Worried about my 17 year old son

Worried about my 17 year old son

Posted in the Depression Forum

Since: Feb 07

Bhopal, India

#1 Feb 27, 2007
Hello all,
Every time my son has a girlfriend he becomes obsessed and does not come home until 10pm, I am so surprised his grades are good but this time around with this new girl he only met two months ago he started cutting class and failed one marking period due to his absentees. Yesterday they broke up and he went into a deep depression, when I came home he was laying on the floor crawled up into a ball crying, and he even says he wants to kill himself and that he hates god. He even said god I wish I had a beer to forget my depression. He also continued to say how he has not slept, ate, and can’t concentrate in school because of this girl. I did not know what to do so I gave him a valium so he can relax for the rest of the night. What should I do.
Zoompad

Reading, UK

#2 Feb 28, 2007
Hello,

I don't think valium is a very good idea - hope you don't mind me saying this. And although beer is very nice, don't let him associate drinking this splendid drink with blotting out depression, as this will not only create a drink problem, but ruin the experience of a nice pint with negative associations.

Your son sounds like a boy who is very serious and thoughtful - the sort of boy who will one day make a good husband for some lucky woman. The trouble is, these teenage years are very painful for sentitive teenagers, they fall in love so deeply, and are devestated when it all comes to an end. The hormones are working overtime at this age, it really is very difficult.

Try to explain to him that his hormones are working overtime. I'm sure he doesn't really mean it about hating God, it's just that his body feels so uncomfortable, with all the emotions and feelings whizzing around.

You'll have to reassure him that he will get over the pain, that it will soften. You'll have to reassure him that you love him. Doing stuff together at this time is really important. Don't belittle his feelings, give him space to grieve his lost love, and let him talk - but don't force him to. Just be kind to him, and he will come through ok.

Since: Feb 07

Bhopal, India

#3 Feb 28, 2007
colin222 wrote:
Hello all,
Every time my son has a girlfriend he becomes obsessed and does not come home until 10pm, I am so surprised his grades are good but this time around with this new girl he only met two months ago he started cutting class and failed one marking period due to his absentees. Yesterday they broke up and he went into a deep depression, when I came home he was laying on the floor crawled up into a ball crying, and he even says he wants to kill himself and that he hates god. He even said god I wish I had a beer to forget my depression. He also continued to say how he has not slept, ate, and can’t concentrate in school because of this girl. I did not know what to do so I gave him a valium so he can relax for the rest of the night. What should I do.
I think you should suggest therapy to your son. He sounds as though, he may have some sort of depression, but also attaches himself to these girls very easily, which usually stems from separation anxiety, which is a disorder. My guess, he doesn't feel whole & he is clinging on to these girls as a way of making himself feel worthwhile.
He is missing something within himself; that I know for sure. I had similar problem with my daughter in past. One of my friends suggested me about brain engineering labs. I think their site is ebrainlabs.com . It really worked well for her and I find appreciable improvement in her behavior. I think you should try their services.
Good luck!!!
Stacey

Phoenix, AZ

#4 Feb 28, 2007
colin222 wrote:
Hello all,
Every time my son has a girlfriend he becomes obsessed and does not come home until 10pm, I am so surprised his grades are good but this time around with this new girl he only met two months ago he started cutting class and failed one marking period due to his absentees. Yesterday they broke up and he went into a deep depression, when I came home he was laying on the floor crawled up into a ball crying, and he even says he wants to kill himself and that he hates god. He even said god I wish I had a beer to forget my depression. He also continued to say how he has not slept, ate, and can’t concentrate in school because of this girl. I did not know what to do so I gave him a valium so he can relax for the rest of the night. What should I do.
Get him to a doctor or a psychologist now!
Zoompad

Reading, UK

#5 Mar 1, 2007
Stacey wrote:
<quoted text>Get him to a doctor or a psychologist now!
Be careful of doctors and psychologists. If you use their services, make sure you go with him.

I'm a sexual abuse survivor, and had a lot of experience with psychologists. They screwed with my mind and fu**ed it up even more than it already was! In the end, it was ordinary people, friends, who helped me. I don't have a lot of nice things to say about psychologists at all.
Earl

Cary, IL

#6 Mar 1, 2007
Zoompad wrote:
<quoted text>
Be careful of doctors and psychologists. If you use their services, make sure you go with him.
I'm a sexual abuse survivor, and had a lot of experience with psychologists. They screwed with my mind and fu**ed it up even more than it already was! In the end, it was ordinary people, friends, who helped me. I don't have a lot of nice things to say about psychologists at all.
I totally agree with you! I am on disability and have been in "treatment" for PTSD, major depression and anxiety for almost 5 years. The first 2 1/2 years that I spent with shrinks and on meds were absolute hell. The following is my "Ode to Psychiatry":
The shrinks all try to tell me that I’m very, very ill.
But the only hope I’m offered is a sugar coated pill.
I’ve tried to be compliant, but it doesn’t help at all.
They do not hear a word I say. It’s like talking to a wall.
I’ve done a lot of research. And I’ve read a lot of books.
The treatment I’ve been offered is more scarey than it looks.
The pills they try to give me are a poison in disguise.
It took me quite a while, but I’ve opened up my eyes.
Where is the human dignity, compassion and respect?
All I get is double talk, cruelty, and neglect.
I’ve learned a dirty secret that the doctors will not tell.
It’s not their true intention to ever make me well.
If shrinks were honest people, they would tell me to my face
They think I’m an embarrassment to the human race.
They think I’m an anomaly who deserves to be destroyed.
They think I’m not entitled to have sex or be employed.
They want to kill my brain cells since I’m better off that way.
They want to keep me feeling bad until my dying day.
It’s all about the money, not about my mental health.
The only thing they care about is sharing in the wealth.
You may think that I have given up on ever getting well,
But I’m even more determined to survive this living hell.
I’ll draw upon my inner strength that’s been with me all along.
I’ll refuse to let them tear me down and tell me that I’m wrong.
I’ll succeed in getting better, no matter what they say or do.
My parting words to all the shrinks is simply a “f**k you”!
Stacey

