Therapeutic Massage and Ejaculation

Lawrence, KS

#131 Feb 28, 2008
I think you're missing the point of Keith's email. He has a newfound spirituality. He doesn't want to give himself away for $60 an hour, especially in such a cheap and tawdry way. He is probably saving himself for one special person. Laugh at that if you choose. I guess it boils down to our view of the body: are we spiritual beings in human form, or are we simply animals, with cravings and appetites and a desire for hedonism?

People desire to save themselves for at least three reasons: a) Love and devotion directed toward a person they haven't even met yet: a spouse. b) In every major world religion, God asks that we treat our bodies with reverence and purity, which probably does not include letting strangers rub us for $. c) To try to increase their own self-worth.

I think massage is valid, but I am questioning whether it is valid for heterosexual men to receive massages from women. Ejaculations are sexual--even Bill Clinton might admit that. Deny it if you want to! If you have to ask yourself where the line is, you've already crossed it.

I read with great sadness some of these stories where some people's entire identity appears to be consumed by their sexual identity. There is so much more to life! And it is sad when people appear to steered around by their appetites. Who is in charge of you?

In some of these stories, men wonder whether a male massage therapist took liberties with their wives. This isn't the swinging seventies, folks. It's debasing. Somehow, people now accept humiliation as a good thing, and pay to receive it.

Freedom involves not being a slave to your appetites. The lack of thought some people write with on this site--with their delight in strangers helping them climax--is pornographic, and not at all what modern professional massage is supposed to be. It isn't supposed to be watered down legalized prostitution. Be free!

Perhaps heterosexual men should only receive massages from other men.
Bangkok Boy

Bangkok, Thailand

#132 Feb 29, 2008
Ejaculation isn't a crime.

Oshkosh, WI

#133 Feb 29, 2008

I am the originator of this post, and when you say ejaculations are sexual, I really think you are wrong. I can assure you when I had my ejaculation, it was not sexual at all because I was not aroused. I have been married to my wife for 7 years and she is my highschool sweetheart and the only girl I have ever had sex with. I admit some of the stories on here or a bit sexual in content, but just do not lump all who write in here with eachother!

Van Nuys, CA

#134 Mar 6, 2008
Every time I have a massage I ejaculate. It is out of my control. However, I just had two massages. One I had, the MT was very weird. She kept me fully draped. When she did my gluts, she kept me draped and maybe worked on each side maybe 5 seconds each. Which I thought was weird. She did not even do my quads. She would work my calfÂ’s and then stop at my knees. I did not even get erect at all this time or have an ejaculation, which was made me feel good that I finally had a massage without ejaculating. But I was unsatisfied during the massage. It seemed like she was rushing thru the massage avoided those areas completely, and I was not relaxed at all.

So I went to another lady the next day because I did not feel relaxed at all after that massage. So I went to a different MT, and she started on my back side. When she work on my gluts she would undrape one side and work on it and then do the other side. Well that got me aroused. And then she started to work on my inter thighs. She did not touch my genitals at all but she was close. And the made me ejaculate very quickly. She finished up my back side and then worked on my front. When she got to my quads, I began get become very erect and as she was massaging up and down my quads, I could not help but ejaculated again. I do not think the MT thought anything of it, But it seems like these areas on you are points of stimulation, I am not sure if that is something MT are aware of or not. But I have to say I am always worried about ejaculating when I get a massage, but after it happened I felt so relaxed and less up tight.

I just wonder if female MT, know this happens a lot and try to avoid that happening or do what they can to make it happen without breaking any boundaries.

Since: Mar 08

Chelsea, MA

#135 Mar 10, 2008
Early ejaculations are common in massage therapy. To learn more check-out they teach all types of massages including Shiatsu and Reflexology.

Lawrence, KS

#136 Mar 10, 2008
I appreciate what you're trying to say. I, too, spent a lot of time trying to figure out how ejaculations aren't sexual, and how I was maintaining my integrity. After all, I am a soul trapped in a body, not a just a creature doing what feels good. I want to be faithful to my spouse, God, and myself. Massage is holistic, I told myself. It's all about health.

It simply became a bridge too far. I was trying to figure out how ejaculations aren't sexual. It required intellectual backflips I couldn't take. I had to accept that I was naked or close to it, and being rubbed all over by women. Try as I might to think about something else, like the World Series or whatever, WHAM!!!!!!!

People say: maybe she's hitting a trigger point. Maybe.

Or maybe when attractive, nubile, sexy young women stroke and knead every part of a man's body (except their genitals)....

Or when slightly older but well-practiced, experienced women touch and stroke a man....

It. Is. Sexual.

