bipolar disorder is causing my divorce
husband_of_Bipol ar_Bitchh

Bangladesh

#330 Jun 30, 2011
6 years of marriage ended.My ex wife(bipolar-1) was involved with extra-marital affair with more than one guy.

What I learned(advice 2 all) from my nasty bipolar divorce:

- Bipolar Disorder is a 100% genetic disease, it runs in family. My 2 sister-in-laws had Bipolar & Schizophrenia
- before marrying someone,slow down,investigate very carefully , any of her/his close blood relative has any serious mental illness.
-bipolar ppl are drama queen, very charming, manipulative, pathological liar & great cheater.Bipolar bitchees will ruin your good credit history, destroy you financially.

** If you have a BP partner/spouse, ONE advice for you --- RUN AWAY & NEVER LOOK BACK.

Good luck to all spouses of Bipolar patient.
karen

Milo, ME

#331 Jul 1, 2011
Let's see, drama queen, check; very charming, check; manipulative, check; pathological liar, check; great cheater, check and I am running as fast as I can and yes, it does run in his family.

Since: Dec 10

Burpengary, Australia

#332 Jul 4, 2011
HUSBAND & KAREN

ALL OF THE ABOVE
and throw in NARCISSISTIC as well cause usually
they are co-morbid with Bipolar
the thing is narcissistic personality disorder
is incurable as well , symptoms run parallel to bipolar BUT and its a big one
Narc's actually ENJOY hurting you ...they absolutely cannot STOP ever ..they are the MOST hurtful people because they entertain themselves by hurting you... cheating on you, to gain more Narc supply... as back up for when they burn you and you become boring , or for when you become a wake up to their manipulations . Google Malignant Narcissitic Disorder and READ what you have been going through on your Hell ride ..
xxxxxx_xxx

Bangladesh

#333 Jul 14, 2011
why not just make a law to Put all BP bastardss to Jail for life !!!
Confused and Scared

Temple, TX

#334 Jul 30, 2011
I guess I could start by saying his mom was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. It seems to run in the family. He has recently said he feels he is a sociopath. He has mood swings all the time. He lays on the couch in front of his computer screen all day unless he is in class. He has told me dreams in which my oldest daughter is a demon child. None of the children are his and we have none together. We have been together for almost 7 years and married for 5. The beginning of this year he told me of a dream he had of me cheating on him (which he constantly does) and that the fight ended up in the back yard where I turned into a blood soaked sponge. He hacks into my emails and has deleted things out of there. He tried to alienate me from friends and family. I have recently made plans to leave him and he has been trying to be sweet to me. I know that he only does it to make me stay and will not last. He pushes the kids sometimes to the point of crying and not long ago grabbed my older daughters arm and left bruises. I don't want to hurt him because he has no one who will be there for him or help him. But, I can not stay for fear of him doing something worse than what he already has. Just the other day he asked me if I heard the voices talking before bed. I asked if it was outside and he said no and pointed to his head and said in here. I am fearful for my son as well because he has accused him of not being loyal to us and instead to his real father that he has visitation with. I could go on and on with stories but I need to end here, he is coming.
karen

Bangor, ME

#335 Aug 1, 2011
I really fear for you!! I know you must not be able to see the real danger in this because you are in an abusive state and cannot see things clearly but I hope this message will come through to you that you must leave now! Something terrible may not happen but the chances are very good that it could, i.e. "blood soaked sponge". Please think of your children and not your husband that you do not want to hurt because he has no one. If you want to help him, leaving is the best thing.Reading your post was very frightening. Your children are living in horror and there should be nothing to stand in your way of leaving, financial or otherwise. If you don't have anywhere to go, there are shelters. There are stories all the time about about a schizophrenic killing and it seems that he is fantasizing about this. Please write and let me know how you are doing. If you need that constant reminder that you must do something, I will write every day. Please post again.
Confused and Scared

Killeen, TX

#336 Aug 1, 2011
I left him today! I am staying with my parents until I can make other arrangements. When I told him he was more concerned of how he was going to make it. How I was going to financially keep him afloat. Then he laid the guilt trip about the kids and tearing them away from him. Then he flip flopped back to the financial aspect of it. He then proceeded to pack the kids stuff and tell me that I needed to go because staying only tortured him. After I packed some things he then took me to my moms and he left to stay with his sister. That is where he is now, staying with her because he said staying at the house is too lonely. I am done though, I got out and will only go back for mine and the kids things. But not alone, I will take someone with me. The kids are understandably broken up over this but I know in time they will heal just as I will. Thank you for writing back.
karen

Bangor, ME

#337 Aug 2, 2011
So glad to hear that you took the huge step of leaving. As you get further and further away from the situation it will be hard to remember the bad parts and be tempted to return so just know that and seek some kind of therapy to get you through the emotional times ahead. Just do whatever it takes to keep you and your children safe. Someone said to me once, "it's time to be quiet and still now". Please keep me posted and don't let your guard down, ever!
why me

United States

#338 Aug 3, 2011
I was wondering if anyone is going through what I am going through after your divorce. My wife is bipolar and she filed for the divorce to avoid being diagnosed. Now that we are divorced, she wants us to get back together. We have three months to change our mind before it stays official. She has become miss goody two shoes and even has been trying to have sex with me. I have been keeping just far enough apart. The only reason I haven't just forgot about her is because we have a daughter together. I was wondering if this is common or is reality finally catching up with her .

