Phil Robertson Sez Men Should Marry 15 Year Old Girls

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Peck

Ingalls, IN

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#126
Jan 7, 2014
 
Isn't his girlfiend a coyotee?

t one location in Southern California, coyotes began relying on a colony of feral cats as a food source. Over time, the coyotes killed most of the cats, and then continued to eat the cat food placed daily at the colony site by people who were maintaining the cat colony.

coyote ugly
A situation encountered after a night of consuming alcohol whereby a person, usually male, wakes the next morning in a strange bed with a sexual partner from the previous evening who is completely physically undesirable (see ugly, nasty, two bagger) and sleeping on the man's arm. The hapless male would rather gnaw off his own arm than wake the woman and have to face the ills of his intoxicated choices the previous evening. Originating from a phenomena whereby a coyote captured in a jaw trap will chew off its own leg to escape certain death.

maybe the girl is not the victim here.
Peck

Ingalls, IN

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#127
Jan 7, 2014
 
Is this a letter from Amber?
Or Dave?

WHY I F***ING LOVE TEENAGE GIRLS (A PERSONAL ESSAY FROM AN ALMOST ADULT)

A few months ago, I went to a big family gathering at my grandparents’ house and ran into a cousin of mine. She seemed much older than the last time I had seen her (oh, the passage of time), so I asked her what age she was. She replied,“Oh, I’m 15.” And my immediate reaction?

“Oh my god, I am so sorry.”

She laughed, which gives me a little bit of hope that maybe, for her, being 15 isn’t a complete f***ing nightmare. But I think she recognized what I was saying on some level. Fifteen is, without a shadow of a doubt, the worst age. Wait, maybe 14. Thirteen? Twelve was pretty bad, too. F*** it, they all suck. Nothing summarizes being a young girl better than this simple quote from "The Virgin Suicides":“You’re not even old enough to know how bad life gets.”“Obviously, Doctor, you’ve never been a 13-year-old girl.”

It’s amazing, really. I spent my entire childhood counting down the days until I could be a teenager. I planned everything out perfectly: I would go shopping with friends by myself downtown by fourteen, kissing cute boys by 15, losing my virginity by 16, driving a cute car by 17 and off to university to have even more amazing experiences at 18. My life would be a f***ing commercial, starring me, my best friends, and Jordan Catalano. It was going to happen

“Reality is better than truth.”

Since: Nov 09

Indianapolis

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#128
Jan 8, 2014
 
My, how shallow, superficial, and sad. Don't parents raise their kids to have real goals anymore?
Peck wrote:
Is this a letter from Amber?
Or Dave?
WHY I F***ING LOVE TEENAGE GIRLS (A PERSONAL ESSAY FROM AN ALMOST ADULT)
A few months ago, I went to a big family gathering at my grandparents’ house and ran into a cousin of mine. She seemed much older than the last time I had seen her (oh, the passage of time), so I asked her what age she was. She replied,“Oh, I’m 15.” And my immediate reaction?
“Oh my god, I am so sorry.”
She laughed, which gives me a little bit of hope that maybe, for her, being 15 isn’t a complete f***ing nightmare. But I think she recognized what I was saying on some level. Fifteen is, without a shadow of a doubt, the worst age. Wait, maybe 14. Thirteen? Twelve was pretty bad, too. F*** it, they all suck. Nothing summarizes being a young girl better than this simple quote from "The Virgin Suicides":“You’re not even old enough to know how bad life gets.”“Obviously, Doctor, you’ve never been a 13-year-old girl.”
It’s amazing, really. I spent my entire childhood counting down the days until I could be a teenager. I planned everything out perfectly: I would go shopping with friends by myself downtown by fourteen, kissing cute boys by 15, losing my virginity by 16, driving a cute car by 17 and off to university to have even more amazing experiences at 18. My life would be a f***ing commercial, starring me, my best friends, and Jordan Catalano. It was going to happen
Martha

Wakarusa, IN

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#129
Jan 8, 2014
 

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Ralph wrote:
<quoted text>Dear Martha,
Don't worry the polar vortex is headed you way, and you will have a few inconveniences, especially if you lose your electric power. At that point, since do do not own hound dogs, your bidet will spew cold water until it freezes.
We try to avoid the walk out back since the coyote's will try to take a bite out of my azz. I have found that Sumo wrestler outfits help reduce the waste build up you wrote about. You may wish to try thong underwear should you lower yourself to take a "dump".
Eatin and sleepin take a large amount of time for me. I hope you are not in the high rise without water when the electricity fails.
Your Pal Ralph
Hi Ralph,it's your pal, Martha.

I sincerely thank you for your concern of my welfare during this storm,I really do. But I don't need to worry about the concerns you've noted. As a member of the 1%,I can assure you the apartment building I live in has the most modern amenities known to mankind. Amenities most of you peons are not aware of. My building is owned by Mayor Bloomberg,and thanks to the generosity of the Republicans in Congress and the Tea Party in general,my demographic has been doing extremely well over the past decade. Thanks to tax breaks sponsored and spurred forward by the aforementioned individuals,those tax breaks allowed landlords to make the necessary modifications to buildings such as the one I currently live in----when I'm not staying in my home in the Hamptons. And moreover,thanks to the way our system works,those landlords will receive additional tax breaks for making these modifications. Life is good.

Take Care!

