Phoenix

Columbus, OH

#83 Apr 29, 2010
I recently stumbled upon this site in my quest to find peace of mind and answers after going through a relationship rollercoaster with a guy.
I first met this guy about two and half years ago. He was a couple of years younger than me. Seeing that he was so young and more so than me, I was quite hesitant to date him,but he was persistent. It was my first relationship ever and so I fell for his charm. Within barely a month of knowing me, he was claiming I was ‘the one’, and that he wanted to marry me, that he was so happy with me. Our relationship was long distance and in the beginning, he made every effort to come see me every weekend. I was on ‘Cloud Nine’ with all his wooing. He did make mean statements sometimes,saying I was too nice and I bored him,that I should play hard to get etc. About six months down the line,after meeting my mom, he claims he feels claustrophobic and that he is too young for a serious relationship,even though I had not put any pressure on him to be engaged or move in together. After saying he wanted time apart, he forced me to break up with him. We talked a bit after that, wherein he said he thought we might have a chance in the future. He then cuts me off entirely,refusing to respond to my emails,calls or texts. Finally after a month or so, I start moving on. In about 4 months when I have finally met another guy I want to date, the first jerk calls me (must have some kind of antenna) and says he is sorry and misses me. I tell him that I still care for and love him but I am with someone else now.
For some time, I have no contact with him except for sporadic emails,asking me to get back in touch with him. Six months later, as my relationship with the new guy is falling apart, I let the jerk back into my life again. It was my fault too, I agree,but I never dreamed in my wildest dreams the level of duplicity and lies I was going to be subjected to. We talked nearly every day much to the chagrin and knowledge of my new boyfriend. I told him that I was willing to leave my boyfriend as I was not happy and get back together with him.Everytime, I did, though, he retreated, saying he wasn’t ready yet. He still continued with the ‘you are the one’ line,though. I finally broke up with my boyfriend nearly fifteen months later and started dating this jerk again.
It only lasted two months. In the beginning , he was all mushy and sweet. Then all of a sudden, he withdrew into a shell. He didn’t want to give our relationship a name, didn’t want me to go visit him in his city and didn’t want me to be friends with him on facebook. I believe now that our relationship was not acknowledged as ’girlfriend-boyfriend’ with his friends. Sometimes, he wouldn’t answer calls or texts and then make stupid claims that he was asleep or busy.
I also,then,found out for sure that he was bipolar. He didn’t know what kind and refused to get help. I finally forced him to see a psychiatrist and the verdict was grim. The doctor said that along with some childhood issues and the bipolar, he was never going to change only maybe mellow with age. He also said he needed a partner who would be very understanding and patient but that it would be an unequal relationship.He would always be selfish and never empathize with others. He said to stay away from alcohol and bad friends and work on family relationships (his relations with his mom and dad are very strained)but not to lead any girls on.
I was willing to be understanding and patient. I loved him with all my life and was willing to do anything to help him. All I expected back was honesty,respect and some semblance of feeling/love for me in return. Was that too much to expect?
He got back into the whole ‘I don’t want a relationship now’ mode and acted distantly cruel,until we called it quits again. He still wanted to be friends and talked on the phone occasionally. He was flaunting in my face how many girls flirted with him. One day,in despair and rage , I got intimate with
Phoenix

