I am your neighbor living next door, Virginia's daughter. Regene called me and I am so very sorry for this loss. Mom remembers that your husband was first to help in a hurricane and help my elderly Mom. Such a good man must have been at such a low depression, suicidal, that he would take the source of comfort, your children, and although he says he wants to hurt you by doing this, I truly believe he loved you so much it wasn't in his deepest rage that he could. He needed his own comfort as much as a child who sucks their thumb. And yes under normal circumstances it is selfish but when insanity is the situation, rules are suspended in unreality. So you may have heard it was about you but it was not. It was about his lack of coping with all he treasured being lost. He killed to survive. Move, surround with friends and know Doctors need to watch and help you through this. Profoundly sad.