Bipolar boyfriend help well ex boyfri...

Bipolar boyfriend help well ex boyfriend now ..please!

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Nightmarexx

Mastic, NY

#1 May 1, 2010
Well I really should say ex boyfriend because according to him "we've been broken up."
We have been on and off for almost a year and a half. I guess i always knew he was different. He doesn't have many friends. He doesn't go out he doesn't hang out with anyone. I would always have to beg him to hang out with me. Pretty pathetic huh? He would always be like I wanna see you I wanna call you but when it came the time to actually do it he would always find a way to get out of it and to avoid arguments I eventually stopped asking. Now when I say we've been on and off I really mean on and off! He will ignore me yet be online and read my messages and everything. I didn't know what was going on at the time so I would just be annoying and message him and IM and text him constantly. Which is probably the wrong thing to do. One time I went too far I totally lost it i flipped out called him every name in the book and said some really mean things. He went missing for a week...I was devastated I cried everyday. He finally called me at the end of the week and told me he was in a physc ward..but wouldn't tell me what happened. I eventually found out that he had cut himself. The longest one of this silent treatment episodes has lasted was 3 weeks. 3 week i didn't contact him he did not try to contact me. Eventually he texted me telling me he missed me and ofcourse everything went back to normal whatever normal is!. So about a month ago that happened he came back. Everything was great! He told me he was falling in love with me all over and again and he needed me and he would never leave. He cannot go to school anymore so he is in partial hospitalization or whatever I guess so he goes there for the day and comes home at night. Since this partial thing started this week he became very distant...ignoring me. Saying we will talk more and then I text him and he will not answer. I deal with depression also I am on an antidepressant and this situation does not make it any better not to mention I am a high school student. He has never admitted to me that he is bipolar but I really think he is. I don't know what to do. Do I leave him alone until he comes back? Do I just give up on him? He's a great person when he isnt ignoring me. I love him so much I just want to help him. I don't know what to do with myself. He says I make him so happy but I obviously am not enough if he gets like this..
Julie XOXO

Houston, TX

#2 May 11, 2010
It is difficult for them to allow anyone in their heart. Letting people inside means 1. they will have to change or deal with certain things they enjoy doing but are possibly wrong to not appear "crazy" and 2. they realize how much it affirms their disease when another person runs like hell abandoning them. Its a huge step and please understand if he really is bipolar you will most likely be in the role of caretaker and not a supported wife/girlfriend.
ironconstitution 247

Alexandria, VA

#3 Jun 22, 2010
i am going through the same thing. my bf just went through an episode after i tried to talk things out and be there for him. bless your heart just be strong and hang in there. its so painful but if you are both truly in love the pain and waits and worry will pay off. i can tell you the past 4 months have been the hardest in my life, watching the one i love hurt like this. its not easy its deff not. its harder for them as well as the victim(i hate to say "victim" but thats technically true) of this condition. one thing though- they will call themselves under a disability but its only if they want it to be. doesnt have to be. just stay on meds and be careful not to pull triggers in convos sensitive to them
Abby

Schuylkill Haven, PA

#4 Aug 24, 2010
This page has helped me so so much! You have no idea! I really thought it was me! I thought I did something wrong! I have been putting myself down and beating myself up and hating myself to a dangerous point! When in fact we have broken up 4 times in the past 7 months. He pushes me away and then at other times he is all over me! I never know how to act! I love him so much he is the love of my life! However, my life is hell and loving him is at what cost? I would be there through this because he is my everything! I want a life with him! However, this back and forth I love you I dont, break up, get back together, move in and move out, is pure hell! I am trying to find a therapist in the Baltimore area that can help me know that I am a good person and him throwing me away but wanting to talk to me, has ruined my life! It is so sad because we had the notebook love story! We had a love story and now he wants to throw it all away! And in 3 weeks he will not, back and forth! AYY god help me now! But thanks for your help guys!
Been there done that

