My daughter thinks I'm nothing special

My daughter thinks I'm nothing special

Posted in the Louisville Forum

Sad Mom

Ashland, KY

#1 Aug 22, 2013
I have an adult daughter who is 35 that doesn't love me or think of me as special at all.

I had problems when she was growing up with depressions(mostly)- actually I have highs and lows - mostly lows though.(bipolar) plus I have been told I have borderline personality disorder. I still have problems. I have been depressed this time around for two years except for two months about a year ago when I was in a hypomanic (semi high) state.

I can't go into all the details of 35 years, but I can tell you how it is today. My daughter allows me to come and babysit for her a couple of times a week, but she never acts like she's glad to see me, doesn't smile at me, doesn't try to have a conversation with me, stays busy on her IPhone or whatever it is when I'm there, is usually preoccupied with whatever she's viewing on IPhone, doesn't answer or pretends she doesn't hear a question or comment from me, seems ready for me to leave as soon as she gets home and the list goes on. She'll call me on my birthday or mother's day, but I never get a card or gift. On my birthday, last month when I was babysitting, she got my granddaughter to bring me a doughnut from the day before with five lit candles on it and that was it.

A couple of years ago, she got mad at me about something that I don't remember and told me "Just because you gave birth to me, doesn't mean I love you". She never apologized or said that wasn't true.

I am hoping that I don't have many days left on this earth, because, except for babysitting, I hate my life. I guess I'll go to my grave knowing my daughter doesn't love me. It hurts a lot.
Ballz Ez-Hari

Louisville, KY

#2 Aug 22, 2013
I'll let you shave my balls if that makes you happy.
Mike S.

United States

#3 Aug 22, 2013
Sad Mom wrote:
I have an adult daughter who is 35 that doesn't love me or think of me as special at all.

I had problems when she was growing up with depressions(mostly)- actually I have highs and lows - mostly lows though.(bipolar) plus I have been told I have borderline personality disorder. I still have problems. I have been depressed this time around for two years except for two months about a year ago when I was in a hypomanic (semi high) state.

I can't go into all the details of 35 years, but I can tell you how it is today. My daughter allows me to come and babysit for her a couple of times a week, but she never acts like she's glad to see me, doesn't smile at me, doesn't try to have a conversation with me, stays busy on her IPhone or whatever it is when I'm there, is usually preoccupied with whatever she's viewing on IPhone, doesn't answer or pretends she doesn't hear a question or comment from me, seems ready for me to leave as soon as she gets home and the list goes on. She'll call me on my birthday or mother's day, but I never get a card or gift. On my birthday, last month when I was babysitting, she got my granddaughter to bring me a doughnut from the day before with five lit candles on it and that was it.

A couple of years ago, she got mad at me about something that I don't remember and told me "Just because you gave birth to me, doesn't mean I love you". She never apologized or said that wasn't true.

I am hoping that I don't have many days left on this earth, because, except for babysitting, I hate my life. I guess I'll go to my grave knowing my daughter doesn't love me. It hurts a lot.
Go see a doctor. From the sounds of it, you do have problems but we all do. See someone if you really want things to get better.
larry

Louisville, KY

#4 Aug 22, 2013
Ballz Ez-Hari wrote:
I'll let you shave my balls if that makes you happy.
when and where?
Loving mother

Ashland, KY

#5 Aug 29, 2013
[QUOTE who="Mike S."]<quoted text>
Go see a doctor. From the sounds of it, you do have problems but we all do. See someone if you really want things to get better.[/QUOTE]Yes, I have an immense amount of problems. I have seen doctors and therapists for years concerning my bipolar and borderline personality disorders. I am seeing a doctor and therapist now. I even tried to get my daughter to go to a therapist with me to try and get her bitter feelings towards me out and put them behind. She went once to a therapist with me about three years ago, but wouldn't go back. I guess she just doesn't really love me and I just have to accept that. Like her father once told me "I don't need a therapist to tell me that I don't love you". I guess that's the way she feels towards me too. I can't make her love me, but I wish she would. It hurts me everyday knowing that my only child doesn't love me.
Jen

Chesterfield, MO

#6 Aug 29, 2013
That's really sad. It's too bad she wouldn't continue going for the therapy sessions with you. The two of you might have been able to work through your problems and break down the barrier between you that is keeping you from having the close, loving relationship that most mothers and daughters have. Just keep on letting her know that you love her and will always be there for her. That's all you can do. Take pleasure in being with your grandchildren and spend time with them, but also try to have a life of your own. Get yourself involved with social activities in your area, etc. Make friends and keep busy. It will help tremendously with your depression, etc.
Loving Mother

Ashland, KY

#7 Aug 29, 2013
Jen wrote:
That's really sad. It's too bad she wouldn't continue going for the therapy sessions with you. The two of you might have been able to work through your problems and break down the barrier between you that is keeping you from having the close, loving relationship that most mothers and daughters have. Just keep on letting her know that you love her and will always be there for her. That's all you can do. Take pleasure in being with your grandchildren and spend time with them, but also try to have a life of your own. Get yourself involved with social activities in your area, etc. Make friends and keep busy. It will help tremendously with your depression, etc.
I see friends of mine who have great relationships with their adult children. I guess those friends didn't make all the mistakes with their children that I did with my daughter. One mistake I made was spoiling her. I also influenced her to put others before me - that I would always be here and she'd always have plenty of time to spend with me. In hindsight, I know I shouldn't have done that. I also taught her that on Mother's Day, my Birthday and Christmas, she need not do anything special - no presents needed. Now I'm lucky to get a phone call on those occasions. I wish I had taught her to consider me special, but I thought her time might be more well spent with friends or other activities. Now that I look back, those parents that didn't allow their children to do a variety of activities with friends and kept their children home with them most of the time, have adult children that come around them often. I wanted my daughter to experience many things with friends and not hang onto my apron strings. I guess I got what I wanted in an adult child - at least what I wanted back then. It's not what I want today - I've very hurt and disappointed.
Loving Mother

