Toughluck Punchline Title battle: Nia...

Toughluck Punchline Title battle: Niatroh vs. Phaze

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“RRC (previous name).”

Since: Jun 13

Huntsville

#1 Dec 17, 2013
Here it is

“RRC (previous name).”

Since: Jun 13

Huntsville

#2 Dec 17, 2013
ToughLove**
I'm pretty sure auto correct is my least favorite application on the phone, but without it I would send some messed up texts, so I guess it's also the most needed for me.
Shini

Seongnam, Korea

#3 Dec 17, 2013
Lmao at the auto-correct.

12 bars. They should be all punchlines.
Each punchline will be graded from 1 to 5 points with feedback.
Biting is an auto DQ.
Please drop on time because that is 24 bars to grade.
It is like boxing: the person with the highest point count wins.
Each person has 4 days.
If one person drops and the other person ho shows that person will automatically get the win.

“RRC (previous name).”

Since: Jun 13

Huntsville

#6 Dec 19, 2013
I don't mean to be a nuisance but could we start the time Saturday? Or after Christmas break? I haven't had a chance to work on my diss at all due to finals and now we have Christmas. Idk if ill be able to complete in time.
Shini

Seoul, Korea

#7 Dec 20, 2013
Niatroh wrote:
I don't mean to be a nuisance but could we start the time Saturday? Or after Christmas break? I haven't had a chance to work on my diss at all due to finals and now we have Christmas. Idk if ill be able to complete in time.
I'll give you both the weekend.

“RRC (previous name).”

Since: Jun 13

Huntsville

#8 Dec 20, 2013
Shini wrote:
<quoted text>I'll give you both the weekend.
Thanks

“Divide and conquer ”

Since: Mar 13

Brooklyn, New York

#10 Dec 21, 2013
haha good luck to Niatroh.
lets do this bro..

Homie you could be a p-nis hole and still couldn't "bust."
It's a knockout wherever I decide to put the "punch." 1

Cause bro i'll be delivering more "punches" than a fighter fighting.
Homie I got more "bars" than Rykers Island. 2

You thought you can take me out but bro I'm still writin' it/ right in it.
I make people say "OMG" like I was a Christ image. 3

This ain't even a "close" battle, buddy I'm "far" deadly.
Even if I sing I can kill it, boy I can harm any/ harmony. 4

Niatroh is shattered to pieces, after I "broke" his face.
No "heir", but minds/mine's a whirlwind and their blown away. 5

Your flow is flexible, cause every rhyme is "stretched."
This battle I'm letting my evil loose, no matter how tight my "vice grip" gets. 6

Homie I'm the "bomb", and I'm just firing the coordinates.
Your rhyming "stinks", and I'm here supplying deodorant. 7

You want to spit some heavy and dope s-it heres the weigh in/ way in, but you have light bars.
take a "chill pill", apparently Niatroh needs viagra just to "try hard!" 8

About to "sweep" you, cause your bars is a "mess."
I'm a sick pup, can't treat me because its been a year and you still aren't a vet. 9

No wonder you aren't a "vet", you're giving "nursery" rhymes.
Bro you ain't "sick", you just spittin' infirmary lines. 10

Kind of drunk, after all the redrum/red rum.
I'm done with this "p-ssy", when the best c-ms/comes. 11

Peforming surgery on this "bum", cause I'm "cuttin' ass."
I'm the one who started first, but after me..nothing "last." 12

“RRC (previous name).”

Since: Jun 13

Huntsville

#11 Dec 22, 2013
3... 2... 1... Lift off....
Look in the sky it's a madman about to kill this guy multiples of times
His Names phaze and his face is twisted in a gruesome way from trying terrible lines

He spits to maim and thas cool but I spit to take your head off and make sure your blood pools
No I'm not tame and will kill any fool who said lots and watch his body thud stools

I spit like rivers with endless streams
This guy can barely pull off one diss while being mean

It'll be my luck if tries to attack with his dildo bat
Snatch the sh*t out his hands fuck him with it, for him nothing's sealed in back

You can't spit or diss what are you trying at
Move on you haven't won a title go back into hiding cat

Phazes dissing slow and spitting bold likes he's got a high viscosity
As if this is for accuracy you could say his spits off you see?

He's reps large but nothing to back it up he's a hollow cyclone
Whipping wind but no damage till my fist connects with his borrowed jawbone

Dissing tons of noobs you could say phaze is scared and lacks flows
Consider me bane, I'll pick him up and be the cause of his backbone

So call me mac lil and I do not lack in fact ill be Mac lil s'mores
I've already won these next few bars could be considered mac lils more (macklemore)

Inject this fool with small pox and watch him struggle to get a doctor quick
Only did it so he could tell everyone he's a lot more sick

So what's this for why go and challenge me?
Did you expect to go and die valiantly?

Well to bad your lights out pick you up throw you like senator palpatine
F*ck you and anyone else this diss is for those who keep doubting me

“RRC (previous name).”

Since: Jun 13

Huntsville

#12 Dec 22, 2013
Thanks good luck to you too.
Shini

Seoul, Korea

#15 Dec 23, 2013
I have it Phaze 37 to Niatroh 31.

The set up and punchline should relate to each other like brother and sister.

“Divide and conquer ”

Since: Mar 13

Brooklyn, New York

#16 Dec 23, 2013
can you point out your least favorite and most favorite pun from both of us? I want too see where I went weak and went in strong

“RRC (previous name).”