Cambridge, MA

#5 Sep 10, 2010
Abby wrote:
This page has helped me so so much! You have no idea! I really thought it was me! I thought I did something wrong! I have been putting myself down and beating myself up and hating myself to a dangerous point! When in fact we have broken up 4 times in the past 7 months. He pushes me away and then at other times he is all over me! I never know how to act! I love him so much he is the love of my life! However, my life is hell and loving him is at what cost? I would be there through this because he is my everything! I want a life with him! However, this back and forth I love you I dont, break up, get back together, move in and move out, is pure hell! I am trying to find a therapist in the Baltimore area that can help me know that I am a good person and him throwing me away but wanting to talk to me, has ruined my life! It is so sad because we had the notebook love story! We had a love story and now he wants to throw it all away! And in 3 weeks he will not, back and forth! AYY god help me now! But thanks for your help guys!
I had a very similar experience with a bp person. My advice to you is to realize that this is a toxic relationship for you and you need to let go. There are many other people out there that you can have a much healthier relationship with. You need to stop being co-dependant, leave the relationship and build up your self esteem so you will be better prepared for the next relationship that comes your way. You need to tell yourself you can do better and that you deserve better than this treatment. Your future happiness depends on it. Get some professional help if you need to. I learned the hard way, but, I finally let go. I got the same advice and I finally took it. I should have taken it sooner, but, like you, I had deep feelings for the bp person I was dating. You need to move on for your sanity. Please, please remember there are lots of great people out there. Don't act like this is your last shot, it's not!
Been There Done That

United States

#6 Sep 26, 2010
I was with an unmedicated bi-polar person for over four years. These relationships are toxic. Especially if you have issues yourself. You can not change them. They will never be there to support you. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste another minute trying to understand this person and why they can't be there for you. Run away as fast as you can. And I agree, get yourself some professional help. You have a whole life to live. Be happy!
abab

New York, NY

#7 Oct 7, 2010
ok i have a similar experience. i have to say this forum is amazing. i have learned so much and now realize it's not me.

in short, i met this man about a year and a half ago. we met through a friend and things progressed at lightning speed. our first date he took me to meet some of his family and he went on and on about how i was the one. after 3 months he broke up with me saying i was just a hook up and that he didn't care for me at all. I was devestated but i healed. I thought he just had a drinking problem but then learned through others that he was a very depressed person.

fast forward 10 months to this year. he shows up literally out of the blue (we had no contact for 10 months) and says everything i wanted to hear last year. we had another amazing 3 months but he did tell me that he was depressed about his job situation and that he went days sleeping and sometimes couldn't get out of bed. things got better for a week - then bam - he didn't leave the house for a MONTH. a whole month. he kept telling me to hang in there and that this happens to him sometimes. Well i tried to be patient but when 6 weeks had gone by without seeing each other (he would text and call at least once a day)- i put my foot down and said that we can't be together if we dont see each other. he lashed out about how selfish i was (!?!) and that he was depreseed and had too much going on in his life, and the fact i could only think about myself showed him how horrible a person i was. i was shocked. I have only tried to help him and be there for him during this depression. The next he emailed me like nothing had happened and told me he was going to visit his sister to help her with her new baby. We live in the same town and have now not seen each other for 7 weeks. 2 days ago I texted him (since i can't get him on the phone)and told him i couldn't do this anymore. His response!?!- he avoided that subject all together and wrote about how cute his sister's baby was.

I'm so torn and hurt because he has a HUGE drinking problem and is bipolar. i know these are not healthy things but i care about him so much. the face he evades any talk of us - when 2 months ago we were planning a vacation to the carribean and a trip to visit family for the holidays.
I'm crushed.
My 2nd bp relationship

