freestyle battle, spit it! (raps only)

“serious about music , love rap”

Since: Oct 12

Huntsville

#35528 Oct 31, 2013
SomeRandomDude wrote:
Liquid, get over yourself.

R.R.C., I've told people before. You throw away help and it won't be given.
You know I wouldn't throw away help!!

“facebook.com/tre .tru”

Since: Nov 08

Yo Mom's Mouth

#35529 Oct 31, 2013
SomeRandomDude wrote:
<quoted text>
R.R.C., simplify.
Liqiud how can you beat me with these flows of mine
I went to get lunch and came back to Collumbine
You over do it, you need to simplify. You can't make anything complex until you simplify it.
Just count your syllables. Just as an example, elephant has three, giraffe has two, mississippi has four. Just count those up and use them to make your rythme. When you can hold a nice rythme, the flow comes back smoother and the bar hits harder.
^^
well well I have to Co sign on this one.. SRD is right..

“facebook.com/tre .tru”

Since: Nov 08

Yo Mom's Mouth

#35530 Oct 31, 2013
liquidflow wrote:
Random ur not on my level either
I do think ya rhymscheme is pretty Good, but your way full of yourself if you think your content is at a high level..and when SRD says simplify I dont think you get what he means soo lets see what you got go ahead and Match my bar count. and if you dont understand that part I dont think your quite ready for the Big Leagues (which isnt even here at this site)

I smell puzzy so I'll.. rip this Hoe...
when that twat leaks'the only time U'll see.. liquid Flow
think your vicious bro? ya lips gleek when you spit sh!t.
Ur 'fiendin' to get 'Fawked UP' Ur 'adDickted'..
wanna war with 'vets?'... that's Trouble I'll put that 'dawgin a muzzle I dont care what the 'B!tch' says.
Think you the Sh!t? then I cant Tutor you trick...
How the hell he bring 'In Heat' when I 'neutered the b!tch'
you aint as brutal as this, So go and hoover a D!ck
I throw my punches straight to ya chest.. Bruise up ya t!ts.
U aint got tight speaks,all U got are Rhyme 'schemes',
'fhag U suck hard!!'So all ya 'Plans are Pipe dreams'..
this dude most likely aint 'bright' as some High Beams.
he's always talkin 'dumb getting stupid' No Hyphy.
the kid's just a white teen who texts from his SOFA..
'He came' for thrills, riding on the 'D!ck of Raps Roller coaster'..

FIN~

“serious about music , love rap”

Since: Oct 12

Huntsville

#35531 Oct 31, 2013
Hip Hop Hero wrote:
<quoted text>I do think ya rhymscheme is pretty Good, but your way full of yourself if you think your content is at a high level..and when SRD says simplify I dont think you get what he means soo lets see what you got go ahead and Match my bar count. and if you dont understand that part I dont think your quite ready for the Big Leagues (which isnt even here at this site)

I smell puzzy so I'll.. rip this Hoe...
when that twat leaks'the only time U'll see.. liquid Flow
think your vicious bro? ya lips gleek when you spit sh!t.
Ur 'fiendin' to get 'Fawked UP' Ur 'adDickted'..
wanna war with 'vets?'... that's Trouble I'll put that 'dawgin a muzzle I dont care what the 'B!tch' says.
Think you the Sh!t? then I cant Tutor you trick...
How the hell he bring 'In Heat' when I 'neutered the b!tch'
you aint as brutal as this, So go and hoover a D!ck
I throw my punches straight to ya chest.. Bruise up ya t!ts.
U aint got tight speaks,all U got are Rhyme 'schemes',
'fhag U suck hard!!'So all ya 'Plans are Pipe dreams'..
this dude most likely aint 'bright' as some High Beams.
he's always talkin 'dumb getting stupid' No Hyphy.
the kid's just a white teen who texts from his SOFA..
'He came' for thrills, riding on the 'D!ck of Raps Roller coaster'..

FIN~
Wow sick as always HHH!! And I see my reference :) I'm content now I don't care what flows better or whatever has to say. And SRD I think I understand now a whole lot better.
SomeRandomDude

United States

#35532 Oct 31, 2013
These are the battles I have right now.
This is waiting for votes.
RapSwipe vs SomeRandomDude
http://m.topix.com/forum/music/hip-hop/TKLENJ...

These are ones that have no responses.
Yoyoyo vs. SomeRandomDude
http://m.topix.com/forum/music/hip-hop/TPHISU...
Seanny-T vs. SomeRandomDude
http://m.topix.com/forum/music/hip-hop/TE6QOT...
Shini vs. SomeRandomDude
http://m.topix.com/forum/music/hip-hop/T04PGK...
Phaze vs. SomeRandomDude
http://m.topix.com/forum/music/hip-hop/TNB829...
SomeRandomDude

United States

#35533 Oct 31, 2013
@ HIP HOP HERO and SHINIGAMI

Okay, so I am always looking to improve. Could I get a breakdown,(Don't care if it is in pieces) of my strengths and weaknesses. Examples of each, so new guys understand and what it will take for me to get to Elite status. I would love to get my base solidified to work on more advanced techniques.