“and how does this effect you?”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#339 Aug 4, 2011
Anna77 wrote:
I'm so glad to be able to help. Each of your partners is lucky to have a caring and supportive person at their side and I'm sure they know it.

I was one of the lucky ones that saw what I'd lose, found a doctor I could trust that encourages me to keep with treatment, and I do take my meds every day without fail.(I keep spare doses in my purse in case I forget before I leave.) For me, all of that is necessary or I don't think any of it would work, because like I said before, even still, sometimes I have crazy thoughts again and reminders of old compulsions. But the meds help me to have enough sanity in those moments to step back and realize I need to think about what I stand to lose and give my doc a call.

I don't know why this happens. I can remember a time in my life when it didn't for me and that's the hardest part about it, personally. These things just... started. They're few and far between now, but I'm just going to take that to mean that what I'm doing is working and not that I'm ready to stop or that I'm cured.:)

Louise, be careful, you didn't say anything about what your husband tends to do when he's away, but if it's spending money, you might talk with your bank manager about moving most of the money to a separate account so that he can still get money for food and gas but not drain all of your funds gambling or such... also, be careful that he isn't bringing home any STD's that could hurt you if cheating has been a problem. Also keep in mind that seeing daddy leave indefinitely really hurts kids too. They worry very much, for dad and for mom when stuff like that happens, and those concerns shouldn't ever cross their minds.

Lots of love to all of you because you really deserve it. Janet, LivingtheDownlow, and Louise, always take care of your children and yourselves first. I can't answer on behalf of everyone who has BP but if you have any questions, I'm an open book as far as my experiences have gone if it will help anyone else.
You did fine as far as I'm concerned. I am a BP patient too!

“and how does this effect you?”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#340 Aug 4, 2011
Andrew in NY wrote:
Hi, my name is Andrew and I'm bipolar...

Ok, with that out of the way, I first have to respond to this quote: "Also keep in mind that seeing daddy leave indefinitely really hurts kids too." One of the issues I have with this philosophy is that too many people think that this is best for the children. For some reason, there seems to be both a sense of failure when a partner leaves another for good cause, as well as a misguided sense of responsibility or noble obligation for the relationship.

I do feel that when a person makes a life long commitment with another, it is a choice based on reasonable assumption of commitment to each other to work through the trials and tribulations that life has to offer. Blatant deceit and actions that contradict the fundamentals of the partnership are important factors to consider when deciding on the best interests of self and children. It is essential that when considering the best interests of the children that the whole picture be carefully examined.

Imagine that you are meeting your husband for the first time. Is this a person that you would allow into your inner circle, into your family? Would he be someone you would want your daughters to view as a healthy roll model, a person from which they could base their formative years as an example of how to act and treat others?

Your very first obligation is to your children. Everything else went out the window when they were conceived. Feel free to show your husband and their father compassion, but do it at a healthy distance. Be the example to your children that you can love someone and help them, and to do that sometimes you have to create some boundaries.

Personally, I feel that anyone who is in a situation where they are taken advantage of, lied to, mistreated... must have the courage to say no- I will not accept this behavior and will do what I need to to protect myself and my children. Teaching your children that they must accept this is not a good plan. Showing them how to be strong and providing them the tools they need to be healthy and happy are the greatest gifts you can give them.

At this point, it sounds like he is a biological father, and not an actual father. A true father would not do this to his wife or family. Regardless of his disorder, there comes a point where he needs to take responsibility for his actions. Unless he is completely devoid of any rational thought, he is very much capable of taking whatever steps are necessary to change his behavior. Allowing this to continue only enables him to continue on this destructive path, and perpetuates an environment where you are unhappy, and the children are learning that this is something which can be tolerated.
Agreed! Staying together for the kids isn't fair to the kids. You should do what's best for the kids!
Jorginho

