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1 - 13 of 13 Comments Last updated Nov 16, 2012

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#1
Nov 16, 2012
 
When my husband was a senior in High School, he got an older woman pregnant. She was unable to be a fit mother, so when the child was born she gave up her rights. He gave his up also. The maternal grandparents recieved full custody of the child. He pays child support to the friend of the court every month which is supposed to go to the maternal grandparents for care of the child. 11 years later, he is still recieving text messages, emails and calls from the mother (who has no rights) about child support money. Turns out the grandparents have been giving her the child support check every month (since the child was born) because she has never had a job and spends her money unwisely. My husband had no idea the mother ever gave her rights up when the child was born. He thinks the child support check was supposed to go to her all this time. Is this fraud? How can we get her to stop asking for money that is not legally supposed to go to her? She frequently asks when she should be expecting "her" child support check because her rent/car payment/cell phone bill is due. Whats happening is not right.
siren

United States

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#2
Nov 16, 2012
 
from what I understand- keeping in mind I am not a lawyer, just have some experience with the child support system- IF his check for child support is being sent to the grandparents, who are supposed to get it, once they recieve it they can technically do whatever they want with it, including handing it over to her. No, it isnt fair, but thats just the way it is. As to her asking him for money all the time- if she gave up her rights and doesnt have custody and the support legally gets paid to the grandparents, then your husband legally doesnt even have to TALK to her, much less pay her money. He could just ignore her if he wanted. Hes under no obligation whatsoever to pay her anything or even communicate with her. Now, that being said, my question is this- if BOTH the mother and the father of the child have signed their rights over and the legal guardians are the grandparents, WHY is your husband the only one paying child support??? Technically, both he and her should be paying the grandparents. Talking to an attorney about that migt help, because if they made her pay too your husbands payment would be cut in half. Something worth considering anyways.

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#3
Nov 16, 2012
 
I didn't realize she should have to pay too. There are so many questions and holes in the system. I think I'll have to break down and ask a lawyer, but hank you so much for the information!:)

“life is what you make of it.”

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Since: Aug 12

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#4
Nov 16, 2012
 
siren wrote:
from what I understand- keeping in mind I am not a lawyer, just have some experience with the child support system- IF his check for child support is being sent to the grandparents, who are supposed to get it, once they recieve it they can technically do whatever they want with it, including handing it over to her. No, it isnt fair, but thats just the way it is. As to her asking him for money all the time- if she gave up her rights and doesnt have custody and the support legally gets paid to the grandparents, then your husband legally doesnt even have to TALK to her, much less pay her money. He could just ignore her if he wanted. Hes under no obligation whatsoever to pay her anything or even communicate with her. Now, that being said, my question is this- if BOTH the mother and the father of the child have signed their rights over and the legal guardians are the grandparents, WHY is your husband the only one paying child support??? Technically, both he and her should be paying the grandparents. Talking to an attorney about that migt help, because if they made her pay too your husbands payment would be cut in half. Something worth considering anyways.
I'm confused, if he gave up his rights, why is he paying child support? That's what giving up your rights as a parent includes is not having to pay. That's why most guys turn to that option..

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#5
Nov 16, 2012
 
Not in KY. Law states that even if you give up your rights you have to pay support.. if, of course the child is biologically yours. If they aren't paying, they are breaking the law. Trust me, he's definitely looked into that one!

“life is what you make of it.”

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#6
Nov 16, 2012
 
nibblets wrote:
Not in KY. Law states that even if you give up your rights you have to pay support.. if, of course the child is biologically yours. If they aren't paying, they are breaking the law. Trust me, he's definitely looked into that one!
Really? Mine is not required to pay and he didn't even give up his rights. The way I understood it, unless the residential parents receives some type of assistance from the government, the state won't force the other parent to pay...

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#7
Nov 16, 2012
 
Hmm.. I'll have to look into that. I'm curious now. Thanks!

“life is what you make of it.”

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#8
Nov 16, 2012
 
nibblets wrote:
Hmm.. I'll have to look into that. I'm curious now. Thanks!
You're welcome! Just good for thought.
Scarecrow

Shepherdsville, KY

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#9
Nov 16, 2012
 
He will pay in the end, Green eyed beauty......

“life is what you make of it.”

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#10
Nov 16, 2012
 
Scarecrow wrote:
He will pay in the end, Green eyed beauty......
My friend! How have you been? Long time no talk!!
Scarecrow

Shepherdsville, KY

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#11
Nov 16, 2012
 
Not so good, one of my dogs died Monday. Like losing a family member. I kinda feel ridiculous, I have seen hundreds of people die, bad azzed X-Marine.... and here I sit grieving over a dead dog. Maybe I should have my head examined ????

Anyway I hope you are well..... Did I tell you that I have relatives in Bardstown. Hardings and Johnsons...... One of those log cabins down by the museum was my grandmother's sister. It used to be on that road by the Rooster Run store, the historical society moved it.

“life is what you make of it.”

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#12
Nov 16, 2012
 
Scarecrow wrote:
Not so good, one of my dogs died Monday. Like losing a family member. I kinda feel ridiculous, I have seen hundreds of people die, bad azzed X-Marine.... and here I sit grieving over a dead dog. Maybe I should have my head examined ????

Anyway I hope you are well..... Did I tell you that I have relatives in Bardstown. Hardings and Johnsons...... One of those log cabins down by the museum was my grandmother's sister. It used to be on that road by the Rooster Run store, the historical society moved it.
No you're not crazy for grieving over a dog. We found ours dead yesterday morning and it is painful! No you did not tell me that. That's awesome. You'll have to come visit sometime. Have a great day!:)
siren

United States

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#13
Nov 16, 2012
 
in the state of kentucky, signing rights over only means that the parent revokes their visitation and custody rights, and also allows for that child to be adopted. However, until the child is adopted by someone else the natural parent is still obligated to pay support to the custodial parent. For example, if my kids father signed his rights over, he'd still have to pay child support but he'd no longer be allowed visitation. But if I remarried the childs stepfather would have the option to adopt him at which point child support would be stopped. That's what I was told by an attorney, but I'm don't claim to know everything, so always always consult a reputable attorney before doing anything.

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