Since: Sep 12

Dongola, IL

#35535 Oct 31, 2013
I always appreciate advice on what I could do too improve.. Knowing my strengths an weaknesses helps me get better, so I dont make the same stupid newbie mistakes over an over again..
SomeRandomDude

United States

#35536 Oct 31, 2013
Silent, uf they break mine down, you'll have a lot a information. I write fairly complex compared to a majority of writers, so the breakdown with hand out lots of advice.
Blueberry

Bastrop, TX

#35537 Nov 1, 2013
Aight. Lets hit it up

My name is bluberry

Yea u know me

Im better than you, I put you on hold

Dude, yo rhyme nasty as a dirt road

Those bars you got need some freebreze

So stop rappin, get off yo knees

Ur better off just cuttin some trees

Another thing, yo stuff ain't funny

But mine, is sweeter than honey

New day, im still da best

Killin u so bad im on house arrest

If sucking was a crime

You'd do alot of time

U like a bad punchline to a vine

I sound as good as a windchime

But ur's, sour as a lime

Im done for now

I gave u a plow

bye-bye, CHOW CHOW
Shini

Korea

#35538 Nov 1, 2013
SomeRandomDude wrote:
@ HIP HOP HERO and SHINIGAMI
Okay, so I am always looking to improve. Could I get a breakdown,(Don't care if it is in pieces) of my strengths and weaknesses. Examples of each, so new guys understand and what it will take for me to get to Elite status. I would love to get my base solidified to work on more advanced techniques.
I think your vocabulary and flow is pretty good. You should try to make sure the set up and punch is easy to relate to in a battle. Your storytelling could be improved upon. There are some people that are good at it. Phaze is one of them. Seanny T is another one as well.

Metaphorically the audience should be able to relate to what you're talking about. Expos should be easy to get. It's the double entendres that need to be explained well. Sometimes when you drop something out in left field it will need an expo.

“facebook.com/tre .tru”

Since: Nov 08

Yo Mom's Mouth

#35539 Nov 1, 2013
SomeRandomDude wrote:
@ HIP HOP HERO and SHINIGAMI
Okay, so I am always looking to improve. Could I get a breakdown,(Don't care if it is in pieces) of my strengths and weaknesses. Examples of each, so new guys understand and what it will take for me to get to Elite status. I would love to get my base solidified to work on more advanced techniques.
Looklike you've really been trying to help these Noobs out .. so I'll do 1 for ya..

Yo Yo Yo, you'll miss it if you drop it, rope cut.
You're not listening. Damn, Yo Yo's not rolled up,
^^
Nice entry cool meta and nameplay ..I always prescribe
to starting the verse with a strong line to grab the readers/listeners attention

he's out and I'm on a roll. Ya I just out rolled a Yo-Yo. YO
Ya know, no obstacle can stop my flow. Know those
Foes blow, just fans unable to blow the smoke.
No mirror exist, the gist is, below ya whole
^^^
well it looks like these lines need to be grouped to get the
"gist" of the meta I did feel the nameplay more than the main
punch but at least it had a Punch to it.. I liked that all 4 lines
continued a train of thought..

Spit is just a kid admiring this wicked sh!t.
Droppin' Jaws, when I'm jumping Jack an' Rippin' lists.
^^^
Okay so looks like your lines are all packing some type of
entendree ...not bad

No candle's hot enough to bestow this evil nitch.
I'll live the stake, enchant you and end this sh!t.
Yet we haven't come close to the credits, face it b!tch.
Even if you ignite the forest, I'll shed light on this syndicate.
^^^
yeah this was pretty well thought out all the way to the "face it b!tch line..only thing that couldve made the punch stronger would be ending the concept on the last line..unless
the syndicate line refers to some horror flick I havent seen

Too cold to burn, I'm a Snowdenman, Educating the public.
My (Dedicated Illness Continually Kills) I mean my D.!.C.K. now suck it.
Deep in ya throat is chocolate with my name in it. See,
my name is Zachary, schooling you at Clark University.
^^
I liked the snowden reference Im not a fan of the Acronym style punch
but thats a preference thing..

The diversity in which I murder these; has me currently,
murdering wannabe M.C.'s like they're ropeless Yo-Yos. Certainly
ya missed it at first. Beautifully modeling the art ya see.
Yo Yo's a deformed hobbit. Ya, I'm battling a halfing.
^^^
these are lil jabs , try not to end lines with see unless its part of a larger Multi..