Waianae, HI

#8 Dec 20, 2010
Been there done that wrote:
<quoted text>
I had a very similar experience with a bp person. My advice to you is to realize that this is a toxic relationship for you and you need to let go. There are many other people out there that you can have a much healthier relationship with. You need to stop being co-dependant, leave the relationship and build up your self esteem so you will be better prepared for the next relationship that comes your way. You need to tell yourself you can do better and that you deserve better than this treatment. Your future happiness depends on it. Get some professional help if you need to. I learned the hard way, but, I finally let go. I got the same advice and I finally took it. I should have taken it sooner, but, like you, I had deep feelings for the bp person I was dating. You need to move on for your sanity. Please, please remember there are lots of great people out there. Don't act like this is your last shot, it's not!
Been There Done That,
I really, greatly value your advice and story here above the others. I have this habit of dating chronic depressed and bipolar men. Of course I don't know in the beginning, because they are happy and fairly normal. They're so intelligent, capable, sociable and sincere. They're mature and plan for the future. Then it's just my luck the chemical imbalance will kick in and the person withdraws after everything was so happy. And I ask myself, how the hell did this happen to me again! This last one, I was so careful when we started dating. I had my walls up. I was guarded and skeptical. Finally he kept telling me that he was certain about his feelings for me and I should let my guard down. So I decided to trust him. I stopped dating anyone else. I opened my heart and let myself fall for him without restraint. I did not know I was choosing another bp. Then his depression took over. For a while he thanked me for my tolerance with his behavior and not giving up even though I wouldn't see him for months. Finally, when I pushed the subject of where I stand, he said it's best for me to move on. He's not capable of offering much, and not to settle for him. He wants to live his life alone.
It is so hard to let go after letting myself be open to this. Please give me more details on how you did it.
Karen

Cape Coral, FL

#9 Dec 21, 2010
Abby wrote:
This page has helped me so so much! You have no idea! I really thought it was me! I thought I did something wrong! I have been putting myself down and beating myself up and hating myself to a dangerous point! When in fact we have broken up 4 times in the past 7 months. He pushes me away and then at other times he is all over me! I never know how to act! I love him so much he is the love of my life! However, my life is hell and loving him is at what cost? I would be there through this because he is my everything! I want a life with him! However, this back and forth I love you I dont, break up, get back together, move in and move out, is pure hell! I am trying to find a therapist in the Baltimore area that can help me know that I am a good person and him throwing me away but wanting to talk to me, has ruined my life! It is so sad because we had the notebook love story! We had a love story and now he wants to throw it all away! And in 3 weeks he will not, back and forth! AYY god help me now! But thanks for your help guys!
Hi, Your comment "at what cost" is a very honest response and I think you need to hold on to that thought. I have been married 21 years to bipolar and it was a really nice marriage and did not have "many" problems until 4 years ago with the first manic episode. Now we are separated with 2 small children and it is just heartbreaking for them mostly. All I can do is ride the tide, not get too close, talk very little about anything of importance and let the children enjoy what time there is with him because he can't seem to settle down enough to spend much time even though he wants to. Good guy but it has to be at a distance. You are very young and you must look at what is making you think that is all you deserve. If you don't, you may find yet another similar type relationship. I hope you can step out of what you are in, not try to make things different and find something better, not necessarily boyfriend. He will not change if you are there. He needs to be on his own to work things out or he will place all his emotions on you instead of himself, which is where they belong. I hope you can take everyone's advice and take a moment to ponder. Unfortunately, it has taken me many, many years to learn that lesson. Life is too short! take care
Been there done that

