How to live with Genital Herpes

How to live with Genital Herpes

Posted in the Genital Herpes Forum

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TheNetherlands

Beder, Denmark

#1 Jul 9, 2009
Hello,

I'm a 16 year old boy who lives in The Netherlands, I've had herpes for almost 7 months. But I just can't accept that I have it, I'm kind off curious about someone, who gave it to another and is willing to talk about it.
If anyone has any tips about accepting, I will be very thankfull.

Greetings from TheNetherlands.
herpes

Mansfield, UK

#2 Jul 30, 2009
i also have herpes and because i have an incurable disease nobody wants me.life mite as well be over 4 me because wats the point in living without a sex life?us herpes victims are like leppors lol walking diseases.even when youre 70 years old u gona be gettin coldsores all over ur genitals its incurable its made me suicidal and is a massive burden on my life sometimes i just feel like dying the only thing keeping me sane is my family and god try talking 2 him.

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ernprince

Panama City, FL

#3 Aug 14, 2009
herpes wrote:
i also have herpes and because i have an incurable disease nobody wants me.life mite as well be over 4 me because wats the point in living without a sex life?us herpes victims are like leppors lol walking diseases.even when youre 70 years old u gona be gettin coldsores all over ur genitals its incurable its made me suicidal and is a massive burden on my life sometimes i just feel like dying the only thing keeping me sane is my family and god try talking 2 him.
Hey, there's no need to be like that! Why are you punishing yourself for something that wasn't your fault and it wasn't done purposely for you to have this. There are medications to take to help keep the breakouts to a minimum and you can still have a sex life. I do!! You just need to be aware of when it is ok to do so. Whenever you aren't having a breakout, go for it. That's why they have medication.=) Just make sure it is protective sex. And you CAN find someone who you will spend the rest of their life with you KNOWING you have it and it not bothering them. Just don't sweat it. Its all part of life and we should be knowledgeable about this condition and help aware others about it. Be positive about this. At least you found out you even had it... Some people go years and years without knowing and spread it to more and more people.
hsv 2

UK

#4 Aug 27, 2009
sorry but genital herpes is not something 2 be positive about its a seriously contagous DISEASE FOR WHICH THERE IS NO CURE!!! ive been turned down on a couple of occasions because i CHOSE to tell them about my condition and i cant really blame them,who would in their right mind want 2 spend the rest of their life with someone who has herpes?its a dirty disease for dirty people in which you can never get rid of so why risk your clean health for some scumbag with coldsores on their genitals?like it or not that is peoples mentality about these horrible diseases its all a part of fate genital herpes chose you 4 sum strange reason some say its a gift from god? i say its more like a curse
santa

UK

#5 Sep 3, 2009
i fully agree with you hsv 2 i cant live with this no more its a horrible disease with the worst stigma attached 2 it and im starting to think fuc* this trying to help everyone but myself by telling them and wearing protection im the 1 who ends up lonely and if someone gave it 2 me when i was innocent why should i care if i give it 2 anybody else thats what everybody else does!ive tried 2 be the good guy wearing protection and telling people bout my condition it dont work so im going to do what i want and people mite say 'what goes around comes around' but if ive already got this horrible disease ive obviously had the come around so f--- it everyon e can have it.if u aint got herpes stay away from me cus im going to start giving this gift to as many people as i can as there is no exact reason why i shouldnt im a walking contagious disease so f--- it everyone i sleep with will be as well

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santa

UK

#6 Sep 3, 2009
try telling someone u have a disease on your genitals that is very contagious like lepracy that they are more or less guaranteed to catch after having sex with you.try telling them within a week of contact with you they are going to have puss filled blisters which turn 2 scabs all over their genitals try telling them my how your genitals are poison and youre a walking disease a very contagious 1 at that.try going out 2 a bar and getting lots of attention but cant do anything as u have genital herpes and dont want to give it anybody else.try sitting in a room with a razorblade in your hand,tears in your eyes and wanting to die and end this horrible life god has gave you somethings obviously not rite--welcome to my life with genital herpes
victim2009

Bristol, UK

#7 Sep 13, 2009
Santa, you're scaring me. I'm 18 years old, I caught herpes from the second person I ever slept with in my life. I don't feel like my sex life is over at all. I'm moving away for uni in 4 days and I intend to have a damn good time. All of my friends know about my infection, I'm not happy about it but I'm getting on with it. I'm not ashamed, it's not my fault! And I intend to be really careful for the rest of my life. I'd hate to pass it on to anyone else, my first episode was the worst experience ever.
gem

