why stay alive?

[Scott]

What difference does it make if I die now, at 24, or bearing 50 more years of nothingness? What if I died by accident? I can always make it look like an accident...so is there any real difference?

[anon voa]

why die? Do you beat the level when you get to the end? If you're religious, then there is nothing in the after life for you but hell. If you're not religious, then there is literally nothing after you die. Does your family get a money when you die? Even if they did, do you think they give a shit after losing a loved one?

[just me]

Scott wrote:

What difference does it make if I die now, at 24, or bearing 50 more years of nothingness? What if I died by accident? I can always make it look like an accident...so is there any real difference?

Go ahead and do yourself,just sguirt one last time

[Scott]

What is sguirt? And I probably will.

To answer you, anon, people always say dying does not hurt you, it hurts your loved ones. Okay, I can agree. However, were all going to die someday, so all my loved ones will be hurt that day. What does it matter if that day is now or later? Same pain, different day. It only saves me pain, and causes no more pain on their end (supposing I fashion it as an accident...if they know its a suicide I can understand that makes it different).

[moo]

i'm there too. i feel the cold hand of death mockingly over my shoulder.. ready to tap me out.
i have nothing. i am in debt of 43,000 am unable to work. and my boyfriend is going to leave me.
for reasons that are silly and stupid.
and so i feel silly and stupid to want to die.
but what do i care
i won't be here to pick up the pieces.. so what do i care if it happens.
no one gives a shit.
no one cares about me

i'm just so tired i want to sleep forever.
help me sleep.
please.

[El Segundo]

I just had 13 years' worth of hard work permanently erased. No way I can rebuild that work. I want to kill myself.

[hopeless]

yea.. so i've been feeling like i've wanted to die since i was like 14..im 22 now. Things could be worse, least i get income from the feds for now but still, everyday SUCKS, i try to sleep as much as i can, even sleep isn't good, bad dreams kinda.. i don't have anything i want to do, even things i've once liked.. lost any real interst in the opposite sex, or a real job.. i try not to eat cuz its cheaper.. have a place to live for now.. but why am i still alive..????
attempted suicide when i was 16, the rope broke and i woke up on the ground.. almost drowned once.. wish i did.. and almost broke my back and neck a couple times.. so yea, really lame.. why..?? and not sure if i'll stay into this site, email is [e-mail], thanks and everyone.. take care, i try to.

[Fea]

I don't know why I feel like this. In the past I have dealt with drug abuse and self mutilation. Stopped. I'm 20 years old. I'm divorced, my first husband would tell me to kill myself all the time.. I fought through it; used drugs and cutting to deal with my abusive marriage. Finally walked out.
I stopped the drugs; I stopped the cutting. I have a new boyfriend, but he's overseas fighting in some meaningless war and I have no one to talk to. My family doesn't talk to me and it seems like they only try kick me further and further down. I have very few friends cause I don't trust people and I don't want them to worry. I'm feeling so isolated and I'm falling back into the same lifestyle. Drugs is the only way I know how to cope and not hurt myself and I can't get like I was again, I slipped up the other day.. Twice and now it's all I can think about.
I'm in debt, I can't find a job, I don't have a home, I'm living in my car and I won't tell him. My financial aid was suspended for college.
And now my amazing boyfriend is going to come home to my sorry ass that can't seem to handle anything, 7 months from now.
I've been through so much and it's all been my own fault. I don't know why I feel like this. I just wish it would stop before I do something so stupid. Which, in all reality, maybe people like me are just another pest to society and should die. I'm sorry, I feel like crap. I hate myself so much right now.

[Jason]

moo wrote:

i'm there too. i feel the cold hand of death mockingly over my shoulder.. ready to tap me out.
i have nothing. i am in debt of 43,000 am unable to work. and my boyfriend is going to leave me.
for reasons that are silly and stupid.
and so i feel silly and stupid to want to die.
but what do i care
i won't be here to pick up the pieces.. so what do i care if it happens.
no one gives a shit.
no one cares about me
i'm just so tired i want to sleep forever.
help me sleep.
please.

