Guy Advise Only Please

Posted in the Louisville Forum

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Confused In Love

Lubbock, TX

#1 Jan 6, 2013
My partner and I had the most beautiful lovemaking today. Literally, the best we've ever had after many years in a relationship. But, afterwards, he didn't really cuddle with me or hold me. He got up, washed up, sat in the chair for a few minutes, then left without even kissing me or hugging me goodbye. He's never been the lovey-dovey type, but he usually kisses me goodbye. My question, guys, is this. Is that just something a guy does that is so much different than a female, or does it mean that the love he just made to me wasn't real? He really made me feel cheap after the most beautiful lovemaking ever. I'm so confused. I need the man point of view and any advice you can give me so my feelings won't be so damn hurt. Keep it real. Be honest. Be one hundred.
Gerald

Louisville, KY

#2 Jan 6, 2013
Confused In Love wrote:
My partner and I had the most beautiful lovemaking today. Literally, the best we've ever had after many years in a relationship. But, afterwards, he didn't really cuddle with me or hold me. He got up, washed up, sat in the chair for a few minutes, then left without even kissing me or hugging me goodbye. He's never been the lovey-dovey type, but he usually kisses me goodbye. My question, guys, is this. Is that just something a guy does that is so much different than a female, or does it mean that the love he just made to me wasn't real? He really made me feel cheap after the most beautiful lovemaking ever. I'm so confused. I need the man point of view and any advice you can give me so my feelings won't be so damn hurt. Keep it real. Be honest. Be one hundred.
He should have hugged you and given you a kiss goodbye.
I would think if the lovemaking was described mutually as beautiful that would have occurred. I think you were used but while I am being 100% honest I don't think anyone can give you a definite answer.
If you feel used and I am telling you IMO you were used the only way you will know is if you communicate with this person. Ask them why they didn't hug and kiss you goodbye. Maybe they just don't know what to do are don't think?
Maybe

Duluth, GA

#3 Jan 6, 2013
He could have a lot on his mind also. Sometimes we get stressed out. When we do, during sex we can lose ourselves and outperform anything we've done before. Then when the sex ends we come back to reality and stress sinks back in. For me, this had caused a few after sex upsets for my wife.

Although many years ago before marriage and with a different woman I cheated on my girl. When I ended my affair the sex with my main woman improved but to be honest it got better because I was envisioning the other girl. After the sex with my main girl was over each time, I responded the same way as the first scenario described. Detached after sex. Point is there is no one solid answer. I do wish you the best with yours though.
Confused In Love

Lubbock, TX

#4 Jan 7, 2013
Gerald wrote:
<quoted text>
He should have hugged you and given you a kiss goodbye.
I would think if the lovemaking was described mutually as beautiful that would have occurred. I think you were used but while I am being 100% honest I don't think anyone can give you a definite answer.
If you feel used and I am telling you IMO you were used the only way you will know is if you communicate with this person. Ask them why they didn't hug and kiss you goodbye. Maybe they just don't know what to do are don't think?
He said it was beautiful for him, as well. That's why I'm so confused. If it was so beautiful to him, how could he just walk out the door with no proper goodbye? He IS a man that likes to be catered to, and I try to do that. But, at the same time, I like to be appreciated. When I bring up the situation, he tells me I'm bitching. I'm not.
Confused In Love

Lubbock, TX

#5 Jan 7, 2013
Maybe wrote:
He could have a lot on his mind also. Sometimes we get stressed out. When we do, during sex we can lose ourselves and outperform anything we've done before. Then when the sex ends we come back to reality and stress sinks back in. For me, this had caused a few after sex upsets for my wife.
Although many years ago before marriage and with a different woman I cheated on my girl. When I ended my affair the sex with my main woman improved but to be honest it got better because I was envisioning the other girl. After the sex with my main girl was over each time, I responded the same way as the first scenario described. Detached after sex. Point is there is no one solid answer. I do wish you the best with yours though.
So, are you suggesting that he might be thinking of someone else while he's making love to me?
lover boy

United States

#6 Jan 7, 2013
In my "opinon".......he has been sleeping with another woman.....and the new love making ways/ rekindled passion has been tought by another or transfered from another relationship.
Confused In Love

Lubbock, TX

#7 Jan 7, 2013
lover boy wrote:
In my "opinon".......he has been sleeping with another woman.....and the new love making ways/ rekindled passion has been tought by another or transfered from another relationship.
It's not NEW lovemaking ways or rekindled passion. We've had great sex since we got more comfortable with each other. It was a little awkward at first, but throughout the years, it's gotten better and better because we know what each other likes and prefers. Yesterday was just so full of emotion for me, and we just melted into each other. It's the after sex that I don't understand. How could he just leave without kissing me and hugging me after making such beautiful love? I'm not totally disregarding the opinion that he might be sleeping with another woman. I do realize he's a man, and with a man, anything is possible. But, I just don't think that's the case. How can he detach himself so quickly and easily when I just want to hold him forever?
Maybe

