bipolar disorder is causing my divorce

[Visitor]

I just read Jon's post from 2007 and thought the same thing. I definitely empathized with him. I wonder how he is 2 yrs later.

Dia wrote:

<quoted text>
I wonder how your are feelng now?

[justme]

Jill
Havent heard from you in awhile. How are you?

[dave]

OMG i look through these blogs and think of all the terrible scenarios that could have come about.
My wife had just been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, she hd a manic epidose with all the difficulties and then got sectioned. My son tried to commit suicide three times in one day i stopped him twice once the branch broke. I cant believe after it all. It just looks like everything is really f...ed. Is there anyone with a story which suggests that it might work out.

[Jil]

Just me
I am terrible at the moment. He was jailed last week took all his meds and drank a bottle of whickey and went totally manic. My nerves are totally shot at the moment. Still blaming everyone still even in prison. write back if u get this or email me i can tell u in greater detail.

[Jason]

I am 34 and been married 12 years (together 16) and no children. We met as freshman in college. I was diagnosed with depression at 28 and put on antidepressants; not a good combination I know. At 32 I was told I was BP II and put on mood stabilizers in addition to the antidepressants. I have always taken my meds and even was relieved to be diagnosed BP since it explained so much. I have worked for the same company for 11 years although have had conflicts with co-workers and periodic poor performance.

I have seen numerous therapists, psychologists and marriage counselor over the years. I have been hospitalized once after signs of hurting myself. The main reasons I agreed to go into the hospital was mainly because I didn't want to go home to my wife. This bring me to my concern.

I am certain my wife is co-dependent. She is a nurse practitioner and knows more about BP than some of my past therapists. She has read books, blogs, research studies about BP and mental health. She has attended local DBSA groups and even spent a brief time working in the state mental hospital.

I owe a lot to my wife. She has stuck by me even before we knew what BP was. We have grown and learned from each other. We are better people from having known eachother. I will always love her and don't think our 16 years together has been a waste. We have gone through a lot and have done a lot to work on our marriage. For reasons that I rather not get into and to get to the point I have not been happy with our marriage for a long time, although admittedly these feelings come and go. I have contemplated and talked about divorce several times over the years. ultimately I felt we could "make it work" and so we have stuck it out. I know I will never be BP free but I believe this relationship has run it's course. I feel we have grown apart. I feel I could be happier with someone else. I am no longer mentally invested in this relationship.

Lately I have been thinking about divorce even more. I have talked about this to my wife, our therapist, my therapist, my group, my family and my friends. The desire for divorce seems to be a common desire for BP individual and looms over many relationships. I have read 90% of BP marriages end in divorce. While that number may not be accurate I know the odds are stacked against us. When I bring up divorce with her she insists it's "my BP" talking. A trial separation or divorce is a huge decision.

Like many BP people how do I discern my true feels. How can I determine if it is my depression, anxiety, guilt or hopelessness talking. In the end I know I will not be able to truly separate my mental illness but I need something more to at least know I am making a sane conscience and honest decision.

Any advise will be appreciated.