Columbus, OH

#84 Apr 29, 2010
Continued from previous post
One day,in despair and rage , I got intimate with the second ex (we had been broken up then for a month). When I told him, he blew up and accused me of betraying his trust and called me names (demeaning a woman’s integrity). I don’t remember ever signing an agreement with him to be faithful even after we broke up. Plus,he was the one who provoked me saying I too would move on like him and date others.
It has been three weeks now since we stopped all contact. This after he once again refused to have one last final conversation with me to end things on a good note (he broke up with me via text the first time round).
I recently saw facebook pics of him with another girl.
I assume they are dating. How shallow could he be, that he could move on so fast? I suspect , he may have been with her even while he was with me. That should explain all the refusals to let me visit him etc. I don’t know what his intentions are with her ,especially since he told me didn’t want to have a relationship.
The girl is international as am I and this brings to mind all the exotic girls he has dated, almost like he is collecting trophies from every country. From whatever little I know, he has had a history of leading on at least two foreign girls over the internet and then pulling back abruptly and has betrayed a former girlfriend by exchanging emails with another girl which she saw (this is how much he admits to). He has also given me sketchy details about other shady activities in his life.
Anyway, I don’t what to make of this. His profile exactly fits that described in Dr. Joseph Carvers ‘Identifying Losers in Relationships’ article. He may have ‘Narcissistic Disorder’ too as he was always making exaggerated claims of his abilities and how amazing he is. He is forever boasting and expecting me to massage his ego. I didn’t do that and didn’t agree with some of his skewed perceptions of things and he blamed me for not understanding him.
For a long time, I made excuses for his behavior , that he had a difficult childhood (I’ve had that too but yet don’t use it as an excuse to treat people badly ) and that he is bipolar. Still when the lies and inconsistencies and emotional abuse didn’t stop, I had to let go. All of my friends and family disapprove of him. They say he is beneath me on several levels-education, background,maturity and integrity of character. They say he will surely try to contact me again when he hits a low and so have forced me to block most possible modes of communication with him.
I have loved this man and still do,yet, I am learning to love myself more. Learning to understand that I am worthy of true love and deserve a man treating me well and reciprocating my love. No more of this
Phoenix

Columbus, OH

#85 Apr 29, 2010
No more of this emotional rollercoaster. I am gradually accepting all this although I still have my bad days when all the hurt and pain come rushing through and all I can feel is shock at having been subjected to this,especially when I offered unconditional love and acceptance.
Still looking for for my silver lining in this cloud………
Heather

Winona, MN

#86 Apr 29, 2010
Wow!!! this all scares the crap out of me... I am recentley sober and have just had a baby with a bipolar man... I know this already sounds really bad... but since I became pregnant my life has turned around totally. I am happy and I am sober. My baby is a blessing from God and has truely changed my life. His dad and me were not dating when I became pregnant. He has another child with his ex. She left him and now he wants to be with me. So basically he is all over the place telling me this and that and none of it adds up or makes any sense. After reading this I am truely concerned about my child. I want to be with him he is a great guy but he won't take any meds. Wow.. he's the father of my baby so I thought I would try to make this work out but since I am just geting inot my own helath I think i twould be recjkess if ne ti contiue this realtionshiop please help
Deuce wrote:
Julie, you and I sound exactly alike. I am absolutely blown away by the parallel life. I've been going to counseling and writing a book about surviving this and previous relationships where my s/o had some kind of addiction. My husband now does not drink or do alcohol and I cannot imagine life if he did. I would have left him immediately if he hit me because I already survived that kind of relationship. Even though we are no longer together (as of Dec 2009) and he is screwing a tramp that came between us (she told him something about me that was not true), he still manages to call and stir the fire. He's always talking about not wanting to be involved in drama yet he creates so much of it. He seems to thrive off it and then blames me. He keeps coming to an agreement with me and within days he calls and acts as though I am imagining the conversation. I too am trying to continue to support him as best as I can and have told him so. I will no longer offer passive support and the needs of my son and I will now come first. If you want to chat offline, let me know. I'd love to get more of your insight.

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#87 Apr 29, 2010
Heather wrote:
Wow!!! this all scares the crap out of me... I am recentley sober and have just had a baby with a bipolar man... I know this already sounds really bad... but since I became pregnant my life has turned around totally. I am happy and I am sober. My baby is a blessing from God and has truely changed my life. His dad and me were not dating when I became pregnant. He has another child with his ex. She left him and now he wants to be with me. So basically he is all over the place telling me this and that and none of it adds up or makes any sense. After reading this I am truely concerned about my child. I want to be with him he is a great guy but he won't take any meds. Wow.. he's the father of my baby so I thought I would try to make this work out but since I am just geting inot my own helath I think i twould be recjkess if ne ti contiue this realtionshiop please help
<quoted text>
If he won't take meds...run for the hills!! You owe this to your child. Bipolar's are not bad people, they just have a bad illness that, when not controlled, negatively affects everyone around them. No meds equals no chance for a happy family life.
Phoenix

