Why are gothic people so reserved and anti-social amongst non goths?

Posted in the Gothic Forum

“Halt die klappe!”

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#1 Jan 4, 2013
From my experience through High School and now in college, the goths were always antisocial and didn't really speak really to anyone outside of the group. I am a metal head and I talk to every one. I like Gothic Culture especially Industrial Cybergothic culture and I must say that they are very reserved. What does someone like me have to do to talk to a goth person?

Since: Jan 13

Bethesda, MD

#2 Jan 11, 2013
Just don't judge. People who wear gothic attire are just people. Some feel they have to exude a certain personality to be goth but no. They simply can just be themselves. Most goths are a little reserved and untrusting of outsiders because they get judge by what they wear and not who they are so they mainly stick around with other goths. Just treat them like any other person and they will open up. Just don't fixate on their look. That is not all they are.

“Halt die klappe!”

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#3 Feb 3, 2013
ELDERGOTH wrote:
Just don't judge. People who wear gothic attire are just people. Some feel they have to exude a certain personality to be goth but no. They simply can just be themselves. Most goths are a little reserved and untrusting of outsiders because they get judge by what they wear and not who they are so they mainly stick around with other goths. Just treat them like any other person and they will open up. Just don't fixate on their look. That is not all they are.
I understand but being so reserved makes things worse. Sometimes I am afraid to talk to them, not because of the way they dress but because of the way they act. They give dirty looks to any one looking at them. If you are going to dress that flashy and goth and not expect people to look at you, then there's something wrong. One day I will get the courage to say something. I am a metal head, none of my friends are goth, they are mostly mainstream preppy kind of kids, they don't listen to cyber goth, industrial, goth or metal music like me. Some times I feel out of place, but the goth kids are some hard cookies to greet.

Since: Jan 13

Bethesda, MD

#4 Feb 8, 2013
DimmuBorgirFreak wrote:
<quoted text>
I understand but being so reserved makes things worse. Sometimes I am afraid to talk to them, not because of the way they dress but because of the way they act. They give dirty looks to any one looking at them. If you are going to dress that flashy and goth and not expect people to look at you, then there's something wrong. One day I will get the courage to say something. I am a metal head, none of my friends are goth, they are mostly mainstream preppy kind of kids, they don't listen to cyber goth, industrial, goth or metal music like me. Some times I feel out of place, but the goth kids are some hard cookies to greet.
The best way to introduce yourself to goth culture is to attend a goth themed function and just blend. They will accept you in that context. Hit a vampire ball during halloween. Not the kiddie stuff but the more adult do it all up scene like the Annie Rice Ball in New orleans or the New York Endless Night ball. Depending where you are, there is probably such an event going on. Heading straight to the club usually don't work as lookieloos like to gawk at us and expect us to just be all dark and worshiping the devil, or vampiric which is not the case at all. We like those things but that's not who we are.
juhaywhaat

Philadelphia, PA

#5 Mar 15, 2013
I had no idea other goths were like that. I thought i was the only one heh. Then again i don't know any other goths.
What would work with me is simply interacting with me as if we were already becoming friends. Having a good sense of humor is very good for breaking the ice. Don't be weird about it either and don't go over the top. If their not completly anti-social like me it will probobly work faster. Also, some goths, like many people who are not goth, can have a stick up their heiny. Don't even bother with them. Most of those types are emoscene "goths" who smell of Black Veil Brides, Eavenesenc, The cure, Popa Roach, and a hint of genuin goth or industrial music. I know because i'v experienced these...yes, POSORS who would call me a posor for wearing make-up and long hair you know, my apearence: no skinny jeans or fancy SCENE haircut or preppy(contarary to how they look their very preppy) attitude. This may be the type of "goth" your speaking of considering what you said about the dirty looks. They give you dirty looks and smirk at me. Good Luck.

“Halt die klappe!”

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#6 Apr 28, 2013
juhaywhaat wrote:
I had no idea other goths were like that. I thought i was the only one heh. Then again i don't know any other goths.
What would work with me is simply interacting with me as if we were already becoming friends. Having a good sense of humor is very good for breaking the ice. Don't be weird about it either and don't go over the top. If their not completly anti-social like me it will probobly work faster. Also, some goths, like many people who are not goth, can have a stick up their heiny. Don't even bother with them. Most of those types are emoscene "goths" who smell of Black Veil Brides, Eavenesenc, The cure, Popa Roach, and a hint of genuin goth or industrial music. I know because i'v experienced these...yes, POSORS who would call me a posor for wearing make-up and long hair you know, my apearence: no skinny jeans or fancy SCENE haircut or preppy(contarary to how they look their very preppy) attitude. This may be the type of "goth" your speaking of considering what you said about the dirty looks. They give you dirty looks and smirk at me. Good Luck.
Thanks :)

“All around goth mommy”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#7 May 4, 2013
Some of us think it's a good thing to be antisocial. We've been picked on enough.
ClosetGoth

Ashburn, VA

#8 Jun 15, 2013
I think most goths don't want to talk to people at school because the way people look at them or how some poeple would juge them.We don't talk to other people because we're afraid of how they will react or what they will do or say. We only talk to people in our groups because we know they accept us

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Gothic Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Am I goth or emo? May 21 charmi123 149
Cool jokes you may have found funny (May '08) May 7 ugly bitch 15
Which one likes me??? May 2 Maria 2
My Parents Are Judging My Style (Sep '14) Apr 28 rebelcult 38
Being Gothic Apr 26 Maria 6
Goth stereotypes... (Jul '07) Feb '15 Dreadfully Yours 349
Evolution of your goth experience Feb '15 Dreadfully Yours 11
More from around the web