freestyle battle, spit it! (raps only)
im Yawnin B

Minneapolis, MN

#34194 Jul 12, 2013
"bahaha dude get a life, phaggot"
seanny t the novice ain't spittin in my bracket
the fact that you actin axe when yer rappin jus doesn't hack it
is bat shit. still the same doo dude
whinin' in paragaraphs but no rhymin'. lyin'. guess he don't care to rap?
wutta coo coo, bird. losers yoohoo for coco nuts
the blacker the asses the more the puto'll go for butts
comin' at me? ima dodge it. no dick for this fam
yer lame and your Scrawny T, change the name up for this man!
ps. seanny's lines are a fallacy, praisin' phallus is calgary

Since: May 13

Florence, SC

#34195 Jul 12, 2013
im Yawnin B wrote:
"bahaha dude get a life, phaggot"
seanny t the novice ain't spittin in my bracket
the fact that you actin axe when yer rappin jus doesn't hack it
is bat shit. still the same doo dude
whinin' in paragaraphs but no rhymin'. lyin'. guess he don't care to rap?
wutta coo coo, bird. losers yoohoo for coco nuts
the blacker the asses the more the puto'll go for
butts
comin' at me? ima dodge it. no dick for this fam
yer lame and your Scrawny T, change the name
up for this man!
ps. seanny's lines are a fallacy, praisin' phallus is
calgary
allow me.......

this is a poet's slaughter, vomitin holy water, I'm the " Devil ",
y'all come rescue this poor old lady " stuck on an elevator ", this catt is " not on my level "
Epitaph his coloring book, and this bitch " better not get outta line "
we'll see how you " stand your ground " after I rip out your spine
bitch, I'm the " shit ", ryhmez you spittin at me are just an " enema " for me to " spitt it out "
youre a good honey boo boo  impersonator, cause all you do is " bitch and pout "
this forum is like my " fruit stand, " dont make me " pick you out "
I'll send you to hell with such an ass whippin, Satan will disown you and kick you out
instead of a " fallen angel ", you'll be more like a " risin demon "
I'm the type to braid your arteries around your windpipe while your screamin
none of your barz move me, your verse is like a giant " pause button "
stay the fuck outta Topix's ocean, my new name is Jaws, and im huntin 
Seanny T

Canada

#34196 Jul 12, 2013
Lmao same name calling that everyone has done. "scrawny t" is old news come up with a new diss/name flip phaggot. Oh wait, all your good at is just taking something and changing it slightly to come off like a smart @ss. But what you really come off as is a douche. Elevate your game before i reply, ur honestly not worth my time. Besides i dont wanna put my time and effort in and then have you leave this site faster then SWAG did haha or like you did last time. Im thinking your just mad that us vets and elites are better, so you flip our names and diss us trying to be a troll, or be a idiot im not sure which one. Point is, no one really cares bud. Your all talk no bite. And lmao at you saying i dont post raps, dude i only take real mc's on, not fakes like you. Get off our nuts man! Hahaha. And plz stop taking the last line of what we say to start ur sh1tty freestyle-esque writtens...its not making you 'better'. But i guarantee you will take the end of this too so have fun with this one:
.
You'll be sorry you dissed me by the end of the month...

“facebook.com/tre .tru”

Since: Nov 08

Yo Mom's Mouth

#34197 Jul 12, 2013
Gift Shop Zero wrote:
"lmk if you have any questions"
well then hey perhaps lemme suggest one
(finger to the chest) i'll letya pick the right or left lung!!?
get tongue tied. one inch punch'll crunch his lunch
sewage workers couldn't touch this funk
boutta rush this punk. flush this chump
like catchin a prostitue ima bust his hump
n tan that hide, ma grab me the belt
n watch me tag ma name in curvise cross yer ass wit the welts...
:)
umm cool rhymescheme..but ...
get a real profile name or I wont answer you again.. [email protected] ZERO!!haha

it only took 8 lines for ya azz to fail..
U need hard bars to feel like 'Ur back in jail.'(getting reamed)
So watch me Lockdown this phag-ets doubt's.
he knows he's gettin Fawked back to front... Azz to Mouth.
wants me to cume with my reply qwik 'blast'em out'
Bag ya body in 'Trailer trash' like Im at ya house.
that zero really needs better gifts, shop at target
fawkin with this vet.. dawg!! ya bound to get ya Balls snipped..

