women in their 50's with depression
Constance

United States

#21 Sep 3, 2010
Janice...and "the wall"..

Change, any kind of sudden change in life's circumstances is very difficult even when one's spouse is there and supportive. Losing a spouse due to death is terrible, and a divorce can seem something like a death has occurred when you're suddenly left alone, and trying to cope with the losses and other issues in life as well, such as finances, kids, lonliness, etc.

I've experienced these storms and trials in my life as well, and God has been a great comfort and healer in my life, and I've found that I've been able not only to weather the storms but come out on the other side a stronger person.

Blessings,

Constance
Janice

Fort Bragg, CA

#22 Sep 3, 2010
thewall wrote:
Thanks for your kind words. I do know there is many women who end up aloneYou can see it on thier faces everywhere. How sad that is.<quoted text>
Yes, it is sad, but I pray that somehow we can all realize that we are not truly alone, and can take comfort in finding and supporting each other. And with God we're never alone. I hope things are getting better for you, and will continue to over time. I'm trying to have faith that that will happen for all of us out there who are hurting so much.
Janice

Fort Bragg, CA

#23 Sep 3, 2010
Constance wrote:
Janice...and "the wall"..
Change, any kind of sudden change in life's circumstances is very difficult even when one's spouse is there and supportive. Losing a spouse due to death is terrible, and a divorce can seem something like a death has occurred when you're suddenly left alone, and trying to cope with the losses and other issues in life as well, such as finances, kids, lonliness, etc.
I've experienced these storms and trials in my life as well, and God has been a great comfort and healer in my life, and I've found that I've been able not only to weather the storms but come out on the other side a stronger person.
Blessings,
Constance
Thanks so much, Constance, for your reply and encouragement. It helps so much to know that there are people like you who have weathered these storms and come out better for it.
Constance

United States

#24 Sep 4, 2010
Janice, I've read your earlier post where you described some of the trauma you were going through. I can relate to this so very well.

I can look back on a time not so long ago, when I found myself in the same boat, going through a divorce I really didn't want, but knew I needed for my own sanity. His instability in every area. His periodic adulteries,(plural). His never being there for me emotionally. His immaturity and narcissim. Not to mention the drinking and sometimes even lapsing over into drug use and then violent, abusive behavior.
After his foolishly and singlehandedly wrecking our business, I was broke, busted and disgusted, and nearly paralyzed with fear at that point in my life, and wondering how I was going to survive the trainwreck. Somehow, God gave me the strength to get through this, and led the way rather miraculously for me to get a decent job that paid the bills to carry me through. It wasn't ideal, but I survived.
For me, I was more concerned about just getting through this time in one piece than I was about whether or not I could still attract men, or about finding a new relationship to fill the void.
A recently divorced woman truly has more serious priorities. And it's probably the worse time to get involved with another relationship. I think it makes more sense to regain and renew our spiritual strength, and focus on rebuilding our shattered lives. When we approach things on that level, good is almost sure to come in the long run. It takes time. God bless you as you walk this out. I really mean that.

Constance
Janice

Fort Bragg, CA

#25 Sep 8, 2010
Constance wrote:
Janice, I've read your earlier post where you described some of the trauma you were going through. I can relate to this so very well.
I can look back on a time not so long ago, when I found myself in the same boat, going through a divorce I really didn't want, but knew I needed for my own sanity. His instability in every area. His periodic adulteries,(plural). His never being there for me emotionally. His immaturity and narcissim. Not to mention the drinking and sometimes even lapsing over into drug use and then violent, abusive behavior.
After his foolishly and singlehandedly wrecking our business, I was broke, busted and disgusted, and nearly paralyzed with fear at that point in my life, and wondering how I was going to survive the trainwreck. Somehow, God gave me the strength to get through this, and led the way rather miraculously for me to get a decent job that paid the bills to carry me through. It wasn't ideal, but I survived.
For me, I was more concerned about just getting through this time in one piece than I was about whether or not I could still attract men, or about finding a new relationship to fill the void.
A recently divorced woman truly has more serious priorities. And it's probably the worse time to get involved with another relationship. I think it makes more sense to regain and renew our spiritual strength, and focus on rebuilding our shattered lives. When we approach things on that level, good is almost sure to come in the long run. It takes time. God bless you as you walk this out. I really mean that.
Constance
Constance - thanks so much again for your replies. It really helps knowing that women like you were able to get through this, and start a new life. My husband could be your ex's twin - the behaviors are so amazingly close. Awhile ago, I looked up the characteristics of narcissism on the internet, and my husband's picture should have been right beside them! I was shocked...all of the behaviors matched. I can't believe what I have put up with all these years. It's a pattern I've repeated with others in the past and I know now that I have to start loving and respecting myself. Better late than never I guess! And I absolutely do not want to enter into another relationship for a very, very long time...I need to get myself straightened out first, big time.
maybe