The body seems to think it is, even if the mind lags behind. Kind of reminds me of my alcoholic friend who switched from white wine to beer.

Deny it if you want to.

Your wife can't be ecstatic about it.

Why not massage each other at home for free?

Again, I am in favor of massage, but am really wondering if heterosexuals should receive massages from members of the opposite sex.

Oshkosh, WI

#137 Mar 11, 2008

Sounds like you, yourself have alot of issues. The mind is a very powerful thing, that I will agree with you on, but to me they are not sexual at all. Tell me this?? When you go to the Doctor and have a physical do you get excited?? I have a very beautiful female Dr. who actually touches my genitals and I feel no sexual tension. Massage is the same way!! All how you view it in your own mind and clearly you have a problem with that and for that I am sorry. I have had many massages and only one ejaculation so I am saying mine was a trigger point!! And my wife buys me massages most of the time so she has no problems with any of this!!

Lawrence, KS

#138 Mar 13, 2008
It isn't my intention to argue with you. You can do what you want. It's your life. It's just that I notice half the posts in this forum appear to revolve around:

a) I did something I feel embarrassed and ashamed about. Please help me to either avoid it, or be able to keep doing it without feeling humiliated!

b) I look forward to massage for the orgasm.

Both "a" and "b" strike me as less than desirable: a) fear and embarrassment or b) hoping a paid stranger will get you off.

Concerns about fidelity and integrity are important for most people. You've indicated that these issues of ethics matter to you.

There are many other kinds of posts, of course, too. Most of the ones from the massage therapists have been enlightening. I, too, have learned quite a bit from this forum, and believe it has changed my life for the better.

That being said, I am probably done with this forum at this point. Reading 131 posts are enough for me.

Van Nuys, CA

#139 Mar 20, 2008
Michael wrote:
I am a fully trained and well established Massage Therapist. I have worked on many people have performed over 3000 hours in massage. I mostly work on men. I think its important to get a good education so you do not hurt anyone but in my opinion the school or local government make such a big deal about sensual or erotic work. DOnt you think it possible to be therapeutic and erotic at the same time?
When you are workin with men (most of them) they tend to be much more tense hen woman and what I have noticed over the years that when you do implement sensual and erotic tones they relax it seems it much easier for them to gey out of ther head, relax and be more presnet with there bodies. I am no providing se. I provide a safe, nurtruing evvirometn with judgement of age, sixe, erection or? It is a very natural response for the a man to gt aroused at times (its normal) and how can any MT who really knows what they are oing not work deep into the glutes? If someone has chronic lw back problems or deals with a lot of stress it is essential to work the glutes and the perenium. DOnt belive me try it!
You say implement sensual and erotic tones. What does that mean?? How can you do that with out crossing any lines?

Minneapolis, MN

#140 Mar 20, 2008
reading this forum has really turned me on. anyone out there care to give me a happy ending?
Art -Los Angeles

Redondo Beach, CA

#141 Mar 31, 2008
I've had many massages over the years. And I've had some erections from time to time. But the most relaxing massages were actually at a nudist resort.
I've had a handfull of lame massages also.
But I love having my Thighs and Glutes worked just feels so good.
I placed an ad in craigslist about a year ago with the request of a thighs and glutes massage. I had a few responses, and had some GREAT massages. Unfortunately, the MT lived about 20 miles I wasn't a frequent repeat customer.
I usually like my massages to be undraped as it lends to not becoming to hot to stuffy.
[email protected]

Jamestown, NY

#142 Apr 2, 2008
Before i had prostate cancer and had my prostste removed my wife and i had sex everyday for 26 years. The doctor told me i would have a good chance of having sex if i had alot of help. But now my wife wont sleep in the same bed with me. In my mind i feel horney all the time but the doctor told me everything might work if i had some help. He said i would never come but would be able to get hard and have sex and have the same feeling. My wife wont even try at all and she wont even talk about it at all to anyone. My doctor said i should see an MT. I wouldnt have a glue what to say if i was to call an MT. T here are only a few where in live in a small town in upstste new york. Any MT,s out there to tell me what i should say or ask for?

London, UK

#143 Apr 7, 2008
hmmm my gf massage my pennis with relaxng massage which relax's you...then i could get a erection..if cuz off the oil?

