i have bp and i feel like my husband ...

i have bp and i feel like my husband hates me

Posted in the Bipolar Disorder Forum

willow

Lansing, MI

#1 Feb 1, 2010
i have let my husband down, i am a faithful wife i have never cheated on my husband, he is my best friend, we were friends first. the problem he has is that i am not able to get organized, my home is clean somedays and other days i cannot even function we have been married for 8 years I have four children, i am on disability because i cannot keep a job, i make many mistakes i wonder if anyone can help me get organized, i love my family, i do not want to be this way, but i am so lost i keep trying to improve myself but i also keep failing just to go at it and fail again, i am willing to do just about anything to make this marriage work.
dancanada

Calgary, Canada

#2 Feb 2, 2010
willow... first you haven't let anybody down. this illness controls us, and without help (whether, support from family, friends, doctors, medication) we can't always be at the level people expect of us. you really need to focus on you and your health, and that will strengthen your family and your marriage. just remember to be open with your husband, something my ex-wife (of 15 yrs, starting when I was 18) and I failed to do, but we both own that. I really think we could have done better, had I been more open with my feelings (no matter how scary) sooner than later... I wish the best for you, and truly believe that we need to make sure we have a strong support system to make it through this illness... dan
willow wrote:
i have let my husband down, i am a faithful wife i have never cheated on my husband, he is my best friend, we were friends first. the problem he has is that i am not able to get organized, my home is clean somedays and other days i cannot even function we have been married for 8 years I have four children, i am on disability because i cannot keep a job, i make many mistakes i wonder if anyone can help me get organized, i love my family, i do not want to be this way, but i am so lost i keep trying to improve myself but i also keep failing just to go at it and fail again, i am willing to do just about anything to make this marriage work.
willow

Lansing, MI

#3 Feb 2, 2010
dancanada wrote:
willow... first you haven't let anybody down. this illness controls us, and without help (whether, support from family, friends, doctors, medication) we can't always be at the level people expect of us. you really need to focus on you and your health, and that will strengthen your family and your marriage. just remember to be open with your husband, something my ex-wife (of 15 yrs, starting when I was 18) and I failed to do, but we both own that. I really think we could have done better, had I been more open with my feelings (no matter how scary) sooner than later... I wish the best for you, and truly believe that we need to make sure we have a strong support system to make it through this illness... dan
<quoted text>
Thank you for your reply it means a lot to hear from people who truly know what it is like and i appreciate your encouragement
wondering

Harrison, AR

#4 Mar 29, 2010
Willow, I know just how you feel. I tried to commit suicide and had to spent a wk. in a mental hospital, that is when I was diagnosised with bi-polar disorder, post tramautic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder. and severe anxiety disorder.

I remember on the way home from the hospital that he looked at me and said,"We donn't have to tell anybody about this, do we?" I knew right then that he was ashamed of me and something inside of me died.

Since then our marriage has never been the same. That was five yrs. ago, I used to work but became disabled when I was diagnosised with all these problems. I am no longer the out going person I use to be, I donn't go anywhere with him because I feel like he is ashamed of me and we seldon spend anytime togather. I have accepted that I will spent the rest of my life this way, I am forty-nine and attractive, but I have no desire or confidence to try to start again. I donn't expect anything to ever change between us, I have accept things the way they are.
Willow

Lansing, MI

#5 Apr 14, 2010
Wow, I thought it would be helpful to hear other people with the same types of problems, but i feel so bad that you are going through this. It has been awhile since i last posted this, and i think for the time being i am in a positive state. I have a wonderful Dr. and i was keeping a lot of things hidden from her but once i told her she made me feel a lot better, ive been on treatment for Bipolar for 10 years now, but i have also gone thru 5 doctors. I do not know what kind of treatment you have but i feel like it takes a lot to get it right. You are still the same person that your husband fell in love with! You are not your disorder it is a medical condition. Just hang in there, Keep trying, My marriage is far from perfect now but i found a lot of our issues are more his than mine. Hope this helps a little.
jessica

