God Did Not Create Gerbils and Gays

Posted in the Indianapolis Forum

Ralphs Monkey

Indianapolis, IN

#1 Dec 14, 2013
THE HEAVENS—Lord God, He Who Commanded Light to Shine out of Darkness told reporters this Wednesday that despite creating all other forms of life in the universe, He in fact had nothing to do with creating gerbils or gays.“I just wanted everyone to know that I have absolutely no idea where gerbils and gays came from; they just showed up a few million years ago and started reproducing,” admitted God, the Divine Creator of Life, Heaven, Earth, and the rest of the order of Rodentia, but not gerbils or gays.“I have no problems with gerbils or gays personally, I just wanted to make it clear that they weren’t sculpted by my divine hand. Clearly some other force brought them into existence, but I honestly couldn’t tell you what, why, or how.” God added that whoever or whatever created the gerbil and gays must have been a fan of his work, since it is a “complete rip-off” of the hamsters and tea baggers.

....from The Onion
russe

Indianapolis, IN

#2 Dec 14, 2013
Ralphs Monkey wrote:
THE HEAVENS—Lord God, He Who Commanded Light to Shine out of Darkness told reporters this Wednesday that despite creating all other forms of life in the universe, He in fact had nothing to do with creating gerbils or gays.“I just wanted everyone to know that I have absolutely no idea where gerbils and gays came from; they just showed up a few million years ago and started reproducing,” admitted God, the Divine Creator of Life, Heaven, Earth, and the rest of the order of Rodentia, but not gerbils or gays.“I have no problems with gerbils or gays personally, I just wanted to make it clear that they weren’t sculpted by my divine hand. Clearly some other force brought them into existence, but I honestly couldn’t tell you what, why, or how.” God added that whoever or whatever created the gerbil and gays must have been a fan of his work, since it is a “complete rip-off” of the hamsters and tea baggers.

....from The Onion
These are a few of my favorite things! I simply remember and then I don't feel so bad!
Cage

Indianapolis, IN

#3 Dec 14, 2013
The sound of music with Carrie underwood was so pathetically bad
Andrew

Indianapolis, IN

#4 Dec 14, 2013
Ralphs Monkey wrote:
THE HEAVENS—Lord God, He Who Commanded Light to Shine out of Darkness told reporters this Wednesday that despite creating all other forms of life in the universe, He in fact had nothing to do with creating gerbils or gays.“I just wanted everyone to know that I have absolutely no idea where gerbils and gays came from; they just showed up a few million years ago and started reproducing,” admitted God, the Divine Creator of Life, Heaven, Earth, and the rest of the order of Rodentia, but not gerbils or gays.“I have no problems with gerbils or gays personally, I just wanted to make it clear that they weren’t sculpted by my divine hand. Clearly some other force brought them into existence, but I honestly couldn’t tell you what, why, or how.” God added that whoever or whatever created the gerbil and gays must have been a fan of his work, since it is a “complete rip-off” of the hamsters and tea baggers.
....from The Onion
And everyone said,,,,,,,,,, AMEN!
Guy

Indianapolis, IN

#5 Dec 14, 2013
God did not create republicans or tea baggers!

They are the devils spawn!
Wilt

Indianapolis, IN

#8 Dec 27, 2013
Maurice wrote:
Yes, sodomites will tell you that a gerbil frantically trying to excape from their azz is postiviely exhilarating.
Happy Holidays!

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