Friend's reaction to cancer news may ...

Friend's reaction to cancer news may hide worries

There are 76 comments on the Chicago Tribune story from Oct 30, 2007, titled Friend's reaction to cancer news may hide worries. In it, Chicago Tribune reports that:

Dear Amy: About a month ago, I was diagnosed with stage 2 prostate cancer. I accepted the diagnosis with equanimity, then decided that while I would pursue treatment, I would not make it a larger issue than it ...

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Michele

United States

#61 Oct 31, 2007
Mom of an imperfect child wrote:
<quoted text>
Discipline is teaching. Be careful what you are teaching. Give it great thought. I'm glad you think your father's methods worked. Each child is different and I believe you are playing with fire.
Oh, Boy. You are a condescending jerk who obviously thinks that their parenting skills are beyond anyone else's. Get a clue. Your kids are probably unbearable and rule the roost.
Michele

United States

#63 Oct 31, 2007
No More Screaming wrote:
If I am paying for an experience (a cooked meal, a movie, hair appointment), you should leave IMMEDIATELY if a temper tantrum sets in. And if your child can't behave on a plane for 4 hours, DRIVE.
Hear, Hear. These self-indulgent and selfish parents today are either too lazy or too narcissistic to do the right thing.
steph

Jasper, IN

#64 Oct 31, 2007
Michele wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh, Boy. You are a condescending jerk who obviously thinks that their parenting skills are beyond anyone else's. Get a clue. Your kids are probably unbearable and rule the roost.
LOL!!! I thought the exact same thing, including the word "condescending"...
steph

Jasper, IN

#65 Oct 31, 2007
just me wrote:
I think it's amazing that people are all up in arms, resenting the children who act like animals, and resenting the animals that are treated like children.
The problem isn't the children or the pets. The problem is the ADULTS who choose to allow, encourage, or otherwise fail to properly deal with inappropriate situations.
Whether it's a small child picking her nose and eating it, or a dog relieving himself on the sidewalk, the ADULT present should deal with it.
There are irresponsible people in all walks of life, just as there are responsible ones. Neither parents nor pet owners have the corner market for either group...
(BTW, I'm sitting here, writing this while listening to my neighbors dog howl and whine like he usually does, while their kids keep chasing each other up and down the street and through my yard. It's not the dog or the kids that's the problem - it's the ADULTS in the home...)
Oh - and while there are circumstances right now that means I don't have any pets currently, I grew up with lots of pets over the years, and I have 2 teenagers.
Praise Jesus, someone FINALLY understands the entire point.

As for "someone," I think he/she is right on the mark with everything he/she has said about removing the child from the situation if the tantrum keeps up. Obviously, I completely understand and appreciate the fact that babies cry. If a baby cries for thirty seconds, I don't get pissed. If the baby cries for half an hour while the parent sits there, seemingly tuning it out, that is unacceptable and rude. Just like babies cry, dogs bark...but when my dog is out in the yard barking incessantly, I bring her inside so she doesn't disrupt the entire neighborhood. And no, this is not saying that babies are the same as pets...it is simply saying that I am acting as a responsible adult who is in charge of another living thing, just as a parent of a baby should.

A four-year-old has the cognitive ability to understand being told, "That's enough."

Megan, I'm the same...would not have, in my wildest dreams, considered making a scene in public. I am completely flabbergasted by the way kids are permitted to act in public. And thank you for your comment that those of us criticizing parents who let their kids run wild in public are criticizing those and only those parents, not ALL parents. To think that we have been speaking of all parents is ignorant.
Mom of an imperfect child

Chicago, IL

#66 Nov 1, 2007
Michele wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh, Boy. You are a condescending jerk who obviously thinks that their parenting skills are beyond anyone else's. Get a clue. Your kids are probably unbearable and rule the roost.
Personally I don't think so. Just a mother of a child who has been abused by his father. He called it discipline too. The doctor called it broken bones. As I said, you may be playing with fire. Be careful what you're teaching. See, his father was hit too as a child.....

