M.M.B. vs. S.R.D.
Some Random Dude

United States

#1 Jan 28, 2014
An even ten bars. No flipping(using someone's bars against them.) That is two lines per bar. 4 lines or two bars a stanza. Quality over quantity.

Voting-
Metaphors:
Wordplay:
Multies:
Similes:
Punches:
Creativity:
Enjoyment:

-Explaination for vote-
-What stood out to you and why-
Some Random Dude

United States

#3 Jan 29, 2014
Jus drop a 10, I will not go any further after. :/ A 10 takes 30-50 minutes.
MBb

Europe

#4 Jan 31, 2014
K... but i'm barely on the forum so you may go first....
Some Random Dude

United States

#5 Jan 31, 2014
Far from my best.

You're a pacifist takin' on a violent advocate let's fight yo
Callin' yourself John Lenon sayin' STOP so I'll GO
Makin' like Nemo 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
Ya drownin' locked out of my Little Yellow Submarine
Sorry your in over your head so I use a simple rhyme
Cause I got to emphasize that you got quite a little mind
Your bars bouncin' like a rubber check at dinner time
So I'll grab the line an' take away this skinny sinner's life
I'm heading you off leavin' the crowd in awe always
Try to stop ya head from rollin' down all these hallways
Couldn't get brain with intellectuals knocking at you're door
No headless horseman, but I'll nail ya to the floor boards
So when I smash through this house in a gased up four door
You'll be begging for death and your girl will beg four more
As I run ya down with a broken Ford my bars smart
But no amount of smarts counts without heart start
A fictional conviction an' friction will rip the farce apart
So don't front or I'll break face you ain't a hard mark
Walking through your halucinations and confusion
I'm rippin' apart your delusions I'm real, no illusions
Leave you with contusions and bruises your stupid
The Special Ed. kid who claimed he was struck by loopy cupid
A rude Rudy who got steamed rolled for being snooty
Carried off with a broken neck Breaking News on Tuesday
MBb

Europe

#7 Feb 1, 2014
You will never gonna get a slice of the action...b!tch you just went MIA
I would go to the VMAs with an Oscar like Slim Shady so i guess i left you behind like a vapour trail
That means i'm on cloud number 84 never gon' be shaken like Hiate's Floor plus your flow need water tale
So i'm wearing my outfit with bulletproof with guns that parachute so i'm ready to kill yet never blow
Less effort spent on this one
No respect earn from this one but still
I put my 'Ass'on Assasin so let it snow
Some Random Dude be screamin' in silence so better be alarmed or be eccentric like kook
f*ck it, i emerged from the undergrounds, you don't match with me i'm going through stages i'm goku
last time f*cked a girl was your sisters she say c*m i said i call it celibate
so if you got females to relate
tell em that my bullet is wet,beach(B!TCH),seaman(SEMEN) f*ck it bring your mama so i can fornicate
f*ck Hip Hop..lets live our lives but we leave let's celebrate..
Some Random Dude

United States

#8 Feb 1, 2014
Iight, so, while recovering from my brain fart of creativity. Let's see the votes. Hopefully I'll recover for the Punchline Tourney.
MBb

Europe

#9 Feb 1, 2014
That was not my best..i wrote that during my class break.. i also think there was no effort on yours too..anyway let's see who is winning these one..
Shini

Las Vegas, NV

#10 Feb 2, 2014
This is fairly one sided. SRD got most of these.

Flow SRD- He was more intrigate and complex with his flow.
Punches- SRD- He should write punches like this more often. This was dope.
Rhyme Scheme-SRD-He came with a multitude of literary techniques and plus this piece actually sounded more like a battle verse than a poetic stanza. This is how people should be writing for TL2.
Multis- SRD His were cleaner and not forced.
Creativity- SRD MMb was sort of rambling in his piece.
Wordplay-MMb- He had some wordplay. Nothing I haven't seen though.

SRD- Drop like this more often and you will make short work of your adversaries. You pretty much went into a storytelling bit that was okay. Make sure the punches are clearly visible for better effect.

MMb- You need to clean your structure up a little. I get some of your ideas, but there are others I am a bit confused with. You can provide expos for clarity. Your punches need to relate to each other like father and son. The first line is all about presentation. Your second line is where the punch goes. I have to say that even if you wrote clearer and with more effort. SRD would have still won due to his angles/entendres,

You are trying; I can tell. However it will take a lot of work for you to reach his level. He didn't get this good over night. I think you should try battling people on your level until you further develop your text format.
MBb

Europe

#11 Feb 2, 2014
Thanks a lot man especially comin' from you shini..if i'm not mistaken SRD is been doing these sh!t almost seven years now but i'm still new and i'm seven months.. it will not happen overnight i know..and my name is MBb not MMB...

