First Prev
of 2
Next Last
blessed and blessing

Waldorf, MD

#22 Dec 15, 2011
this is amazing. I have a bad day and am ready to burn the world down, not knowing there are real problems out there that real people have to deal with. I was taught at a young age that life is hard and the only way to succeed is to take what is given to you(no real choice anyway)and use it. sometimes i sit back and say what bullshit, but it has gotten me to where i am today in my athletic Carrier and in my academics.We all see these people who like to pray on the week and act like there above all of these feelings its not true its all denial.I see life as a game and i wont loose(hopefully) and i hope ALL of you can get something out of my and others experiences and learn without trial and error.I can say i love people a little more after this and i pray you find your soul-ution.
-love,blessed and blessing
Dark Duchess

North Vancouver, Canada

#23 Apr 9, 2012
You need to acknowledge your pain; it's genuine. Which is good. You can sit and breathe with it a while. I know about sadness. And wanting to die. But I know, too about the way the clouds separate from the sky. And looking directly into a stranger"s eyes to find connection. The world may seem daunting, but most of us are kind. And circumstances change. Always. You are not alone.
SON2011Toxic

Columbus, IN

#24 Apr 13, 2012
It sucks being depressed. And yet there is a certain safety that you find in the confines of your mind. Until suicide jumps in. Im in one of the weirder stages of my depression where everything I see is a death weapon. I know what pills to take and how many will kill me. I know where the more vulnerable veins are to slice with razors. The only reason Im still here is that slight curiosity of what might happen tomorrow. ButI know that that part will soon be gone unless I find help. Qhat sucks the most is Im only 15. I hate it. I hate me. I feel empty.
nope

Budapest, Hungary

#25 Oct 7, 2012
Fea wrote:
I don't know why I feel like this. In the past I have dealt with drug abuse and self mutilation. Stopped. I'm 20 years old. I'm divorced, my first husband would tell me to kill myself all the time.. I fought through it; used drugs and cutting to deal with my abusive marriage. Finally walked out.
I stopped the drugs; I stopped the cutting. I have a new boyfriend, but he's overseas fighting in some meaningless war and I have no one to talk to. My family doesn't talk to me and it seems like they only try kick me further and further down. I have very few friends cause I don't trust people and I don't want them to worry. I'm feeling so isolated and I'm falling back into the same lifestyle. Drugs is the only way I know how to cope and not hurt myself and I can't get like I was again, I slipped up the other day.. Twice and now it's all I can think about.
I'm in debt, I can't find a job, I don't have a home, I'm living in my car and I won't tell him. My financial aid was suspended for college.
And now my amazing boyfriend is going to come home to my sorry ass that can't seem to handle anything, 7 months from now.
I've been through so much and it's all been my own fault. I don't know why I feel like this. I just wish it would stop before I do something so stupid. Which, in all reality, maybe people like me are just another pest to society and should die. I'm sorry, I feel like crap. I hate myself so much right now.
First of all, you have someone to live for! Bask in the feelings he feels towards you. I know you can't feel you are special, but follow the logic, you think he is worthy, and he likes you, it is more reason to live than riches or fame. You have the most important hing to live for, mutual love!
Second, but not in importance, you've dealt with all those issues! You succeeded where countless others failed!
As I see it, you have more reasons to live than most of those shiny happy peoples!
Good luck, and never give up!
Donald4444

Aarhus, Denmark

#26 Feb 27, 2013
mauricio wrote:
I'm having so many problems.at.home.I feel as if the whole world turns against me I dnt have friends my life is fucked up as it is...I just want to close my eyes nd never ever open them again..if my so called loved ones ever read this I just want to let y'all know that the only 16 years of life that I lived were shit and after this I'm shooting mysel:"(
Hang in there, please.:(

Since: Mar 13

UK

#27 Mar 21, 2013
Scott wrote:
What difference does it make if I die now, at 24, or bearing 50 more years of nothingness? What if I died by accident? I can always make it look like an accident...so is there any real difference?
What a great example you're setting for younger people who are going through a lot like myself, I'm trying to overcome sexual abuse, chronic depression, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and panic attacks, and self harm all in one go, I'm suicidal every second of my life, I have attempted to kill myself 4 times and 3 being overdoses and 1 stepping in front of car, I'm only 16 and you're setting the impression that I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life(y) thanks.
Alone female

