Teens cutting. A cry for help
Anonymous

Fort Worth, TX

#22 Nov 20, 2006
My friend is a cutter. I recently found out she's been cutting since she was 12 and she's now 18. Her life as a child was terrying to say the least. In a drunken-emotional state she cried out to us, but not for help. The next day she was mortified. We all cried, wondering how we didn't notice before. I want to help so badly! What can I do? What do I say if she thinks its the only thing that relieves stress? Help me, help her!
Farton Paedoes

Harrogate, UK

#23 Nov 21, 2006
She's lucky to have a friend like you. You are actually listening to her, trying to help her.

If she says it it the only way to relieve stress than you can't really argue with her, no matter how much you care. There will always be a reason for the cutting though. The main thing is that she knows she has you to talk to, when she is ready to deal with the real stuff, the reason she is cutting.

I was abused as a child so badly and reabused over and over. I am getting so much stronger, and it is because of people like you, people who have listened to me rambling on and on, getting the poisonous details out and being listened to and believed.

You sound like a really caring person. I hope you will carry on being such a good friend, but try not to feel bad if your friend cuts, and never feel like you have let her down because you don't know all the answers.
syndee

AOL

#24 Nov 25, 2006
Im 16 i have been cutting for like 2 years now and i need help, people may think i have a happy life and that im happy but im not, i have thought about suicide and i have tried but nobody knows and i feel like i have no true friends that i can trust and im just alone in this world and i just give up, i dont know what to do anymore, i was abused when i was little and my parents dont know and just alot more shit in my life and i turn to cutting, i smoke and drink and i sometimes pop pills i really need help .... PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME SOON BEFORE IT GETS TO FAR, my email is [email protected] plesae help me... i need to talk.....i just cant do this anymore
Zoompad

Harrogate, UK

#25 Nov 27, 2006
syndee wrote:
Im 16 i have been cutting for like 2 years now and i need help, people may think i have a happy life and that im happy but im not, i have thought about suicide and i have tried but nobody knows and i feel like i have no true friends that i can trust and im just alone in this world and i just give up, i dont know what to do anymore, i was abused when i was little and my parents dont know and just alot more shit in my life and i turn to cutting, i smoke and drink and i sometimes pop pills i really need help .... PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME SOON BEFORE IT GETS TO FAR, my email is [email protected] plesae help me... i need to talk.....i just cant do this anymore
Stacy, I just read this, and I'm so glad I found your message.

I can see how desperate you are from the way you wrote. PLEASE don't do anything, I am not good at email and stuff, but I will try to e you.

I am an abuse survivor as well, and it was a great relief to me to find that there were many other people who had been abused. I know that sounds horrible, but I felt less on my own, and it helped me to realise that the abuse was not my own fault - abused people have a tendency to blame themselves.

There is a very good site for child abuse survivors, called SAFELINE, try googling it in and come and join us. You will meet lots of other people who have been abused, and developed PTSD, or become cutters, or other things. It is a very good, safe site where you can talk to other people who really will understand you, and there is a telephone line as well.

I will try to e you, but if I can't, I will talk to you here again, or on Safeline.

Please keep safe - I care about what happens to you - I know what it is to have been abused - please don't give up, life can be worth living again, really it can. And there are some good people around too, kind people who don't hurt other people.
secret

Bradenton, FL

#26 Dec 3, 2006
I am a 39 year old cutter. I have not cut in 2 months now, but the feeling is back. Cutters don't mean to hurt their loved ones, it's just our way of releasing pressure and pain.
crazy in a chemical way

Wakefield, RI

#27 Dec 6, 2006
I am 16. Iíve been a cutter for four years, on and off. Or, if scratching myself with my nails till I bleed counts, far longer. Iíve drunken myself into horrible states, and popped pills till I was too numb to move. Out of all the things Iíve done to myself, cutting helps the most, it really is a releasing of pained pressure.
I have social anxiety, I I feel like everything I say is the stupidest thing ever, I feel like everyone hates me. I am also ďBipolarĒ or so says my doctor after looking at my brotherís file and saying siblings have similar mental disorders (I am the youngest of four children). My mom killed herself when I was nine. My brothers and I found her. My dad still grieves for her, he is so unbelievably depressed, he doesnít do much of anything. He goes to work and comes home and plays solitaire on the computer. I feel like I have to take care of him, and I try so hard to make him feel like a good father, but my brother makes him feel like shit.
My brother is heartless or crazy. He blames my dad for my mom dying, he blames my dad for everything that goes wrong. He complains to me about everything, like I live to listen to him bitch. My dad complains to me about my brother, about how he is never satisfied.
I love them both, but they donít seem to realize how much Iím hurting. Iíve been living with sad males since I was nine, and I donít know how to deal with anything, because we never talk. I have no one to go to, because I donít want to upset their already fragile states.
However pathetically clichťd, Iím also suffering from a break up. I feel pathetic, but it is having a huge effect on me. We were together for eight months. We spent nearly everyday together and spoke on the phone twice or more a day. It was so good. I finally felt really loved. Then he got fed up with me. He broke all the promises. He said we would still be friends, and we were. But I maintained this hope that we would get back together, so I never really let go. Now things have changed. Iíve gone from meaning the world to him to suddenly being nothing. Iím the one he tries no to look at in class. He doesnít talk to me, and if I do try to talk to him, he gets edgy like heís angry that someone will see us.
I feel so rejected. Iím hurting so bad. I donno what to do. I just want to hurt myself.
Zoompad

Harrogate, UK

#28 Dec 7, 2006
crazy in a chemical way wrote:
I am 16.

