Can ugly people be loved?
Posted in the Depression Forum
#1 Mar 16, 2010
All my life I have been treated bad because
of my looks. My post may be long so bear with me.
I need people to talk to. I'm a really nice
person who people never get to know because
of my looks. I am neatly groomed and a normal
weight, but people are very cruel to me. School
was a living torment. Ever since kindergarten
I was picked on mercifully. A typical day
in high school were boys taunting me and calling
me fungus and on occasion spitting in my hair.
Coming up to me saying I will never get
married and no guy would want to you know.
Girls would make fun of me and teachers
would get mad at me because they were making
a scene. I tried standing up for myself, but
it got me a black eye. I had to eat lunch by
myself on warm days outside. Pranks were
played on me. There is so much more, but
when your'e young this adds so much stress.
My father says things when he is mad.
For example I have full lips, but
their not full like Angelina Jolie, but still
full. He calls me ugly and liver lips.
My relatives are cruel. My cousin and I
when we were close would say on occasion why
are you thin but your'e face is so swollen.
Your'e ugly. I have allergies and swelled a little
but it wasn't that bad. I have another cousin
that had a huge face cause she was fat but people
said she was pretty.
I had a guy when I was getting gas who came over
to me and told me I was ugly!
My post is getting to long but I want to know
any celebrities who are ugly but charismatic?
The funny thing is I think I am average looking!
I have a small button nose with full lips
but their not overly huge and a huge chest
and thin. I must be missing something!
#2 Mar 16, 2010
Kids can be so mean. They learn to be mean from mean parents. Yes, this has to hurt. I feel for you. Really. But the thing is, you don't have to let these issues define your life. For one thing, you can work on your personality. Don't shy away from life and meeting people because of what happened in the past. The other thing, is that there are many folks that feel the same way as you who are looking to be accepted and loved based on their character and fine spirit.
Too, all of us can do things to improve our looks to a great degree, by studying make up, style,etc. Clothes don't have to be expensive to look great. Scavenge the nicer thrift shops. You'd be surprised! Make the most of your eyes. This in itself will draw attention away from full lips. Anyway, what's wrong with full lips. Lots of people have thin lips they wish they could make fuller. Go figure.
And.......there is always the option of having a little carefully thought out cosmetic surgery. A little trim here, or a small adjustment there can make a huge difference. Even Marilyn Monroe's face changed from nice to stunning with some cosmetic surgery. You might talk to a well qualified cosmetic surgeon about your options and start saving your money with that objective in mind. Most of all, pray for guidance and help. If your real with God, he will help you. Not to become a gorgeous knockout, but to have character, and also to sustain you through all the storms and hurts of life we ALL have. I would rather be "you" than the mean people who say and do cutting things.
Add only those who add value to your life and don't hold out for less than that no matter what.
If people can't or won't accept you, God does, and there will be others who will love you just the way you are. Don't accept less in life. You sound like a wonderful person who really does deserve to be loved. Hold on to that thought. Sew love into the lives of others and love will be sewn back into your own life.
My best wishes and prayers go out to you.
God bless :)
West Hoxton, Australia
#3 Mar 16, 2010
You are not missing anything!!! You are beautiful just as you are! There is no such thing as the word "ugly". I know this sounds cliche but beauty really does come from within. If you are friendly, funny and confident in yourself then that is considered to be beautiful. I know plenty of celebrities who have made it to the top without looking like supermodels. Like Robert De Niro for example. He's one of the best actors out there. Success comes from talent, hard work and dedication and NOT from looks.
If people continue to bully you, stand up for yourself without stooping down to their level. Also, hang out with people who accept you for who you are!!!
I guarantee that things will turn around for you!!!
#4 Mar 17, 2010
Thank you everyone for your'e advice.
To hang in there I am neatly groomed
and wear stylish clothes and so forth.
I'm thin so it's not a grooming issue.
If I were to go to a plastic surgeon
I have no clue what he could do I have
a small nose. I am not shy even thought
I am treated like crap and don't feel its
my personality at all.
I have stood up for myself and now I'm in
my 20's i choose to ignore it for the
most part. I just don't understand why I can't
treated like this since I see alot of people
unattractive but accepted.
#5 Mar 17, 2010
Chloe sweetie I feel for you.
The truth is the worls is superficial
and also I hope you don't take offense
to this, but some people just are
not likeable. You may be nice, but
you lack in good looks and don't have
charisma. Some ugly people have charisma
and some don't. You either have
charisma or you don't. Its sad but true a good
looking person does not need it their
automatically accepted. My advice to you would be to accept it and find a hobbby or go to a therapist.
Good luck to you.
West Hoxton, Australia
#6 Mar 17, 2010
You're young and have your whole life to look forward to. Make the most of it, be confident in yourself and most importantly be YOU!!!
Cheers from down under!!!
#7 Mar 21, 2010
I have been called ugly as well, but I am happily married to a wonderful man and I have a close circle of friends who love me for who I am.
I have discovered that many people who have treated me poorly, have actually been jealous of my few successes. People who lash out at others, hate themselves most of all.
I have learned to ignore the verbal attacks and punch the crap out of anyone who physically attacked me - because I am tall, most people chose not to attack me physically.
Be yourself and find your niche! There are lots of people who probably share your interests and that is where you find the people who make the best friends :)
#8 Mar 21, 2010
Cool response. I like a women who is sure of herself. Most people do. Not arrogant, just comfortable with herself. That goes for guys too. There will ALWAYS be someone better looking. Trying to look like celebrities or comparing yourself with others you think are better looking will only make a person miserable. Life's too short.