Boston, MA

#10 Dec 21, 2010
My 2nd bp relationship wrote:
<quoted text>
Been There Done That,
I really, greatly value your advice and story here above the others. I have this habit of dating chronic depressed and bipolar men. Of course I don't know in the beginning, because they are happy and fairly normal. They're so intelligent, capable, sociable and sincere. They're mature and plan for the future. Then it's just my luck the chemical imbalance will kick in and the person withdraws after everything was so happy. And I ask myself, how the hell did this happen to me again! This last one, I was so careful when we started dating. I had my walls up. I was guarded and skeptical. Finally he kept telling me that he was certain about his feelings for me and I should let my guard down. So I decided to trust him. I stopped dating anyone else. I opened my heart and let myself fall for him without restraint. I did not know I was choosing another bp. Then his depression took over. For a while he thanked me for my tolerance with his behavior and not giving up even though I wouldn't see him for months. Finally, when I pushed the subject of where I stand, he said it's best for me to move on. He's not capable of offering much, and not to settle for him. He wants to live his life alone.
It is so hard to let go after letting myself be open to this. Please give me more details on how you did it.
This is to: "My 2nd bp relationship". I don't know who wrote the second comment under Been there done that. That was not me. Anyway, to answer your question...It is not an easy road that I chose. I loved and still love the bp person I broke up with. However, I think the direction I choose is an easier road than settling for an abusive relationship where you are always sad, frustrated and confused. In my case, we were not married and we did not have any kids, so, I can't speak for people in that situation. I know that would have made it much more complicated and difficult. But, just read and reread all these stories posted on this website from people who ended up married to these emotionally unavailable bp people. I really helps me, even though I feel like I cut off an arm letting go of my abusive partner. It takes time to heal. Sometimes a long time. It may not be easy. All I am saying is why settle for a miserable relationship when you can get out now before you are in too deep? If you are in a relationship and you are sad all the time, then, somethings wrong. Life has more to offer you than that. It's not normal. Relationships are supposed to enrich our lives not ruin them. We all know that deep inside, but, we hold on because we are afraid to let go. We don't want to be alone. The only question is: Do you believe there is someone better out there for you? When we think that we can't do any better than what we have now, we settle. If we have low self-esteem, we settle. If we are afraid to be alone for a little while, we settle. If we are co-dependent, again, we will settle for less than a healthy relationship. Everyone that I know who is in an abusive relationship has low self-esteem. Every relationship expert will tell you that we need to love ourselves first before we can have a healthy relationship with someone else. When you really love yourself and feel complete without a partner, you will attract the right person. You keep attracting the same type of relationship because of the relationship you have with yourself. So work on loving and respecting yourself more first, and you will stop attracting abusive partners. We only get in life what we think we deserve. Really be honest with yourself. Ask yourself these questions: Why are you holding on to this relationship? Are you afraid to be alone? Are you co-dependent? Do you think you can save him or change him? Do you feel he is your last shot at love? Do you love yourself and enjoy your time alone with you? Do you feel incomplete if you are not in a relationship? Read: "Love Will Find You" by Kathryn Alice.
Been there done that

Boston, MA

#11 Dec 21, 2010
Here is where I think many people in abusive relationships make a big mistake. They are under the false impression that the abuser is the only one with emotional issues. It is not true. If you really read the stories here, you will notice many of the abused partners are admitting that they have low self-esteem. If you read between the lines, you will notice that many of these people are co-dependent. When we are emotionally healthy we don't settle for "bad" partners. We wont do it because we know we deserve better and we are willing to let go.
For example: I know a woman who is very emotionally abused by her husband. Everyone tells her to leave him and she has tried more than once, but, she always goes back to him because, as she puts it: "I don't want to be alone." Well, let me tell you, she is an attractive woman and a great person with a lot to offer. Everyone sees it, but, her. So, again she settles for years and years of emotional abuse instead of being alone for a little while and waiting for someone who will truly love her and treat her with the respect she deserves. People who have married the wrong person will tell you: It can be a lot lonelier being married to the wrong person than being alone. Granted, It's hard to except that when we are alone. That, however, does not make it a lie. Plus, a divorce can be a lot more expensive and painful than breaking it off before you marry and involve children. You have to try and look into the future and not panic. Things will change. Life is full of changes. You can find love again. But, YOU have to believe it. Again, so many people have so much to offer someone else, but, they don't see it and they end up with a "loser" who doesn't deserve them. It's truly sad. Don't join the ranks of the "miserable" when YOU have options. It's your life, so, expect the best and settle for nothing less. I wish you the best. I hope I helped you. Take care and make your own decisions, just don't decide because of loneliness or desperation. Those decisions never work out well. They are based on faulty reasoning.
Been there done that

Boston, MA

#12 Dec 21, 2010
I want to make it clear that I am not promoting divorce. I am talking about leaving a relationship before you are married where no children are involved. Marriage is another thing altogether. It is more complicated and I am not a marriage counselor. Everyone has to make their own decision. I was just answering a question that was posed to me. My advice is just that: advice. If you think you need professional help, you should see a professional.
Abby

