Carol, I had something very similar happen but the moment the doctors saw the redness they immediately said it was infected. I was put on I.V. antibiotics and hospitalized immediately. That it took your doctor so long to call it an infection seems ridiculous.
Also, if you did have the Ethicon Prolene product, it can crumple and fold, cause inflammation or erosion into surrounding structures, entrap nerves, etc. Again your surgeon knows this.