“facebook.com/tre .tru”

Since: Nov 08

Yo Mom's Mouth

#34198 Jul 12, 2013
Seanny T wrote:
Hey the phaggot who takes someones name and uses words that rhyme with it is back. Dude, everyone hates you, gtfo.
haha I seriously think this guys just some groupie stalker type..
that comes sniffing around my balls cuz that Puzzy is feeling so 'empty inside' hahaha ..

nah I've come accustomed to douchebags like him ANONIMOUSLY taking shots I knew it was gonna happen soon I could smell the vinegar...lmao that's OK he'll always hide cause he's just to scared to show who he really is.. stay in the closet man it's safer for you..
thats

Since: May 13

Florence, SC

#34199 Jul 12, 2013
I'm confused..... Clones........the now ? Whyyyyyyyyy????????

Since: May 13

Florence, SC

#34201 Jul 12, 2013
My homie Seanny T outta all ppl, clone Swag bitch ass, and try reincarnating his image
Shini

Seoul, Korea

#34203 Jul 12, 2013
Yo I dropped meh bars.

Look for Shini vs. Nitroh in the hip-hop section.

Nitroh has the advantage seeing how I went first. This is how ya "push buttons."
Shini

Seoul, Korea

#34204 Jul 12, 2013
Some Random Dude

United States

#34205 Jul 13, 2013
Shini, I have been switching bars between simple and complex, but how do I intertwine them together?
Shini

Seoul, Korea

#34206 Jul 13, 2013
Some Random Dude wrote:
Shini, I have been switching bars between simple and complex, but how do I intertwine them together?
Sorry that's just one of those things that's hard for me to explain. I tend to go with feeling rather than complexity, although I do try to make complicated that they can't easily be written or imitated. I try to go with lines that will get a reaction rather than something that'll go over their heads.

If I want to flow more, my lines tend to be simpler. If I have a rhythm in my head the complicated material usually comes out. I try to aim to win every category, but often times that isn't possible unless I am facing an opponent that is so many degrees below me. But I write like I want every category. You can use wordplay with multies or a punch with a scheme so as long as it feels right.
Anonymous

Jarrow, UK

#34207 Jul 13, 2013
Hip Hop Hero wrote:
aight I'll do this for you ONCE just cause you seem to be fairly humble and honest seems like you may take advice..Imma be honest so you get what I'm saying... No Hate Im just trying to help youo eleveat...here we go..
"Luc-ID"
see you expired 6 years ago, what a catastrophe,
spitting in the face of a god swearing, now that's just utter blaspheme,
^^
I get the concept, not sure where your flow is tho... if its a steady flo id say your just 2 and a half syllables over.. the line was aight tho
messed up like sleeping with a family member,
that my friend is what you call incest, so always solemnly remember,
^^^
the setup line holds more impact than the punch line..this makes it lose its heat... the concept could be decent if worded right.
never beat around the bush, just went straight for the centre, should of terminated your mama's placenta,
^^
Im starting to lose your cadence due to the structure.. the concept is potentially FIRE.. but alas the setup line has more sting than the Punchline again.maybe (you should've been terminated in ya mommas Placenta!!)
well before she gladly let your father enter, still rhyming cold like it's winter, in every state so scratch that 'hell-no'
^^^
filler
cause frankly I don't care where you been to, getting better, need to shear a sheep then knit yourself a sweater,
^^^
lol no at least say your rhymes are sharp enough to sheer a sheep so knit yaself a sweater idk..haha the conceptb is soft to work with
lyrically killing, blowing off the ceiling, a legend playing around with some pussies, so appealing,
^^^
uhm this couldve been a fairly brutal punch with the right wording...
your just a busy bum, with a 'jizzy' numb, throat, rocking the boat, swallowing mad_Mike whole, I think you're an a'hole,
^^^
need to link Ur concept better 'swallowing mad mike whole? That Fags in ya a'hole'" i guess.. at least the punchline is stronger than the setup line..
let that turn of phrase take it's erm toll, kicking bitches in the uterus, bring back Rosa Parks so she can shoot up the bus,
^^^^
Close.. uhm I like what your trying to do here almost a hit the rosa parks could use a lil less vagueness but that might be just a style preference..
forget that like a past relationship, from another planet on some grade A* alien shit.
^^^^
take this type of line for instance this is dope as a freestyle no doubt.. now try thinking does relationship have anything to do with grade A the planet connection is solid but if you linked some kinda High grade , term paper, college something in the first line it just makes the punchline UNDENIABLE..
Please be advised I'm speaking from a TEXT battle standpoint.. you are already a dope rhymer.. This takes nothing away from that.. what I'm saying isnt the Holy Grail of Rap.. But these are the BASIC points of developing a punchline rhyme style conducive to Rap battles..Do I do that with everyline?.. Not as much as I'd like to,.. we all need practice.. lmk if you have any questions
oh shit man. thank you for briefly breaking down my rap into chunks. nobody could of went through it better than you did. after taking a deep introspective look at it.

you should have recently gotten the idea that I really respect you as I do. to be sincerely honest with you there is a fairly obese variety of questions to ask.