United States

#13 Dec 21, 2010
Yes what it comes down to is that the good has to be more than the bad. When it is good it is good, however when it is bad it is SO BAD. Welcome to bipolar. I have read up on the disorder, I read 3 books, I have a therapist so I am well educated on the topic. Bipolar people can have healthy relationships and marriages as long as they are stable and making the right choices, which include taking their meds, and seeing a therapist. However, things can change at any moment. I think the divorce rate for a bipolar person is like 80% which is very high. However most of the time they stop taking the meds and that happens a lot, they are on them they are off, it is always the same story. First of all it is dangerous to them if they stop cold turkey, it can trigger seizures and heart issues. However, they usually just stop taking them, which is not health. Taking medicine is a requirement for bipolar it helps with the cycling and episodes and life all around. However, if they are not willing to do this their personal relationships will be affected, jobs and so on. It is a lack of a chemical in the brain and without meds they cant make up for the lack of chemical as much as they try, no one can. It is not their fault, however it is up to us to choice a wise choice for us to live a healthy life! They can control this type of behavior if they wish, it is their choice! Take meds and have me in your life or without meds you cant have me in your life, it is simple!

I went back last time and we last another 3 months. We have a great relationship for 3 months and then he gets mad at me and leaves or runs and then we go from 100% to 0 in a day. We went from talking about marriage, and our kids, picking out xmas gifts and moving ahead in our relationship to I hate you and wish I never met you! Which is hard, for me. I know that I can have other guys, and find a loving relationship I am not with him because I cant find anything else. I love him, but at what cost. I am coming to terms with him and this disorder. In fact we have not been together for 2 weeks and I am enjoying my alone time! Spending time on me for once! Not having to deal with the selfishness from the bipolar. I know he doesnt mean to treat me this way but he does at times. I do not have to take care of him and be his mother. Not clean his life up over and over again, help him deal with his issues. This has been his choice to stop taking the meds and I watched our relationship fall apart. On meds he is an amazing guy, however he keeps stopping taking them and I cant live like this! He is a great guy when happy but when he is not happy look out I am a stupid and horrible person! He treats me like shit during this time, says common friends of ours! But I always go back cuz he becomes the guy I fell in love with. It is like this evil guy comes out for 1 week every 3 months. But, yes again at what cost to my mental health is this relationship. He does not see how he acts and how he is acting 100% bipolar! However, of course it is something I have done! ha thanks for your posts, I am at a much better place than 3 months ago due to therapy! It is helping so much! I know I cant live in limbo, and that is where I have been for the past 11 months! I know it is hard to say good bye, but sometimes it is a must! I only look towards the future and if he is doing this now what will he do to me when we are married, leave me alone with our children, cheat and lie, and I will have a home to take care of, children and bills? I cant.. I only hope that I can find a guy that I have a connection with like I had with him! But, it is ok I will alright!

If anyone has any question please email or post, I will try to help in anyway! Good luck to everyone!!
Abby

United States

#14 Dec 21, 2010
You guys are right these relationships can be turn into a verbal, and emotionally abusive relationship. It is sad that they do not see how they treat us. It is very hurtful! But sometimes you just have to let go of a great love in order to be yourself again and love yourself! I love him but I love me more! I come first and if I am not happy then we cant be happy together. I agree with above it is so difficult to leave once you are married. You have ties and children, you have to think hard before you marry a person to make sure they can give you what you need. I never had low self esteem till I started dating a guy who put me down and was bipolar and it was hard to get out, however it will be more difficult when you are married. He has mad bad choices and hurt me with friends, due to his behavior. However, it is easier to leave now than in 3 years or 10 years. This is hard on you now, think of how hard it will be once you are married with kids. Even harder... sometimes these things happen for a reason! I am sick of being a door mat, and on a string. He calls or texts and I jump, we are together on his terms. He could care less what I need or want, it is all about him and always will be, this is the bipolar. I guess these guys need a girl that will be a whatever you want hunny, type of girl. Very quite and their relationship will be all about them, that is what they need. That so is not me! You guys have to make a choice and live with it.. sometimes it is better to be alone than in pain all the time! Not that these relationships are always painful, but the pain and bad times keep coming back, which means the patterns are not changing. Which means it will happen over and over again. In time you will get sick of it, like I have.. that is when you know it is time to move on...
Been there done that

Boston, MA

#15 Dec 21, 2010
Abby! I love your post. Very enlightening. I reasoned things out the exact same way as you. There was more bad than good. I knew that things would only get worse if I married my bp girlfriend. I decided I didn't want a life of sheer "hell". People should seek out your advice. I think you could really help some people on here. I admire your strength and your courage. I wish you well on your new life. I have chosen a similar path. So, I know it's not easy.
Ann