Moo, I care. Your a person, and I'm a person, and so I want you to enjoy your life. We hit roadblocks, and sometimes we crash and burn, but we get up and keep going anyway for a reason. All we really have is each other. Fuck money, Fuck the assholes who don't care about others, Fuck your debt, Fuck your boyfriend. Fuck all that bullshit that makes you and others believe life is not worth living. I promise, just hold on a bit longer. You'll find someone in your life who cares about you and won't leave you in a shithole of a mess. You'll find a job, you'll get through these things. Just a for a minute, look down at the world in your head like in google earth. Imagine your library, your old school, your house. You see neighborhoods, you see communities; you see a library, a school, and a house. I see just a collection of buildings. Each one is just a square container that can have any purpose. Your community is only a community because you see a system of "private property" and "public property" and your "neighbors property." The important part is to remember the only reason anything is what it is because human beings have decided to assign meaning to these containers, and grouped these places together. Your debt is just an idea, one that is enforced yes but is it truly the ruler of all things? No. All you have to do is decide you want to beat your debt and your relationship situation and make your life good, and you can do it because you have your own idea of what the world is, and that will drive you. The best part? No one else can take that from you. All you have to do is decide that you are going to push forward, and go for it. It looks like such a big leap, and it seems almost pointless, but like any great undertaking, once you start, you'll realize your getting somewhere, and by the end you'll have gotten farther than you ever imagined you would. Believe in yourself, believe in me, believe in the good of the world. Just because you can't see it right now doesn't mean its there. Climb higher though, using me and others who care as your ladder to go up step by step, and you'll see the light, and if you just keep climbing, you'll find everything the world has to offer. Let me be your first step. Im pushing you up, now don't be afraid to keep going. Godspeed.

[Anxious]

Am I depressed ? I'm having horrible anxiety attacks. I'm sleeping to avoid them. I get up in the afternoon and run to the computer to avoid my fears. I feel safe in my room or after dark. But really neither feels ok.
The dog waits with me in bed, then I let her out.
I have a list of things to do that are paralizing me with fear ? It's every day stuff we all deal with. My whole body tenses up if the phone rings.
I'm terrified. I don't know what's wrong with me ?
I've been depressed. I'm on Elevil, have been for years. I don't want to take more pills.
I'm married, female, two grown kids moved out.
It's nice outside and I'm hiding in the house.
This is horrible. It's been like this for a few weeks now. Any ideas ?:( Thanks.....

[Anxious]

And now it's midnight.
I tried to sleep, didn't work. I slept to much of the day.
I'm suppose to be places this month.
I can't do it. I just can't.
So, do I lie and say I'm sick ?
People will be mad.......what's new.
They'll get over it.
I did want to fly in a plane again. Only did it once. But, at the end there will be people and hot weather. People I've met once, many years ago. I don't want to be so far from home.
But, I feel locked into this house right now ?
I can go, I have a car. I just can't.
I guess I'm going to disappoint my family, not on purpose.
I have to go to a funeral now :(
Then people are coming here on Sunday. So, I need to clean. Why do I fear this ? It's like panic ? Like I'll get sick and not be able to clean and help ?? This all seems crazy, even to me. Elevil is failing me right now. I don't know what's wrong :(

[mauricio]

I'm having so many problems.at.home.I feel as if the whole world turns against me I dnt have friends my life is fucked up as it is...I just want to close my eyes nd never ever open them again..if my so called loved ones ever read this I just want to let y'all know that the only 16 years of life that I lived were shit and after this I'm shooting mysel:"(

[Anxious]

Aww......you won't be 16 forever.
You'll be 18 soon and free ?
Hang in there, please ??
You have your entire grown up life ahead of you :)

[dust]