Middelburg, Netherlands

#341 Aug 9, 2011
Well after 7 years my 36 year old grilfriend went manic and I am in that very same, awfull boat like many over here right now. She is an adorbale woman but was diagnosed with: dysthymia, borderline personality disorder, OCD. She has not been diagnosed with Mania mind you, but the signes are telltaling. Oke: we went to Denmark (I live in the Netherlands so it is really close to us so we just went by car). In Denmark we talked about what she does throughout the week, as we are LAT after 4 years of living together. The LAT relation is great.
She confessed that she smoked cannabis. She lied at first and than admitted to do it everyday, 3 times a day. Cannabis itself raises the chance for bipolar 5 times....She uses a lot of drugs, like Clomipramine, Traloan, Tramadol, seroquel. Things went fuine, but she can't work despite of more than average IQ. She has no problem taking meds, I have persuaded her time and time again but now she feels much better.
So before going to Denmark she already made an appointment to get into a clinic to kick the habitat. In may she had to go and got a huge panic attack. She stilll went, but smoked one just before intake. That was not allowed and she immediately went into a crisis and got hospitalised. Then all things went manic: having huge delussions (buying an appartment with minumum wages, giving money to her fellow borderlines complaining about financial difficulties etc) She has a diary and it went of the mark. From a few sentences a day pages were covered, in all directions with thoughts. Also that she was feeling unstable. So there was consience there
Fled hospital went back, was found along the highway disturbed and confused by the police. Was set free from the mental instutution next day 9!!) Because they felt she was too difficult (??). Came back home, wanted to sue the insitution, wanted puppy, wanted to go abroad. Now I and her family are quite knowledgable about psychiatric ilnesses because we work in the field (as psychiatrists, some). So I already thought she was manic and with the familly it was discussed, but she also had psychotic thoughts. I did not like Clomiramine and Trazodone at all in her regime (Clomi for OCD, okey, understood).
And so she went without a trace in june and now she has done it a second time. Second time after she asked me to pay her rent which I refused, unless I was given custody over here baknaccount. She already got 300 euro for taxes and now is slowly building up a debt. She went to Paris, had to sell her phone to get a roof. Met a guy went with him to Millau. They are friends she says. Wants to quit with me (as a revenge for not paying her rent) and has no money at all....

This is a tragic situation and she nly needs one thing in my mind: lithium. But she has now got new meds in France and no lithium. So there we go. She is adorable, lovely but has changed her name and is indeed quite a different person....I am not in despair anymore but three weeks without a trace has left a big mark on us. It was our "lesson" she told me yesterday.

So indeed: if you know someone is BP and you are not heavily involved yet get out! Chances are you'll get hurt a lot. BTW: via internet her freinds told me about previous episodes in 1997 and 2001. Not a single time lithium was given, moreover: Zoloft was. SSRI and bipolar by themselves are not a good combination.....

“and how does this effect you?”

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#342 Aug 9, 2011
husband_of_Bipolar_Bitchh wrote:
6 years of marriage ended.My ex wife(bipolar-1) was involved with extra-marital affair with more than one guy.

What I learned(advice 2 all) from my nasty bipolar divorce:

- Bipolar Disorder is a 100% genetic disease, it runs in family. My 2 sister-in-laws had Bipolar & Schizophrenia
- before marrying someone,slow down,investigate very carefully , any of her/his close blood relative has any serious mental illness.
-bipolar ppl are drama queen, very charming, manipulative, pathological liar & great cheater.Bipolar bitchees will ruin your good credit history, destroy you financially.

** If you have a BP partner/spouse, ONE advice for you --- RUN AWAY & NEVER LOOK BACK.

Good luck to all spouses of Bipolar patient.
Well, I will agree with the drama queen statement. I always say I am to lazy to lie. It's too much work! You have to remember what your story is. I also have a decent credit score. I did have some financial problems from 8 to 15 years ago, but it was because my husband was almost killed when he was working in road construction 15 years ago. We finally had to file bankruptcy 8 years ago the medical bills were too much to handle. I have a degree in finance and we have been able to recover from bankruptcy and even buy us a new home. People that cheat on their spouse and blame bipolar disorder make me sick! Bipolar disorder doesn't make you do anything you don't want to do. I have NEVER cheated on my husband, or any boyfriend I had before I got married. I have bipolar disorder by the b*lls and will not let it destroy me! Please don't group me and people like me with people that would have most likely done what they did anyway. They are just not owning up to their idiocy.
Amy

Moncks Corner, SC

#343 Aug 10, 2011
I feel like i am living a nightmare. I have been with my husband for 5 years. Every since we were married he would have episodes of explosive behavior and then threaten to leave me. He told me that he has battled depression all of his life. His behavior does not mimic depression in any manner. They would happen about every three to six months. He would return and then apologize and state that he needed help. He went on medication about a year ago after only telling the doctor he had depression. He reported to me that about three months ago the meds. stopped working. He has now been missing for over a week after leaving the house to go run a errand. I reported him as a missing person, as i feared for his safety. He has emptied the bank accounts and lost his job. Law Enforcement contacted me finally after about a week. He reported to them that he was on vacation and he had to escape due to me abusing and battering him. The officer believed him and told me that this happens every day. I am at a lost for words, my heart is broken and I can not even imagine why he would do something like this. When he is not having a episode he is a loving and kind husband. He has never been properly diagnosed with anything, but all of his behavior mimics bipolar.
If anyone could give me some advise on what to do or how to get him help. I would be very grateful. We still have not located him due to he stated to law enforcement he did not want his family to know his location. I don't know if i can forgive this, as we do not have children together but my children think of him as their father, and they are devastated as I am. BROKEN
paul

