Miss Manners: Single person can enjoy wedding | The Columbus Dispatch
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Since: Feb 11
#1 Apr 24, 2011
What do I enjoy about weddings? That I'm so glad it ain't me. No
nag...nag..nag...pick..pick..p ick. Stay single & you won't have that. Let's
review...always make sure da wedding ain't you...then drive on over to
White Castle for a sack of dem burgers with those little itty-bitty onions
that explode in your mouth like flavor crystals.
#2 Nov 6, 2013
There is another major reason to decline a wedding invitation. Because you are single, and you don't want to spend the entire evening sitting in lonely limbo, or worse, the next three to five months recovering from a fractured skull, a busted nose, and about 900 stitches.
This is especially serious for single guys. At nightclubs, if he asks her if she would like to dance, he simply gets told to leave the club. But at wedding receptions, if he asks her if she would like to dance, he gets fists in the face, broken glass stabbed into him, he gets knocked to the floor and knocked out cold by the entire clique she is with, and ends up having to go to the emergency room.
Even his closest family members can easily turn sour towards him at a wedding reception, especially if he asks a woman if she would like to dance with him, and even close family members are known to use maximum injurious force to make sure he doesn't ask any other ladies to dance. Those kinds of incidents often cause long term, sometimes even lifelong, hatred, rejection, and bitterness between family members.
“Paper Or Plastic?”
Since: Nov 11
#4 Nov 6, 2013
Sounds to me like a perfect way to trim that Christmas gift list down to a more manageable size.
#5 Nov 6, 2013
I took care of that long ago. Girlfriends get gifts. People that pick up oil get alcohol. Relatives get rope and instructions on how to tie a noose.
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