Living with Herpes
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Geo

Liverpool, UK

#1 Sep 19, 2006
I have had herpes for over 4 years now, but have not come to terms with it. I am scared of getting into a relationship as I do not want anybody to know. I am so scared of telling my new partner, but am confused on the signs of an attack. I am constantly thinking I have an outbreak coming.
stripper 69

United States

#2 Sep 19, 2006
Geo wrote:
I have had herpes for over 4 years now, but have not come to terms with it. I am scared of getting into a relationship as I do not want anybody to know. I am so scared of telling my new partner, but am confused on the signs of an attack. I am constantly thinking I have an outbreak coming.
Are you taking any medication for it? They usually prescribe Valtrex to people living with herpes.You don't get that many out breaks.Valtrex is actually the cure for herpes.How many outbreaks do you get? Which herpes do you have 1 or 2? Be honest when you are dating someone.It won't scare them away.
stripper 69

United States

#3 Sep 19, 2006
Another thing is DO NOT have sex when you get an outbreak!!!!!!!!!!1
Juca

Miami, FL

#4 Sep 20, 2006
stripper 69 wrote:
Another thing is DO NOT have sex when you get an outbreak!!!!!!!!!!1
I have herpes2 for 8 years and I feel bad because I don't know how can I meet a woman with the same problem. Do you know where or how? Im Live in Miami but I didn't see any suport group.
Gale

Douglasville, GA

#5 Sep 23, 2006
Juca wrote:
<quoted text>
I have herpes2 for 8 years and I feel bad because I don't know how can I meet a woman with the same problem. Do you know where or how? Im Live in Miami but I didn't see any suport group.
Check out the following website: http://www.mpwh.net/
lisa

Miami, FL

#6 Oct 5, 2006
<quoted hi Juca my name is lisa and i just found out i have herpes 2 and i feel really bad also because i want to find some one but iam scared i would infect them so i fill your pain keep your head up if you want to talk my e-mail is [email protected]
Amanda

Saint Louis, MO

#7 Dec 11, 2006
I have had herpes for about 4 or 5 years now. I have always been open and honest about it with partners, but am recently divorced and haven't really had to deal with this reality in my life for several years. I have just started dating someone (we have actually slept together, with condoms). We've been going out for about a month now and I haven't told him yet. I feel so ashamed and guilty for not being honest about it, and am struggling with how to tell him i have herpes. I am afraid I will scare him away, and I really like this guy. I am having lots of anxiety about it and don't want to hurt him. Where do I begin?
From Dan

Anchorville, MI

#8 Dec 26, 2006
It's just so easy to say to be honest with him. The other cliché thing to say is that he will stay with you if it is meant to be. Do not wait until you feel the relationship has turned the corner into being serious. It’s likely that is what your inclination is to do –then perhaps you’ll be able to keep him because he is bonded to you. Not good. I would see this as you not being honest with me (if I was him).
The truth is however that you do have Herpes and it would be wrong to not tell him. It seems like the best thing you could do is to educate yourself as much as possible as to the facts of the virus so you can speak intelligently with him. Be able to speak to the protection and perhaps even how often you’ve had outbreaks.
The other thing is to consider not having sex with someone until you do get serious. In today’s society this doesn’t seem possible –but if what you are looking for is a lifelong partner it would seem to be the best way to handle it. It’s difficult to define commitment if you have sex before a real bond takes place. Sex messes everything up. This will also allow you to not put a person in harms way –and you will protect your heart as well.
…just my opinion.
Amanda wrote:
I have had herpes for about 4 or 5 years now. I have always been open and honest about it with partners, but am recently divorced and haven't really had to deal with this reality in my life for several years. I have just started dating someone (we have actually slept together, with condoms). We've been going out for about a month now and I haven't told him yet. I feel so ashamed and guilty for not being honest about it, and am struggling with how to tell him i have herpes. I am afraid I will scare him away, and I really like this guy. I am having lots of anxiety about it and don't want to hurt him. Where do I begin?
Angel
#9 Jan 2, 2007
I feel the same way. It is difficult to tell someone that you want to become intimate with, but you have to if you decide to commit to them. I think the actual anxiety of "having the talk" is worse than actually telling them. Also, there is this new ointment that came out called Choraphor. Once applied, it kills the virus on contact and clears it up within 2 days. It decreases your outbreaks until you have no more. You can order and read more about it on Choraphor.com
Angel
#10 Jan 2, 2007
Juca wrote:
<quoted text>
I have herpes2 for 8 years and I feel bad because I don't know how can I meet a woman with the same problem. Do you know where or how? Im Live in Miami but I didn't see any suport group.
Go to blingo.com and type in herpes support groups in Miami. It will list your local groups. That is how I found the support groups for Houston.:)
Herpes problem

Chennai, India

#11 Jan 8, 2007
Hi,

I have been having herpes from 1 year.My wife also has it.Can you tell me what is herpes 1 and 2.Difference between these both.Any perticular food habits that we have to carry on for a good immune system.Can we have sex when we have a outbreak as both of us are infected.