“Divide and conquer ”

Since: Mar 13

Brooklyn, New York

#12 Feb 2, 2014
I don't want to sound bias but SRD won this. Mmb you have the concept of writing certain categories like puns, metaphors, multis, but all you need is to craft and develop to become better with your piece. And it was a mistake to think of your rhymes during class when you're going to face SRD, he's someone you need to take time on.
Anyways:
Flow: definitely SRD. Mmb your rhymes were long and a bit stretched. In the future try avoiding rambling your lines and bars because the reader will lose focus and interest when reading your drop. Also if you have longer lines, the reader will lose the sense of your flow, which is no good. If you have a line where it's long, try breaking it up into a bar instead of a line. It helps.
Punches: SRD has this one. His was Dope! Mmb you did have puns but they were already said. Like Beach and seamen, they are were already made up, try coming up with new ones.
Multis: SRD. He always comes packed with multis, competition to me lml but mmb because of your long lines sometimes I couldn't find some words that rhymed. You need to take more time to think of words that rhyme. I know that you know how to rhyme. But with multis its 3-more syllable rhyming in a consistent paste. And one more thing celebate is pronounced (cell-a-bit).couldn't rhyme with celebrate or fornicate.
Simile: SRD. I like that one from him "your bars bouncing like a rubber check at dinner time" . Lmao I found it funny.

Mmb you're decent, I feel if you structure your bars better, develop your pen game a bit you would be a dope mc here. Stick around and you'll see that you will improve. If you decide to leave because you feel your losing to much, well 1 that's just cowards move and it won't get you better. I lost to SRD like 1 or 2 times then I finally beat him. I lost to shini twice. I lost to seanny t twice then I finally beat him and I lost to HHH once. I lost a lot here but look at me, I hold 2 titles. Stay and you'll get better, I guarantee it. But you need to be determined to get better, if you aren't clear with anything ask, SRD, shini ( a lot), HHH, etc will help you. And btw I liked your very first line, I was like "Damn this might be dope", but then it fell off. If you learn how to be consistent with your bars like what you wrote the 1st line, you will be tough competition. But it all takes time.

And SRD... I have nothing to say to you lol dope as always. And tbh I'm actually looking forward to facing you in the punchline tourny than the others, its just a bunch but good luck anyways bro,

“Divide and conquer ”

Since: Mar 13

Brooklyn, New York

#13 Feb 2, 2014
I meant *hunch but yeaa good luck and sorry mbb lmfao I was reading shini then I posted mine and he sort of influenced me to put mmb lol I just read that after I put mine but yea mistakes can change the meaning so hope you understand
MBb

Europe

#14 Feb 2, 2014
Phaze the Great wrote:
I meant *hunch but yeaa good luck and sorry mbb lmfao I was reading shini then I posted mine and he sort of influenced me to put mmb lol I just read that after I put mine but yea mistakes can change the meaning so hope you understand
No sweat man!...and thank you for that...
SomeRandomDude

Post Falls, ID

#15 Feb 2, 2014
MMB, if you learned how to structure your lines and how to count syllables, you would be a lot farther.

I must say this though, the semen(seaman) pun I ruined for everyone in the future. I flipped that thing 15 times in one verse... lmao.
Ash

Singapore, Singapore

#16 Feb 3, 2014
Those movies that SRD mentioned are actually my top movies. So for mind fucking me, he gets my vote. Hahahaha I joking. But I'm not joking. As in he does get my vote but not for that. I'm not gonna get too detailed cuz Phaze and Shini already did most of it. MBb, firstly, I got your name right. Secondly I like the way you write better than SRD's, it's more fun, more lively and more exciting to read. When you read SRD's you know it's much better but you don't have fun reading it. I don't know why. Maybe it's cuz I'm f*cked up...
MBb

Europe

#17 Feb 4, 2014
Sweet..I've lost this one.. anyways SRD is way better than me.. not that i'm feeling sorry for myself and my thanks to Shini And Phaze...what you said guys meant a lot..that's the sh!t that will keep me going even though i'm hell busy right now i will drop now and then and thanks to you Ash...Finally to SRD (you're dope man...)

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