Condescening, experience, sometimes you can't tell the difference.
Mom of an imperfect child

Chicago, IL

#67 Nov 1, 2007
Ann wrote:
Jennifer : "And last time I checked it was more than possible to train a pet, much the same way we are expected to 'train' our kids."
"Possible"? Silly snide and definitely unaware.
My dogs have always behave BETTER in public than about 60% of kids and as well as the other 40%.
Over 45 years ago, my dog earned the highest AKC obedience degrees in in record time,set scores that I have never been broken - and he and I did that before I was 12 years old. He was also one of the very first dogs to do ursing home visits as therapy for the residents.
Yesterday my mobility assistance Service Dog whirled through a day of errands performing his tasks flawlessly and often anticipating what I needed him to do to help; and being his usual charming and happy self with the staff of the places we shop.(He is a great favorite of everyone out in public from the symphony to a restuarant to an airline.)
The words 'teach' and 'train' are interchangeable. My helper was 'taught' his job duties through a consistent process of 'training.' One sets the goal of behavior that is desired and then work toward achieving it by educating the dog as to what is expected in response to a hand signal or if he is in a store.
Teaching my partner to be polite and quiet in public began when he was 16 weeks old when he would go out and about with my now-retired Service Dog and me. That meant taking him places simply so he could be exposed to the environment, insisting that he behave and REMOVING him if he wasn't responding to my instructions because of excitment (and praising him if he did.) Learning to visit restuarants was too much stimulus for him at 5 months of age but he had learned enough about behavior to handle a restuarant for a short time to a quiet restuarant at 6 1/2 months. Can't say that a lot of parents have the same sense or ability to know that some places are not appropriate for their little darlings or that they shuldn't be in a place for longer than the kid can handle without becoming out of control.
"Training" is educating. "Teaching" is the process by which one 'trains'.
What, do you have the problem with the phrase "nurse's training?" Or "training" for this or that job?
YOu better bloody well 'train' your children to behave in public and society by 'teaching' them what they should or should not do. If you don't there were phrases used in my profession to describe such children at some point in their lives - we called them 'criminal law clients','defendants' and 'juvenile delinquents now in custody.'
You really need to chill out, Ann.
Long-time married

United States

#68 Nov 1, 2007
Michele wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh, Boy. You are a condescending jerk who obviously thinks that their parenting skills are beyond anyone else's. Get a clue. Your kids are probably unbearable and rule the roost.
You've called her a "jerk," and a "fool." If you think name-calling is okay, what kind of example are you setting for your three teenagers?

I raised a great son, and hitting was never acceptable. Neither was name-calling.

It's one thing to agree to disagree. It's quite another to revert to a junior high mentality.
Long-time married

United States

#69 Nov 1, 2007
Mom of an imperfect child wrote:
<quoted text>
Personally I don't think so. Just a mother of a child who has been abused by his father. He called it discipline too. The doctor called it broken bones. As I said, you may be playing with fire. Be careful what you're teaching. See, his father was hit too as a child.....
Condescening, experience, sometimes you can't tell the difference.
My father abused all of us, too. More than once, we were covered in bruises, while my mother stood by and did nothing.

Well, payback time is almost here. He'd better hope I never have to take care of him, because he can rot in a nursing home before I lift a finger to help him.

I hope you got away from that monster. Because that's what someone who abuses a kid is--a monster.
Dorothy

Pella, IA

#70 Nov 1, 2007
There is a BIG difference between disciplining a child and abusing a child. My father bordered on abuse, my children were disciplined.

