Is a lack of sex causing divorces?

Is a lack of sex causing divorces?

There are 29 comments on the The Gleaner story from Nov 4, 2012, titled Is a lack of sex causing divorces?. In it, The Gleaner reports that:

Christian pastor Carla Dunbar listed infrequent instances of sexual intercourse as one of the reasons for the increasing number of divorces in Jamaica.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at The Gleaner.

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Bob

Franklin, PA

#1 Nov 4, 2012
I think so but other things like cheating, sleeping in separate bedrooms too. My ex after having my daughter born began to ignore me and my needs. A man really needs sex and for me had to masturbate. A married man should not have to do so. Now she cheated on me with a married man. I now do not trust women and have not had a relationship or sex for over 6 years. I am 56 too and think I am to old for sex. I had a good time younger with girls. It takes so much energy to have a relationship and too tired to do so.
amorr

Glasgow, UK

#2 Nov 4, 2012
Personally, I do think that frequent intercourse in marriage is important, before I was married I did masturbate a lot, but vowed that after I married I would stop that and make love to my wife instead. The result of that was frequent love making with my wife (about 10 times a week) for the first couple of years, and continuing to be about 6 or 7 times up to our silver wedding. It is important if you are in love, not everyone can do as much as we could, but having sex with your wife does deter you from having it with anyone else, well it should.
Couldbe

Vancouver, Canada

#3 Nov 4, 2012
I'm not going to tell anyone what to do, but if your marriage depends on sex, then maybe you never should have married eachother. There should be a dozen things you like about your partner above sex. That being said, you should probably be doing it at least once or twice a month if not more.

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#4 Nov 4, 2012
People are working very hard these days and are too tired to romance each other regularly. If there are children, well after work hours there are meals, sporting events and dance classes with home work supervision to attend, in other words too many things going on for romance but time for sleeping and reviving energies to front the next day.

Since: Jan 08

Location hidden

#5 Nov 4, 2012
Bob wrote:
I think so but other things like cheating, sleeping in separate bedrooms too. My ex after having my daughter born began to ignore me and my needs. A man really needs sex and for me had to masturbate. A married man should not have to do so. Now she cheated on me with a married man. I now do not trust women and have not had a relationship or sex for over 6 years. I am 56 too and think I am to old for sex. I had a good time younger with girls. It takes so much energy to have a relationship and too tired to do so.
You are not too old for sex, Bob. Please keep in mind than not all women are like your ex.
Nubian Queen

Skelmersdale, UK

#6 Nov 4, 2012
Sex, marriage and divorce!! My ex husband I and had sex on regular basis but that did not stop him from being a serial cheat and a pathological liar. Sex does not make a marriage or a relationship..
sampson

Fairfield, Australia

#7 Nov 5, 2012
Nubian Queen wrote:
Sex, marriage and divorce!! My ex husband I and had sex on regular basis but that did not stop him from being a serial cheat and a pathological liar. Sex does not make a marriage or a relationship..
there are more than one factor involved when it comes to divorce. but usually "cheating" & "dishonesty" is a major catalyst.

Since: Jan 08

Location hidden

#8 Nov 5, 2012
sampson wrote:
<quoted text>there are more than one factor involved when it comes to divorce. but usually "cheating" & "dishonesty" is a major catalyst.
Infidelity [adultery]is usually a "deal-breaker" in any relationship;but,not necessarily in all cases. The one story which comes to mind is from the Holy Texts,Boaz. His wife ran away,cohabited with numerous men;had many illegitimate children. However,God found a redeeming 'quality' in her;and,ordered Boaz to find her,ransom her,and redeem her. Boaz did as God command;finding her at a slave-market,naked and dirty.
Bob

Franklin, PA

#9 Nov 5, 2012
STEPHMAR wrote:
<quoted text>You are not too old for sex, Bob. Please keep in mind than not all women are like your ex.
Thank you for your comment. I guess I have issues and know not all women are that way. I am currently getting counseling to help me.:)

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#10 Nov 5, 2012
Couldbe wrote:
I'm not going to tell anyone what to do, but if your marriage depends on sex, then maybe you never should have married eachother. There should be a dozen things you like about your partner above sex. That being said, you should probably be doing it at least once or twice a month if not more.
I experienced "once or twice a month" I guarantee you that is not enough especially not in the first decade of marriage.

true, sex is not more important as loyalty, respect, good communication, lots of laughter together, honesty ...

HOwever, sex ranks pretty high up there...

If we don't plan on being celibate, and marriage means near celibabacy, why would be marry? We'd have more sex as single guys dating around.

If we wanted a good companion, with most of those other essential qualities I listed, etc etc why don't we just live with a good friend or a relative? Heck if you wanted kids you could just adopt.

The answer is that SEx is one of the key things that distinguishes a mariage from other relatoinships.