Ashland, KY

#8 Aug 29, 2013
Last sentence was a typo - I meant to say I'm very hurt and disappointed. I guess most people know what I meant. I see a lot of typos and can usually figure out what people meant to say.
Ballz Ez-Hari

Lexington, KY

#9 Aug 29, 2013
Nobody cares..go away!
larry

United States

#10 Aug 29, 2013
Ballz Ez-Hari wrote:
Nobody cares..go away!
what about that ball shaving?
Rocky

Glasgow, KY

#11 Aug 30, 2013
have you asked her to have sex with you. maybe that will work for you both. or ask her to shave your balls.
larry

United States

#12 Aug 30, 2013
I like the way u think
Teddy

Louisville, KY

#13 Aug 30, 2013
larry wrote:
<quoted text>
what about that ball shaving?
I am with Larry on the ball shaving.
who

Lexington, KY

#14 Sep 7, 2013
Sad Mom wrote:
I have an adult daughter who is 35 that doesn't love me or think of me as special at all.
I had problems when she was growing up with depressions(mostly)- actually I have highs and lows - mostly lows though.(bipolar) plus I have been told I have borderline personality disorder. I still have problems. I have been depressed this time around for two years except for two months about a year ago when I was in a hypomanic (semi high) state.
I can't go into all the details of 35 years, but I can tell you how it is today. My daughter allows me to come and babysit for her a couple of times a week, but she never acts like she's glad to see me, doesn't smile at me, doesn't try to have a conversation with me, stays busy on her IPhone or whatever it is when I'm there, is usually preoccupied with whatever she's viewing on IPhone, doesn't answer or pretends she doesn't hear a question or comment from me, seems ready for me to leave as soon as she gets home and the list goes on. She'll call me on my birthday or mother's day, but I never get a card or gift. On my birthday, last month when I was babysitting, she got my granddaughter to bring me a doughnut from the day before with five lit candles on it and that was it.
A couple of years ago, she got mad at me about something that I don't remember and told me "Just because you gave birth to me, doesn't mean I love you". She never apologized or said that wasn't true.
I am hoping that I don't have many days left on this earth, because, except for babysitting, I hate my life. I guess I'll go to my grave knowing my daughter doesn't love me. It hurts a lot.
Keep in mind that your illness is hereditary. Have you ever said anything hateful to her, or anyone else, and not apologized for it? Have you ever went manic, screamed and hollered or been spiteful to someone? Think about it, fellow Mother. She may very well be walking through a deep, dark hole herself. Don't forget your own symptoms, the way you feel at times. She could be going through the same, and doesn't want to admit it or can't deal with it. I am a mentally ill daughter myself, of a mentally ill Mother and she and I battle frequently. We are at odds now, hoping it ends soon but anyway, take that into consideration before believing she hates you, okay. You're her Mother, after all and well, we only get One.

Level 4

Since: Sep 13

Location hidden

#15 Sep 13, 2013
Sad Mom wrote:
I have an adult daughter who is 35 that doesn't love me or think of me as special at all.
I had problems when she was growing up with depressions(mostly)- actually I have highs and lows - mostly lows though.(bipolar) plus I have been told I have borderline personality disorder. I still have problems. I have been depressed this time around for two years except for two months about a year ago when I was in a hypomanic (semi high) state.
I can't go into all the details of 35 years, but I can tell you how it is today. My daughter allows me to come and babysit for her a couple of times a week, but she never acts like she's glad to see me, doesn't smile at me, doesn't try to have a conversation with me, stays busy on her IPhone or whatever it is when I'm there, is usually preoccupied with whatever she's viewing on IPhone, doesn't answer or pretends she doesn't hear a question or comment from me, seems ready for me to leave as soon as she gets home and the list goes on. She'll call me on my birthday or mother's day, but I never get a card or gift. On my birthday, last month when I was babysitting, she got my granddaughter to bring me a doughnut from the day before with five lit candles on it and that was it.
A couple of years ago, she got mad at me about something that I don't remember and told me "Just because you gave birth to me, doesn't mean I love you". She never apologized or said that wasn't true.
I am hoping that I don't have many days left on this earth, because, except for babysitting, I hate my life. I guess I'll go to my grave knowing my daughter doesn't love me. It hurts a lot.
Sounds like she put up a wall as a,kid..is it just you or everyone ..
Was to kerp her from feeling hurt when things,were bad may be .

She may not WANT to show you love ..But maybe underneath that she does..I pray it is,so.
Try to enjoy the kids,...I pray that maybe things,will thaw out for both your sakes,..
Maybe try prayer ..God is,a,FATHER who knows,what hurt is,:) God bless

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