It boils down to the fact that there is no one right way to raise children, everyone is different and should adopt their own methods of child rearing.
Michele

United States

#71 Nov 1, 2007
Mom of an imperfect child wrote:
<quoted text>
Personally I don't think so. Just a mother of a child who has been abused by his father. He called it discipline too. The doctor called it broken bones. As I said, you may be playing with fire. Be careful what you're teaching. See, his father was hit too as a child.....
Condescening, experience, sometimes you can't tell the difference.
Wow, I guess you have real issues if you think that disciplining your child is child abuse. You need to seek help and fast!
Michele

United States

#72 Nov 1, 2007
Long-time married wrote:
<quoted text>
You've called her a "jerk," and a "fool." If you think name-calling is okay, what kind of example are you setting for your three teenagers?
I raised a great son, and hitting was never acceptable. Neither was name-calling.
It's one thing to agree to disagree. It's quite another to revert to a junior high mentality.
I'm doing just fine thank you for your concern. By the way, the kids are normal teenagers. Sticks and stones......
For Angry

Arlington Heights, IL

#73 Nov 2, 2007
Does "Dear Amy" look at these things? From what I am reading some of you may want to write into her for some advice. People have different views of discipline. One person may think a spank on the bottom is the right way to discipline and the other may view that as abuse. Everyone has different life experiences. I was never hit as a child and will never hit mine. That is the way I was raised, if you are raised in an abusive home you don't want to raise a hand to your child in fear it will turn into more rage. I am sorry for anyone who was abused by a parent, it isn't right. Like I said discipline to one might be abuse to another. Just keep your children happy and healthy and love them
Mom of an imperfect child

Chicago, IL

#74 Nov 2, 2007
Michele wrote:
<quoted text>
Wow, I guess you have real issues if you think that disciplining your child is child abuse. You need to seek help and fast!
I don't believe I said disciplining is child abuse. Maybe I did. I feel pretty strong about it. But I think I alluded that broken bones from hitting a child is child abuse. I think I cautioned to be "careful". Perhaps the caution isn't needed, perhaps I'm just worried about people who hit their kids. Issues? Yes, I do have issues but not with disciplining. Oh, I know people who think giving their kid a black eye or bruising is "disciplining". I'm not saying that's what people here are speaking about. I know people who lock their kids out of their house as a form of discipline. Issues, yes -- I have issues and I wish I could change the world but I cannot. I wouldn't even know who needs changing b/c, Lord knows, no one is perfect including me.

Everyone has a different way of disciplining -- I just prefer not hitting children. I never understood what that taught except to hit. Time out to think about what you did, removal from the situation and company until you're fit for company and understand what you did wrong, privilege being revoked, etc. We all have our different methods and probably use a combination. It's okay if someone disagrees, it's a very debatable issue. I just try to remain faithful that everyone is doing their best.

Perhaps I just liked this discussion more than comparing animals vs. children and vice versa.

I do try to remember that no one can possibly put down all that they are trying to convey in a sentence or two and I'm running on too long now!!

Have a great weekend everyone! Enjoy your day. I've enjoyed the exchange and wish I had time for more -- even with the ones that disagree.
Hoping for the best

Elburn, IL

#75 Nov 3, 2007
Michele/mother of 3:

Aren't you the same person who wrote: "My dogs don't talk back, ask for money, smoke dope, lie, throw tantrums, do lousy in school, don't show up on time for curfew, etc." If you think you're kids are "normal teenagers," why would you write this? And aren't you the same person who said that you got so many complements on how well-behaved they were when they were young? The discipline and control you exerted over them when they were very young appears to have backfired.

Since: Nov 07

Miami, FL

#76 Nov 3, 2007
When Roberto was diagnosed, the panic almost sent him back to Santiago: http://www.laprp.com/article.php... Men often cope very badly with bad news. Many hide. Maybe this is why 45% of men left medical care when told of suspicious tests: http://www.laprp.com/question_answer.php...
Jefferson
#77 Sep 23, 2013
I have ordered 2 times from this website PILLSMEDSHOP. COM . I called yesterday the customer care and asked for a discount as i was about to order twice the regular amount.

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