Special Needs Attorney NOT a Zombie - According to CDC!

Posted in the Houston Forum

Satire Candi

Hong Kong

#1 Jun 6, 2012
In 2011, the CDC launched a Zombie Preparedness campaign. However, in a stunning reversal, CDC spokesman David Daigle was quoted by the HuffingtonPost- as saying "CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)."

Family and friends of "Special Needs Attorney" Candice Schwager, as well as the general public, can breathe a collective sigh of relief that her recent online rants, conspiracy theories and attacks on others were not a result of being re-animated dead flesh or a near zombie condition caused by virus. The CDC has been silent, however, on theories as to why someone like Schwager would appear to be so insane, paranoid and delusional.

While some would attribute insanity that resembles Schwager's as genetic, there is much debate on other possible origins: developmental neglect, dehydration, contagion or dangerous illicit drug use. In Candice's case, many on the internet have offered alternative theories, tho often with very colorful language. Even my Tamagotchi acted a bit psychotic after it did not get its electronic feeding one morning. Tin Foil Hats and underwear aside, even crazy people need love too.

So with that in mind, I would LOVE to see a Form 990 for Schwagers Atty4Kids "organization" or any other evidence that it is really a non-profit as she claims. All I can offer today is a genuine hug for a genuinely crazy person as reward.
Carlos Beltran

Wood River, IL

#2 Jun 6, 2012
Where is the 990?

Why isn't Garcia investigating Atty4Kids for fraud if said non-profit being claimed isn't actually a non-profit?

Can Garcia really be persecuting his critics if he isn't investigating this potential crime?

Also who or what is Crystal
CandiceSchwagerF akes-em

Frankfurt, Germany

#4 Jun 8, 2012
"who or what is Crystal"

Thats a great question... I think multiple choice answers are in order:

a) Candice Schwager
b) Rick Schwager
c) Candice's sock puppet
d) a pet name for a Whoha
e) Rick's Gods GIrls Porn Fantasy
f) Candi's mini-me
CandiceSchwager

Anonymous Proxy

#5 Jun 9, 2012
I am NOT a zombie! But I do like to be eaten by black men in Miami on occasion
SG Writes Freely

Netherlands

#6 Jun 17, 2012
Glad to know Candice Schwager will not be the Zombie equivalent of Typhoid Mary in Houston.
SG Writes Freely

Hong Kong

#7 Jul 25, 2012
I think the form 990 will be hard to produce since it seems the State of TX revoked Atty4Kids' charter months ago.
SG Writes Freely

Hong Kong

#8 Aug 22, 2012
But is GOPElite a Zombie Drone of Candice Schwager?

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