its human to feel or think that everyone else is more happier than our ownself, grass is always greener on the other side. but reality is different friends. i am no one to judge anyone on this forum nor recommend remedies but can say only thru experience and thru little that i hv learned in this life. firstly it is necessary to understand that humanbirth is achieved only after our n number of rebirths in which we would have been anything else but human, so firstly we have to appreciate and thank the lord for giving us the human birth and above all thank him for whatever we have. as we take a shower or eat food or go to gym or outings for the body or the mind it is necessary to understand that ever innerself that is our soul needs this too. and this is done in a very simple way by just sharing some quiet moments in a corner prefarably at the same time same place and it will be great if u start with the day before u get up buy sitting in silence and talk to the lord. believe me no one is closer to u than him , oceans may dry sun may dissappear but he will always be there but for that u have to have faith in him that whatever is happening is for my good.automatically the qs arises to everyone is how can my downfall be right for me, well this is a cycle of karmas in your last birth u have done something wrong to that person or someone and hence ur paying for it, as simple as it sounds. and then we find the easy way out suicide, sorry to use the following words but only cowards do that as we think we r released of the pain, but the reality is different, in the cosmic world u will be in more pain than ever, and once u realise this that temporary pain will be better than more in the future it will be easy... frankly this is a rather long subject to convince or share experiences. in short let me put it that without faith we r nothing, try god, we have tried friends, families, well wishers but once u try god there will be miracles happening in ur lifes, i wish i cud share few but i wonder how many will be interested to know.....
and last but not the least when we go to sleep if only we think of the things we shud have done and not done u will automatically realise where our mistakes are.... forgive me if i hurt anyones sentiments or feelings but my point was just to see if i cud even make one person happy i will think i have done by writing on this thread for the very first time ... i call him as my friend and talk to him when i am alone u first will think its being rathere crazy but once the tears of joy fall and u realise that he exists and great souls can see them not a ' no - one ' like me, but i experience him with the miracles he does in my life and in my surroundings.. ofcourse there r days when i am out of focus but as they say show me ur friends i will tell u who u r, so beware of the ppl u be with, its not what ppl think about u but if this ppl help u grow in what u want but not who pull u down, its difficult to find spiritual ppl around but there r many who give u good vibrations and u know they make u feel good and u will surely be able to change things around u... it will be like nothing is going to change around actually but after ur awareness god will be like a chloroform used in operation as u will go thru ur problem but u will not feel the pain as u cannot change ur karmas but surely face them with his help... i think i wrote too much... thx

[the saddest clown]

reading all these comments, i know im not alone, but i still feel that way, i mean its not like anybody wants me around, all i really do is annoy people, so who cares right? all the promises, the honor, none of it matters, nothing matters, it wont get better for me, no ones gonna magically wanna be with me, or even see me, "my loved ones" haven't made any effort to notice me or pay attention to anything i do, and they know i feel this way, i dont have any friends, besides who'd wanna be friends with someone that the only things that matter to him is metallica, if i die, which i probably will, id only have 1 regret, that is that i never met Metallica, but that doesnt matter, it never has it never will

Peace

[Scott]

Man...I'm still alive somehow. Every time I stay alive another month, or year, etc., it's because of some dumb logic that "oh come on it has to get better". It never does. And EACH time it gets WORSE. Why have I not learned??? I must be very stupid. Somebody please convince me to just do it already, I know it's what I want most, I've known that for a long time. I probably just need a little push in the right direction.

[Simo]

Scott wrote:

Man...I'm still alive somehow. Every time I stay alive another month, or year, etc., it's because of some dumb logic that "oh come on it has to get better". It never does. And EACH time it gets WORSE. Why have I not learned??? I must be very stupid. Somebody please convince me to just do it already, I know it's what I want most, I've known that for a long time. I probably just need a little push in the right direction.

Its because deep down you don't want to die and you still have HOPE.... so I'm not doing to tell you to do it already.
I been there , even worst and with hope and faith I made it and now I'm happy I didn't, there are so many other people in you're area who once had the though of killing them self and they survive and you should find a group like that so you have someone that been there, its easier believe me, we all have to keep trying and keep trying till we get there.

[benny ZACK]

LIFE HAS BEEN BAD IM IN PAIN IM REGRET BEING BORN IM 20 AND HAVE NOTHING I STAY WITH MY MOM AND IM OUTTA SCHOOL I JUST LOST MY NAVY JOB DUD TO CANCER WHAT DO I DO I WANT TO DIE

[dust]

benny ZACK wrote:

LIFE HAS BEEN BAD IM IN PAIN IM REGRET BEING BORN IM 20 AND HAVE NOTHING I STAY WITH MY MOM AND IM OUTTA SCHOOL I JUST LOST MY NAVY JOB DUD TO CANCER WHAT DO I DO I WANT TO DIE

sitting in silence with yourself is what u have to start to begin with atleast 10 min a day, u will find ur answers by HIM on your own...i am too small to advice more...it has done miracles to many...

[Sola Dei Gloria]

God gave us a way out through Jesus Christ... not to die, but to live

http://www.unleavenedbreadministries.org/cgi/...

Death and life are in the power of the tongue. In other words, what you believe, is what you will speak, and what you will get. Jesus said, "My Words are spirit and they are life". Get to know Him through His Word, and find healing, life, peace and joy.

Please don't "think" and talk yourself into the grave.