Duluth, GA

#8 Jan 7, 2013
With the new info about the sex getting better over time I say it's safe to say you can disregard my second scenario all together.
lover boy

United States

#9 Jan 8, 2013
Well......in your last post when you use the word " man" it could easily be replaced by the word woman. In my experience.......there has been more passion even tears during "sessions" after break ups maybe yours is something that is felt on his part but not yet spoke of......the disconnect part....my ex recently left me and after our last session she made her way to her car while hugging me and telling me " i love you" ........all the while knowing she wanted nothing to do with me..........ill trade my situation for yours ANYDAY!!!!
Confused In Love

Lubbock, TX

#10 Jan 8, 2013
lover boy wrote:
Well......in your last post when you use the word " man" it could easily be replaced by the word woman. In my experience.......there has been more passion even tears during "sessions" after break ups maybe yours is something that is felt on his part but not yet spoke of......the disconnect part....my ex recently left me and after our last session she made her way to her car while hugging me and telling me " i love you" ........all the while knowing she wanted nothing to do with me..........ill trade my situation for yours ANYDAY!!!!
I'm pretty positive he loves me. We've had our ups and downs, but we always get through them. He's never been the mushy-mush type. He's a tough guy. But, usually he says his proper goodbyes. I'm hoping it's just extra stuff on his mind, but if it is, I wish he would discuss it with me. Well I said something about his not kissing me or hugging me goodbye, and he got pissed. Now, explain that. I'm sorry you went through that crap with your ex. That was totally disrespectful. WTF?
John Masters

Lexington, KY

#11 Jan 8, 2013
Confused In Love wrote:
My partner and I had the most beautiful lovemaking today. Literally, the best we've ever had after many years in a relationship. But, afterwards, he didn't really cuddle with me or hold me. He got up, washed up, sat in the chair for a few minutes, then left without even kissing me or hugging me goodbye. He's never been the lovey-dovey type, but he usually kisses me goodbye. My question, guys, is this. Is that just something a guy does that is so much different than a female, or does it mean that the love he just made to me wasn't real? He really made me feel cheap after the most beautiful lovemaking ever. I'm so confused. I need the man point of view and any advice you can give me so my feelings won't be so damn hurt. Keep it real. Be honest. Be one hundred.
He dont give a fk. I LOVE cuddlin' w/ somebody I love. I don't w/ somebody I don't love.
John Masters

Lexington, KY

#12 Jan 8, 2013
Truth

Louisville, KY

#13 Jan 9, 2013
Maybe he was just stunned from how good it was.... you don't always have to think in the negative.
Confused In Love

Lubbock, TX

#14 Jan 9, 2013
Truth wrote:
Maybe he was just stunned from how good it was.... you don't always have to think in the negative.
Thanks for the positive comment. I hope that's the case. Because it was so beautiful, I couldn't hold back my tears during it.
lover boy

United States

#15 Jan 9, 2013
Not tryn to be negitive nancy.....but people get defensive and shut down when they are guilty.
Scarecrow

Louisville, KY

#16 Jan 9, 2013
You stupid fu**s, Confused In Love is a gay man.
Confused In Love

Lubbock, TX

#17 Jan 9, 2013
Scarecrow wrote:
You stupid fu**s, Confused In Love is a gay man.
There you go again. No one believes your dumb ass. I am a very straight woman. Please go find your boyfriend and let him take care of you.
Confused In Love

Lubbock, TX

#18 Jan 9, 2013
lover boy wrote:
Not tryn to be negitive nancy.....but people get defensive and shut down when they are guilty.
So, you're saying what exactly???
lover boy

United States

#19 Jan 10, 2013
Theres a reason for his shadiness.......and he shut the convo down before it could get started
Scarecrow

Louisville, KY

#20 Jan 10, 2013
Confused In Love wrote:
<quoted text>
There you go again. No one believes your dumb ass. I am a very straight woman. Please go find your boyfriend and let him take care of you.
Yea RIGHT,,,, And I am a jet pilot, I am flying a South West 737 to St. Louis this afternoon.

You might wish you were a girl, but you are a homozoid freak. You pull out this scam about twice a year. I could go back and look at the last time you pulled it. You just enjoy scamming people.

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