Columbus, OH

#88 Apr 30, 2010
Yes my ex refuses to not only see the psychiatrist after that one and only appointment but he has also firmly stated he won't take any meds.
If you research the condition with respect to realtionships further, you will know that people who've been married to bipolar people for years, say that even on taking medication,they are still somewhat unstable, like a sleeping lion waiting to pounce. Without meds, its full on craziness and mood swings.
Do not subject you and your baby to this man's abuse. Since there maybe a chance that your baby may have bipolar too, provide a stable and loving environment and carefully watch for any symptoms. They say environment and stress are triggers for bipolar to manifest in people already prone to it. So take care of your baby and find a man who will love and cherish both of you
Same experience

Boston, MA

#89 May 27, 2010
Phoenix wrote:
Continued from previous post
One day,in despair and rage , I got intimate with the second ex (we had been broken up then for a month). When I told him, he blew up and accused me of betraying his trust and called me names (demeaning a woman’s integrity). I don’t remember ever signing an agreement with him to be faithful even after we broke up. Plus,he was the one who provoked me saying I too would move on like him and date others.
It has been three weeks now since we stopped all contact. This after he once again refused to have one last final conversation with me to end things on a good note (he broke up with me via text the first time round).
I recently saw facebook pics of him with another girl.
I assume they are dating. How shallow could he be, that he could move on so fast? I suspect , he may have been with her even while he was with me. That should explain all the refusals to let me visit him etc. I don’t know what his intentions are with her ,especially since he told me didn’t want to have a relationship.
The girl is international as am I and this brings to mind all the exotic girls he has dated, almost like he is collecting trophies from every country. From whatever little I know, he has had a history of leading on at least two foreign girls over the internet and then pulling back abruptly and has betrayed a former girlfriend by exchanging emails with another girl which she saw (this is how much he admits to). He has also given me sketchy details about other shady activities in his life.
Anyway, I don’t what to make of this. His profile exactly fits that described in Dr. Joseph Carvers ‘Identifying Losers in Relationships’ article. He may have ‘Narcissistic Disorder’ too as he was always making exaggerated claims of his abilities and how amazing he is. He is forever boasting and expecting me to massage his ego. I didn’t do that and didn’t agree with some of his skewed perceptions of things and he blamed me for not understanding him.
For a long time, I made excuses for his behavior , that he had a difficult childhood (I’ve had that too but yet don’t use it as an excuse to treat people badly ) and that he is bipolar. Still when the lies and inconsistencies and emotional abuse didn’t stop, I had to let go. All of my friends and family disapprove of him. They say he is beneath me on several levels-education, background,maturity and integrity of character. They say he will surely try to contact me again when he hits a low and so have forced me to block most possible modes of communication with him.
I have loved this man and still do,yet, I am learning to love myself more. Learning to understand that I am worthy of true love and deserve a man treating me well and reciprocating my love. No more of this
When I read your story, I thought I was reading my story, except for the fact that I am a man and the woman I had a relationship with is bipolar. Let me tell you, she did just about everything to me that you jerk boyfriend did to you. Bipolar people "fall in love" ridiculously quick and often. They push you away when you least expect it and when it seems the relationship is going strong. I almost married her until I realized I wanted someone who could actually think about me and my feelings once and awhile. After I left her, she married someone else within months. It didn't really surprise me, she is very needy and is obsessed with sexual attention. I knew she couldn't be without a guy for very long. My advice to you is the same advice I got from 2 people I know who have lived with bipolar people.....RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS! THERE ARE OTHER GUYS OUT THERE WHO CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY! DO NOT SETTLE BECAUSE YOU ARE LONELY OR HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM. Remember this one thing: LIFE ALWAYS GIVES US WHAT WE THINK WE DESERVE. YOU DESERVE THE BEST OUT OF LIFE. ALWAYS TELL YOURSELF THAT AND BE A GIVING, CARING PERSON AND THAT'S WHAT YOU WILL GET BACK. I wish you the best.
Please listen

