RedFlags

United States

#1 Feb 24, 2014
Before I begin listing the negatives of a man I have met, I have to say he is a gentleman and treats me well (by that I mean-invests time in me, compliments me often, opens doors, etc). That should be enough and I am trying to turn a blind eye, but don't want to keep dating someone who may turn out to be a bad fit.

We have dated for 3 weeks, talked for a total of 5 weeks.

He pursued me initially-met me at a store then chased after me as I was leaving to get my number. One day he made the comment that it seemed like I never want to talk to him (I guess because I never texted him first and I had so little to say to him when he did try talking to me) so after that I started inititating contact with him. Since then, it feels like I ALWAYS have to be the first to text. I don't get the same frequency of texts nor do I get the "good morning beautiful texts anymore. Regardless, he asks to see me often (every weekend and atleast once a week).

What has me somewhat worried:
He is 31 and lives with 2 rooommates in an apt. Which is fine. But the apt is a disgusting mess-all mismatched furniture, messy counters, gritty shower. His room? The decor is wrestling figurines (still in their boxes) and framed movie posters. I have never dated a man who had wrestling figures so maybe I am just overreacting.

His dog. I tolerate the dog, I know how much he loves him and babies him. He kisses the dog on the head, that I can overlook. BUT I mentioned taking a trip in May and he said he'd like to go with me. I said ok. Then he asked if the dog could go too.. NO.

I make twice what he does. I know for a fact because he told me his salary. No big deal. However, on our first date, I offered to pay my part. He let me. Since then I have treated him to an expensive dinner and again paid my part at last nights dinner. He will pay the full bill if I don't offer (which has only happened twice). IDK, I guess I am just so used to men arguing back with me when I offer to pay.

Has told me twice now that I am dramatic. Once when I said I was scared to drive on icy roads and a second time over being bitten by an animal. Hurt my feelings that he said it.

Was on a date with him and as we were driving back home, 45 minute drive, he SnapChatted with his friend about 30 minutes of the way. I was very annoyed at being ignored. I told him as much and he has not done it since then in my prescence.

Sounds like

Frankfort, KY

#2 Feb 24, 2014
RedFlags wrote:
Before I begin listing the negatives of a man I have met, I have to say he is a gentleman and treats me well (by that I mean-invests time in me, compliments me often, opens doors, etc). That should be enough and I am trying to turn a blind eye, but don't want to keep dating someone who may turn out to be a bad fit.
We have dated for 3 weeks, talked for a total of 5 weeks.
He pursued me initially-met me at a store then chased after me as I was leaving to get my number. One day he made the comment that it seemed like I never want to talk to him (I guess because I never texted him first and I had so little to say to him when he did try talking to me) so after that I started inititating contact with him. Since then, it feels like I ALWAYS have to be the first to text. I don't get the same frequency of texts nor do I get the "good morning beautiful texts anymore. Regardless, he asks to see me often (every weekend and atleast once a week).
What has me somewhat worried:
He is 31 and lives with 2 rooommates in an apt. Which is fine. But the apt is a disgusting mess-all mismatched furniture, messy counters, gritty shower. His room? The decor is wrestling figurines (still in their boxes) and framed movie posters. I have never dated a man who had wrestling figures so maybe I am just overreacting.
His dog. I tolerate the dog, I know how much he loves him and babies him. He kisses the dog on the head, that I can overlook. BUT I mentioned taking a trip in May and he said he'd like to go with me. I said ok. Then he asked if the dog could go too.. NO.
I make twice what he does. I know for a fact because he told me his salary. No big deal. However, on our first date, I offered to pay my part. He let me. Since then I have treated him to an expensive dinner and again paid my part at last nights dinner. He will pay the full bill if I don't offer (which has only happened twice). IDK, I guess I am just so used to men arguing back with me when I offer to pay.
Has told me twice now that I am dramatic. Once when I said I was scared to drive on icy roads and a second time over being bitten by an animal. Hurt my feelings that he said it.
Was on a date with him and as we were driving back home, 45 minute drive, he SnapChatted with his friend about 30 minutes of the way. I was very annoyed at being ignored. I told him as much and he has not done it since then in my prescence.
He has a big L on his forehead and he ain't cool j
white knight

Bardstown, KY

#3 Feb 24, 2014
Sorry to tell ya. But I think you're wanting more than what your going to get with this guy. He sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do.
I would say to cut your yourself out of this. Don't settle for less than what you deserve.
RedFlags

Mahwah, NJ

#4 Feb 24, 2014
Gotcha. Well, I was just hoping I was overreacting. I mean it has only been 5 weeks since we met. I DO appreciate all the kindness from him: Every time I am with him he tells me how pretty I am, thanks me for spending time with him, says he is glad he met me, waits on me when I come over (meaning he makes sure I am comfortable), is affectionate, doesn't pressure me for s3x, asks to see me OFTEN, introduced me to his friends quickly, got me flowers for Vday even though we had only dated 2 weeks at that point, actually does pay when I don't offer up my part.. I could go on and on about positive things BUT those things I mentioned above have me worried.

Its not that I care that he makes less, but it DOES bother me he let me pay my part on the first date (I took out my money, he said no, I said "no problem" and that was it..)

It also seems odd to be that old and have roommates. I have lived alone since I was 18 though so maybe I don't know..(I have lived with boyfriends in the past, but that really isn't a "roommate" in the same sense).

And the SnapChatting while with me on a date driving home? I just found that downright RUDE. Maybe if we had been together forever, but this was like our 4th date.

Sad, I really wanted this to work out.
Anony-Miss

Lexington, KY

#5 Feb 24, 2014
Your mom has a red flag sticking out her butt and when she backs up she beeps.

Bwahahaha!!
Ninja Therapist

Elizabeth, NJ

#6 Feb 24, 2014
Sounds like you're a Whiney picky Pooh Pooh pants and he's a big ole fat man child ....you two are a perfect match! Who cares if he didn't buy Dinner, you make more than his loser azz!

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