Since: Jun 13

Huntsville

#17 Dec 23, 2013
Phaze the Great wrote:
can you point out your least favorite and most favorite pun from both of us? I want too see where I went weak and went in strong
I vouch for this, I'd like to see where I messed up
Hannibal Barca

Singapore, Singapore

#19 Dec 26, 2013
Ok, I can't vote but I'm still gonna give my thoughts even if it doesn't mean shit to anyone but... I'm going to use the old way of rating cuz I don't like the new one so...

Phaze I love how 'rhyme' line if you read it carefully it does rhyme at all but when you put it in a sentence and the way you used it it actually rhymes which I thought was cool cuz it reminds me of eminem who morphed words together or splits em up to make it rhyme which is very creative. I also like your word play such as harm any/harmony... But this spit wasn't really an insult aimed spit. To me you kinda went for better lyrics and wordplay and stuff which is unique so I like that. You didn't end well but I liked line 8 the best.(although it doesn't apply to her) I didn't like line 7 as the second part had no relationship but that's ok

Niatroh,you're super good at dissing and it showed it in this one(in a rap way not hate way). The flow wasn't clear but flow isn't a priority. Niatroh your last line is a killer and I love it. Like eminems rap god or BIG's juicy. I really liked your last line it's like a final bang but nvm. Also line 3 cuz it's true BUT

Niatroh had far superior punchlines
Phaze had way better word play, rhymes and flow

Phaze gets it for me only cuz of his amazing wordplay and flow. But work on your punchlines
You may have one this but I think the punchlines are very important.

Here's my 2cents worth input, doesn't mean anything if you don't want it to.
Hannibal Barca

Singapore, Singapore

#20 Dec 26, 2013
Auto correct f*cked my over in the first line. I meant to say that your words are not supposed to rhyme at all but the way you put it it actually rhymes which I think is cool
Hannibal Barca

Singapore, Singapore

#21 Dec 26, 2013
Niatroh Im not saying that your wordplay and flow isn't great but I didn't see it in this one. I really like your rhymes and wordplay. But your flows just not there.
It's weird of me judging you guys cuz I'm no where near both of you guys. ;P but potato right?
Shini

United States

#22 Jan 2, 2014
Hannibal Barca wrote:
Auto correct f*cked my over in the first line. I meant to say that your words are not supposed to rhyme at all but the way you put it it actually rhymes which I think is cool
Give them a score out of 60. Each bar is worth a maximum of 5 points.
Hannibal Barca

Fort Lauderdale, FL

#23 Jan 3, 2014
Phaze
2,4,3,5,2,4,3,1,5,4,3,3
But because of your rhyme, plus 5 then word play plus 5 so total is 49

Niatroh
5,4,4,5,3,4,4,2,1,3,2,5
But because of your punchlines plus 10 but your flow wasn't there so minus 5 so total is 47

But if its just solely based on lines which is something I don't like cuz this system takes no account for flow. Wordplay, punchlines, effectiveness and rhyme can be rated with this system but flow is also important and this system of voting does not allow one to access that. Cuz if you don't account for flow and use this system then niatroh clearly wins it at 39-42 with a 3 point lead

I don't really know how to vote using this and I hate this voting system. A new voting system dawns upon us. Grasp it at its finest

PLUS I am hve a shit load of trouble posting now on my phone. But it's my internets fault. Don't count this if you don't want it too
Shini

United States

#24 Jan 5, 2014
Hannibal Barca wrote:
Phaze
2,4,3,5,2,4,3,1,5,4,3,3
But because of your rhyme, plus 5 then word play plus 5 so total is 49
Niatroh
5,4,4,5,3,4,4,2,1,3,2,5
But because of your punchlines plus 10 but your flow wasn't there so minus 5 so total is 47
But if its just solely based on lines which is something I don't like cuz this system takes no account for flow. Wordplay, punchlines, effectiveness and rhyme can be rated with this system but flow is also important and this system of voting does not allow one to access that. Cuz if you don't account for flow and use this system then niatroh clearly wins it at 39-42 with a 3 point lead
I don't really know how to vote using this and I hate this voting system. A new voting system dawns upon us. Grasp it at its finest
PLUS I am hve a shit load of trouble posting now on my phone. But it's my internets fault. Don't count this if you don't want it too
No it does. I gave low scores for throwaways. This focuses on punchlines though. If you have good flow and wordplay the punch rating should be better, but if they don't connect well it is an auto 1. The set-up/punch should be like brother and sister: they should relate.

“RRC (previous name).”

Since: Jun 13

Huntsville

#25 Jan 5, 2014
Shini do you mind giving bar by bar break downs? I understand the bars not relating but I'm not 100% sure what I messed up on. So next month phaze can cough my title up and hand it back.
Shini

United States

#26 Jan 5, 2014
Niatroh wrote:
Shini do you mind giving bar by bar break downs? I understand the bars not relating but I'm not 100% sure what I messed up on. So next month phaze can cough my title up and hand it back.
I was at first thrown off by your comment. Then I realized Topix deleted my 2 comments and hour of commentary. It took an hour because my smartphone hates the coding here.

I actually did provided scores for each bar, with commentary and explained what was good or bad about them.

I had them typed up and am not sure if I want to do it again. The final scores came from the evaluation's total. If I do it again I will not attach a. score to the bars because I do not want to accidently contradict my judgement of them.

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