1. What can I do to improve on my flow?

2. How can I find better words, metaphors and similies, punches, etc?

3. How would I be able to estimate the exact bar count?

4. How can I transform into a better lyricist and storyteller?

5. Would you not mind being something of a mentor just to try and help me escalate into a stronger artist?

Basically I just want step-by-step instructions as to what can make me a lot stronger.
Anonymous

Jarrow, UK

#34208 Jul 13, 2013
Hip Hop Hero wrote:
aight I'll do this for you ONCE just cause you seem to be fairly humble and honest seems like you may take advice..Imma be honest so you get what I'm saying... No Hate Im just trying to help youo eleveat...here we go..
"Luc-ID"
see you expired 6 years ago, what a catastrophe,
spitting in the face of a god swearing, now that's just utter blaspheme,
^^
I get the concept, not sure where your flow is tho... if its a steady flo id say your just 2 and a half syllables over.. the line was aight tho
messed up like sleeping with a family member,
that my friend is what you call incest, so always solemnly remember,
^^^
the setup line holds more impact than the punch line..this makes it lose its heat... the concept could be decent if worded right.
never beat around the bush, just went straight for the centre, should of terminated your mama's placenta,
^^
Im starting to lose your cadence due to the structure.. the concept is potentially FIRE.. but alas the setup line has more sting than the Punchline again.maybe (you should've been terminated in ya mommas Placenta!!)
well before she gladly let your father enter, still rhyming cold like it's winter, in every state so scratch that 'hell-no'
^^^
filler
cause frankly I don't care where you been to, getting better, need to shear a sheep then knit yourself a sweater,
^^^
lol no at least say your rhymes are sharp enough to sheer a sheep so knit yaself a sweater idk..haha the conceptb is soft to work with
lyrically killing, blowing off the ceiling, a legend playing around with some pussies, so appealing,
^^^
uhm this couldve been a fairly brutal punch with the right wording...
your just a busy bum, with a 'jizzy' numb, throat, rocking the boat, swallowing mad_Mike whole, I think you're an a'hole,
^^^
need to link Ur concept better 'swallowing mad mike whole? That Fags in ya a'hole'" i guess.. at least the punchline is stronger than the setup line..
let that turn of phrase take it's erm toll, kicking bitches in the uterus, bring back Rosa Parks so she can shoot up the bus,
^^^^
Close.. uhm I like what your trying to do here almost a hit the rosa parks could use a lil less vagueness but that might be just a style preference..
forget that like a past relationship, from another planet on some grade A* alien shit.
^^^^
take this type of line for instance this is dope as a freestyle no doubt.. now try thinking does relationship have anything to do with grade A the planet connection is solid but if you linked some kinda High grade , term paper, college something in the first line it just makes the punchline UNDENIABLE..
Please be advised I'm speaking from a TEXT battle standpoint.. you are already a dope rhymer.. This takes nothing away from that.. what I'm saying isnt the Holy Grail of Rap.. But these are the BASIC points of developing a punchline rhyme style conducive to Rap battles..Do I do that with everyline?.. Not as much as I'd like to,.. we all need practice.. lmk if you have any questions
why the f*ck hasn't my reply went on.

thank you very much for all the 'constructive critism' you given. nobody could've summed it up as narrow as yourself bro. no diggity!

basically I just want step-by-step instructions as to what I can improve on to make myself a stronger aspiring mc?

also, what can I do to become a better lyricist as a whole?- to clarify that I mean how to work with better flows, similies, metaphors, punches, structure, counters and bar counts, etc.
slosshh

Saint Paul, MN

#34209 Jul 13, 2013
mad_mike im probly guessin u look like a dyke ur disliked at school u still think u cool.....shouldn't u be at dancing school.....ur wack ima bout to have asthma attack don't write back and get ur ass smacked