United States

#16 Apr 13, 2011
Abby wrote:
Yes what it comes down to is that the good has to be more than the bad. When it is good it is good, however when it is bad it is SO BAD. Welcome to bipolar. I have read up on the disorder, I read 3 books, I have a therapist so I am well educated on the topic. Bipolar people can have healthy relationships and marriages as long as they are stable and making the right choices, which include taking their meds, and seeing a therapist. However, things can change at any moment. I think the divorce rate for a bipolar person is like 80% which is very high. However most of the time they stop taking the meds and that happens a lot, they are on them they are off, it is always the same story. First of all it is dangerous to them if they stop cold turkey, it can trigger seizures and heart issues. However, they usually just stop taking them, which is not health. Taking medicine is a requirement for bipolar it helps with the cycling and episodes and life all around. However, if they are not willing to do this their personal relationships will be affected, jobs and so on. It is a lack of a chemical in the brain and without meds they cant make up for the lack of chemical as much as they try, no one can. It is not their fault, however it is up to us to choice a wise choice for us to live a healthy life! They can control this type of behavior if they wish, it is their choice! Take meds and have me in your life or without meds you cant have me in your life, it is simple!
I went back last time and we last another 3 months. We have a great relationship for 3 months and then he gets mad at me and leaves or runs and then we go from 100% to 0 in a day. We went from talking about marriage, and our kids, picking out xmas gifts and moving ahead in our relationship to I hate you and wish I never met you! Which is hard, for me. I know that I can have other guys, and find a loving relationship I am not with him because I cant find anything else. I love him, but at what cost. I am coming to terms with him and this disorder. In fact we have not been together for 2 weeks and I am enjoying my alone time! Spending time on me for once! Not having to deal with the selfishness from the bipolar. I know he doesnt mean to treat me this way but he does at times. I do not have to take care of him and be his mother. Not clean his life up over and over again, help him deal with his issues. This has been his choice to stop taking the meds and I watched our relationship fall apart. On meds he is an amazing guy, however he keeps stopping taking them and I cant live like this! He is a great guy when happy but when he is not happy look out I am a stupid and horrible person! He treats me like shit during this time, says common friends of ours! But I always go back cuz he becomes the guy I fell in love with. It is like this evil guy comes out for 1 week every 3 months. But, yes again at what cost to my mental health is this relationship. He does not see how he acts and how he is acting 100% bipolar! However, of course it is something I have done! ha thanks for your posts, I am at a much better place than 3 months ago due to therapy! It is helping so much! I know I cant live in limbo, and that is where I have been for the past 11 months! I know it is hard to say good bye, but sometimes it is a must! I only look towards the future and if he is doing this now what will he do to me when we are married, leave me alone with our children, cheat and lie, and I will have a home to take care of, children and bills? I cant.. I only hope that I can find a guy that I have a connection with like I had with him! But, it is ok I will alright!
If anyone has any question please email or post, I will try to help in anyway! Good luck to everyone!!
Wow Abby, your post really hit home. I felt like I was reading my own relationship, although mine was not dx'd with BP. All I can say is wow. We were engaged Dec. 24th of this year and 3 weeks later he was cheating. Its over
Van

Evanston, IL

#17 Nov 27, 2011
I agree. I dated a girl on and off for a few months that was bipolar and borderline personality disorder. She moved in with her two kids and my life went straight to hell. It was all about her and her needs. Always problems and she lied constantantly. I almost lost my business. Spent all my money trying to make her happy. Finally one day I had enough and told her I wasn't happy and it was time for both of us to move on. She packed her shit and was gone in three days. I loved her like crazy but was not willing to lose my life's work and everything else for that crazy bitch. Sometimes as stated earlier love is not enough. I had lost 30 lbs in the five months she lived there cause she only ate maybe once every three days. She cared only for her needs. Tore me up bad and I no I still love her but am letting go for me. Cause I do deserve better and have realized that. Even changed my phone number and haven't spoken to her since I told her to leave. These people will suck u back in Run like hell. Heal yourself and move on. These people will destroy u.
My 2nd bp relationship