Your Pal Martha!
Old Days

Wakarusa, IN

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#130
Jan 8, 2014
 

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DavidM wrote:
Today's culture is much better today then it was back in my time. With over 50% married couples getting a divorce taking everything a man has worked for in his married life. Then you have to pay child support even if it was the woman's fault. So what if she went to bed with your best friend and got pregnant. You were married to her at the time so the court sees that child as yours. Why don't I get married? Ha. No way with your liberal no fault divorce laws.
I don't know if Sara Palin would make a good President. I don't trust any person running for office. Besides she is not conservative enough for me.
Just for you information my GF drives a new car. Ok now new it has 15,000 miles on it. Yes it is in my name but she has use of it anytime she wants it. She even has her own computer and she has internet. Not that it would make much difference. BTW, she does not have to work outside of our home.
But back to my main point. Why get married today? People are excepted in any relationships today. Black and white, gay, or even more then on person. So what the big deal about marriage? I can make plans (and I already have) to leave her whatever I want to leave her.
This BS about having to be married for spouse rights is just that, BS. If I am unable to control my own assets, she has more control then my own family does. That is because she is here everyday and knows what is going on.
The modern ways are better. Fun, games and debt. Glad I am debt free.
As far as my views being contradictions, ask your Grand Father.
<quoted text>
For someone that is always yearning for the old days and vilifies the mores of today,you sure are taking advantage of today's mores. Meaning,you want your cake and to eat it too! Ya know,fun & games.

What's a good year for you? 1959? Does that work? Ok. So it's 1959 and DavidM is LIVING with his much younger GF. The neighbors are wondering why he will not marry the girl he is living with. Your co-workers are wondering what's wrong with you. Your male friends are dropping you because they don't want to be associated with a little boy. Her friends are wondering why can't you be a real man and make the commitment.

David is a religious zealot,supposed conservative,imbecile,homophob e,and racist....BUT...when it comes to his relationship with his much younger GF ......he becomes a total hippie from the 1960's.
Ralph

Bloomingdale, IN

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#131
Jan 8, 2014
 

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Martha wrote:
<quoted text>
Hi Ralph,it's your pal, Martha.
I sincerely thank you for your concern of my welfare during this storm,I really do. But I don't need to worry about the concerns you've noted. As a member of the 1%,I can assure you the apartment building I live in has the most modern amenities known to mankind. Amenities most of you peons are not aware of. My building is owned by Mayor Bloomberg,and thanks to the generosity of the Republicans in Congress and the Tea Party in general,my demographic has been doing extremely well over the past decade. Thanks to tax breaks sponsored and spurred forward by the aforementioned individuals,those tax breaks allowed landlords to make the necessary modifications to buildings such as the one I currently live in----when I'm not staying in my home in the Hamptons. And moreover,thanks to the way our system works,those landlords will receive additional tax breaks for making these modifications. Life is good.
Take Care!
Your Pal Martha!
Dear Martha, While I am not a member of the 1%, and have no reason to believe I ever will, my quality of life is good. When the F-20 would not start, I got the Farmall MD runnin, and mashed down all the snow. Had to build me a fire under the duece and a half and pull started it with the MD. Hadd to run like heck to git in the cab for the truck went into the frozen crick.
We play a little trick on fureners here in the country, we loosten the snow on the top of the tarps on the duece, and when we git to full speed, about 35mph the snow blows off ond the vehickle behind us goes off into the ditch. Hee,hee. This year we gotted a Furd Expedition from Mass-a-chu-ass, long with knocking over sleeping cows, we got it all.
I am happy you survived, and happy youhave all the monies. Bet you vote Repub., huh.

Yur Pal Ralph
Fellow Democrat

Ingalls, IN

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#132
Jan 8, 2014
 
Ralph wrote:
<quoted text>Dear Martha, While I am not a member of the 1%, and have no reason to believe I ever will, my quality of life is good. When the F-20 would not start, I got the Farmall MD runnin, and mashed down all the snow. Had to build me a fire under the duece and a half and pull started it with the MD. Hadd to run like heck to git in the cab for the truck went into the frozen crick.
We play a little trick on fureners here in the country, we loosten the snow on the top of the tarps on the duece, and when we git to full speed, about 35mph the snow blows off ond the vehickle behind us goes off into the ditch. Hee,hee. This year we gotted a Furd Expedition from Mass-a-chu-ass, long with knocking over sleeping cows, we got it all.
I am happy you survived, and happy youhave all the monies. Bet you vote Repub., huh.
Yur Pal Ralph
I am so glad that you finally stood up to be counted on the right, hmm I mean, left side!

I bet you roly poly rolling in the snow was funny to watch. We have room in our party for everyone and we hope to rebuild the middle class. Screw the 1% and may their heads be placed on pikes someday at the gates to our city.
Ralph

Bloomingdale, IN

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#133
Jan 8, 2014
 

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Fellow Democrat wrote:
<quoted text>
I am so glad that you finally stood up to be counted on the right, hmm I mean, left side!
I bet you roly poly rolling in the snow was funny to watch. We have room in our party for everyone and we hope to rebuild the middle class. Screw the 1% and may their heads be placed on pikes someday at the gates to our city.
Marty used to be
Everything to me
When she was my girl
When she was my girl

When she was my girl
We had laughter every day
Every day
When she was my girl
We even had a roll in the hay
Yes we did

Insider tradeing
Interrupted our dating
And now that busted big girl is
Gone, gone,gone, gone

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