San Antonio, TX

#26 Oct 8, 2010
bla bla bla, I have it all yet just living feels like a chore to me. Some day's I'd just as soon be dead. What's the point?
iblereader

Landrum, SC

#27 Oct 14, 2010
Earth Girl wrote:
i have depression that i have fought all my life...ive taken so many antidepressants and had many years of counseling...im a very strong woman but today i had a terribel crying spell, everything building up over one little tihing my husband did triggered years of unresolved issues with him, my son, my daughter, my brothers...goes on and on...i feel so used by everyone and wonder if any other women my age would care to exchange some solutions or just to chat about how you have dealt with life...i am a very spiritual person who has spent most my life doing for other and just feel used up and tired...the thought of going to couseling all over again after years of it wears me out...maybe just to talk with someone here would help...beside i dont have insurance ever if i did...thanks and hope to hear from someone..
You are not alone. I am 46 and going thru a really bad depression for the past 4 to 6 months. The only answer I have found in my past years of depression is to never give up. It will get better. Do something nice for yourself. Rmember that God loves you. I try to concentrate on that and yes it is hard. It seems the more I do for my family the more is expected. I just keep going and keep reading Gods word. Every bad bout of depression I have ever had it always passes sooner or later. This has been extra heard and long. Don't give up.
thewall

San Bernardino, CA

#28 Oct 20, 2010
maybe wrote:
bla bla bla, I have it all yet just living feels like a chore to me. Some day's I'd just as soon be dead. What's the point?
there is a point if you are loved by others. but when your phone never rings,and by all the people through the years have forgotten you , indeed I ask whats the point
rain

Bardoli, India

#29 Nov 29, 2010
I have in depression and lost my hope in life please hold my hand
Janice

Fort Bragg, CA

#30 Nov 29, 2010
rain wrote:
I have in depression and lost my hope in life please hold my hand
I have been there too, in that awful place of hopelessness. It was so hard for me to do this, but please ask for help, from others and from God. Eventually things will get better, and I will pray for you. I still am struggling through a terrible divorce and financial ruin, but when things seem too much to bear any longer, I ask Jesus to take my hand and lift me up, and carry me and my burdens, and to please help me through another day. It helps to calm me, and I know He is there. Please hang in there, God loves you.
Claudia

Trumbull, CT

#31 Oct 21, 2011
Hi Earth Girl -
I've read all the posts. Came upon this site today because I was a little down myself. Am in my 50's also, like some of the women posting. But I have had difficulties in my lifetime, times when I struggled with depression, like you. Have a family - my sons are grown now. Relationship problems sometimes are inevitable with people. You really can't get along with people all the time - we are all only human, all of us with our own stresses and problems - trying to interact with each other - children, and adults. So try to keep that in mind. And yes - I agree - that God can really help keep us centered. But also we need to reach out - like you have here - for help from others.
If I were to give advice here to you - to help alleviate the pain in your depression - I recently started meditating again twice a day, as I have a great deal of stress in my life right now. You sit and quietly meditate and clear your mind and think of God, that there is no one but God - and you chase thoughts out when they come - for about 15 minutes. Maybe twice a day. It will be difficult at first, but it gets easier with time. After a couple of wks or month you will definitely feel a difference!
Also - hope you have some people around you to reach out to - if not try and find someone who will talk to you. Even on here.
Also - Earth Girl - your diet - the foods you eat have a great impact on your mood. If there are too many sugars it really does bring you down. Try to make sure you eat proteins and carbs regularly, cutting out as much sugar as you can.
I wish you the very best!!!
Felicia Hobbs

San Jose, CA

#32 Dec 29, 2011
Depression affects anyone at any age. It can be due to many stressors like painful experiences, lack of social support, hormonal imbalance, abuse, etc. Identifying depression at an early stage and undergoing counseling and treatment is very important. Knowing antidepressants and its complications are also needed, since a lot of these drugs are linked to many complications too. For example, Paxil, an antidepressant, it has been observed to have resulted to abnormalities in fetal development.
http://www.paxilbirthdefectlaw.com/paxil-side...
Maria

Bedford, NH

#33 Jan 9, 2012
please fill out my research survey if you have or had depression-
http://kwiksurveys.com/results-overview.php...
thank you so much
Maria

Bedford, NH

#34 Jan 9, 2012
Sorry wrong link- will post correct link in a second
Rob Smith

Chicago, IL

#35 Jan 26, 2012
There are many factors that predisposes a person to depression. Age is one of the factors because certain age groups are more vulnerable to depression. Women at this age usually go through menopause, and this change brings about changes in hormones that also affects the mood of a woman. Read why women are prone to developing depression at http://www.zoloftsertralinebirthdefects.com/u... .
Fight Like A Girl