Portsmouth, RI

#6 Jun 13, 2011
I completely understand what you are going through. my huband and i have been together for a total of 9 years and married 2, all of a sudden i feel like he cant stand me or my family. he is a wonderful person and a very hard worker but the past year has been hard. i have been to a daily help program,(counceling), i have been seeing an outpatient psychiarist, counciler, and i am now going through ect treatments at the hospital 3 times a week, now im down to once, but i feel like its not helping its only getting worse. i know all couples have there differences but i feel like im the only one working at it. how much more should i go through? i love him so much.
Nikitta

Brampton, Canada

#7 Dec 8, 2011
38Practice giving, and people will give to YOU. They will pour into YOUR laps a fine measure, pressed down, shaken together and overflowing. For with the measure that YOU are measuring out, they will measure out to YOU in return.
(Luke 6:38) Simply put, if you want to be loved, show love.
MsDogClaw

Ramona, CA

#8 Dec 23, 2011
Nikitta wrote:
38Practice giving, and people will give to YOU. They will pour into YOUR laps a fine measure, pressed down, shaken together and overflowing. For with the measure that YOU are measuring out, they will measure out to YOU in return.”
(Luke 6:38) Simply put, if you want to be loved, show love.
That makes no sense at all.
tim

Waterloo, Canada

#9 Mar 3, 2012
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Since: Nov 12

Mumbai, India

#11 Nov 22, 2012
don't be so negative you are not sure that your think is right.and this is not a very big problem.please take care.
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Juan

Medina, OH

#16 Jan 9, 2014
Stop it. It does not control you. You allow yourself to be controlled. You clearly identify with yourself as a BP and that is a problem. You are NOT BP and you are also not a victim. Keep living your life telling yourself that you are not responsible for your actions and you let EVERYONE down. YOURSELF MOST OF ALL...

BP people were victims of poor parenting as a child but most are. Sitting around in adulthood and claiming inability to deal with the reality of life is just sad and gross.

Grow a spine and stop being such s little baby.

You are an adult. Act like it.
dancanada wrote:
willow... first you haven't let anybody down. this illness controls us, and without help (whether, support from family, friends, doctors, medication) we can't always be at the level people expect of us. you really need to focus on you and your health, and that will strengthen your family and your marriage. just remember to be open with your husband, something my ex-wife (of 15 yrs, starting when I was 18) and I failed to do, but we both own that. I really think we could have done better, had I been more open with my feelings (no matter how scary) sooner than later... I wish the best for you, and truly believe that we need to make sure we have a strong support system to make it through this illness... dan
<quoted text>
Juan

Medina, OH

#17 Jan 9, 2014
Disability for being unwilling to take responsibility for your own behavior? Wow, you have let YOURSELF DOWN...
willow wrote:
i have let my husband down, i am a faithful wife i have never cheated on my husband, he is my best friend, we were friends first. the problem he has is that i am not able to get organized, my home is clean somedays and other days i cannot even function we have been married for 8 years I have four children, i am on disability because i cannot keep a job, i make many mistakes i wonder if anyone can help me get organized, i love my family, i do not want to be this way, but i am so lost i keep trying to improve myself but i also keep failing just to go at it and fail again, i am willing to do just about anything to make this marriage work.
toulon

Roseau, Dominica

#18 Jan 14, 2014
I lost my family because of this,but i understand how u feel

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#20 Apr 5, 2014
To Willow..first of all.. I did a Google search for "my husband hates me because I'm bipolar." And that's how I stumbled upon this message board. Thank u for being brave enuf to share what u did!!!... Which btw all the ignorant haters and judgemental pricks on here should live a month I our shoes. Who the fuck are you & where is your place on this forum? What good are u doing anyone Juan???? The statements you wrote are exactly what I believe my husband thinks about me! Fucking ironic that you post the words I fear the most. Willow.. I'm struggling in the same ways u wrote. Disappointing mg husbsnd, he's organized I'm not. I've let him down. I want to know if and how you got out of it since I know my post is way after the date you posted! Pls give an update ? I need help!
anonymous