Since: Feb 07

Paramus, NJ

#34210 Jul 13, 2013
Hip Hop Hero wrote:
this should be pretty well in order I dont have a bunch of time for proofreading..if you have questions about my punches jus ask..
Vs yoyoyo
Fawk this Yo ho hoe, like a dick in a pirates booty
ya full of seamen, pearl smugglin pirate jewelry
The scripts you bring dont fool me, we see ya acting Bad
this week his flow is on. heavy!! hand him a maxi pad..
I got him 'bleeding, this Puzzy's leaking i smashed it bad'
to start this 'cat''running' like 'meters on a Taxi cab'
ya just a passing fad, ya know it's Tru..
Cuz in this forum duuude!...... we're already OVER YOU.
so just Motor Through.. player thinks his moves worthy
'I spew dirty on wut ya where/wear'.. like 'FAWKIN New Jersey'
You'll need a New Jersey. but you aint in the game.
unless you sayin 'ball catcher' was ya position played
You aint balling the same as spalding go back to the benches
cuz B!tches that act Ratchet I dismantle with wrenches
my style is so relentless.... I'm just pimpin the b!tch
YoYo's used to going down with the flick of my wrist
Set to turbo, broke him down, beaten red and purple
B1tch i'm yoyo, i roll around with heavy circles
That's tough, your gay jokes, I have crushed to ash dust
After all Tre/tray's use to taking [email protected]'s butts
I'm calm and sit eased/cities, like a large old borough
this [email protected] goes downtown, and only a hero in bizarro world
You aren't super, man, this b1tch is Clark Kent
Keep it street like park bench, i leave Tre behind like cigar scent
A coach in the game hater's barking up a bigga tree/bigotry,
Fathered your whole style, you should be chalking your wins TO ME
Even shaving his hairline he still couldn't hit his peak
Your a vet, but I'M the one to put this 'pu$$y b1tch' to sleep
Pork your gal, sexed her on jelly jumper, tell ya 'shorty bounce'
They say your a leader/liter, but you wouldn't have a buzz if you were 40 ounce
your ho is a known trickster,chilling with this froze spitter
over me? she said your skills are 'undermine' cause i'mma coal/cold
digger

Since: Feb 07

Paramus, NJ

#34211 Jul 13, 2013
this is yoyoyo lol. i remembered my old account information
Some Random Dude

United States

#34212 Jul 13, 2013
@Lucid

1. What can I do to improve on my flow?

I'd recommend learning basic music theory. Also, learn what syllables are and how to count them. It's syllables that make rythme.

2. How can I find better words, metaphors and similies, punches, etc?

I'd advise looking into what each are defined as and how they are created. Vocabulary comes with reading, lots and lots of reading.

3. How would I be able to estimate the exact bar count?

Estimate, you should run into it with two options. You know the count ahead of time or you don't. Structure, structure, structure.

4. How can I transform into a better lyricist and storyteller?

Listen to other rappers and read, read, read.

I also asked Shini this, only because our styles are so similar to me. However, either he thinks I won't progress under him or he isn't into taking me in. Either or I am okay with.
The Black Frank White

Ridgedale, MO

#34213 Jul 13, 2013
Dang its been A While o.o

I used to lay back, thats before I cocked the gray gat,
I stayed back, thats before I liked to slay cats,
The pockets stayed phat, the whole crew was layed back,
Stay back to back, or youd be part of the past,
Now i stay stacked, Rhymes in fact attacked,
I stay black, Thats just part of the facts,
Cant change whats made, Influence what you say,
Speech or spray, Ima handle either way,
Anyday, official,
Spit rhymes, dont pop the pistol,
Make sure the judge official,
Then decide whether to hit you,
You not heavy is you?
Done basket hoes, basket gold,
then slash the whole,
squad,
sparred on par with the rapture though,
You got that tragic flow,
Spit rhymes, or watch the chopper blow,
Pop the pistol, thats before I shot missiles
Wrapped in bristles, stacked with barb wire to rip you, Shit'll kill you,
,Remember back, Nick sat, wrapped
with the black stocking cap,
Gat packed,
Top heavy, Rocked steady, they not ready,
yoyoyo

Paramus, NJ

#34214 Jul 13, 2013
The Black Frank White wrote:
Dang its been A While o.o
I used to lay back, thats before I cocked the gray gat,
I stayed back, thats before I liked to slay cats,
The pockets stayed phat, the whole crew was layed back,
Stay back to back, or youd be part of the past,
Now i stay stacked, Rhymes in fact attacked,
I stay black, Thats just part of the facts,
Cant change whats made, Influence what you say,
Speech or spray, Ima handle either way,
Anyday, official,
Spit rhymes, dont pop the pistol,
Make sure the judge official,
Then decide whether to hit you,
You not heavy is you?
Done basket hoes, basket gold,
then slash the whole,
squad,
sparred on par with the rapture though,
You got that tragic flow,
Spit rhymes, or watch the chopper blow,
Pop the pistol, thats before I shot missiles
Wrapped in bristles, stacked with barb wire to rip you, Shit'll kill you,
,Remember back, Nick sat, wrapped
with the black stocking cap,
Gat packed,
Top heavy, Rocked steady, they not ready,
Black Frank White? your girl is the Kat Stacks type
If you rap half nice, she'll let you rampack her a$$ mad tight
The Black Frank White

Ridgedale, MO

#34215 Jul 13, 2013
yoyoyo -_-
That sh!t was NOT tight.
You talk bout @ss, and the last, you had was a guys,
You flow like cut onions, sh!t hurts my eyes.
You the cheap type,
you'd come with a water cup and fries,
and call that supersize,
I'd be surprised if you'd ever fly

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