I feel so rejected. Iím hurting so bad. I donno what to do. I just want to hurt myself.
I am so sorry. You sound like a really lovely person, a really caring, kind person.
No wonder you are depressed, with all that stuff happening to you, plus the doctor slapping a label onto you. If that doctor could walk in your shoes for a few days he would probably take off that label of "Bipolar" and label you as "Sad with good reason" instead.
I think your dad and your brother need to know how much they are hurting you, and you're going to have to tell them. It sounds like your dad needs to dry his tears for your mum now, and get on with his life, because it is very sad that he has lost his wife, but she's just not going to come back, no matter how much he cries.
It sounds like your family need to learn how to have fun together, rather than all this mopsing about. Perhaps some days out together, a few shared family experiences? A picnic in a lovely place, a day out at the zoo or something? You will probably have to say to the pair of them, "Look, I love you guys, but where is our happy family?"
Have you ever seen the film "Love Actually"? Perhaps all three of you should watch it together. Perhaps all three of you should sit down and watch a movie together once a week - your dad could turn off the solitaire for a few hours and you could put some nice munchy treats and nice fizzy pop and stuff on the coffee table in front of the tv sofa. It looks like you're going to have to take the inititive if you want things to change, but things CAN change, so don't lose hope.
I almost killed myself a few years ago, because of enormous pressures, and I am so glad I read what you wrote - I see now what happens to the folk who get left behind after a suicide. My son would have suffered as you have.
I am sceptical of that doctor's label on you. It's hardly surprising you are depressed, given what you are trying to cope with. It's not surprising your own love life is suffering. You are certainly not stupid, you sound really intellegent and really caring and nice and incredibly strong.
sing4mylife

Redford, MI

#29 Dec 7, 2006
XxDarknessCreepsxX wrote:
If you were to look at my life, everything feels normal, seems normal, and SHOULD be normal. My family loves me never hurts me, my friends would care if I told them but I love them enough not to bother them and the guy I like seems to like me back? Why should I cut? I ask my self that eveeryday, why why why why? It just feels better afterwards and I don't know why? Can any awnser my question?
I have been diagnosed with depression quite recently. Let me first say that if your friends truly care about you, then they would WANT you to 'bother' them. I know you feel guilty about being a burden but trust me, a true friend would feel better knowing than not. I had a friend who cut for a while and what I did to help her was give her my cell phone number and tell her that at the first moment she felt like cutting to call me, we would try to talk it out, and if she still felt like cutting, she would do it on the phone with me. After one phone call, she stopped. Finding even just one friend who can help you like this will lighten your load immensly. The only other piece of advice I have is to have a pre-cutting ritual. Drink one full glass of water before you cut, run in place for 2 minutes, turn on your favorite song and sing with it first. These types of things can distract you a little bit and if you push yourself to do them, you might not feel like cutting anymore. Plus, if you do begin to associate them with cutting, just doing them might give you the satisfaction. Most people cut because of control issues. It's also the same reason a lot of people have eating disorders. You need to find something healthier to take control of. You sound like you have a pretty ''normal'' life. It's never true, most people who look ''normal'' on the outside have a lot of struggles on the inside. Find something to do that you can do on your own and have complete control over. I find that I like craft projects (I am in the process of making a christmas skirt for my miniature christmas tree), you might like to paint, if you like to sing- work on bettering yourself, and always give yourself positive feedback, hard as it may seem. Well, I hope some of this helps. Remember: you aren't stupid for cutting. you can control your cutting. and you are a wonderful person with tons of potential. Feel better!
Loves Suicide

Everett, WA

#30 Dec 12, 2006
Jazz I am so sorry you have gone through all that pain. no one deserves to go through that, i am really sorry
Laura

Amos, Canada

#31 Dec 17, 2006
Hi guys...i am 14 years old..i've only been cutting for about a month, i'm not sure why i do it exactly, i have a friend whose been cutting for a year now too...but i know its not because of her, and she would never pressure me into it cause she hates it herself. she's the farthest thing from my mind when i do it. she thinks its her fault but its not. I have a guy, i have friends, and i have the family, but i don't know, i feel alone, like none of them actually care...
i don't know what to do.
i'm starting to scare msyelf, just last night i did thirty cuts.
any advice welcome.
-Laura
Peggers

Rancho Palos Verdes, CA

#32 Dec 19, 2006
even though i don't know u i belive there is a solution to ur problem and u should face it
Peggers

