My Imaginary Lover

West Jordan, UT

#1 Jan 28, 2013
It is 3 am and I am missing him. My imaginary lover. Not the Monster he really is. He is in jail and I am suppose to be free. But the pain I feel from his actions will not go away without him. I need him to pick me up off the floor hold me, rock me, and love me the way only he can. The unrelenting cycle...He would break me then my lover would come and put the pieces back together. I am broken and he is gone and I don't know how to fix it. No drug can make me feel as whole as he could. No person left in my isolated world can show me how my love is necessary and special. I feel as though I have lost the most important person in my life because I now see he was never real. A monster in disguise with his tools of manipulation to keep me in his nightmare. My lover is gone and there will be no funeral. No sympathy cards, no flowers. I am left here to grieve alone.

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