London, UK

#8 Oct 16, 2009
I think its time to deal with the facts, the situation is much easier to deal with then. You are not dirt, disgusting or a leper. Would you feel that way if the cold sore was on your face? Its ridiculous. One in four is a sufferer. You dont have to declare it to the world and, i know its a cliche but do you want to be with someone who wont support you through a cold sore? Not really. It gets easier and half of people dont even get symptoms. Stress and tiredness and not taking care of yourself guarantee to make the disease worse.
Husband of victim

Chesapeake, VA

#9 Oct 25, 2009
I waited until I got married to have sex, and found out AFTER getting married that my wife has herpes. She was unaware she had it until she started getting symptoms. I do not have herpes, so you can imagine my fear and frustration upon finding out. I still do not have it and we now practice safe sex along with daily medication. I am proof that someone can overlook this and will love you just the same. I may not be able to completely relate to someone who has it, but I see firsthand what it's like to have it, and prove that love can easily look past something like this. I have also seen the emotional effects it has on people. Imagine my wife's emotional state of mind upon finding out that she had it and her fear of passing it to me (or wondering if I'd still want her). It seems to be the same feelings many of you are having. My heart and prayers go out to you, but I promise you there is so much more to life. If you feel alone, empty, hurt, or angry I encourage you to seek help. You are not alone. Thousands of people are living happy lives with it.
For those who are trying to give it to as many people as you can...I feel very sorry for you. Out of your anger, you are making very selfish, hurtful decisions which are only going to add to your loneliness and pain.
I pray that you all are able to learn to live with your circumstance, and continue to live happy lives. Don't be a victim of circumstance...you decide the life you want to live regardless of circumstance.
TheNetherlands

Oss, Netherlands

#10 Nov 7, 2009
Hi,
Thanks all for you're comments :).
I just need someone to help me, I had my third outbreak/attack in about 11months.
I think this is very little amount.
I'm looking for someone who can tell me how to accept it, and help me live with it...
Does anyone got some idea´s ?

Greetings
TheNetherlands

Oss, Netherlands

#11 Nov 7, 2009
santa wrote:
i fully agree with you hsv 2 i cant live with this no more its a horrible disease with the worst stigma attached 2 it and im starting to think fuc* this trying to help everyone but myself by telling them and wearing protection im the 1 who ends up lonely and if someone gave it 2 me when i was innocent why should i care if i give it 2 anybody else thats what everybody else does!ive tried 2 be the good guy wearing protection and telling people bout my condition it dont work so im going to do what i want and people mite say 'what goes around comes around' but if ive already got this horrible disease ive obviously had the come around so f--- it everyon e can have it.if u aint got herpes stay away from me cus im going to start giving this gift to as many people as i can as there is no exact reason why i shouldnt im a walking contagious disease so f--- it everyone i sleep with will be as well
Hi, I understand what you mean.
But be carefull, in some country's it's a crime to give someone a STD if you know you have it...
I'm not going to convince you not to do it, because I can't I know how you feel. So, just be carefull you don't get in jail.

Greetings
TheNetherlands

Oss, Netherlands

#12 Nov 7, 2009
Husband of victim wrote:
I waited until I got married to have sex, and found out AFTER getting married that my wife has herpes. She was unaware she had it until she started getting symptoms. I do not have herpes, so you can imagine my fear and frustration upon finding out. I still do not have it and we now practice safe sex along with daily medication. I am proof that someone can overlook this and will love you just the same. I may not be able to completely relate to someone who has it, but I see firsthand what it's like to have it, and prove that love can easily look past something like this. I have also seen the emotional effects it has on people. Imagine my wife's emotional state of mind upon finding out that she had it and her fear of passing it to me (or wondering if I'd still want her). It seems to be the same feelings many of you are having. My heart and prayers go out to you, but I promise you there is so much more to life. If you feel alone, empty, hurt, or angry I encourage you to seek help. You are not alone. Thousands of people are living happy lives with it.
For those who are trying to give it to as many people as you can...I feel very sorry for you. Out of your anger, you are making very selfish, hurtful decisions which are only going to add to your loneliness and pain.
I pray that you all are able to learn to live with your circumstance, and continue to live happy lives. Don't be a victim of circumstance...you decide the life you want to live regardless of circumstance.
What if I get a child ?
What if he has it, how could I tell to my own child that I gave him herpes...?
Dont Judge

Castries, Saint Lucia

#13 Dec 23, 2009
I did not know my partner was postitive. he never told me. When I got sick I told him I was sick and got tested for everything, then he tells me. I do know how to deal with it but I am trying. We have only spoke about it once and never again because I am still in stoke. He told me he got the virus from his first girlfriend more than 10 years ago and she did not tell him. Hating him is not going to take the hurt and pain away so I just let it be. I hate myself more than anything for letting myself get infected. It is had to talk about it especially since it is genital herpes. Life sucks
TheNetherlands

Oss, Netherlands

#15 Jan 6, 2010
Hmmm... Thanks for your answer, I fancy a girl now, she is comming this week. And just now I have an outbreak :S.
It doesn't hurt and I'm not sick ( at my last 2 outbreaks I was sick for a day or two ). But I only see those red dots, don't know for sure or it's an outbreak but I think, I always got trouble with girls and I'm affraid to tell this girl that I got herpes... How can I tell it to her without the freaking out or telling her friends ?