Apopka, FL

#36 Mar 18, 2012
Earth Girl wrote:
i have depression that i have fought all my life...ive taken so many antidepressants and had many years of counseling...im a very strong woman but today i had a terribel crying spell, everything building up over one little tihing my husband did triggered years of unresolved issues with him, my son, my daughter, my brothers...goes on and on...i feel so used by everyone and wonder if any other women my age would care to exchange some solutions or just to chat about how you have dealt with life...i am a very spiritual person who has spent most my life doing for other and just feel used up and tired...the thought of going to couseling all over again after years of it wears me out...maybe just to talk with someone here would help...beside i dont have insurance ever if i did...thanks and hope to hear from someone..
Dear Earth Girl; I looked for a place where I could talk with other women in their 50's too. I feel like I am reeling. I also have always cared so much for so many, and also feel tired and used up. My husband of 30 yrs had an affair. We're working to recover, but it is hard. My daughter of 20 has been rebelling for almost two years. As an empty nester with a son living out of town,(he's actually doing well - but never in touch), and a husband gone a lot (he's an airline pilot), and the daughter too... it is lonely. I am also a spiritual woman and get strength from there. Though I'm overweight, I also work out regularly. And I'm grateful for two cats. But this is the hardest time of life I've ever experienced. I know a lot of others in their fifties who feel this way too. Why is this decade so hard?!?!
Mary S

Rochester, NY

#37 Apr 4, 2012
I recently turned 50, and although it sounds selfish, it all started when no one did a thing for me except a portion of my close family and my boss's wife. No cards from friends, only a card from my husband. It became a realization the day afterward, and it's been a few weeks now. It's just gradually made me look at my life and question what I've done with my life, what people surround me, and my job....everything. I now cry almost every day. I always try to make the people in my life feel special in some way, I donate to things left and right, and try to fix relationships around me that seem to need a nudge..I've suffered depression since I was a teen and have been on an antidepressant for years. Tried going off it for a bit, but decided I truly do need it. I've no kids, had a rough child hood, lost some important people in my life...had surgeries, but most people think of me as independent, funny and attractive. As a late teen/early twenties I attempted suicide twice (and clearly failed at that) and decided to tough it out. I'm thinking of going back into therapy. (Haven't been for years, it didn't seem to get me anywhere). I'd never attempt suicide again, but I just spent 4 days in bed, forcing myself to finally get up and back to work, but just cry throughout the day. I feel alone and unappreciated. I feel like I've wasted my life and have no importance or value. I really need to talk to someone, my husband would just laugh and say it's all in my head and get upset about therapy as a waste of money.
janne

Fairfield, OH

#38 Apr 27, 2012
Earth Girl wrote:
i have depression that i have fought all my life...ive taken so many antidepressants and had many years of counseling...im a very strong woman but today i had a terribel crying spell, everything building up over one little tihing my husband did triggered years of unresolved issues with him, my son, my daughter, my brothers...goes on and on...i feel so used by everyone and wonder if any other women my age would care to exchange some solutions or just to chat about how you have dealt with life...i am a very spiritual person who has spent most my life doing for other and just feel used up and tired...the thought of going to couseling all over again after years of it wears me out...maybe just to talk with someone here would help...beside i dont have insurance ever if i did...thanks and hope to hear from someone..
Yes, I can relate. I'm age 52, work full-time, etc.
ladder rungs broke

United States

#39 Apr 29, 2012
maybe wrote:
bla bla bla, I have it all yet just living feels like a chore to me. Some day's I'd just as soon be dead. What's the point?
I just finally started climbing out of a depression. One where I felt the same way. Turned 50 and everyone else has all these folks throwing them parties... I got a card. Yay me. I must have been an awful person to have so many around who could give a crap. I can sleep for days and wonder what the he** I'm alive for some days. I seem to serve no purpose. Once I climb out of the hole, I can't believe how down and low I had felt (I write it down to remember). I have no kids, a crap job where no one respects me, I've lived a crap life....and there's some guy up there in the sky watching it all like some bad soap opera, and that will make me feel better? I think not. This past depression period lasted a month and a half of crying every day, feeling useless, not one person around me noticed. Not one person asked if I was ok. Now I'm back up and what does it really all matter? I'll smile to make you all feel better.
Judy

Kingston, Jamaica

#40 Jun 22, 2012
lisa wrote:
i just have it since my fifties.
Wow! This sounds justlike me. I am 52, married wish I wasn't love my children, unemployed, have spent my life doing for others and now feel useless, unworthy, unloved and really just waiting to die. Too scared to do it myself but hope it comes quickly. My children would be hurt but they're big, youngest 18 so they would be o.k. Xanax doesn't help anymore should start Wellbutrin shortly but have no hopes for a solution.

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