Boston, MA

#90 May 27, 2010
Ashley wrote:
I am very much still involved with my ex-boyfriend, who is my ex because I dumped him. I've known him for three years now, and we've been broken up for 1. He has been lying to me for the entire three years. He has cheated more times than I can count on my fingers, he has physically and mentally abused me, manipulated me, and threatened me. Yet for some reason, in his mind it is all my fault. He has literally said to me that everything that has gone wrong in his life is my fault.
I got to know his last girlfriend very well. His behaviors with me mimic her experiences with him to a T.
Sometimes he can't get enough of me, and then the next day he wants me out of his life. Then he'll promise me to get better. But he has never apologized, and sometimes the strangest thing happens.
It's like he has selective memory. We'll be fighting over something, and it's like he's forgotten what he said to make me so mad in the first place. All he remembers is what a "retarded bitch" I'm being. People in the thread have got it right, speaking logic is pointless.
I'm fairly emotionally unstable at the moment, which is why I stay with him. I am 20 and at college. I have a hard time getting along with the kids around me because I find them to be very immature. So my ex is the only person that I have to confide in. I'm terrified to leave him because I don't want to be alone. And sometimes he really does listen.
But most of the time he is driving me insane. I'm fairly strong, however, in that I won't give in. That's why we fight so much, because I let him know when he's being an asshole, and he doesn't like it. I just don't know how to cope, because no matter how many times he tells me that he needs time to change, the fact of the matter is that he was saying that three years ago. And things have only gotten worse.
I went through the same exact thing with a BP person I dated. I almost believed I was at fault for everything which I wasn't. Fortunately, I had just enough self dignity and emotional strength to get out of the relationship before it was too late. It doesn't take them long to find another victim. They fall in love at the drop of a hat. At least they think so. My advice...Get out of there, fast! Find someone else. You are right, you deserve better
ImGoingNuts

Columbus, OH

#91 Jun 11, 2010
I have been with my significant other for two years now, and I have serious suspicions that he is bipolar. The obsession with conspiracies, extreme violent mood swings. One minute he loves me. The next he doesn't. This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't love him so very much.

I've talked to him about this (very, very carefully. he will explode) but he doesn't believe that anything is wrong. He doesn't even believe that bipolar "exists"! He would never get on any sort of medication (he refuses to see doctors, anyway). Getting him to go to therapy would take divine intervention.

When he isn't blaming me, bullying me, being selfish and irrational, he is extremely caring, affectionate, passionate, funny, etc. There is a wonderful person inside of him. I know this. I've seen him.

I find myself crying more now than I ever have in my entire life. The constant instability is almost more than I can bare, but I do it because I love him.

Is this a lost cause? Should I not even waste my time? I've wanted to leave him before, but I just can't do it. I wish that I didn't love him like I do.

How can I help someone that doesn't even recognize that something is wrong? I find it unlikely.
I have nothing else to say.
katie196565

Montrose, AL

#92 Jun 15, 2010
i am in the same boat you rae in and i can tell you its not you its him he has a mental illness and thats part of it he will never give you more unless you give him lolts of time and patience you will know soon enough if he doesnt do better move on god will help you good luck
Icy hot wrote:
I've been in a "relationship" for almost 6 months with a man that was easy to love. It seemed like we wanted the same things in life.. we had both been hurt in the past. I learned he was bi-polar one week after meeting him. I've stuck by him. I never looked at him like he was different (dont know if that is a bad thing) Up until now I thought he cared for me (and maybe he does) but he has been wanting to be by himself more and more. He says I am smothering and he is not use to anyone doing anything for him. I only see him once or twice a week. I really dont think I did anything wrong. I really want to know if he is going through some bi-polar symptoms or is he "just not that into me". I asked him if he wanted us to part and he said no. He is telling me not to expect too much from him. I dont know where all this came from, but I appreciate any info. I have read so much on this illness because I care about him. He is a good man. He just wants to be alone in his cave. Should I break it off with him? I am confused. Please help

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#93 Jun 16, 2010
ImGoingNuts wrote:
I have been with my significant other for two years now, and I have serious suspicions that he is bipolar. The obsession with conspiracies, extreme violent mood swings. One minute he loves me. The next he doesn't. This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't love him so very much.
I've talked to him about this (very, very carefully. he will explode) but he doesn't believe that anything is wrong. He doesn't even believe that bipolar "exists"! He would never get on any sort of medication (he refuses to see doctors, anyway). Getting him to go to therapy would take divine intervention.
When he isn't blaming me, bullying me, being selfish and irrational, he is extremely caring, affectionate, passionate, funny, etc. There is a wonderful person inside of him. I know this. I've seen him.
I find myself crying more now than I ever have in my entire life. The constant instability is almost more than I can bare, but I do it because I love him.
Is this a lost cause? Should I not even waste my time? I've wanted to leave him before, but I just can't do it. I wish that I didn't love him like I do.
How can I help someone that doesn't even recognize that something is wrong? I find it unlikely.
I have nothing else to say.
Move on. If not, you will spend the rest of your life taking care of his needs and you will cease to exist as an individual and hate him for it.
ImGoingNuts

Columbus, OH

#94 Jun 21, 2010
Thank you USAsince1680 for your reply.
I used to think that there was hope for this relationship.