Greets
name

Nottingham, UK

#16 Jan 11, 2010
if youre comfortable with the fact that you know her well enough to tell her then go ahead because the chances are shes going to catch it if she becomes sexually involved with you,you may want to have something to educate her with maybe a website or something because if shes a small minded girl she may freak out on you so dont just bluntly put it-'i have herpes' as the stigma surrounding this disease is massive! and if you think youre having an outbreak dont have sex even with protection genital herpes is very cantagious and condoms dont really help, u may want to leave it a week or 2 because if she dont have it i can almost guarantee she damn sure dont want it so dont mess it up from the get go if shes the right 1 for you she'll accept your condition just be ready 2 be turned down just in case dont set your heart on it and if u do that the rejection will be much easier to handle.everybody has a soul mate maybe god guided her your way so you can be happy together?good luck!
TheNetherlands

Oss, Netherlands

#17 Jan 30, 2010
name wrote:
if youre comfortable with the fact that you know her well enough to tell her then go ahead because the chances are shes going to catch it if she becomes sexually involved with you,you may want to have something to educate her with maybe a website or something because if shes a small minded girl she may freak out on you so dont just bluntly put it-'i have herpes' as the stigma surrounding this disease is massive! and if you think youre having an outbreak dont have sex even with protection genital herpes is very cantagious and condoms dont really help, u may want to leave it a week or 2 because if she dont have it i can almost guarantee she damn sure dont want it so dont mess it up from the get go if shes the right 1 for you she'll accept your condition just be ready 2 be turned down just in case dont set your heart on it and if u do that the rejection will be much easier to handle.everybody has a soul mate maybe god guided her your way so you can be happy together?good luck!
Hey, thanks for the reaction. I hope she will, she is my girlfriend now. But I still havent told her, I just don't know how to start the subject like: Hey, surprise I got herpes yahaay. Thats not going that way... I have to tell her but I just can't... Does anybody got tips on how to tell ?

Greetings from TheNetherlands
change

Nottingham, UK

#18 Jan 31, 2010
bring up the subject of herpes and see how she reacts to it i think if she loves you enough she wont be too bothered its just the stigma surrounding it remember herpes is not you it dont define you its just a skin condition you have and youre supposedly not very likely to pass it when not having an outbreak so it might just work out for you.good luck!
TheNetherlands

Oss, Netherlands

#19 Feb 4, 2010
change wrote:
bring up the subject of herpes and see how she reacts to it i think if she loves you enough she wont be too bothered its just the stigma surrounding it remember herpes is not you it dont define you its just a skin condition you have and youre supposedly not very likely to pass it when not having an outbreak so it might just work out for you.good luck!
I'll just tell her, if she picks it up bad then I'm scr*wed.
I hope she wont. Thanks for the advice.

Cheers
very_unhappy

Las Vegas, NV

#20 Mar 8, 2010
Men have it better. They can see the herpes. I have them mostly inside my vagina and they hurt bad. A penis gets air and the blisters will dry up quickly and go away. The vagina is moist and it takes forever to heal. As far as ones on the outside, I found putting vitamin E on the spot from the moment you feel it coming on helps.
Just me

Spring Valley, CA

#23 May 19, 2010
I am not an expert on this subject, but am a young single young woman that just found out i have the disease. Honestly I have had one outbreak and it was not painful but have found out through others that they can be painful. When I first found out I was absolutely destroyed! Now, I am not super excited that I have it, but I do and there's really not a damn thing that I can do to reverse it. For those of you that think that your life is over, you should really think again. While this is not something that can be cured, you can maintain it and still live a normal life. For those that think you will never find someone that loves you, you're wrong. Yes you will be rejected and its understandable and i'm not saying that you should get use to it, but instead accept that some will not accept you and move on. There are others out there that will truly accept and understand that this is not your fault. I am 23 do you really think i wanted to have this and live with this for the rest of my life? Wrong! I dont expect everyone to want me, but I will respect myself and I will tell the right person when he comes. Giving up and beating yourself up now is no good. Instead educate yourself so you can educate the world and help others understand you and your condition.

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