Waianae, HI

#18 Nov 30, 2011
Been there done that,
I just re-read your post from last year, and noticed you recommended a book, Love Will Find You.
I'm just not so sure I believe that.
At first I thought, there are so many people out there. The right one will come to me. And it's true, I do NOT deserve a relationship that's one-sided. I've never been in an abusive relationship, but it def has been a roller coaster, and we have pretty much stayed away from each other this whole year. I do find it extremely difficult to let go. It's not easy to make such connections with people. I'm very social and I meet new people all the time. I don't want to settle. But I try to be open minded. I don't jump from relationship to relationship. I try to maintain friendships first. There seem to be some normal people out there, but of course we're not attracted to them. For now I'm fine being single, but it is discouraging to keep meeting people and finding no connection. I hold onto the beautiful memories to keep going, to keep me thinking this feeling could happen again with someone else. But time just flies by. Then again, I don't want to be destroyed by the selfish roller coaster relationship.
Been there Done that

Beverly, MA

#19 Dec 1, 2011
My 2nd bp relationship wrote:
Been there done that,
I just re-read your post from last year, and noticed you recommended a book, Love Will Find You.
I'm just not so sure I believe that.
At first I thought, there are so many people out there. The right one will come to me. And it's true, I do NOT deserve a relationship that's one-sided. I've never been in an abusive relationship, but it def has been a roller coaster, and we have pretty much stayed away from each other this whole year. I do find it extremely difficult to let go. It's not easy to make such connections with people. I'm very social and I meet new people all the time. I don't want to settle. But I try to be open minded. I don't jump from relationship to relationship. I try to maintain friendships first. There seem to be some normal people out there, but of course we're not attracted to them. For now I'm fine being single, but it is discouraging to keep meeting people and finding no connection. I hold onto the beautiful memories to keep going, to keep me thinking this feeling could happen again with someone else. But time just flies by. Then again, I don't want to be destroyed by the selfish roller coaster relationship.
You don't have to believe anything before you check it out first. That being said, did you read the book? Did you even read the reviews of people who read the book on amazon.com ? If not, then why not look into it first before rushing to judgment? Also, read some books on the law of attraction and then make up your mind what you believe. What's the worst thing that could happen? You read a few books and get your mind of your sorrows for awhile and confirm you were right that there is nothing to learn and your life simply remains the same. But, what if just maybe, just maybe, you learn a discover some hidden "truths" and you change your life for the better. What do you have to lose? Really? Are you happy now? If not, then life is telling you that you still have something to learn. There is a saying: "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Are you ready? Only you can answer that question. But, just excepting things as they are without trying to find a better way is just a cope out. Many times it's easier to just stay where we are and wallow in self pity. Most people are afraid to expand their comfort zones even when they are unhappy where they are. It feels safer. This is not really living life the way it was meant to be lived. So, although you are unhappy, you don't move from where you are because you feel safe with where you are only because it is what you are used to. Is that the way you want to live your life? Think seriously about that question. When we are unhappy, it's a sign that we are not doing what we should be doing. Something is missing. It's our intuition trying to tell us to make a change. If we ignore it, we will never be happy. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Anderson

Mountain View, CA

#20 Dec 8, 2011
My Name is Anderson..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when i went to Africa to Execute some business..He is really powerful..My wife divorce me with no reason for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have her back cos i really love her so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and she woke up one morning and she told me she's going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when she came back from work she tender to me a divorce letter and she packed all her loads from my house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have her back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 4 years...So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for her full name and her picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution...so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that she's with a man and that man is the reason why she left me...The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring her back.but i never believe all this...he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later,she called me herself and came to me apologizing and she told me she will come back to me..I cant believe this,it was like a dream cos i never believe this will work out after trying many spell casters and there is no solution..The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and my wife got pregnant a month later..we are now happy been together again and with lovely kid..This spell caster has really changed my life and i will forever thankful to him..he has helped many friends too with similar problem too and they are happy and thankful to him..This man is indeed the most powerful spell caster have ever experienced in life..Am Posting this to the Forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out..you can reach him to his personal email [email protected] com .good luck

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