My significant other and myself are both religious. However, he has taken to reading through the Bible and twisting it to suit his own purposes. He believes that he is "special", and that is why God wakes him up in the middle of the night to talk to him (I am being completely serious). Apparently, God has told him to never work again, and to travel around America, living in a camper.

He gets new "revelations" several times a week.

His family takes everything that he says as gospel, which doesn't help whatsoever.
Now he has decided that I am "evil", "filled with demons" and who knows what else - because I don't subscribe to his bizarre version of our faith.

The way that I dress (Loose fitting jeans and a modest tank top) is sinful. The fact that I have hobbies is sinful. The music that I listen to is sinful.

He has become increasingly more hostile (Throwing our kitten across the room because she pounced him). I'm totally dumbfounded.

I guess what I'm asking is this: Do you guys think that this is bipolar, or perhaps something else? I wish that I was certain about exactly what I'm dealing with here.

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#95 Jun 21, 2010
ImGoingNuts wrote:
Thank you USAsince1680 for your reply.
I used to think that there was hope for this relationship.
My significant other and myself are both religious. However, he has taken to reading through the Bible and twisting it to suit his own purposes. He believes that he is "special", and that is why God wakes him up in the middle of the night to talk to him (I am being completely serious). Apparently, God has told him to never work again, and to travel around America, living in a camper.
He gets new "revelations" several times a week.
His family takes everything that he says as gospel, which doesn't help whatsoever.
Now he has decided that I am "evil", "filled with demons" and who knows what else - because I don't subscribe to his bizarre version of our faith.
The way that I dress (Loose fitting jeans and a modest tank top) is sinful. The fact that I have hobbies is sinful. The music that I listen to is sinful.
He has become increasingly more hostile (Throwing our kitten across the room because she pounced him). I'm totally dumbfounded.
I guess what I'm asking is this: Do you guys think that this is bipolar, or perhaps something else? I wish that I was certain about exactly what I'm dealing with here.
Sounds bi-polar to me. They often grasp onto religion to the point of being fanatical. Many believe they are healers and they always believe they are all knowing. You cannot help this person unless they are willing to acknowledge they have a problem. Most often, they will accuse you of being the one with the problem. Don't waste your life trying to make this person well. Ten years from now you will still be fighting the same battle and for what??
W8ting4theThaw

Nyack, NY

#96 Jul 27, 2010
USAsince1680 wrote:
<quoted text>
Move on. If not, you will spend the rest of your life taking care of his needs and you will cease to exist as an individual and hate him for it.
Absolutely NOT true! Bipolar can be among the most emphatic, loving, and caring people. They live and see life in hues and colors that 99% of the population don't and they experience emotions (including love and devotion)and can express it in ways that defy the norm. Not all bp are abusive and on meds they can be somewhat unstable but still manageable. Almost everyone I know personally has some sort of anger/anxiety/abandonment issues. Bp people simply have a name for it. Tell your husbband to get D"ocd or he will lose the love of his life as I lost mine. My wife left me becasue I refused to get a Diagnoses. I never beat her or abused her but I was depressed as hell and talking about government lobbiest conspiracy's and about the coming revolution and she couldnt take it anymore. I am on meds now and I am at peace--except for the fact that my wife is gone... Tell your awesome and loving man that he cannot imagine the relief of having the spinning, seething, churning, thoughts inside his head. the meds do not detract from my mind or spirit as I had feared and originally resisted going to a p-doc for. Tell him that the human condition does not require his suffering and when the clouds lift and the massive grindstones in his head stop spinning he'll realize how he unnecessarily suffered for years!
I always blamed external factors for my depressions because there was no other explanations for them! It made no sense so someone had to be to blame, and who else but the devoted woman by your side ? Its simply a matter of proximity--nothing personal.