Chilliwack, Canada

#28 May 17, 2013
I debate suicide everyday, what would my roommate do if he woke up and I'm Laying here with blood all around me, or should I do it outside by the nature for The Lord to see me go with his surroundings. Why do I want to do it? Cause I'm alone. I'm turning 20 this year. I'm brunette ex Cheerleader. I coach I work in retail I pay rent. Soffocated sometimes in bills. I have a killer wardrobe perfect outfits for going out. Why do I want to commit suicide or tell my friends I'm going to do it. Cause no one has loved me for who I am. It's my body or my looks and my attitude when I am out. I get told I look good with my glasses or with contacts. Then when I'm actually into someone... I'm told to take the glasses off, thanks a lot asshole. Just when I felt good again. And now the guy I'm seeing apperently is missing. Did I forget to mention he fucked my ex bestfrwidn who I'm not friends with anymore because of him. I have his shit and everything here but he's missing, he just disappeared phone disconnected etc. he was meeting someone before i was going to work. Maybe something bad happened. I am sick right now and it hurts so badly. I don't want to live would allow me to miss work tomorrow and not be out thru hell trying to serve customers sick. What makes me stay alive? I know I can do it I know I can jab a knife into me a million times and just bleed it out. But why haven't I... Because I hope that the next day will be better. A guy who cares but has nothing going for his life I turn away. I am not supporting us both like I can afford that. So I just make a barrier and anyone who cares I turn away. I push away. I loved him his name was ray. And I threw him away .. Just like a snap and he cared so much.. But it's what I'm good at pushing people away. I just don't want to live. I want family and I want a house I want to skip all the steps and jump to the end. I hate being 19, being were I am I hate it. But what else can I do, nothing I'm broke and I don't want to make my parents in debt trying to help with schooling. Id rather just die? Does this make me suicidal? I dot know. All I know is I'm alive right now.. And I know if your thinking the same thing I am. You will be okay, just tough it out it's hard but I watch a boy loose his life to cancer while his friend killed himself a month prior. The kid who lost his life wished he had the choice that we do. Find something you love and hold onto it, use it as your passion to carry on. I was raped at 16 yrs old. And I got through it. He stalked me, he tracked me down and denied doing it. I hugged my legs thinking know one will believe me I'm that girl that's making shit up but I know and remember everything. When will I ever let it go just forget it. I wish I could I wish I didn't have all this pain and hurt. But it's hard and it's made me who I am. And just when I open up to someone he's gone again! I hate being broken hearted. I'm not some lg that's 19, that gets played. The one who disappeared I had back in grade 7, and I told him to come back when I was older and now he did but.. Something happened and idk where he is. Ray was 24 I was just turning 19, and he was a sweetie. And I messed up like usual. I wish I could take half the stuff I did back. But can I no? I'm stuck with it. I was paid for sex .. Helped me pay my bills. He's a nice guy but he paid me. He's old.. We'll 42 . It was fun and I don't regret it. He was clean. We're safe. But now what do I do. Where do I go.. Attitude hurts sometimes but what can I say maybe it's time to be full of it. End my life, be a bitch, die at a wedding? Never find love? Go crazy be wild. I hurt so badly .. Wish it would disappear
Alone female

Chilliwack, Canada

#29 May 17, 2013
Scott wrote:
What difference does it make if I die now, at 24, or bearing 50 more years of nothingness? What if I died by accident? I can always make it look like an accident...so is there any real difference?
Don't do it, so much out there to find for your life, open your heart and explore. Don't quit now you do have a future just wait to see it
Alone female

Chilliwack, Canada

#30 May 17, 2013
SON2011Toxic wrote:
It sucks being depressed. And yet there is a certain safety that you find in the confines of your mind. Until suicide jumps in. Im in one of the weirder stages of my depression where everything I see is a death weapon. I know what pills to take and how many will kill me. I know where the more vulnerable veins are to slice with razors. The only reason Im still here is that slight curiosity of what might happen tomorrow. ButI know that that part will soon be gone unless I find help. Qhat sucks the most is Im only 15. I hate it. I hate me. I feel empty.
15. I'm 19, I feel the same way. But tomorrow there is always something knew. Wish I could prove to you that there is. Explore meet new ppl and see what happens. Just wait and trust me
Alone female

Chilliwack, Canada

#31 May 17, 2013
Spudgerald wrote:
<quoted text>
What a great example you're setting for younger people who are going through a lot like myself, I'm trying to overcome sexual abuse, chronic depression, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and panic attacks, and self harm all in one go, I'm suicidal every second of my life, I have attempted to kill myself 4 times and 3 being overdoses and 1 stepping in front of car, I'm only 16 and you're setting the impression that I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life(y) thanks.
I am 19 out on my own. Ask me anything? Ill set you straight with pain. With confusion . I've been thru it all. Make a change in your life and trust me.. Ull see it with the people around you. I decided to go blonde and never wear glasses again. Lets see who judges me now. Give them what they want. And show them you're strong. Someone will catch up and want to see the real you the right you the one who is hiding behind glass wall. I hope one day I can look in the mirror and be proud of myself. But right now I cant. I have made such stupid mistakes. I want to end my life everyday. But I'm here I still standing. Don't know how. But I look forward to tomorrow
Just some person

