MR. FLAMES VS RHYME JAR horrocore rou...

MR. FLAMES VS RHYME JAR horrocore round 1

Posted in the Hip-Hop Forum

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#1 Oct 6, 2013
okay flames spit first

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#2 Oct 6, 2013
starin' straight through my cornea WAITIN for RIGHT TIME TO CORNER YA
and i'm MAKIN THE RIGHT RHYMES TO SLAUGHTER YA now I'M ONTO YA

i've been wicked since my childhood i used to cut my veins and make my dad's LADY STARE!
(mommy! look at this)
while other kids were watching Dora The Explorer i was busy MACHETE-ing my TEDDY BEAR!

MR. FLAMES! i don't need to PROVE IT what i say in my records i actually DO IT
that means i'm eatin' your prego girl with her fetus then i'm gonna bathe in her RED FLUID!

my machete has become rusty, it looks like it's time to kill, it can do things that GUN DO
stab your back this killer needs to get back on track attach machete on my d!ck and butt-FUUK YOU!

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#3 Oct 6, 2013
Kk I'm just starting it will be done soon
Hannibal Brca

Singapore, Singapore

#4 Oct 6, 2013
Shit rhyme jar. That was the best rap I've heard from you. That was very creative. Good job man good job. No pressure on mr flames. I'm just you know, I'm... Nvm sorry

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#5 Oct 6, 2013
a goal to anilate any murderer in my empty presence
Cuz I'm a "death note" killing with every f@%ing sentence

My rain starts by injecting vials of acid in his neck as I'm pullling out his heart
The pain of arts is when my eyes darken and I break each and every body part

I'm a shinigami dark knight made of steel untouchable just call me stainless
Rhymes a puppy he don't bark right [email protected] a machete he knows hes f%#ing ,.aimless

I'm the deadliest Assassin , with a lab full of heads and guess who's next
I swim in the bloodiest acid , with red eyes that never rest 

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#6 Oct 6, 2013
I have a problem with posting these lyrics I've heard quite a few ppl had been accused of murdering because. Of rap lyrics and I don't wanna be accused of anything even tho I'm innocent

Since: Oct 13

United States

#7 Oct 6, 2013
justin bieber > both

like, really?! both of these are horrible. you're putting me in the halloween spirit by making me say, "boo."
Chitown

Chicago, IL

#8 Oct 6, 2013
eLEHMANater wrote:
justin bieber > both
like, really?! both of these are horrible. you're putting me in the halloween spirit by making me say, "boo."
Let's battle

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#9 Oct 7, 2013
Hannibal Brca wrote:
Shit rhyme jar. That was the best rap I've heard from you. That was very creative. Good job man good job. No pressure on mr flames. I'm just you know, I'm... Nvm sorry
thank you hannibal that feedback means a lot to me thank you!

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#10 Oct 7, 2013
votes up! feallas

Since: Oct 13

United States

#11 Oct 7, 2013
Chitown wrote:
<quoted text>
Let's battle
set up the thread and throw something at me.
Rhyme Jar wrote:
votes up! feallas
it was hard to decide which one was worse, but..
rhyme > flame

rhyme, you had a good balance of horrorcore and flow - at least if i read it right in my head. you need to work on keeping the beat and timing consistent. i had to read it several times before i understood what the beat was.

and flame, the vocabulary and word play is there, but you focused too much on the gory part. it seems like you tried to throw a bunch of violent words or phrases together and it didn't fit well with the flow.
Shini

Seongnam, Korea

#12 Oct 7, 2013
Flow RJ His was a bit better.
Gore RJ His dipictions were way better. His gore was easier to catch. Flames had nice vocab, but this is all about imagery. I can picture Jar cutting his veins and wiping it on his Teddy Bear then dismembering your girl, but yours I was like get to the point.
Storytelling RJ He had a decent story going. Flames didn't start off with it. In a four bar drop the story has to start quickly. So this was a no-brainer for me.You could of had something the second bar but then ya just fisseled.
Multis-one scheme sounded like Eminem from Jars side. The second third and forth were good though. RJ
Dismemberment Flames had more description towards this. Notebly the 2nd bar.
Enjoyment- These weren't over the top but from a horrorcore perspective I enjoyed RJs a bit more. The 3am-esque writing is okay, but you want to be original, not a Jarren Benton or Eminem clone. You can get inspired by them but an MC should be more expressive with the creativity. I did enjoy the placenta bar with the teddy bear if you're goin the comical route.

MVGT Rhyme Jar

PS bring something I haven't seen before. Get Tromaville gory.
Hannibal Barca

Singapore, Singapore

#13 Oct 7, 2013
Rhyme jar was better but flame did a really good job too. Would have won me.

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#14 Oct 8, 2013
eLEHMANater wrote:
<quoted text>
set up the thread and throw something at me.
<quoted text>
it was hard to decide which one was worse, but..
rhyme > flame
rhyme, you had a good balance of horrorcore and flow - at least if i read it right in my head. you need to work on keeping the beat and timing consistent. i had to read it several times before i understood what the beat was.
and flame, the vocabulary and word play is there, but you focused too much on the gory part. it seems like you tried to throw a bunch of violent words or phrases together and it didn't fit well with the flow.
i love critics and your one of them thank you! for telling me all the flaws next time in my 6bars you'll see a better version and class of rap

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