I have had trouble filling my Seroquel scrip lately (one of the two meds I take, the one which has no generic) because of insurance issues and have started to backslide a little. How intolerable it has become! And this was my everyday existence until I finally broke down, went to the Dr. and got on meds!

Tell him there is nothing noble about his pain! Nothing about it which makes him "him" that is worth preserving. The clarity that comes AFTER meds is the only time when he will be able to connect to the real him!

email me if you wish w8ting4theThaw@gmail.com

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#97 Jul 28, 2010
W8ting4theThaw wrote:
<quoted text>
Absolutely NOT true! Bipolar can be among the most emphatic, loving, and caring people. They live and see life in hues and colors that 99% of the population don't and they experience emotions (including love and devotion)and can express it in ways that defy the norm. Not all bp are abusive and on meds they can be somewhat unstable but still manageable. Almost everyone I know personally has some sort of anger/anxiety/abandonment issues. Bp people simply have a name for it. Tell your husbband to get D"ocd or he will lose the love of his life as I lost mine. My wife left me becasue I refused to get a Diagnoses. I never beat her or abused her but I was depressed as hell and talking about government lobbiest conspiracy's and about the coming revolution and she couldnt take it anymore. I am on meds now and I am at peace--except for the fact that my wife is gone... Tell your awesome and loving man that he cannot imagine the relief of having the spinning, seething, churning, thoughts inside his head. the meds do not detract from my mind or spirit as I had feared and originally resisted going to a p-doc for. Tell him that the human condition does not require his suffering and when the clouds lift and the massive grindstones in his head stop spinning he'll realize how he unnecessarily suffered for years!
I always blamed external factors for my depressions because there was no other explanations for them! It made no sense so someone had to be to blame, and who else but the devoted woman by your side ? Its simply a matter of proximity--nothing personal.
I have had trouble filling my Seroquel scrip lately (one of the two meds I take, the one which has no generic) because of insurance issues and have started to backslide a little. How intolerable it has become! And this was my everyday existence until I finally broke down, went to the Dr. and got on meds!
Tell him there is nothing noble about his pain! Nothing about it which makes him "him" that is worth preserving. The clarity that comes AFTER meds is the only time when he will be able to connect to the real him!
email me if you wish w8ting4theThaw@gmail.com
You missed the point about this person refusing to acknowledge he had a problem. My comment was right on.
W8ting4theThaw

Pomona, NY

#98 Jul 29, 2010
USAsince1680 wrote:
<quoted text>
You missed the point about this person refusing to acknowledge he had a problem. My comment was right on.
Your point was well noted. I understand full well that the individual refused to recognize that he had a problem, but I find that having suffered from bp myself, I often can find the right combination of words and images to present to the bp person so that they are able to transcend the barriers of their denial by a) trying to identify the sort of behaviors and thoughts that is going through the mind, and b) suggesting solutions in a way that reassure the victim that recognizing the problem WILL lead to subsequent medication BUT that there is no loss of self necessarily involved...

There are several motivations and factors for the denial which stem from the disorder itself. I provided my email address because I have been contacted by others because of my postings who had problems with bp loved one's in denial and I was able to provide insight and support by being able to communicate as a fellow sufferer and recognizing the forms of denial to head them off. I am a very well read professional and since my diagnoses, I have read scores of books on the subject which also helps me identify the fears and attitudes that undiagnosed bp ppl deal with....

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#99 Jul 30, 2010
W8ting4theThaw wrote:
<quoted text>
Your point was well noted. I understand full well that the individual refused to recognize that he had a problem, but I find that having suffered from bp myself, I often can find the right combination of words and images to present to the bp person so that they are able to transcend the barriers of their denial by a) trying to identify the sort of behaviors and thoughts that is going through the mind, and b) suggesting solutions in a way that reassure the victim that recognizing the problem WILL lead to subsequent medication BUT that there is no loss of self necessarily involved...
There are several motivations and factors for the denial which stem from the disorder itself. I provided my email address because I have been contacted by others because of my postings who had problems with bp loved one's in denial and I was able to provide insight and support by being able to communicate as a fellow sufferer and recognizing the forms of denial to head them off. I am a very well read professional and since my diagnoses, I have read scores of books on the subject which also helps me identify the fears and attitudes that undiagnosed bp ppl deal with....
Well, good luck with that but my advise still stands. No one should get involved with someone suffering from Bi-Polar disease unless they plan on spending the rest of their lives in turmoil.
Even with medication, the BP never acts rationally and the fact that the disease is hereditary is frightening.
Phoenix

