I feel same except I haven't actually planned anything.i am so sick of my life. ive been treated for depression for over 3 years now.but no amount f medication or trying to do stuff that i should "enjoy" aren't helping at all. i have a husband and three kids and i know i should be happy,but i'm not and i just want to die and get this misserable life over and done with. i know exactly how i would do it too. i have been hoarding my zolpidem sleeping tablets for months now (i have about 120 of them hidden) and at this stage i just want to take the lot and go for a swim in the lake down in the woods till if fall asleep and drown.
the only thing that is stopping me is the fact that whenever i leave the house i have to bring my youngest child who is only 30 months old. i couldn't do it with him there. who would ensure that he is safe and not fall in the water with nobody to help him?
i think i may sneak out tonight when everybody is asleep. but i am starting to think that maybe it is more than simple depression. what if i am simply being treated for the wrong mental illness? but i feel too silly to say this to my psychiatrist, because i'm only a stupid patient.
i've taken 2mg of xanax to keep me kind of sane today. i really don't want to live anymore, but at the same time i do because i keep hoping that tomorrow will be better. i need some helpful and kind words.
I am hurt beyond hurt.
My own husband hates me that's how I feel.
Why am I here? MY kids
I can't leave my daughter ,youngest one.
I know I won't be here forever and It makes me sad
Bottom line,my husband has mentally and optionally humiliated insults and it hurts on top of hurt.
My family (parents) care too much about everybody else to even care if we r OK.
Friemds? My last BFF for 30 yrs just stopped talking to me cause my hubby made sure to insult her too.
I didnt do anything but I realize now she wasn't a friend either.
I can go
ON and oN and ON but I'm still here.
Will take us... Where is God? I need him and he seems to not hear.