United States

#36 May 31, 2016
I have bipolar disorder and it has to be the worst,most devastating illness on the planet! I don't hesitate to say I have put my family through agony because of this illness.My husband has stayed with me 40 years but now he is ill and has come to the end of his rope.He really has come to hate and despise me now.I have ruined us financially with manic spending sprees and he is very resentful of me.I don't blame him one bit but I try to fix it and I'm not fixable.I have so much guilt and self hatred.I ha ve been hospitalized many times off and on meds with horrible side affects.I have alienated family and friends and burned many bridges.My children love me but are shell shocked and tired of this rollercoaster ride.I'm 62 Now and pretty socially isolated.I am better with less people to hurt or disappoint.It is what it is and i wouldn't wish this illness on any human being.That's how awful it is.......
hunterjuly

Michigan City, IN

#37 May 31, 2016
Juan wrote:
Stop it. It does not control you. You allow yourself to be controlled. You clearly identify with yourself as a BP and that is a problem. You are NOT BP and you are also not a victim. Keep living your life telling yourself that you are not responsible for your actions and you let EVERYONE down. YOURSELF MOST OF ALL...

BP people were victims of poor parenting as a child but most are. Sitting around in adulthood and claiming inability to deal with the reality of life is just sad and gross.

Grow a spine and stop being such s little baby.

You are an adult. Act like it.

<quoted text>
You are right, Juan. It's all lies. It's all in their heads

The Psychiatry Sandcastle Continues to Crumble http://www.madinamerica.com/2016/04/the-psych...
hunterjuly

Michigan City, IN

#38 May 31, 2016
willow wrote:
i have let my husband down, i am a faithful wife i have never cheated on my husband, he is my best friend, we were friends first. the problem he has is that i am not able to get organized, my home is clean somedays and other days i cannot even function we have been married for 8 years I have four children, i am on disability because i cannot keep a job, i make many mistakes i wonder if anyone can help me get organized, i love my family, i do not want to be this way, but i am so lost i keep trying to improve myself but i also keep failing just to go at it and fail again, i am willing to do just about anything to make this marriage work.
The date on this stupid, crazy post is February 2010. I'm sure she's over it by now. It's been 6 years!! Got anything new to repost? This is all old stuff that nobody cares about anymore. Dummies.
hunterjuly

Michigan City, IN

#40 May 31, 2016
anonymous wrote:
I have bipolar disorder and it has to be the worst,most devastating illness on the planet! I don't hesitate to say I have put my family through agony because of this illness.My husband has stayed with me 40 years but now he is ill and has come to the end of his rope.He really has come to hate and despise me now.I have ruined us financially with manic spending sprees and he is very resentful of me.I don't blame him one bit but I try to fix it and I'm not fixable.I have so much guilt and self hatred.I ha ve been hospitalized many times off and on meds with horrible side affects.I have alienated family and friends and burned many bridges.My children love me but are shell shocked and tired of this rollercoaster ride.I'm 62 Now and pretty socially isolated.I am better with less people to hurt or disappoint.It is what it is and i wouldn't wish this illness on any human being.That's how awful it is.......
What a bunch of bullshit. Who made this story up? You can tell how fake this is.
Stop logging out and logging back in with different names and your pathetic little made up stories.
hunterjuly

Michigan City, IN

#41 Jun 8, 2016
willow wrote:
i have let my husband down, i am a faithful wife i have never cheated on my husband, he is my best friend, we were friends first. the problem he has is that i am not able to get organized, my home is clean somedays and other days i cannot even function we have been married for 8 years I have four children, i am on disability because i cannot keep a job, i make many mistakes i wonder if anyone can help me get organized, i love my family, i do not want to be this way, but i am so lost i keep trying to improve myself but i also keep failing just to go at it and fail again, i am willing to do just about anything to make this marriage work.
http://www.madinamerica.com/2016/06/what-woul...

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