That is an awesomely honest and heartfelt testimony. Many of us are given a challenge in this lifetime that seems unbearable and insurmountable to test our faith and our willingness to bear the cross we must carry. Yours is different than mine, but I've dealt with mine since young childhood.<quoted text>
Do you really think you can post something I haven't read at least 10 times already?
You're wrong, on more than one level. Just the tone of your posts is wrong. The arrogance in speaking for God is wrong. The assumption that you know God's Word or wish is wrong.
I understand life is easier for you if you choose to believe the bible of your choosing is the intact, inerrant, 100% accurate Word of God. It isn't.
God could have chosen to protect the bible intact, and He didn't. You have to ask yourself why.
I was never lost. I was never a druggie. I didn't have to hit bottom to come to God. I was always a good kid. I always felt close to God. And I learned gradually to trust Him for everything. Faith is its own reward.
The notion that I wanted to or chose to be gay is beyond impossible.
Some of the regulars here are probably sick of hearing my story, but at that age, 12 years old, totally innocent, smart, never in trouble, naïve kid - I prayed for God to break my legs instead of making me gay - if He had to give me some kind of challenge, I wanted an easier one.
I have lived a prayerful life since I was a child - to the point it's unusual. How many little kids voluntarily read the bible from cover to cover, and refuse to allow themselves to read anything else until they finish?(Lord, "Numbers" is tedious.)
I have prayed for many things. In some way or another, the thing was always addressed somehow - maybe not the way I expected, but I felt they were "answered."
Yet I prayed for the next 12 years - from age 12 to 24 - for God to spare me this. I was more serious than you will ever be about anything in your life. During that time, I had no relationship with men of any kind. I lived in total denial. So it was not like I was trying to stop a behavior or habit. Whether or not I ever acted on it, I was gay. I always will be gay.
While I was, again, never "lost" or separate from God, those years were my furthest from Him in one respect: fighting Him about the way He made me was a deficiency in my faith.
And it's a deficiency in yours.
I am the authority on this subject between you and me. You are just guessing.
God bless you in your walk and challenges in this world! Your relationship with God is yours alone, and no one has the power to change God's plans.