to repost it. I don't see it. I bet I can see it on my office computer though.

Time to judge these.
Shini

Korea

#62 Mar 5, 2013
[Chi-Town Lover]

Strike first that's what my (father-say) confuse this rapping roller coaster like a bastard on (fathers-day)
That hit fairly well. Clean set-up; clean punch. Nice metaphors and use of simulies.(4.5/5)

He bout to get beat in a (slaughter-way) you lucky this daddy (daughter- day)And I can't let the (mortar- spray)
Nice use of multis, I see where your hinting at the punch but it isn't quite clear.(3.5/5)

I'm (wrapping-this-roller-"c oaster") in a "body-bag"...one shot from the "toaster" is how I "body-fags"
Reverse the set-up and the punch. The second line works better as the set-up line. Still a bit better than some of Alucard's mixed punches so I'll give and extra point here.(3/5)

Ring the "alarm" I'm [back] with the [strap] on the (holster) My flows da "bomb" on the [track] of your roller (coaster)
So far this is your best punch. With flow alone you'll "blow his whole set-up?" See what I did there? lol (5/5)

You fu*ked with the (wrong-one) you "stand no chance" I'm (bar-strong) I'm here for the long ride "tour de France" like (Arm-strong)

This is perhaps stylistic, but you could omitted like since France and Lance rhymes well. It gives it a eerie flow too. Still a nice punchline. Set-up dope. Punch dope.(4.5/5)

You going up against a belt (holder-rap-champ) in call of duty you'd be that scared (soldier-that-camp)
Decent comparison. Could of hit a bit harder with a little rewording.(4/5)

This Chitown lover (remember-the-name) lyrics like razor sharp scalpel (dismember-your-frame)

Sounds like your just trying to bully him here. Remember the name is a Fort Minor song. So I kept thinking of it.
I would have probably said:

"I'm like Fort Minor so "remember the name"
Cause I got that fire to "heat cinder ya frame"

tbh...(3.5/5) Probably should of reworded it so you sound less like a braggart.

When I let loose like a wild horse out the "stable".... you'll see more "blood" than an "operating table"
This is your second haymaker. This needs no breakdown. That was brutal man.(5/5)

Score 32.5/40. I think he holds the highest grade for round two. Anyways it was a good read. I'll have to breakdown the other guy later.
Shini

Korea

#63 Mar 5, 2013
Shini wrote:
I will have to repost it. I don't see it. I bet I can see it on my office computer though.
Time to judge these.
Don't worry I can still see your two bars drops so you're good.
chitown-lover

United States

#64 Mar 5, 2013
Shini wrote:
[Chi-Town Lover]
Strike first that's what my (father-say) confuse this rapping roller coaster like a bastard on (fathers-day)
That hit fairly well. Clean set-up; clean punch. Nice metaphors and use of simulies.(4.5/5)
He bout to get beat in a (slaughter-way) you lucky this daddy (daughter- day)And I can't let the (mortar- spray)
Nice use of multis, I see where your hinting at the punch but it isn't quite clear.(3.5/5)
I'm (wrapping-this-roller-"c oaster") in a "body-bag"...one shot from the "toaster" is how I "body-fags"
Reverse the set-up and the punch. The second line works better as the set-up line. Still a bit better than some of Alucard's mixed punches so I'll give and extra point here.(3/5)
Ring the "alarm" I'm [back] with the [strap] on the (holster) My flows da "bomb" on the [track] of your roller (coaster)
So far this is your best punch. With flow alone you'll "blow his whole set-up?" See what I did there? lol (5/5)
You fu*ked with the (wrong-one) you "stand no chance" I'm (bar-strong) I'm here for the long ride "tour de France" like (Arm-strong)
This is perhaps stylistic, but you could omitted like since France and Lance rhymes well. It gives it a eerie flow too. Still a nice punchline. Set-up dope. Punch dope.(4.5/5)
You going up against a belt (holder-rap-champ) in call of duty you'd be that scared (soldier-that-camp)
Decent comparison. Could of hit a bit harder with a little rewording.(4/5)
This Chitown lover (remember-the-name) lyrics like razor sharp scalpel (dismember-your-frame)
Sounds like your just trying to bully him here. Remember the name is a Fort Minor song. So I kept thinking of it.
I would have probably said:
"I'm like Fort Minor so "remember the name"
Cause I got that fire to "heat cinder ya frame"
tbh...(3.5/5) Probably should of reworded it so you sound less like a braggart.
When I let loose like a wild horse out the "stable".... you'll see more "blood" than an "operating table"
This is your second haymaker. This needs no breakdown. That was brutal man.(5/5)
Score 32.5/40. I think he holds the highest grade for round two. Anyways it was a good read. I'll have to breakdown the other guy later.
Nice breakdown thanks for the pointers

“serious about music , love rap”

Since: Oct 12

Huntsville

#65 Mar 5, 2013
That's gonna be hard to beat lol. Great battle chi I think I have the right to say I have obviously gotten much better, but I also have the right to say that I obviously have tons and tons to learn

“always”

Since: Jun 12

Connecticut

#66 Mar 5, 2013
Chi town got a lot better, very impressed..

“Get money ”

Since: Sep 11

Chicago

#67 Mar 5, 2013
RappinRollerCoaster wrote:
That's gonna be hard to beat lol. Great battle chi I think I have the right to say I have obviously gotten much better, but I also have the right to say that I obviously have tons and tons to learn
I liked your verse a lot you still gotta good chance of beating me. You have improved since our first battles and are doing Much better keep doing your thang rrc

“Get money ”

Since: Sep 11

Chicago

#68 Mar 5, 2013
annoyin artist wrote:
Chi town got a lot better, very impressed..
Thanks aa

“serious about music , love rap”

Since: Oct 12

Huntsville

#69 Mar 5, 2013
Thanks chi
Shini

Seoul, Korea

#70 Mar 5, 2013
Yes, I can see it at work, but I cannot see it at home. Unfortunately, I was too busy to get to this today. I had 6 classes and I have Korean afterwards.

“serious about music , love rap”

Since: Oct 12

Huntsville

#71 Mar 6, 2013
When can I expect the critique and grade to be up?
jalom cyk

Johannesburg, South Africa

#73 Mar 18, 2013
i spit prophecies burning ya mcees with hymns im a dark cloud i make evil spirits to scream atomic bombs that awake a dreamer in dreams you pay me to bury you like society schemes you a victim that i could crush in any minute this devil signs are no longer kept in secret these triple six digits i wanna paste on your on your face burning in hell like a fish thats away from its place bleeding in vain like slaves from they history pain i prove cowards stay cowards rich are getting richer dont give me any power im an african hitler my mouth is a trigger my words are bullets your own soul flesh is written to let
Shini

Korea

#74 Mar 20, 2013
jalom cyk wrote:
i spit prophecies burning ya mcees with hymns im a dark cloud i make evil spirits to scream atomic bombs that awake a dreamer in dreams you pay me to bury you like society schemes you a victim that i could crush in any minute this devil signs are no longer kept in secret these triple six digits i wanna paste on your on your face burning in hell like a fish thats away from its place bleeding in vain like slaves from they history pain i prove cowards stay cowards rich are getting richer dont give me any power im an african hitler my mouth is a trigger my words are bullets your own soul flesh is written to let
That wasn't bad, but that is best posted in the freestyle forum thread.

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