#9 Mar 21, 2010
Confidence is key. Not being arrogant. but being
happy and confident. Letting go of the hurt
and anger. There are good people in the world.
People can smell fear. If you lack confidence this
will affect your personality.
I used to be shy and prissy, but after years of
putting up with people I became confident and
I don't give a f### attitude. I'm not saying to
have the f #### however I noticed people took
me seriously and I had more friends than ever.
Be yourself. You are as good as anyone.
#10 Mar 24, 2010
Hey...I'm just curious...how old are you? When I was a kid I got made fun of a lot. The funny thing is I was a child model for a little, but once I hit puberty I was awkward. Even before that though I was always picked on for everything. I think it's a vibe I've given off or something.
Today I'm in my early twenties and I feel so ugly all the time but yet I'm constantly being noticed. I bet if you tried a good hairstyle or tried makeup in a certain way, with confidence and the right clothes, you'd not only feel confident but others would see it too.....
I can't believe random people would actually tell you that you are ugly, like just come up to you and say it? I mean in junior high school I had that happen to me but not as an adult...most people don't care if you are ugly or not it they aren't trying to date you or something...I mean...what do your friends say? Do you have a pic?
#11 Mar 24, 2010
actually Robert De Niro was quite cute when he was younger...but for sure he made it big because of his talent!
#12 Mar 25, 2010
Sunray adults can be mean. Some people are childish in their 20's and beyond. Chloe i also have been told i was ugly all my life. Not just when i was a kid but now in my 20's. Don't let superficial people ruin your life. Sometimes people need makeovers, but sometimes it doesn't matter what people do it comes down to features.
#13 Mar 26, 2010
Michelle you are correct. It's not only kids
who are cruel. I thought once I hit my 20's
people would be mature. I have stated in my post
I am neatly groomed. I have a hairstyle
people say looks good except for my face!
I wear nice clothes and makeup.
I have accepted myself it's the people
around me and strangers! Tonight I had to go to
cvs pharmacy to pick up a prescription and
the pharmacist gave me my prescription
and I needed to ask him a couple of questions
and he rolled his eyes at me and as I was leaving
I noticed he was being very nice and helpful to
a woman after me who was just average looking
not to mention a guy who looked in his
20's staring and laughing at me. It's not
me with the problem its other people.
Poeple on this board automatically assumed
I needed a makeover though I specified
I did not.
Since: Dec 09
#14 Mar 26, 2010
You said in another post, you didn't need a makeover. And in another that you wouldn't know what a plastic surgeon could do for you since your nose is small. OK, how do you know if you don't have a consulation? With facial features, it's all about balance.
Here's a couple of links:
My policy is that if you have the power to change something, and it can be done, go for it. That includes how you feel about yourself.
Chloe, one thing for sure is you can't change the nature of other people, and let's face it, some people are just plain mean. That's just the way the world is. You're not going to change that, no matter what. Once you accept that, half the battle has been won.
Best wishes dear heart. You sound like a really nice person that I wouldn't mind having for a friend.
#15 Mar 29, 2010
Yes they can! I work with a woman who is
homely she even jokes about it. Poeple love her.
She is so kind and is married with kids.
My doctor is a homely woman. She is married
with kids. It sounds to me like you need
to find people you have things in common
with. Your relatives sound cruel!
Even if you are homely that should not
prevent you from having some friends.
Your low self esteem is. Life is not
fair sometimes, but you can have a happy
life if you quit caring about stupid
people who I am sure have flaws of their own.
The next time someone makes fun of you pick
out a flaw of theirs! See how they like it!
#17 Mar 30, 2010
There are alot of celebrities that are ugly but
charismatic. Personality is more important actually. Here are some celebrities that I think are ugly in no particular order.
Barbara Streisand. Amazing singer but her nose is horrific and has strong jewish features. I love her. An amazing talent.
Bette Midler looks like Dee Schneider's mom.
Susan Boyle looks like what the cat dragged in. She is so sweet and talented.
Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse, but a great body with style.
Bea Arthur looks like a man I love her though. An amazing presence and intelligence.
Tori Spelling looks like she has down syndrome.
She is a talented comedian and more likeable than
any of the other girls on 90210.
There are more my point is I love these women.
Looks are overrated.
#18 Mar 30, 2010
I can give you a man's point of view.
I have very rarely seen a really ugly woman.
Sometimes if a woman has one bad flaw people
say their ugly which is not fair .
A couple of my friends used to call this girl
ugly because she had a round face and pale skin.
I thought she was average looking not ugly.
People are to obseesed with perfection.
If a woman weighs 300 pounds she needs to lsoe
weight. A person can always make theirself
look better. One woman who made herself ugly
is Priscilla presley. She once was pretty
but distorted her features with plastic surgery.
I would rather have a plain jane girl with
a kind heart andintellect than a beauty who
was dull and cold hearted.
#19 Apr 14, 2010
Most of the time no. If a person has a certain charisma maybe. Especially men. I am a homely
woman who has been treated bad all my life. I
have learned to accept it but its still hard
sometimes. I am thin and well groomed just a bad face. You have to just laugh about it after
awhile life is what it is. I have no children
and i'm not married. But life goes on.
My advice to anyone with this problem
get a college degree and a good career
work on your mind and make a life for yourself.
I'm in college now and i'm enjoying it.
#20 Apr 20, 2010
I have known many people who you might consider beautiful on the outside but inside they were as ugly as one can be.I really don't think you're a homely woman.You're probably beautiful inside and that is the most important and beautiful thing we as human beings can be.
#21 Apr 20, 2010
And you are what I would consider a real man. Thank you
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