Sexual Performance Anxiety?

[carlitos]

iam a bisexual male in my 30's i had a bad expirience 3 months ago, i lost my erection during sex, i got very frustrated, anxious and scared. iam very anxious all the time, i dont get erected during the day for notting, no sex desire, confused etc etc, I already visited a sex therapist, i had try some herbal performance products, i already went to the doctor to get pills for anxiety and NOTHING WORKS....iam so desperate and afraid that can looss my partner because of this, the sex therapist told me that only solution is to forget about the issue, and when i stop thinking about the "issue" is when is gonna go away for itself, but man is hard to stop thinking and feeling ( i think i got traumatize) "feelings of failure" that iam not gonna get a hard one, and it happens. Any idea how can i take out of my mind this stupid thinking of failure, so my brain can come back to its normal sexual chemistry. Any good pills i can use while i overcome this issue in my mind? any ideas? please please help help!!!!!!

[Flavio]

ZORAXEL is a new ED drug that seems to be perfect for these cases: it is a centrally acting drug that increases dopamine production and has anxiolytic properties. Unfortunately, it will only be available in 2013.

[Flavio]

I have two more suggestions, Carlitos:

a) Have a break! Give it some time before you resume your sex life, you seem to be going through a stressful period right now.

b) Remember that nobody's infallible and it is perfectly normal to fail every now and then

[Carlos]

It cant be possible, how am i gonna wait until 2013 to resolve this issue? why some people here explained their situation similar to mine, and how come they can use viagra, levitra and so on, to help them improve the healing process, why cant i go to my doctor and ask him for some pills so i can help my brain a lil bit to get throught this stressful situation? And in the other hand you are right Flavio i think iam running to conclusions about my sexual life, that incident just happened to me 3 months ago but man it's been hard to take out of my head that bad expirience and hard to get rid of the fear and anxiety that bad expirience cause me. hopefully i will get throught this soon i need to go back and enjoy my sexual life again...

[Flavio]

Carlos wrote:

[...] that incident just happened to me 3 months ago but man it's been hard to take out of my head that bad expirience and hard to get rid of the fear and anxiety that bad expirience cause me. hopefully i will get throught this soon i need to go back and enjoy my sexual life again...

Believe me Carlos, you are not alone. This is a very common situation, but most men are afraid to talk about it. I suffer from sexual performance anxiety too: I am young, healthy and I am always able to attain a solid erection but just before penetration I sometimes get too anxious and lose my erection.

I tried therapy but it was useless. Oral drugs, by the contrary, have been very useful: Cialis 20 mg is my favorite PDE-5 inhibitor and gives me excellent erections; VIGAMED (oral phentolamine 40 mg) is an ED drug that can block the effects of stress hormones (when you get too anxious, adrenaline constricts peripheral circulation and kills erections).

I also take yohimbe, a centrally acting drug that can improve the efficacy of Cialis; side effects of yohimbe (insomnia, irritability) are unpleasant, though. ZORAXEL is also a centrally acting drug and probably much better than yohimbe but it's not available yet.

I suggest you go see a doctor and ask him about these treatments. Sexual performance anxiety is a medical condition and doctors are there to help us. I also suggest you do some research on this subject.

If you want to continue this discussion Carlos, here's my e-mail: [e-mail] And you can also join the excellent ED Guider Forum: www.edguider.com/forum

Good luck!

[MJSmith]

I've been dealing with this myself. The first time was in my early 20's. Dating a hot chick. First time I was too nervous. Then second, third, rinse and repeat. We broke up pretty shortly after. Didn't really date much for at least a year. Was with another girl. Took a couple times, but things started. Then it was like I flipped a switch. Next girl, first time took a little bit, but after that, sex all the time.

Things were OK for several years, then went home with crazy girl. Went bad. Next time, bad. She started the ball rolling again. Been dealing with this for the past 3 years now.

Here's what works. Once I'm comfortable with somebody, it gradually reduces. However, I still get a visceral nervous feeling. Not sure what to do with that. I think if I was with somebody for a while, it would be OK. I did hook up with an ex for a while, and things were totally fine. Its like my subconscious needs to feel EXTREMELY comfortable with the person.

I have passed up a few chances with different women because I knew it wasn't going to happen, and it would just make things worse.

However, I picked up Viagra and Levitra. To be honest, I keep a little Levitra around if I'm going to be going home with a girl. I used it with 3 different women over that time. One was the ex the first time we were together again, so I don't count that one (TOTALLY fine). Second was a girl I dated a couple years ago. Beyond totally fine (oral, to completion, then sex twice, to completion). Then another girl last year. This one was a little rougher. Took a little while to relax once we were naked, although, to be fair to my scared subconscious, it was our second date, and she was on me as soon as we came in the door. However, once it gets going, its fine. Second time she was over, porn time.

The first time sucked, but I didn't get the serious anxiety feeling. This time, however, I get serious anxiety. One time right after the crazy chick, I was dating this really hot girl. After we'd hooked up a couple times, we were having dinner, and I almost had a panic attack (my first, by the way). things are much better now, but when I think I'm going to be "invited in" at the end of a date, I get all sorts of freaked. It sucks.

Also, I'm going to cut out caffeine. I'm a huge coffee drinker, and I've noticed over the years I've developed a sensitivity. I guess this is actually a "thing".

Anyway, good luck.

[Flavio]

MJSmith wrote:

[...] Also, I'm going to cut out caffeine. I'm a huge coffee drinker, and I've noticed over the years I've developed a sensitivity. I guess this is actually a "thing".
Anyway, good luck.

Excellent idea.
I believe that caffeine is terrible. Caffeine increases adrenaline levels and adrenaline is an erection killer (it is a vasoconstrictor, i.e. constricts peripheral circulation).
I don't know any medical studies that demonstrate this, but if you do a google search, you'll find plenty of anecdotical evidence.

[Frank G]

Hi. Has anyone heard of some tablets called MARICA that are being recommended for ED? I cant google them anywhere and am wondering if they are safe. Thanks

[Dave]

I just totally messed up my first time and I blame caffeine. I tried so hard to get myself hard, I achieved ejaculation without erection!

I had around 480 mg of caffeine in my system at the time.(around 7 cups of coffee)

I was also incredibly nervous.

If it happens again, i'll probably just shoot myself.

[Flavio]

I've already mentioned CIALIS and VIGAMED but there may be another effective solution: valerian pills. Valerian root is a mild sedative and has no side effects. I always take 150 mg before sex and it works.

[michaelg]

I think that the best hot thing on a market now from sexual performance is Erektor www.erektorforlife.com .
result in 20 sec 100% and no side effects, no pills. It's simple and jenious.