AOL

#344 Aug 10, 2011
Hi Amy,

I am not a therapst. However I did live a nightmare with a bipolar woman. Right now you are in a state of shock based on his bizarre behavior. If he is not willing to get help immediately there isnt much you can do short of eating your heart out and walking on eggshells. Bipolar/bpd is a terrible disease that without proper medical intervention has no chance of repair. If I can help you in any way you can email me direct at [email protected] I tried for 12 years to help a bipolar woman. She is now with a married man! If you deal with reality and not his moments of clarity,you will do the right thing.
DivorcedBy_Bipol ar_ExWife

Bangladesh

#345 Aug 17, 2011
To all partners of Bipolar Psychos:

I have 3 advice for YOU,if you really want to survive in long run:

(1) Walk away
(2) Run away
(3) Never look back

I learnt these lessons in a hard way
Frank

Alton, IL

#347 Sep 2, 2011
As the adult daughter of a bipolar mother let me tell you TO GET OUT NOW. Living through a bi polar parent as a child was a HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE. Thankfully I have moved on and decided to not have any contact with my bi polar parent. Cancer is a disease, bi polar is just nasty. YES LEAVE THEM. There is NOTHING you can do, they are HORRIBLE manipulative narcissistic evil people who ONLY EVER THING ABOUT THEMSELVES. Your feelings, value, consideration WILL NEVER matter to the bipolar person. Being bipolar is an excuse to act like a jerk and not take responsibility for your own actions and blame the disease. GET OUT NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! And PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT let your children live through the BIPOLAR nightmare!!! It's such a painful experience! And I know you love them more then that!!!!!!!!!! ALL CHILDREN DESERVE BETTER THEN A BIPOLAR PARENT!!!!!!!!!!
paul

AOL

#348 Sep 2, 2011
Hi Frank, I just hope you are taking good care of yourself. This disease is no refection on you. Live a good and full life. You made some tough decisions...bipolar is so painful.my ex wifr nearly destroyed me until I got a hold of my emotions. Now I have never been happier. I wish you the same happiness...
syl

Miami, FL

#349 Nov 15, 2011
i received my diagnosis oct. 2010. i attempted suicide sept 27 2009, eighteen days after my wedding. i was not told i had a diagnosis. since oct 2010 i have understood that if i do not take my medicine i will not be ok. today, my husband has demanded a divorce. i had him leave the house for the night. he is angry, both of us have been abusive toward each other. today he choked me until i passed out. in prior altercations i dislocated his shoulder. when the rage comes on i transform into this being that must be subdued by force and A LOT of meds. i am heartbroken. i must not should i must retire at age 45. i cannot have a manic episode while on duty. too many lives hang in the balance. i'm scared. i have to find a place to live since my condo went bye bye when i got married. i was the straight a student, the envied one because learning was no challenge. bipolar is the biggest challenge i have ever experienced. i take my medicines and i'm still plagued by the anger==for no good reason. talk to me. and not the mushy gushy stuff!5601
Fortville Resident

Warsaw, IN

#350 Nov 16, 2011
syl wrote:
i received my diagnosis oct. 2010.
No one is what they seem to be to others. Everyone has secrets and silent worries. Many things define you. In order for you to lead a positive, productive, happy life, you must care for yourself first. Medicine is in integral therapy, but you must involve others forms. Having to retire at an early age, means that you can volunteer at organizations that will allow you to satisfy many of your needs and make use of your talents. Keep busy, take time to enjoy art and music. During the past 20 years I have seen bi-polar change from the unmentionable elephant in the room to a topic for open discussion.
Compassion and knowledge are the keys for those who have a relationship with someone who is bi-polar. Bi-polar or not everyone has the right to be happy. As you are not responsible for another's happiness, another is not responsible for yours.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Bipolar Disorder Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Bottom line: Yes or No to a Bipolar Relationship? (Dec '15) 5 hr NutzToYou 30
Does a Bipolar person REALLY love someone else?... (Feb '15) Jul 21 Pops 120
Bipolar and lack of caring for others…... (Feb '15) Jul 21 Pops 31
Bipolar Friendship causes tremendous hurt (Dec '13) Jul 20 secret 19
Stop trusting drug ads on TV, including antidep... Jun 24 hunterjuly 1
My bipolar friend Jun 23 hunterjuly 4
I know he is a narcissist...but why do this? Jun 23 hunterjuly 2
More from around the web