Mcdonough, GA

#32 Jun 8, 2013
El Segundo wrote:
I just had 13 years' worth of hard work permanently erased. No way I can rebuild that work. I want to kill myself.
don't kill yourself think about the people that will miss you your friends and your family they would miss you
Just some person

Mcdonough, GA

#33 Jun 8, 2013
I'm 19 years old and lately I've been thinking about suicide but I've been reading what people have been writing on here and I have learned that I have it a lot better than alot of people on here but still : my parents hate me , I have no friends and nobody cares about me and I really am still thinking about suicide. I have nothing to lose, right?
I care

Mcdonough, GA

#34 Jun 9, 2013
Just some person wrote:
I'm 19 years old and lately I've been thinking about suicide but I've been reading what people have been writing on here and I have learned that I have it a lot better than alot of people on here but still : my parents hate me , I have no friends and nobody cares about me and I really am still thinking about suicide. I have nothing to lose, right?
There is probably someone out there who cares about you and if you ya know they would miss you. Try to hang in there.
Scott

Hazel Park, MI

#35 Sep 20, 2013
Hello everyone, I made this thread 2 1/2 years ago. Wow it's been a long time feels like.

I'm still alive. I don't feel depressed or suicidal anymore. I just honestly don't think the same way at all as I used to. I used to aim for things, like having "happiness" and goals, etc. Now I just live, like a zombie, and don't think or care about any of that. Honestly, probably for the better.

I recently quit my job and started up 2 businesses. One is making websites, the other is selling stuff online. I pretty much exclusively work now, but I prefer it to working for someone else.

I don't know why I'm typing any of this haha, I just randomly remembered I made this thread and many people responded, so in case anyone was wondering..
Markus
#36 Sep 24, 2013
I have ordered 2 times from this website PILLSMEDSHOP. COM . I called yesterday the customer care and asked for a discount as i was about to order twice the regular amount.
nothing_left

Tobyhanna, PA

#37 Sep 25, 2013
Scott wrote:
What difference does it make if I die now, at 24, or bearing 50 more years of nothingness? What if I died by accident? I can always make it look like an accident...so is there any real difference?
If you can make it look accidental, then a double indemnity may apply to any insurance policies you leave behind.
Me, I have no one to leave anything to, so I'm not going to stage it-- just use the same method my wife used 6 months ago-- 3 breaths and permanent sleep.
Sarah

Halifax, UK

#38 Oct 5, 2013
I'm at my wits end with the world. Everytime things start looking up a big huge part of the world just crashes down on me. I am 19 almost 20 but I really don't think I can cope with the world for another 2 months. Life just feels like a constant battle and a constant struggle. I have no idea how to cope. I am unemployed, I cannot get ID for some reason even though everyone else can. I've lost so many people who I thought I ment something to and I feel like the relationships I have managed to keep hold of could be broken any second. I feel like if I just die then I can escape from any more struggling or pain. I try to sleep all the time so I can just avoid the world.
Leoni

Perth, Australia

#39 Jan 3, 2014
just me wrote:
<quoted text>Go ahead and do yourself,just sguirt one last time
It is not so cut and dry. Do you not realise how painful living is for some people?
For some life is a constant despairing pain. They don't take their own life just because they want to spare pain to others, yet they have to go living in hell on earth themselves.
Kayla

San Francisco, CA

#41 Apr 11, 2014
My husband has destroyed all my dreams in one year. We both come from strong religious families and he told me he is an atheist now after a few years of marriage. He then backed out of buying my dream house that we were under contract on and moved me across the country to a really crappy city where I don't know anyone. I always just wanted to be a stay at home Christian mom but I can't have kids with man. He now stays out late drinking and I am sure he will start doing drugs soon. I cannot tell anyone from back home because of the shame that I would bring down on myself and the pain this would cause my family. I feel so utterly alone. Maybe if it looks like a accident my family won't feel so bad. But I want my husband to know that this is all his fault and that I hope he burns in hell for ruining my life. I had so much potential before I met him, why did I waste my life on him.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Depression Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Accutane Side Effects Exposed: Side Effects of ... (Feb '07) 1 hr Jee39 2,555
Dark Days Here for Folks With Seasonal Depression 6 hr humanSpirit 1
Largest study of Hispanics/Latinos finds depres... 6 hr humanSpirit 1
Anti-Inflammatory Drugs For Depression? The Lin... 6 hr humanSpirit 1
Can ugly people be loved? (Mar '10) Oct 22 Healthnfitness4u 44
Around half of cases of depression and anxiety ... Oct 20 Smack Down 1
How long before feeling the effects of Zoloft (... Oct 17 DeniseT 46

Depression People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE