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Eden Srikes Again

Wakefield, UK

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#1
Jun 21, 2011
 
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed, OK maybe a little bit, but it's not my major issue. I have suffered with depression for most of my life, I know what it feels like! This isn't it, it's more of a case that I can see no bright light in the future, I have no hope left.
I am a successful mature graduate with a good degree, astute intelligence, lot's of high self esteem, social confidence, good looks and I can have any man that I set my sights on, however, it's not enough!
I feel overwhelmed with the bleakness of my existence, I know deep down in my heart, that I will never be fulfilled, and I have to live out the rest of my days knowing that the boredom and the relentless mundane activities will slowly drive me insane, if I'm not there already.
I have no passion for life left inside me, I have, in my time, been there, seen it & done the lot! From travel to relationships, to fame & pornography, I have literally tried most of what you can think of and at 28 years of age, there isn't much left for me to do.
Therein lies my issue, I have done so much, so soon, that the rest of my life cannot measure to my own expectations. I do not want to carry on living when life holds no interest, I don't want to commit suicide but I no longer want to exist, as the tedious nature of my life fills me with so much dread, I can no longer see any possible happy future.
I know I have many prospects, and I also realise that most would kill to be in my position, I can have whatever I want, anything that I desired in the past, I have made mine, through hard work, passion and a little OCD! I have created a life that many would envy, but for me, it doesn't hold my interest at all now!
I am lonely, I have friends & family but none I know understand the way I think about things. I feel very alone with my understanding of existence. Most I know are settling down, getting married & popping out sprogs, working the 9-5 and living every single day the exact same as every last day.
I cannot do this, I refuse to accept that this is all there is to life! It's not what I want and it will not be where I end up! I have helped raise 6 siblings, motherhood is not what I am craving! Nor do I crave spirituality, all you God followers please do not even try to convert me, as I have too much rational thinking to even consider it, I follow Dawkins!
Recently my life has become a big problem, as I seek the excitement and originality I desperately crave, I have ended up making stupid decisions and hoping for the best, as I seek the risk and intrigue, I look and find things that aren't actually there, I see them because I want/need to see them. I find myself very disappointed when they don't turn about and this is when I consider suicide as a viable option!
What I am looking for is people who think the same as I, anyone who understands what I am going through, anyone out in the world of cyber space who I could connect with!
I think I just need to know your out there, that I'm not alone, I'm not a freak of evolution and that in the future, I could possibly connect with someone that does understand who I am! Do you exist, or am I really just alone and left aimlessly trying to fill that huge void in my life?
Clever Name

Langley, Canada

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#2
Jun 24, 2011
 
As selfish as it may seem, I'm happy you posted this because I feel very much the same way and am in a similar situation. I think depression may actually be easier to deal with than what you're going through... I guess they go hand in hand.

It's like no matter what I do, I'm never satisfied. I can literally do anything I please, so I choose to do nothing. Nothing seems to fill the void and nobody seems to understand that it goes far beyond depression. It's boredom to an insane degree. Back when I was in school, I was one of the "gifted" students, and I skipped so much that I barely graduated. I just don't see the point in things anymore. No matter what I do, in the end, I always come back to the void.

For a while I thought maybe I was just lonely, so I started dating. Didn't change a thing, in fact, it made me feel even more distant from society because nobody gets me.

Reading over your post again, I don't think I could have put it in to words like you managed to. You described it perfectly.

You are really the only person I've ever heard of that gets it. I've never once met anyone that truly understands what it is like to be this way. Living day in and day out doing things that you feel are pointless. I've often contemplated suicide as well. This world just seems so small and has so little left to offer. The reason I stay is because I realize the toll it would take on my family and it wouldn't really be fair to them.

I hope more than anything that you get this message. I feel as if I've stumbled across the only other human on an empty planet. It's not depression and you are definitely not the only one, there's at least one more like you.
torzolly

Clementon, NJ

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#3
Jul 1, 2011
 
eat a lot so you become overweight or obese.. because fat people are automatically happier.. even if your more succesful while skinny
torzolly

Clementon, NJ

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#4
Jul 1, 2011
 
invent a way to make the body not be harmed by alcohol and then just drink for the rest of life it's like being dead too because poison is in you..
so you won't have to actually kill yourself

Since: Jun 11

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#5
Jul 2, 2011
 

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torzolly wrote:
invent a way to make the body not be harmed by alcohol and then just drink for the rest of life it's like being dead too because poison is in you..
so you won't have to actually kill yourself
Or just keep believing in and following Dawkins, your god, to oblivion.
Painful

Bronx, NY

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#6
Jul 2, 2011
 
It kills me to know that someone feels the same way I do and I'm completely lost so if you've found any answers or ease please help me out. I spend nearly a thousand dollars a month on medicine and therapy and yet I still lay in bed and wish I didn't live this life every night. I thought I was improving getting better I have a supportive family I do well in school I have a plan for my life and an amazing boyfriend but somehow it's still not enough and I'm so lost . I don't want to die but I don't want to live this life anymore I just wish I could be happy like all of my friends who don't have to feel the way I feel or think the things I think. Every time I think that I'm getting better I move backwards and I feel so cheated. All I do is try to fix myself and move forward and feel better but in the big picture I'm only getting worse. I'm broken and unfixable I just want to feel better

Since: Jun 11

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#7
Jul 3, 2011
 

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Americans are so lost. They would try anything and do anything, including suicide just to avoid God.

What's so difficult about believing in an all powerful, all knowing Creator who has the power to heal? Is it their own faulty, limited finite mind, or that they just tend to believe the negative things they've read about God and Jesus Christ?

The Word of God says that Jesus died in place of us to save us from our sin nature. Yes he did and yes he can, and yes he will-- if only people will turn to him in repentance, realizing they need a Savior. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life, who came to give us life and life more fully and abundantly.
Clever Name

Langley, Canada

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#8
Jul 3, 2011
 

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I do not believe in any god for the same reason that you do, because I am an individual with my own opinions and beliefs. I do not look down on you for believing in a god, why do you look down on me for not?

You stated "What's so difficult about believing in an all powerful, all knowing Creator who has the power to heal?"

As well as "The Word of God says that Jesus died in place of us to save us from our sin nature."

If there was an all powerful, all knowing creator, why would he send his own son to suffer a horrific death? Surely if he was truly all knowing, he could have found a far better solution, not involving the horrific death of many people.

There are so many things in the bible and in the history of religion that do not make sense and are just plain despicable. Did it never occur to you that religion was all about money and control over man?

I am no simpleton, I realize that even if I pulled out solid proof, I could never change your beliefs, nor do I want to.

Going back to Jesus dying for our sins... You started out by saying "Or just keep believing in and following Dawkins, your god, to oblivion. "

How is that a nice thing? Is that what Jesus would do? Did Jesus die for you so that you could pass down judgement on your fellow man and make them feel even worse? One of your brothers in need, saying they are lost, and instead of helping or trying to be useful, you comment with that, basically saying "If you are not like me and don't have the same beliefs, go to hell."

Follow your book as you may, and look down on those who don't. Remember one thing, religion doesn't make you a good person and it certainly doesn't make up for any of your character flaws. I would rather be lost and struggling to make my way than be somebody like you.

Since: Jun 11

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#9
Jul 3, 2011
 
Clever Name wrote:
I do not believe in any god for the same reason that you do, because I am an individual with my own opinions and beliefs. I do not look down on you for believing in a god, why do you look down on me for not?
You stated "What's so difficult about believing in an all powerful, all knowing Creator who has the power to heal?"
As well as "The Word of God says that Jesus died in place of us to save us from our sin nature."
If there was an all powerful, all knowing creator, why would he send his own son to suffer a horrific death? Surely if he was truly all knowing, he could have found a far better solution, not involving the horrific death of many people.
There are so many things in the bible and in the history of religion that do not make sense and are just plain despicable. Did it never occur to you that religion was all about money and control over man?
I am no simpleton, I realize that even if I pulled out solid proof, I could never change your beliefs, nor do I want to.
Going back to Jesus dying for our sins... You started out by saying "Or just keep believing in and following Dawkins, your god, to oblivion. "
How is that a nice thing? Is that what Jesus would do? Did Jesus die for you so that you could pass down judgement on your fellow man and make them feel even worse? One of your brothers in need, saying they are lost, and instead of helping or trying to be useful, you comment with that, basically saying "If you are not like me and don't have the same beliefs, go to hell."
Follow your book as you may, and look down on those who don't. Remember one thing, religion doesn't make you a good person and it certainly doesn't make up for any of your character flaws. I would rather be lost and struggling to make my way than be somebody like you.
Dear Clever Name...I was not commenting on your post as you seem to believe. Nor am I passing judgment, or looking down on you or anyone else on this forum. I was merely making a comment. Why is it so hard for people to believe?

Also, I did not respond to Escape from Eden, because she/he made it clear that she/he wasn't interested and did not wish to be responded to with a Christian response.

Giving the truth to someone is never hurtful or a mark of a mean person. If I told you that it was Jesus Christ that delivered me from deep depression and suicide, you would not believe me either because you have you're mind made up as well as the other poster. Nevertheless, it is absolutely true. However, I can truthfully say that indeed, he did. Not that I "got religion" because Jesus is not about religion, as you've implied. He is God. It is your "right" to either believe or disbelieve that.

Discovering through a miracle that he is God and does have the power to heal, deliver and save, does leave me exasperated at times when I see people suffering,depressed and suicidal, and then I read posts such as I frequently do on this forum where people trash talk God, and Jesus, and discourage others from receiving not only healing, but salvation as well. People who are in real trouble in their lives. Merely commiserating with people never healed anyone.

I'm truly sorry if you are offended by my post, but it doesn't surprise me, it's the rule more than the exception by unbelievers. For some reason, depressed suicidal unbelievers get really bent out of shape, even enraged when a Christian posts that Jesus can heal.

It's also no surprise that many don't understand the complexities of the Bible. But it all begins to make sense once one truly begins seeking the truth. Spiritual eyes begin to open and receive light.

Jesus told his disciples, "If you will abide in my Word, then you will be my disciples indeed, and THEN you will know the truth and the truth will make you free". And, for believers, those who have been made free by Jesus, and His Word, that's a win win situation. And worth not throwing the baby out with the bathwater because of preconceived beliefs.
seyriumly

Runnemede, NJ

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#10
Jul 3, 2011
 
I actually believe I spoke to God in some dreams before that's why I almost believe in him..
seyriumly

Runnemede, NJ

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#11
Jul 3, 2011
 
which is actually the wrong reason your supposed to have faith and believe in him without miracles and stuff..
obviously i'm a nutcase..
well atleast I know about it .. that's the 1st step to leaving insanity that I might have.. atleast I don't see like weird stuff..
hey go use a quiga board if God ain't real.. and see if the devil doesn't jump out of it in ya face.. and then tell me it never happened so I can be a scared person and not believe you and never use one because I've heard so many stories ..
no matter how much gospel people put on me there was always a part an element of myself that just would not take no for an answer when it came for things to go my way.. like you are gonna tell me I can't have something because God said it .. well i"m gonna believe you interpreted the scripture wrong man.. you sure did I think it wasn't like that you gotta show me..
seyriumly

Runnemede, NJ

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#12
Jul 3, 2011
 
but regardless I seem to have the best morals of anyone around like I would never cheat on my wife if I had one and stuff..
seyriumly

Runnemede, NJ

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#13
Jul 3, 2011
 
but i'm just stating the part of yourself wants to rise up in sin even though you would strive hard to be in perfection for the lord as much as you can break free from the sinful nature but may fail.. then what.. try again..

Since: Jun 11

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#14
Jul 4, 2011
 
seyriumly wrote:
I actually believe I spoke to God in some dreams before that's why I almost believe in him..
God has used dreams many times to reach people. And there are many dreams that were recorded in the Bible. After all, God is God so I suppose He can use any method he wants to talk to people.

Since: Jun 11

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#15
Jul 4, 2011
 
seyriumly wrote:
which is actually the wrong reason your supposed to have faith and believe in him without miracles and stuff..
obviously i'm a nutcase..
well atleast I know about it .. that's the 1st step to leaving insanity that I might have.. atleast I don't see like weird stuff..
hey go use a quiga board if God ain't real.. and see if the devil doesn't jump out of it in ya face.. and then tell me it never happened so I can be a scared person and not believe you and never use one because I've heard so many stories ..
no matter how much gospel people put on me there was always a part an element of myself that just would not take no for an answer when it came for things to go my way.. like you are gonna tell me I can't have something because God said it .. well i"m gonna believe you interpreted the scripture wrong man.. you sure did I think it wasn't like that you gotta show me..
I don't think you're a nutcase at all. You are closer to the truth than you realize. But, why not believe in dreams and miracles? God had to do a miracle to get my attention because I was a hard core atheist when the LORD saved, healed and delivered me from hopeless depression and suicide. That's how I came to believe in Him, and no, nothing will ever shake that faith out of me. I know He's real. It is a personal thing with each person however. One on one with God. He's not going to force anyone to believe in Him and he's not obligated to have to prove his reality either.

But you are right, there is that old sinful nature in us that wants to do our own thing. If Christians are trying to be real with God, they will cooperate with God in overcoming that nature. But in the long run, it's the happy way. Satan tries to get us to do what ever feels good at the time, then later he turns the screws. God gives us the best and the right way because he loves us.

God proved his love for us by coming in the person of Jesus Christ, and was willing to die a painful death at the hands of cruel men, his own creation. So, no one can say that God is unmerciful or unjust.

Since: Jun 11

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#16
Jul 4, 2011
 
seyriumly wrote:
but i'm just stating the part of yourself wants to rise up in sin even though you would strive hard to be in perfection for the lord as much as you can break free from the sinful nature but may fail.. then what.. try again..
None of us can get there by our own efforts. That would be "works". And we can't save ourselves, or even change ourselves. What it takes is faith in God to believe he can change us if we are willing to be changed.

"God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you canít take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. 10For we are Godís masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2

I still make a lot of mistakes, some of which have been pretty painful. But God does give grace to overcome these things. The Word says that if we confess our sins, Jesus is faithful to forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. I take "cleansing" to mean that God will change that and help us overcome whatever it is we need to have changed. The original title of this thread speaks volumes, life really isn't enough. We will never be fulfilled in this life without God.

God bless you in all ways. You made some great comments too.
Clever Name

Langley, Canada

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#17
Jul 4, 2011
 

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"Also, I did not respond to Escape from Eden"

Then why did you post anything at all? This is her thread, she posted it and you have the audacity to not only post about religion despite her saying she doesn't care for it but to not respond to her at all? What is wrong with you? THIS IS WHY PEOPLE GET ENRAGED BY YOU. Right there is the reason, because you do stupid things like that.

Look what the post has turned in to. She specifically states that she doesn't want all this religious stuff on her thread because it won't help her, and you've come in, taken over the thread and turned it in to nothing but preaching religion. How can you not understand how that would upset somebody?

That would be like you posting a thread about your beliefs and specifically stating "Do not come here preaching Satanism, it will not be of any interest to me" and me turning the entire post in to preaching about Satanism. Can you not take a hint?

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#18
Jul 4, 2011
 

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Clever Name wrote:
"Also, I did not respond to Escape from Eden"
Then why did you post anything at all? This is her thread, she posted it and you have the audacity to not only post about religion despite her saying she doesn't care for it but to not respond to her at all? What is wrong with you? THIS IS WHY PEOPLE GET ENRAGED BY YOU. Right there is the reason, because you do stupid things like that.
Look what the post has turned in to. She specifically states that she doesn't want all this religious stuff on her thread because it won't help her, and you've come in, taken over the thread and turned it in to nothing but preaching religion. How can you not understand how that would upset somebody?
That would be like you posting a thread about your beliefs and specifically stating "Do not come here preaching Satanism, it will not be of any interest to me" and me turning the entire post in to preaching about Satanism. Can you not take a hint?
Again, I did not respond directly to Eden strikes again. This is an open forum, including this thread. Eden strikes again does not own or have exclusive rights to this thread.

What I think this all boils down to is that some people feel I, or other Christians have a right to speak, "as long as it doesn't offend them". Then, at that point, I no longer have a right to speak. Nevertheless, whether it offends people or not, I, and other Christians not only have a God given right to speak, but a mandate to tell people about Jesus Christ, even if they get persecuted for it and they do. Look at the stats, who gets persecuted and even killed for their faith? Atheists? No, it's always Christians and/or Jews.

What strikes me as strange is that unbelievers never seem to realize that they can bash Christians, God, Jesus Christ, and the Bible and insult them endlessly and we are supposed to tolerate it, which most do. For example, if you go to Christian forums you will without doubt find atheists there who seem to have no other purpose in life but insulting and denigrating Christians, Christianity and God. If you want to continue making an issue of this, instead of posting your own purpose on this forum, please do, but my purpose here is to tell people that contrary to conventional thinking, Jesus Christ can and does heal depression and suicidal intentions no matter how deep and hopeless they may feel their personal circumstances are. That's not religion or opinion, it's fact. How do I know? Been there, done that. He did and He will to anyone that comes to Him in repentance and just a small bit of faith, asking for help and forgiveness. It's a subjective thing between each individual and God.

God bless you~
Clever Name

Langley, Canada

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#19
Jul 4, 2011
 
"Again, I did not respond directly to Eden strikes again. This is an open forum, including this thread. Eden strikes again does not own or have exclusive rights to this thread. " You are starting to sound like a lawyer. I guess you go by the saying "It's not what's right, it's what's legal."

Yes, you have a right, but you said you didn't understand why people get enraged, I just told you why. You have a "right" to speak, but that doesn't make it right to do so. You have a right to annoy people to death, and do so on a daily basis. You just don't get it.

I think you said it all right here. "For example, if you go to Christian forums you will without doubt find atheists there who seem to have no other purpose in life but insulting and denigrating Christians" - So because some people are disrespectful on your forum, that makes it okay for you to be? Say what you like, it was disrespectful to post on this thread and not even post to the original poster. No, they do not "own" this thread and yes, you have a "right" to ramble on about your beliefs but it was disrespectful of you to do so. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be talking to you right now.

I can see we are going to have to agree to disagree. End of discussion.

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#20
Jul 4, 2011
 
torzolly wrote:
invent a way to make the body not be harmed by alcohol and then just drink for the rest of life it's like being dead too because poison is in you..
so you won't have to actually kill yourself
Ya, interesting suggestions, which, while not being helpful, and perhaps harmful, at least you didn't offend anyone by talking about God.

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