I'm the white ya suckin' on, but skin color doesn't mean a thing.
Why,'cause Yo Yo I'm damaging your Ego, while my lyrics are fastening.
Blockin' ya from lines, like your flow was just you imagining.
Diggin' through your lyrics, an' archeologist scavenging.
^^^
okay heres your triple syll Multi run..the last line was a decent metaphor

Battling a Knight as Dark as me will leave me laughing.
Multiple personalities, will have me a crazy clown worth battling.
Ya your at bat choking, joking thinking your a joker. Asking
when it'll all be over, but there's no bottom to my bag o' tricks.
^^^
well this was actually pretty well strung together continued the 'Meta for' 4 bars
conceptually this was nice kinda just self hype so it doesnt hit as strongly as a Pun aimed at Ridiculing Ur opponent.. I still liked it tho

Yo Yo's day-zed like a empty mattress. Tell me, have you had it kid?
Like Magic Johnson's Johnson, you suck at this magic sh!t.
^^^
okay simple to the point direct with a nice twist on the Punch Nice..

Yo Yo's a fat [email protected]@rd, fatter than fat [email protected]@rd. Slurplin' turds,
cuppin' a CUP between TWO GIRLS like, "Man, I found it first!"
^^^
I really am not fond of the set up, but I thought the Punchline
gave it enough oomph.. coo.

this takes a while so I wont do every script you have but I will say this is the best
I've read from you.. way to level up...
Iconstat

United States

#35540 Nov 1, 2013
Hip hop hero your game has No vocab,
Those simple words are limited like a leash,a home grown cat.
Cuz yah ain't a dawg not with your fluffy bunny up under,
Shave that pu-c get drunk call your uncle up for a midnight love hump bird.
Your lines are boring and stale like old hot chips,
Prepare for a war my bars hit the floor like my dope, strongest.
Take a sec and re read my words as fresh is spelled,
I'm racing myself No limit's my level you stayed with held.
Most tell me this thing you got is impressive made,
Doing me professionaly as o watch the 666 percentage hate away.
Iconstat

United States

#35541 Nov 1, 2013
Get at me

“facebook.com/tre .tru”

Since: Nov 08

Yo Mom's Mouth

#35542 Nov 1, 2013
Iconstat wrote:
Hip hop hero your game has No vocab,
Those simple words are limited like a leash,a home grown cat.
Cuz yah ain't a dawg not with your fluffy bunny up under,
Shave that pu-c get drunk call your uncle up for a midnight love hump bird.
Your lines are boring and stale like old hot chips,
Prepare for a war my bars hit the floor like my dope, strongest.
Take a sec and re read my words as fresh is spelled,
I'm racing myself No limit's my level you stayed with held.
Most tell me this thing you got is impressive made,
Doing me professionaly as o watch the 666 percentage hate away.
haha LMFAO Seriously? Ur joking right.... This better not be SRD because if it is you just dropped ten levels...haha fyi Ur location is exactly the same..

“facebook.com/tre .tru”

Since: Nov 08

Yo Mom's Mouth

#35543 Nov 1, 2013
and if not I just dropped 8 bars up there for you to Bite...eat up guy!!
SomeRandomDude

United States

#35544 Nov 1, 2013
Someone has a similar location as me? O.o

Oh, is it Tony? Hmmm, maybe you can help him out.

I could do straight storytelling, imagery and hard punches. I have just been pushing my linguistic ability as far as I can though, I might switch it up to storytelling.

“facebook.com/tre .tru”

Since: Nov 08

Yo Mom's Mouth

#35545 Nov 1, 2013
SomeRandomDude wrote:
Someone has a similar location as me? O.o
Oh, is it Tony? Hmmm, maybe you can help him out.
I could do straight storytelling, imagery and hard punches. I have just been pushing my linguistic ability as far as I can though, I might switch it up to storytelling.
well i dont know him but he needs ALOT of help..anyway theres ya breakdown.. hope it helps doesnt look like you need it anymore tho..any other issues would probably boil down to preference..
SomeRandomDude

United States

#35546 Nov 1, 2013
I don't need help? Hmmm, Elite Status getting close?

“RRC (previous name).”

Since: Jun 13

Huntsville

#35547 Nov 1, 2013
Hip Hop Hero wrote:
<quoted text>well i dont know him but he needs ALOT of help..anyway theres ya breakdown.. hope it helps doesnt look like you need it anymore tho..any other issues would probably boil down to preference..
What could I work on HHH? Just so I can get better and improve my game cause I think the Punchline battles are coming up and I'm the current holder and intend to stay that way. So I want to improve my game to be able to kill this tourney!

“facebook.com/tre .tru”

Since: Nov 08

Yo Mom's Mouth

#35548 Nov 1, 2013
well basically you know what needs to be done with your writes, so the only thing more I could do to help you is rewrite your verses, which defeats the purpose imo.. you just need to figure how to apply what you've learned to refining your scripts... some things will just take repitition to perfect the procedure..

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