London, UK

#144 Apr 7, 2008
could'nt *

Cheshire, CT

#145 May 12, 2008
I James, I feel your pain, I had a prostatectomy almost three years ago. The first two years were tough, as I was not getting good erections but for almost a year now I get good erections. Been married for 34 years and sex was always great for both of us. Even with my good erections now my wife has lost interest in sex. We've talked about it and she says she feels bad about it but can't help it. She never initiates sex and I feel rejected many times. I know she is not seeing somebody else but wonder if she wants to have sex with another man. My wife is a very sexy woman, and I am also very attractive, in great shape guy. I have also had the urge to sleep with a couple of women I know who have made it very clear to me that they are willing to sleep with me

james wrote:
Before i had prostate cancer and had my prostste removed my wife and i had sex everyday for 26 years. The doctor told me i would have a good chance of having sex if i had alot of help. But now my wife wont sleep in the same bed with me. In my mind i feel horney all the time but the doctor told me everything might work if i had some help. He said i would never come but would be able to get hard and have sex and have the same feeling. My wife wont even try at all and she wont even talk about it at all to anyone. My doctor said i should see an MT. I wouldnt have a glue what to say if i was to call an MT. T here are only a few where in live in a small town in upstste new york. Any MT,s out there to tell me what i should say or ask for?

Bellefonte, PA

#146 May 13, 2008
Hello James,

I might be able to further your answer. I have been performing massages for 6 years both male and female. Usually, there are spots most people don't know acknowledge even during foreplay. So, I'm sure that spot might have been a pain that may have been pleasurable

I hope this kind of helped u in a way.

Take care

Madison, WI

#147 May 22, 2008
James, I've had this happen to me with different CMT's. Totally caught me off guard the first time. I was embarassed and switched to a new therapist. Everything was fine for awhile and then it happened again. Not sure if its a trigger point or what. Totally in their hands.

Minneapolis, MN

#148 May 25, 2008
I guess I'm a bit mistified by what all the fuss is about here. On numerous occasions I have not only become erect during a massage but also ejaculated. And guess what? I ENJOYED it. Never has a massage therapist become upset because of my tumescence. In fact, usally the reaction is a knowing smile or a nod of appreciation. Most seem to view an erection as a compliment to their handiwork. Just my thoughts on the matter.
Gabriel C

Ottawa, Canada

#149 May 25, 2008
I am a 20 year old male. My first massage was with a registered massage therapist. She was very professional and didn't even go near my genital area, yet I still developed an erection but did not ejaculate.
The second time I went for a massage at the same place, I had a different lady massage me. She was an Asian and about 45 years old. Althought I am very attracted to older women, I didn't really find her very attractive. She started off by massaging my back, shoulders, neck and eventually moved on to my legs. When she moved down to my legs, she re-positioned the towel so that it only covered my mid to upper back, and left my buttocks and legs completely exposed. I was very "sexually tense" that day, and when she started massaging my upper thighs, I realized that she was able to see my penis and testicles. This did arouse me even more and I quickly had an ejaculation. She didn't say anything about the ejaculation, but once the massage was over she did take a few tissue out of the box and pass them to me so that I could wipe myself off.
The next few times I went for a massage, I specifically asked to be massaged by that asian lady since I enjoyed my previous experience so much, and had an orgasm occasionally (maybe about 50% of the time, especially on days that I didn't masturbate or have sex prior to having the massage).
I eventually started putting tissue under my genital area so that when I had an orgasm, the ejaculate wouldn't get on the sheets. When I started putting tissue under my genital area, I noticed that she would massage much closer and closer to my penis and testicles, and these days, at the end of every massage, she'll rub the area between my testicles and anus to make sure that I have an orgasm (that's if I haven't already had an orgasm at some earlier point in the massage). So it seems like she want's to make sure that I do have an orgasm every time I visit her, but she knows that giving a hand job is illegal/ unethical, so the way she gets around it is by massaging that area.
I never ask her to acctually massage my penis or testicles, because she's married for one thing, and also because she's able to make me orgasm by just massaging my upper thighs/ the area between my testicles and anus. Anyways, my point is that I think most massage therapists realize that orgasm is a natural occurance and that it helps the patient relax even more, so I doubt many of the mature/experienced ones mind it happening, as long as it's not in a perverted way and if you're hygienic about it. So always remember to be a gentleman and put a couple tissues under your genital area before the masseuse comes into the room so that you don't make a mess on the sheets. Oh yes, and I forgot to mention, I only have orgasms when I'm laying face down, and I've never had one when I've been on my back.

Minneapolis, MN

#150 May 26, 2008
Wow, Gabriel, that sounds like an amazing experience. You're lucky to have found such an able and nonjudgemental therapist. I would find it very hard not to cum under those conditions. One thing you might want to try at your next massage is this: when she's massaging your anal area, slightly undulate. I think you find she responds by focusing more on that very pleasurable area. Try to draw her finger in with your movements. Anal penetration can lead to very strong erections and powerful ejaculations. Just remember to lay down an extra tissue or tow to clean up your load!

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