Rancho Palos Verdes, CA

#33 Dec 19, 2006
my last comment was for laura
Peggers

AOL

#34 Dec 19, 2006
Laura plz try to contact me here because at my school I have a health class and i have to do a group project to do and my group picked cutting. i hope we can talk to each other more about cutting. because i would like to hear about ur side of the story. i hope we can comunacate w/ each other on the phone. even though i am 12 i would like to be friends. i am not a cutter but i think i can help u. ur age is the closes age to me and i really hope we can be friends cause i would like to help u.
Peggers

AOL

#35 Dec 19, 2006
i will check in later i hope u contact me
i am a sinner

UK

#36 Dec 20, 2006
hi,im 16 and goin to coll. i cut. I was abused as a child, its been four years since my mum last hit me, but the pain of my childhood has just begun.Ive hidden it for so long..but recentally things have got worse..i have no stable people arund me. I started cutting in Jan well actually i burnt a cross on myself. Recenally ive had a friend tell me abt christianality and i got interested, i told him i cut in october and we still talk everyday but i never talk abt my cuting. I cant be a christian and cut. I dont want to cut.But i dnt want n e one to know.Im stuck.No one cares about me. I told my best friend and shes just accepted it.I cant tak abt it to her..she jus says..well stop..great.
i just want to help

Rancho Palos Verdes, CA

#37 Dec 20, 2006
i am a sinner wrote:
hi,im 16 and goin to coll. i cut. I was abused as a child, its been four years since my mum last hit me, but the pain of my childhood has just begun.Ive hidden it for so long..but recentally things have got worse..i have no stable people arund me. I started cutting in Jan well actually i burnt a cross on myself. Recenally ive had a friend tell me abt christianality and i got interested, i told him i cut in october and we still talk everyday but i never talk abt my cuting. I cant be a christian and cut. I dont want to cut.But i dnt want n e one to know.Im stuck.No one cares about me. I told my best friend and shes just accepted it.I cant tak abt it to her..she jus says..well stop..great.
i am doning a project in my class and i would like to get in contact with u so plz reply to this mesage plz.
Zoompad

Knaresborough, UK

#38 Dec 20, 2006
i am a sinner wrote:
hi,im 16 and goin to coll. i cut. I was abused as a child, its been four years since my mum last hit me, but the pain of my childhood has just begun.Ive hidden it for so long..but recentally things have got worse..i have no stable people arund me. I started cutting in Jan well actually i burnt a cross on myself. Recenally ive had a friend tell me abt christianality and i got interested, i told him i cut in october and we still talk everyday but i never talk abt my cuting. I cant be a christian and cut. I dont want to cut.But i dnt want n e one to know.Im stuck.No one cares about me. I told my best friend and shes just accepted it.I cant tak abt it to her..she jus says..well stop..great.
I was abused as a child as well. I recognise what you say, about the abuse stopping, but the pain of rememberance starting.

You sound like you understand what's happening so well, like you realise that you need stable people around you. It's hard when the people around you are unstable as well.

I'm a christian too, although I no longer go to church, due to abuse issues. I'm sorry to have to say this, but there are abusers who join the church as it is a good place to find potential victims to abuse, and that is what happened to me - I was re-abused in the church! So I don't go any more, but I do read the Bible and am always glad to spend time with other christians.

You do not have to burn a cross on yourself though! Do you think God rejects you because you cut? God's just not like that, he's kind, not cold and condemning. I'm sure that if He sees you cutting, all he feels is pity and sadness for your pain, not anger. You can be a christian and cut, but obviously, God does not want you to cut because it is hurting you, and He loves you.

I am glad your mum is not hitting you any more.
im a sinner

UK

#39 Dec 22, 2006
i just want to help wrote:
<quoted text> i am doning a project in my class and i would like to get in contact with u so plz reply to this mesage plz.
ok what sorta project?
im a sinner

UK

#40 Dec 22, 2006
Zoompad wrote:
<quoted text>
I was abused as a child as well. I recognise what you say, about the abuse stopping, but the pain of rememberance starting.
You sound like you understand what's happening so well, like you realise that you need stable people around you. It's hard when the people around you are unstable as well.
I'm a christian too, although I no longer go to church, due to abuse issues. I'm sorry to have to say this, but there are abusers who join the church as it is a good place to find potential victims to abuse, and that is what happened to me - I was re-abused in the church! So I don't go any more, but I do read the Bible and am always glad to spend time with other christians.
You do not have to burn a cross on yourself though! Do you think God rejects you because you cut? God's just not like that, he's kind, not cold and condemning. I'm sure that if He sees you cutting, all he feels is pity and sadness for your pain, not anger. You can be a christian and cut, but obviously, God does not want you to cut because it is hurting you, and He loves you.
I am glad your mum is not hitting you any more.
Hi, im also the-pain-is-real on the other forum..i got confused with names.just so you know im the sme person..ill be the-pain-is-real for both now so i dont get confused.
The cross on my arm was not religion related. But i dont see why god should even av made me if im gonna scar the body he made and not live my life for him.
i just want to help

AOL

#41 Dec 22, 2006
i am trying to find out why teens and others cut themselfs.

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