Phoenix, AZ

#7 Mar 1, 2007
Zoompad wrote:
<quoted text>
Be careful of doctors and psychologists. If you use their services, make sure you go with him.
I'm a sexual abuse survivor, and had a lot of experience with psychologists. They screwed with my mind and fu**ed it up even more than it already was! In the end, it was ordinary people, friends, who helped me. I don't have a lot of nice things to say about psychologists at all.
For all we know, the kid has hypothyroidism and that is causing his depression. I would think she should rule out any physical causes first. Hell, what if a prescription anti-depressant helps the kid. I just don't want to see him kill self.
Zoompad

Reading, UK

#8 Mar 4, 2007
Stacey wrote:
<quoted text>For all we know, the kid has hypothyroidism and that is causing his depression. I would think she should rule out any physical causes first. Hell, what if a prescription anti-depressant helps the kid. I just don't want to see him kill self.
Nobody wants that. But a lot of people get put on pills and they just don't work - in fact, they make things even worse! Earl has said it all, in the post above.

It's like his western world of ours has gone crazy anyway. How can it be right that we live in a society that has so many children living rough on the streets, where so many people just seem to have allowed themselves to be turned into unfeeling, unthinking robots? One third of our society is mentally ill apparently! Yet there's plenty of pills being taken! They can't be working very well, can they?
Zoompad

Reading, UK

#9 Mar 4, 2007
Earl wrote:
<quoted text>I totally agree with you! I am on disability and have been in "treatment" for PTSD, major depression and anxiety for almost 5 years. The first 2 1/2 years that I spent with shrinks and on meds were absolute hell. The following is my "Ode to Psychiatry":
The shrinks all try to tell me that I’m very, very ill.
But the only hope I’m offered is a sugar coated pill.
I’ve tried to be compliant, but it doesn’t help at all.
They do not hear a word I say. It’s like talking to a wall.
I’ve done a lot of research. And I’ve read a lot of books.
The treatment I’ve been offered is more scarey than it looks.
The pills they try to give me are a poison in disguise.
It took me quite a while, but I’ve opened up my eyes.
Where is the human dignity, compassion and respect?
All I get is double talk, cruelty, and neglect.
I’ve learned a dirty secret that the doctors will not tell.
It’s not their true intention to ever make me well.
If shrinks were honest people, they would tell me to my face
They think I’m an embarrassment to the human race.
They think I’m an anomaly who deserves to be destroyed.
They think I’m not entitled to have sex or be employed.
They want to kill my brain cells since I’m better off that way.
They want to keep me feeling bad until my dying day.
It’s all about the money, not about my mental health.
The only thing they care about is sharing in the wealth.
You may think that I have given up on ever getting well,
But I’m even more determined to survive this living hell.
I’ll draw upon my inner strength that’s been with me all along.
I’ll refuse to let them tear me down and tell me that I’m wrong.
I’ll succeed in getting better, no matter what they say or do.
My parting words to all the shrinks is simply a “f**k you”!
I tell you what though - you've still got your faculties intact. I know exactly what you mean, and have felt exactly the same. I hink mental ill services are mostly about lining the pockets of the drug companies, and sh*te psychologists? I have met so many of them, and very few who were actually human beings.
Earl

Cary, IL

#10 Mar 5, 2007
Zoompad wrote:
<quoted text>
I tell you what though - you've still got your faculties intact. I know exactly what you mean, and have felt exactly the same. I hink mental ill services are mostly about lining the pockets of the drug companies, and sh*te psychologists? I have met so many of them, and very few who were actually human beings.
Thank you for your support. I truly believe that the only reason I still have my faculties in tact is because I refuse to take meds! It's not easy to fight the system (my list of providers is now over 20!), but I won't settle for the crap that most of them try to dish out. I think that most of the "experts" today are crazier than their patients! It's just so sad that so many people trust the system and do not realize how damaging their "treatment" really is. Regular doses of compassion, respect, and constructive ideas will help more than pills do, and with no devastating side effects.
Ariel
#12 Sep 26, 2013
I have ordered 2 times from this website PILLSMEDSHOP. COM . I called yesterday the customer care and asked for a discount as i was about to order twice the regular amount.
Charlot

UK

#13 Jan 30, 2014
I've been on Effexor from http://goo.gl/PJZwMF only one week but am cautiously very optimistic. Prior to this I was on citalopram but still feeling very low and sleeping poorly, feeling like I needed to be in bed 12-16 hours a day. Now I am waking naturally after only 8 hours sleep and finding it much easier to concentrate at work. I can hardly believe it is working so quickly but I feel so much better. I've had no side effects.

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