THX
Rajesh
bro dave

Brighton, Australia

#12 Jan 8, 2007
Geo - get a blood test for hsv I and II.then get your B/f tested .If both come up trumps then you dont need to be worried. you cant get it twice.
bro dave

Brighton, Australia

#13 Jan 8, 2007
Herpes Problem- hsv1 usually the top half wilst hsvII usually does the bottom half but either can infected either site.hsvII is not common in the oral surface but hsvI is now becoming common on the genital area through oral sex.I am told that you can have sex when you have an outbreak but it probably hurt depending on what stage of the outbreak.yogart and diary products are a good for your immune system.
HerpInfo

Minneapolis, MN

#14 Jan 16, 2007
I just wanted to note that 'stripper 69' is incorrect, Valtrex is not a CURE, but a treatment, and HSV can still be spread while on Valtrex.
sadboy

Oklahoma City, OK

#15 Jan 20, 2007
hi, i'm 18, and my doctor says that i probably have herpes. i found out about 5 days ago and have felt so bad, so bad. i don't know who to tell or just to keep it inside. i feel like i'm all alone. does anyone think i should tell my parents? does everyone with herpes2 also have herpes1. what abou tthose hideous cold sores i keep reading about? are they really that bad? I guess, i need someone to talk to to, or tell, because i've been hiding and am so alone. i guess, i'm not to consurned about the genital aspect right now, i'm just concerned about the visible aspect when i'm hanging out with friends. does this awful feeling ever pass? because i can't sleep anymore.
AustinHeart

Austin, TX

#16 Feb 15, 2007
Hi Sadboy, I noticed no one had responded to your posting yet and I'm sorry you have been left waiting. I know it seems like the end of the world. You need support and assuming you have a good relationship with your parents, it would be a good idea to let them know (if you haven't already). HSV1 and HSV2 are different in that HSV1 affects the mouth area and HSV2 is genital; but it's not unusual for a person to have both 1 and 2. If you are not ready to tell your parents perhaps there is a school counselor or other relative you could confide in. If you live with your parents and decide to tell them, opening that door will give you support especially on the days you aren't feeling up to par. If you have HSV2, don't put off getting on daily medication of, Valtrex or Zovirax, because it will greatly decrease your outbreaks. You will still have the virus but living outbreak free is a whole new way of living! I can understand the concerns about being with friends and not wanting any visible signs (if you have HSV1), I know there are things on the market to help keep cold sores at bay. I do not have HSV1 so haven't done much research to give you good advice. I am a firm believer that keeping your stress level down will also help from having outbreaks of 1 and 2. Easy to say...not so easy to do. But first things first...confide in someone so you have a person you can talk to face to face. You are NOT alone...recent data shows that one in every four people have herpes; that is a huge percentage! Take care of yourself.
sadboy wrote:
hi, i'm 18, and my doctor says that i probably have herpes. i found out about 5 days ago and have felt so bad, so bad. i don't know who to tell or just to keep it inside. i feel like i'm all alone. does anyone think i should tell my parents? does everyone with herpes2 also have herpes1. what abou tthose hideous cold sores i keep reading about? are they really that bad? I guess, i need someone to talk to to, or tell, because i've been hiding and am so alone. i guess, i'm not to consurned about the genital aspect right now, i'm just concerned about the visible aspect when i'm hanging out with friends. does this awful feeling ever pass? because i can't sleep anymore.
howandwhy

West Bend, WI

#17 Feb 27, 2007
I am sure it has been answered before; but i just found out (today) that i have one and two and that according to my lab work that i have had it for a while...i show no symtoms. I just reunited (this weekend) with a old high school "friend". I am so scared and nervous i dont know what i can take or what i can/cannot do. I am at a lost for questions/answers. My own doctor just told me i showed up positive for both but gave me no direction or advise...all he told me is that there is no cure...He didnt perscibe me anything. Can some one help me to understand the question of "what do i do now"
HerpInfo

Minneapolis, MN

#19 Mar 5, 2007
Lab work can not show how long you have had herpes, therefore you dont know if you've had it for awhile.
Any type of sexual acts risk spreading herpes because most shedding is asymptomatic. You should consider suppressive therapy to lower your chances of spreading to a partner.
howandwhy wrote:
I am sure it has been answered before; but i just found out (today) that i have one and two and that according to my lab work that i have had it for a while...i show no symtoms. I just reunited (this weekend) with a old high school "friend". I am so scared and nervous i dont know what i can take or what i can/cannot do. I am at a lost for questions/answers. My own doctor just told me i showed up positive for both but gave me no direction or advise...all he told me is that there is no cure...He didnt perscibe me anything. Can some one help me to understand the question of "what do i do now"
Stressed

Canada

#20 Mar 6, 2007
Hey, it's ok don't panic. You can consider suppressive therapy to reduce the risk if transmission. I have Genital type 1 and my bf is fine.
By the way...You don't need to listen to such ignorant people who some times post on this site. They say you are doomed or other nonsense. Just ignore them as they aren't even sure if they have herpes.
Good luck
KinGA

AOL

#23 Mar 22, 2007
I know some time has gone by since you posted & I was wondering what happeend. I met this guy after divorcing my husband of 10 yrs. & had sex with him after about 5 months. However I didnt tell him that I have herpes. Im freaked now b/c I want to tell him but feel guilty that I didnt in the begining. FYI- I only found out I got it b/c my daughter got it at birth.
Amanda wrote:
I have had herpes for about 4 or 5 years now. I have always been open and honest about it with partners, but am recently divorced and haven't really had to deal with this reality in my life for several years. I have just started dating someone (we have actually slept together, with condoms). We've been going out for about a month now and I haven't told him yet. I feel so ashamed and guilty for not being honest about it, and am struggling with how to tell him i have herpes. I am afraid I will scare him away, and I really like this guy. I am having lots of anxiety about it and don't want to hurt him. Where do I begin?

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