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#11 Nov 5, 2012
Nubian Queen wrote:
Sex, marriage and divorce!! My ex husband I and had sex on regular basis but that did not stop him from being a serial cheat and a pathological liar. Sex does not make a marriage or a relationship..
but a lack of sex can lead to divorce or cheating.
sampson

Fairfield, Australia

#12 Nov 5, 2012
STEPHMAR wrote:
<quoted text>Infidelity [adultery]is usually a "deal-breaker" in any relationship;but,not necessarily in all cases. The one story which comes to mind is from the Holy Texts,Boaz. His wife ran away,cohabited with numerous men;had many illegitimate children. However,God found a redeeming 'quality' in her;and,ordered Boaz to find her,ransom her,and redeem her. Boaz did as God command;finding her at a slave-market,naked and dirty.
so the moral to the story is: we all have hidden qualities:) now i need to find me a woman like her naked and dirty! btw i,m divorced now!

Since: Jan 08

Location hidden

#13 Nov 5, 2012
Bob wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you for your comment. I guess I have issues and know not all women are that way. I am currently getting counseling to help me.:)
Bob, in my opinion, there are a number of women who never will act like women;and,by their actions they give all other woman a 'bad-name.' These questionable women are called bit**es. Too many women have the mistaken idea that they can do without men. That's nonsense;perpetrated by NOW. I no longer belong to this organization.

Since: Jan 08

Location hidden

#14 Nov 5, 2012
sampson wrote:
<quoted text>so the moral to the story is: we all have hidden qualities:) now i need to find me a woman like her naked and dirty! btw i,m divorced now!
Sampson [I like your name],God, Himself determined that she had redeemable qualities. She was naked and dirty because she was being sold as a slave. No,I am sure you will find a pretty,clean,well-dressed woman. Don't let your ex influence your future. There are many good women available;who will appreciate a good man,very much. Unfortunately,relationships can be difficult;but,not impossible. Sampson,regardless of what many bit**es may say,women do really need and want to be with men.
sampson

Fairfield, Australia

#15 Nov 5, 2012
STEPHMAR wrote:
<quoted text>Sampson [I like your name],God, Himself determined that she had redeemable qualities. She was naked and dirty because she was being sold as a slave. No,I am sure you will find a pretty,clean,well-dressed woman. Don't let your ex influence your future. There are many good women available;who will appreciate a good man,very much. Unfortunately,relationships can be difficult;but,not impossible. Sampson,regardless of what many bit**es may say,women do really need and want to be with men.
there is no doubt about what you say and all women are special in their own ways. i am that kind of person who doesnt, believe in hiting a woman but i was married for six years to an abusive woman. yes she had anger issues froma family perspective but so did i but my strong beliefs menat i could not hit a lady! thats me!
I LOVE ME

Norwich, UK

#16 Nov 6, 2012
Nubian Queen wrote:
Sex, marriage and divorce!! My ex husband I and had sex on regular basis but that did not stop him from being a serial cheat and a pathological liar. Sex does not make a marriage or a relationship..
Nubian Queen were singing from the same page regular sex has nothing to do with keeping a marriage going , i wonder if your ex husband and my ex were brothers they sure sound the same ...lol
kat love

AOL

#17 Nov 6, 2012
you all left one thing out.it is called the compuitar ya how manny times a week to you talk to people about sex look at pic the compuitar can kill a marriage.we cant stop i do it your doing it my husband dose it.?who is not doing it.
DMAN

Aurora, CO

#18 Nov 6, 2012
STEPHMAR wrote:
<quoted text>Bob, in my opinion, there are a number of women who never will act like women;and,by their actions they give all other woman a 'bad-name.' These questionable women are called bit**es. Too many women have the mistaken idea that they can do without men. That's nonsense;perpetrated by NOW. I no longer belong to this organization.
Very well put!!!!! Everyone man or woman has needs and last i checked,both sexes need one another. Not just men needing women...
Nubian Queen

Hayes, UK

#19 Nov 6, 2012
I LOVE ME wrote:
<quoted text>Nubian Queen were singing from the same page regular sex has nothing to do with keeping a marriage going , i wonder if your ex husband and my ex were brothers they sure sound the same ...lol
@ I LOVE ME!! Maybe they are related. Sex forms part of a marriage along with, good communication, honesty etc. In my case sex was not an issue. There are SOME men no matter what will always cheat. My question is why get married if you can't commit.. I am convinced there are underlying issues like low self esteem confidence and a huge damn ego. For SOME men it is almost exciting and an adrenaline rush when they think the other half does not know. My husband would not stop talking and he would bring me gifts on hus way home.
So my advice is people if you are not ready to commit and settle down don't get married.. It is unfair to your spouse!!
orlane

Romford, UK

#20 Nov 7, 2012
i was married but the sex of my husband was very small and he cannot satisfy me...and when he started to make love after 5 mins he ejaculate...i ve try to stay with him but i wasn t happy because we didn t go no where together every weekend he was with friends and cousins in party ...i didn t know what to do.and 1 day i took his phone and i found a text from another woman says oh u can t breed me...i took that as a excuse for leave him.right now he don t have no 1 in his life.he want me back but i will never go back with him...

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