Columbus, OH

#100 Jul 30, 2010
I think many bipolar people treat people badly using their condition as an excuse. I read a bipolar man's account on an online forum. What he said was that,yes, he did, have mood swings but he was conscious when it came to his interactions with other people. He did withdraw into a shell or be euphoric according to his moods but he never treated people around him badly. I agree - mood swings are one thing, but, lying, cheating, plotting,stealing,abusing someone either physically, mentally or emotionally, all these things are done consciously by some bipolar people.
A bipolar mood swing can make you spend money extravagantly, drink too much, sleep too much,take risks in your own life but never, never, force you to hurt another human being.
trishindallas

Dallas, TX

#101 Aug 2, 2010
I need to talk to someone. I am going through hell with this Guy. Can someone please email me? Geishacatra@yahoo.com
USAsince1680 wrote:
<quoted text>
Move on. If not, you will spend the rest of your life taking care of his needs and you will cease to exist as an individual and hate him for it.
Phoenix

Columbus, OH

#102 Aug 2, 2010
Same experience wrote:
<quoted text>
When I read your story, I thought I was reading my story, except for the fact that I am a man and the woman I had a relationship with is bipolar. Let me tell you, she did just about everything to me that you jerk boyfriend did to you. Bipolar people "fall in love" ridiculously quick and often. They push you away when you least expect it and when it seems the relationship is going strong. I almost married her until I realized I wanted someone who could actually think about me and my feelings once and awhile. After I left her, she married someone else within months. It didn't really surprise me, she is very needy and is obsessed with sexual attention. I knew she couldn't be without a guy for very long. My advice to you is the same advice I got from 2 people I know who have lived with bipolar people.....RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS! THERE ARE OTHER GUYS OUT THERE WHO CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY! DO NOT SETTLE BECAUSE YOU ARE LONELY OR HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM. Remember this one thing: LIFE ALWAYS GIVES US WHAT WE THINK WE DESERVE. YOU DESERVE THE BEST OUT OF LIFE. ALWAYS TELL YOURSELF THAT AND BE A GIVING, CARING PERSON AND THAT'S WHAT YOU WILL GET BACK. I wish you the best.
Thank you so much for your kind and motivational words.It means a lot. Its been 4 months now and I have exercised great restraint and not contacted him. I have also blocked most modes of communication with him so I don't know if he ever tried to contact me.Still, it hurts- when you have loved someone so completely and wholly, your love just doesn't vanish in an instant,it slowly fades away but with a lot of time.Although, I still have love, I am so angry and hurt.I have no desire to take him back but I do wish to God that he realizes his mistake and begs for my forgiveness,admitting that he messed up again and this time for real. I know truly moving on means not caring even for that apology and not caring what happens in their life, even if they get married to someone else in months. I, however, have not reached that stage of healing. Still stuck in the anger phase. He is still with this girl, and they keep posting happy couple pics on facebook, changing them every few days. It reeks of insecurity- as only those people seek validation from the world that everything is great. I have thought of emailing this girl and letting her know his reality but shrunk back thinking it is none of my business and she may moreover, not believe me. This girl only has a high school diploma, and is not that attractive so I wonder then why he left me. Friends say he was threatened by my success- I am in grad school and he hasn't finished college. This girl they say is on his level so he can feel superior to her. Thats what he always wanted- superiority over others. Friends also say that he offered her the commitment that he didn't give me because maybe her standards are lower than mine and she puts up with his crap. There are a lot of people out there with low self esteem and insecurity or just blind devotion who will stay with abusive individuals for the rest of their lives.Whatever, the explanation, nothing seems to soothe my bruised ego and wounded heart. I torture myself from time to time, looking at their pics and end up feeling horrible. Just today, after a few weeks, I saw that he has put up a pic of him and her with her mom. What can this mean? Is it so serious- will they get married?I know I should not care but its so hard.

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